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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Seaforth News, 1942-01-08, Page 3a, WATCH ON WEST COAST Typical of the stout little vessels which have forsaken the fishing trade to serve the Royal Canadian Navy for the duration as patrol boats is the craft shown here, bucking s Pacific gale. Have You Heard? It was the f14'731's. annual dance 'The junicee bookkeeper had chosen a very attractive partner, "By the Way," heyvolunteered as they danced, "I'm "glad our mana- ger Isnet here tonight. He's about the biggest ass of a man one can meet, and not fit fee intelligent company." She stopped dancing and stared hard. "Young man,", she snapped ang- rily, "do you know who I am?" "Not the faintest idea," he said, easily. "Well, I'm the manager's wife!" she informed him. "Gee whiz!" he exclaimed "Now, do you know .wbo I am?" "No," said his partner, "Thank goodness for that!" he replied, as he backed hurriedly for the exit. The husband, after a very tiring day, was enjoying his pipe and reading the evening paper. The wife who was poring over a crossword, suddenly nailed out: "Henry, what Is a female sheep?" "Ewe," curtly replied her hubby, and that's how the row started, A Scot boarded a tramcar carry- ing a very bulky parcel, The con- ductor, noting the size, (Molded it was shove the standard Thr free earriage, so/he said: "It'll be a penny for you, and threepence for your parcel." Angus was stricken speechless Mr a moment, and then he stuck his elbow into the parcel and said: "Come oot o' that wi' ye, Sandy; it's twopence cheaper sitting down than for me to carry ye!" "Eternity is ao vast—who can comprehend It?" said the speaker. " Perhaps," said the little man in the back row, "you never bought anything on the monthly payment plan." A radio actress who had just learned how to drive told Max Marcin, program driector, that she'd give him a lift home alter the broadcast on' CBS Sunday night. As they came to au inter- section a cop held up his hand. "Hey," he said, "you can't make e left turn." "What do you mean, I can't make a left turn?" retorted the indignant actress. "I learned that in my sec- ond lesson!" "My wife .used to play the piano a lot, but since the chil- dren carne she simply hasn't time for It." "I know. Child- ren are a comfort, aren't they?". There was no doubt about it— the theatrical magnate was angry. "Don't ever mention the name of that low-down, double-crossing twister of a leading lady!" he said, "I had no idea ahewas that sort," replied his friend, "Why that girl's ao mean, she not only pulls the wool over your eyes, but it's 90 per cc -e: cotton!" "Is Mary your eideat sis- ter?" "Yes." "And who comes after her?" "You and two other fel. lows." MODERN ETIQUETTE BY.ROBERTA LEE 1, Of what should me he care- ful when planning to take a guest for au automobile drive? 2. Should a widow, upon her second marriage, wear the engage- ment or woddlug ring of her first marriage? 3, Is it all right for a mother to allow her children to attend a party at the home of someone she does not know? 4. Should one allow his child to stand up or sit on the arm of his chair in a theatre? 6. Is it permissable to dip celery or radishes into the salt dish it the dish Is an individual one? 6, Wlho compiles the list to whom wedding invitations are to be sent? , Answers 1. See that the car is tidy. 01d shoes lying on the floor, packages scattered here and there, soiled rags or newspapers on the seat indicate carelessness and disregard for the guest's comfort. Also, see that the windshield and windows are clean and do not Sn any way obscure the guest's vision of the scenery. 2. No; they should be put aside, 8. Yes, it the party 111 given for school friends, 4. No. This 1e a very selfish act, as it obstructs the view of persons seated behind. 5. No; take a little of the salt in the saltspoon or. with the end of a clean knife and place it on the side of the dinner plate, or the bread and butter plate. .6 The bride and bridegroom together, consulting the parents of both. Well Trained Mine Sinks Supply Ship The Germans would prefer to have the people of Norway think that the British are "doing noth- ing." Therefore all news of the sinking of German supply ships by the British along the Nor- wegian coast is carefully with- held. At the official investiga- tion into the sinking of one such ship the Norwegian captain ex- plained that a submarine had rise en to the surface, halted the ship, given the crew ten minutes to get into lifeboats and had then sunk the ship. A German officer interrupted: "That is nonsense!" he shouted. ."There are no British submarines along the Norwegian coast. You must have struck a mine!" The captain repeated it was a submarine, but the German in- sisted he was wrong. "Very well, then," said the cap- tain. He then revised his account for the records: "A mine came to the surface on starboard side. It halted us, gave us ten minutes to get into Lifeboats, then ran smack into our ship, sinking it." Nearly one-third the food now consumed in Germany consists of potatoes, EX FISHERMAN SERVES IN R.C.N. A - fishing boat captain, offering the services sof himself, his vessel and his crew, is• given a navigational test by two Officers of', the R.C.N. • .HOW CAN I? BY ANNE ASHLEY Q. How can I prevent the whites of eggs from tailing after whip- ping? A. Add a pinch of cream of tar- tar to the whites while they a'•s being whipped. Q. How can I clean gold or ai1- ver' lace? A. Sew the lace to a strip at clean linen and boil in a solution of one cupful of salt to one gallon at water. Dry 'without removing from the linen, and then sponge with a piece of white velvet dip- ped In alcohoL Q. How can I mend holes in enameled wareT A. Use equal parts of soft putty, table salt and sifted ooal ashes. Cover the holes well and heat on the stove until the cement is hard. Q. How can I skim grease from the tap of soupe A. Take