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The Seaforth News, 1942-01-22, Page 71.. WATCH ON WEST COAST fypical of the stout little vessels which have forsaken the fishing trade to serve the Royal Canadian Navy for the duration as patrol boats is the craft shown here, bucking a Pacific gale, Have Yoii Heard? It was the firm's annual deuce, The junior bookkeeper had chosen a very attractive partner. "By the way," he volunteered ae they danced, "1'm glad our mute - ger isn't dere tonight. He's about ▪ The biggest ass of a lean one can meet, and not fit for intelligent company." She stopped dancing and stared hard, "Young man," she snapped ang- rily, "do you know who I am?" "Not the faintest idea," lie said, easily. "Well, I'm the teenager's wile!" she informed him, "Gee whiz!" he exclaimed "Now, do you know ,who I am?" "No," said his partner, "Thank goodness for that!" he replied,. as he backed hurriedly for the exit. The husband, after a very tiring day, was enjoying his pipe and reading the evening paper. The wife who was poring over a crosserord, suddenly galled out: "Henry, what is a female sheep?" "Ewe," curtly replied her hubby, and that's hoW'the row started. A Scot boarded' a traaucer carry Rig a very bulky parcel. Tite con- ductor, noting the, size, decided it was above the standard for free carriage, so he said. "It'll be a penny for you, and threepence for your parcel." Angus was atrieken speechless for a moment, and then he stuck his elbow into the parcel and said: "Come cot o'` that wi' ye, Sandy; it's twopence cheaper sitting down than for me to carry yel" "Eternity Is so vast—who can comprehend it?" said the speaker. " Perhaps," said the little man In the back row, "you never bought anything on the monthly payment plan." A radio actress who had just learned how to drive told Max Marcia, program driector, that she'd give him a Iift home after the broadcast on CBS Sunday night, As they came to an inter• section a cop held up his hand. "Hey," he said, "you can't matte a left turn." "What do you mean, I can't make a lett turn?" retorted the lediguant actress. "I learned that in my sec- ond lesson!" "My wife used to play the piano a lot, but since the chil- dren came she simply hasn't time for It." "1 know. Child- ren are a comfort, aren't they?" There was no doubt about it-- the t—the theatrical magnate was angry. "Don't ever mention the name ,.of that low-down, double-crossing twister of a leading lady!" he said. "I had no tdea she was that sort," replied his friend. "Why that girl's so mean, she not only pulls the wool over your eyes, but it's 90 per cc '? cotton!" "Is Mary your eieeet she' ter?" "Yes." "And Who cornea after her?" "You and two other fel- lows." MODERN ETIQUETTE BY ROBERTA LEE 1, Of what should one be care• ful when planning to take a guest for an automobile drive? 2. Should a widow, upon her second marriage, wear the engage- ment or wedding ring of her first marriage? 3, Is it all right for a mother to allow her children to attend a party at the home of someone eke does not know? 4. Should cue allow his child to stand up or sit on the arm of his chair in a theatre? 5, Is it permissable to dip celery or radishes into the salt dish i4 the dish is an individual one? 6. Who compiles the list to whom wedding invitations are to be sent? Answers 1. See that the car is tidy. Old shoes lying on the floor, packages scattered here and there, dolled rags or newspapers on the seat indicate carelessness and disregard for the guest's comfort, Also, see that the windshield and windows are clean and do not in any way obscure the guest's vision of the 30011017. 2. No; they ehouhl be put aside, 3. Yes, it the party is given for school friends. 4. No. This is a very selfish act, as it obstructs the view of persons seated behind, 6. No; take a little of the salt in the saltepoon or with the end 01 a clean knife and place it on the side of the dinner plate, or the bread and butter plate. .6 The bride and bridegroom together, consulting the parents of both, Well Trained Mine Sinks Supply Ship The Germans would prefer to have the people of Norway think that, the British are "doing noth- ing." Therefore all news of the sinking of German supply ships by the British along the Nor- wegian coast is carefully with- held. At the official investiga- tion into the sinking of one such ship the Norwegian captain ex- plained that a submarine had rise, en to the surface, halted the ship, given the crew ten minutes to get into lifeboats and had then sunk the ship, A German officer interrupted: "That is nonsense!" he shouted. "There are no British submarines along thee Norwegian coast. You must have struck a mine!" The captain repeated it was a submarine, but the German in- sisted he was wrong. "Very well, then," said the cap- tain. Ile then revised his account for the records: "A mine came to the surface on starboard side. It halted us, gave us ten minutes to get into lifeboats, then ran smack into our ship, sinking it" Nearly one-third the food now consented in Germany consists of potatoes. EX. FISHERMAN SERVES IN R.C.N. A fishing boat captai 1, ofieeing the services of himself, his vessel and his crew, is given a navigational test by two officers o: the R.C.N. HOW CAN I BY ANNE ASHLEY Q. Row eau I prevent the whites or eggs from falling after whip- ping? A, Add a pinch of cream of tar- tar to the whites while they a• -a being whipped, Q, How can I clean gold or ell - We' lace? A. Sew the lace to a strip of clean linen and boil in a solution of ons cupful of salt to one gallon of water. Dry without removing from the linen, and then sponge with a piece of white velvet dip- ped in alcohol. Q. How can I mend holed In enameled ware? A. Use equal parts of soft putty, table salt and sifted opal ashes. Cover the holes well and heat on the stove until the cement is hard. Q. flow eau I skim grease from the top of soupT A. Take square sheets of clean white tissue paper, lay one sheet at a time on the *urians of the soup, and all the grease will adhere to the payer. Q. How eau I remove soot from wallpaper? A. Ude cornmeal for removing soot from wallpaper. First, brush oft as much of the soot u possible; then .rub on the cornmeal until it becomes *oiled; brush off. Brave Patient Amazes Doctor Don't Englishwomen ever are 7" unmixed with astonishment, not unmixed with irritation, a German surgeon who dressed the wounds of a stewardess aboard a raider In the South Pacific which had pecked up survivors from the Baler Rangitane it had sunk. He had discovered that the pa- tient, MTS. E1io,a3th Plumb, of London, had been suffering for nearly nine hours from serious wounds received when a shell buret in front of her as she was leaving her cabin. She had then staggered up on deck, guided pass- engers to boat stations and when alt had been taken aboard by the raider refused medical aid until everybody else had been attended to. To add to her suffering, when the captives had been landed on the island of 13mlru by the Neale, anxious to be rid of them, she con- tracted tropical ulcers. The story of her heroism was pieced together by a son, a muni- tions worker, in London, from frag- mentary letters from the mother, messages font the ateamship com- pany, and finally by a ottation from Buckingham Palace announc- ing that the Britieh Empire Med- al had been conferred on her. Mrs. Plumb 1s in Auckland, New Zealaud, with one of her sons, who is 1n the Army. A third son is an air gunner in Iraq. A fourth, an air pilot, was killed last year. What Science Is Doing SOAP To make a batch of soap re- quires front three to seven days. Joseph 1. Jacobs of Brooklyn Poly- technic Institute cuts this down to fifteen minutes; Soap is usually made by treating fats or tallow with a weak solution of lye in wa- ter, just as the ancient Egyptians did, Mr, Jacobs uses no "water, Pat is dissolved in kerosene ''and solid lye added. The mixture is then heated to a temperature higher than is now possible, The lye reacts with the fat in less than fifteen minutes to make soap. This hot masa' of soap and kerosene is then sprayed into a vaciitnit eltani'bet', .i.:tel'e the keroseneand soap, vaporize off, leaving a dry, greuttlar, porous, quick-dlesoiving soap behind. The, kerosene and glycerine are condensed and cep- aratetl. The kerosene can then be reused for; a new batch. 'rhe heat costs are about one -twentieth these of present methods. Indus• trial soap and ligit•grade toilet soaps can be made, Treaty Protects Migratory Birds Signed -Twenty-Five Years Ago by Great Britain and the United States The Migratory Bird Treaty be. tween the United. States and Great Britain lied its twenty-fifth "birth- day" on Deo, 8, signed by the two nation': to Protect migratory water. Cowl and other forms of wildfire going back and forth between Canada and the United States, the treaty was proclaimed by Areal - dent Wileoh on Lee, 8, 1916. "It is no exaggeration to call thistreaty the most significant advance in the history of wildlife conservation in North America," Secretary Ickes of the Interior De- partment said of the anniversary. "In 1937, a similar treaty between Mexico and the United States was commuted to protect mtgretOlT birds and game mammals going back and forth between these two cOuntrles." "Discharging oua• federal oblige - time under these international agreements has made possible one of the most sucesaful wildlife oon- servation programs in history," Sooretary Ickes added, "Not only does the Department of the Inter - tor carefully regulate the hunting of the species affected, but it also maintains a nation-wide system Of, refuges to protect and encourage the migratory birds, The resulting increase in birds Is today the beat possibe evidence of the import- ance of this international co-oper- ation." Read The War News Carefully some Very Sound Advice Offered By The Ottawa Journal A 'British M. P. complains that statements of Brittah "official spokesmen" - prior and during the Libya attack were "too optimistic" and wants an explanation. At the same time Mr. L. S. B. Shapiro writes from Washington: "There is much comment in the capital and not a little criticism, of London's handling of the story of the lighting in Libya . , . Most of the argument resolves about Mr. Ohwrabillei original announcement. It is claimed that the Prime Minister's assessment of the situ- ation after the drat day of the battle was much too optimietlo and that 1t promised a quick and smashing victory over General Rommol's forces." This is what comes 00 people re- fusing to read war news carefully, and refusing above all to study the text of official statements. Actu- ally, Mr. Churchill made no predict• Bons about Libya, held out no hepe, was neither optimistic, nor peesimistie, What he std. and all that be did, was to explain the pre- parations for the battle, tell of the advance of the first days, compare the conflict to Blenheim, and say that its consequences would be im- portant, He certainly promised no victory. Read The Texts Further: Going back over Calro'a daily ofticial statements since the beginning of the Libyan battle, One finds them extremely oonaery alive; completely objective. In no single case did they promise a vic- tory, or make extravagant claims. What one wonders is: Did the average reader read these reports? Or did he prefer the highly imag- inative stories of special correspon- dents, most of whom could not pos- sibly see more than isolated frag- ments of the battle or grasp its tactical significance? The Journal has all along advte• ed people to read the wan news more carefully, and above all to read the texts of official reports, and the texts of Mr, Churchill, it is only by such reading, with the aid of maps, that one can follow this war. Never mind the "experts" and never mind; most of all, the economists -the people who Are eternally winning tile war by dbi•' oovoriug that the. enemy 1a short of 6omettlinq. The battle 1n Libya to net yet over; may yet result in a vital victory, 10 the meantime, while its result Se bens determined tet us not blame Mr, OhurohilI'a speech for making us: too optimistto, The fault was not with Mr. Ghuroliilt; 11 was in the slip:Mod, W0Y In which too many people read. Mr. Chur- chill. Three "R's" Defy Blitz In England The idea that education would be the first casualty of the war in Britain, and that children would not be able to carry on their studies, has been dissipated by the President of the Board of Education. In an interview that was broadcast from London ho said that education was being carried on not only to provide for the future and build up the minds and characters of the boys and girls to lead the Empire, but also because it is one of the im- portant soureea of supply to the ministry of manhood production. "Today more than 99 per cent of BritaIn's children ars getting full-time education," it was stat- ed. "School buildings have suf- fered damage, and in one city, 50 per cent of them were bombed out in a single night, but all the children were in school within a week. We have a Iarge measure of humanity in the life of the children which has been invalu- + able in the upkeep of morale, Health of the children luta also been looked after and there is no reason why it should not improve during tide year. From 60 to 90 per cent of the children receive milk," said the speaker. How Mr. Churchill Won His Captaincy Mr. Churchill has been ap- pointed colonel of the 4th Queen's Own Hussars, the regiment which he joined as a subaltern in 1895 when it war under orders for ludic. The Commanding Officer, then Col. Brabazon, was an old friend of Lord Randolph's; he told young Winston that he was a clever young ratan but could do with discipline and that at geed cavalry regiment was the plane for him to get it. Would he, therefore, promise not to leave the regiment till after he got his troop—that is, his captaincy. Winston said that he would not commit himself to that, but ho would promise not to leave the regiment until it had won the Indian International Polo Cup. Colonel Brabazon, knowing that no regiment had ever won the eup before it had been three years in India, said that that was good enough for him. But the 4th Hus- sars team, of which Winston Churchill waa a member, won the cup in its second season, and the war correspondent and Prime Min- ister -to -be was free of hie prom- ise. Bundle For Britain A brunette, twenty, rather streamlined and a Chilean, with 300 hours solo flying and 800 English words to her credit, Mar got Duhalde, joined the W.A.A.F. in London last September and le now engaged . .. ferrying Spit- fires from factory to airdrome. Some bundle for Britain!' QOICKLY amommompamagoelemalpepir toR iinaeabniMt gektalkllroelktlnt P•„ :o: enc stir nlerfll,.stedttlntstutlet ss. felse, at drurrbh prove. 11 o, messy back Place Australia On War Footing Prime Minister John Curtin an- nounced sweeping emergency mea - aures to draft all available man- power into the armed formes and place the entire nation on a war footing. Single men from 18 to 45 and married men from 18 to 35 will be required to register under the new draft laws. Veterans of the last war were being mobilized for guard and coast defence duties. The cabinet laid plans for drastte gasoline rationing and checked fuel, coal and clothing stocks and air raid precautions. Women rushed to answer • call for volunteers for the auxiliary cervices. Army Minister Francis Michael Fordo announced all militia mer had been called up for full-time training. Factory Cooking Leonard Toddinngs, a Bermuda editor -proprietor, was much im- pressed by an English tank fate tory he visited . He talked to a furnace hand during the dinner break. But was it a break? With a piece of red-hot steal es a hotplate and another piece of armour plating ea a grill past he made 1i perfect welsh rarebb,ll1 from his daily cheese ration, life. Mg it off with his tongs as slickly as a chef. In the intervals he pro. ceeded with his contribution to the next tank, Press Censorship English newspapers are attempt. ing to operate with press mem- ship such as described in thin story from Newspaper Wostd, London: "Once upon a time there was a ministry of information carrier pigeon. And as it was flying leisurely to iia destination it was jostled by a second plgeon which bawled: Get a move on. I've got the denial;" One Way To Win "There is only one way 1n which we can win—mobilize the conscience of the world, fortify our own spirits, meet blood and iron with blood and iron, carry the weight of material to help the best men in the world; gather our power in all its strength and strike." — Leonard W. Brocking. ton. Aggravating Gas When stormed des seems to smother yen, and you can hastily take deep breath, In ,0DL8a1SA. rtes cerminetiy.s to wan and soothe the stomach and expel gas, and TOREN laxatives for gentle,goick bowel anion. At your Drug Blore. ADLERIK'i ...CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS... BAllY C1110ICS 1P' YOU LAY YOUR POULTRY plans wisely for this season You're In to matte money with egg markets at home and abroad demanding Canada's limit. Order from the Bray' prlcolist If you want birds of real producing ability. We've pullets. Bray Hat- chery, 180 John N„ Hamilton, -Out. 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FOR QUALITY SERVICt AND SATlSL'ACTION TRY IMPERIAL e or 8 exposure riltus, developed and printed, or 8 reprints, Jas, Bak with flee enlargement. xdfrERIAL rsZOTo SIOnvioxo Station J, Toronto, Just Too Much Said a wife in T'ottenitate police court: "My husband wag a home bird, but when my daughter brought hone her sergemeemajor sweetheart, he walked out, saying it was too muth for hint after hit experiences itt the last wet."