square sheets or clean white tissue paper, lay one sheet at a time on the surface of the soup, and all the grease will adhere be the paper, Q. How can I remove soot from wallpaper? A. Use cornmeal foe removing soot from wallpaper. First, brush off as much of the soot as possible; then rub on the cornmeal until it becomes soiled; brush off, Brave . Patient Amazes Doctor Don't Englishwomen ever cry?" unmixed with astonishment, not unmixed with irritation, a German surgeon who dressed the wounds of a stewardess aboard a raider tho South Pacific which had ploked up survivors from :he liner Rangitane it had sunk. He had discovered that tt a pa- tient, Mrs. Eliesb'th Plumb, of London, had been suffering for nearly nine hours from serious wounds received when a shell buret in front o1 her as she was leaving her cabin. She had then staggered up on deck, guided pan - angers to boat stations and when all had been taken aboard by the raider refused medical aid until everybody else had been' attended to. To add to her suffering, when the captives had been landed on the island of Emiru by the Nazis, anxious to be rid of them, she con- tracted tropical ulcers. The story of her heroism was pieced together by a son, a muni- tions worker, in Landon, from frag- mentary letters from the mother, messages fora the steamship com- pany, and finally by a citation from Buckingham Palace announc- ing that the British Empire Med- al had been conferred on her, Mrs. Plumb is in Auckland, New Zealand, with one of her sons, who is in the Army. A third son is an'air gunner in Iraq. A fourth, an air, pilot, was killed last, year. What Science Is Doing SOAP To make a batch of soap re- quires from three to seven days. Joseph J. Jacobs of Brooklyn Poly- technic Institute cuts this down to fifteen minutes. Soap is usually matte by treating fats or tallow with a weak solution of lye in wa- ter, just as the ancient Egyptians did. hlr. Jacobs uses no water, Fat Is dissolved in kerosene and solid lye added, The mixture is then heated to a temperature higher than is now possible, The lye reacts with the fat In lege than fifteen minutes to make soap. This hot masa of soap and kerosene is then sprayed into a vacuum chamber•. .dere the kerosene and soma, vaporize off, leaving a dry, granular, porous, quick -dissolving soap• behind. The kerosene and glycerine are condensed and. sep- arated, The kerosene can then be J'eteed for a new batch. The heat costs are about one•twentieth Those of, present .Methods, Indus- trial soap and high-grade toilet swipe chi' be made. Treaty Protects Migratory Birds Signed Twenty -Five Years Ago by Great Britain and the United States The Migi'atorY Bird Treaty be• tweet the United States and Great eiritain had its twentyYlith "birth- day" on Dec. 8, signed by the two nations to protect migratory water- fowl and other forms of wildfire going back and forth between Canada and the United States, tile treaty was proclaimed by Presi- dent Wilson on Dec. 8, 1916. "It le no exaggeration to call this treaty the most signiflcant advance it the history pt wildlife conservation in North America," Secretary Ickes of the Interior De- partment said of the anniversary, "In 1937, a.simllar breaty between Mexico and the United States was conaumated to protect migratory ' birds and game mammals going back and forth between these two countries." "Diaehaa'ging our federal obliga- tions under these international agreements has made possible one of the most sucessful wildlife •con- servation programs • in history," Sooretaly Ickes added, "Not only does the Department of the Inter- ior carefully regulate the hunting of the species affected, but It also maintains a nation-wide system of refugee to protect and encourage the migratory birds, The resulting increase in birds is today the best possibe evidence, of the import- ance of this international co-oper- ation." Read The War News Carefully Some Very Sound Advice Offered By Th. Ottawa Journal A British M. P. complains that statements at British "official spokesmen" prior and during trio Libya attack were "too optimistic" and wants an explanation. At the same time Mr. L. S. B. Shapiro writes from Washington: "There is much comment in the capital and not a little criticism, at London's handling of the story of the fighting in Libya . , . Moat of the argument resolves about Mr. Ohurohill's original announcement. . It is claimed that the Prime Minister's assessment of the situ- ation after the first day of the battle was much too optimistic and that it promised a quick and smashing victory over General Mammal's forces," This is what comes of people re- fusing to read war news carefully, and refusing above all to study the text at official statements. Actu- ally, Mr. Churchill made no predic- tions about Libya, held out no hepar, was neither optimistic nor pessimistic. What he did, and all that he did, was to explain the pre- parations for the battle, tell of the advance of the first days, compare the conflict to Blenheim, and say that its consequences would be im- portant. He certainly promised no victory. Read The Texts Further: Going back over Cairo's daily official statements since the beginning of the Libyan battle, one finds them extremely conserve ative; completely objective. In no single case did they promise a vic- tory, or make extravagant claims.' What one wonders is: Did the average reader read these reports? Or did he prefer the highly imag- inative stories of special correspon- dents, most of whom could not pos- sibly see more than isolated frag menta of the battle or grasp its tactical significance? The Journal has all along advis- ed people to read the war news more carefully, and above all to . read the texts of official reports, and the texts of Mr, Churchill. It is only by such reading, with the aid of maps, that one can follow this war. Never mind the "experts" and never mind, most of all, the ecouomista—the, people w'ho sr, eternally whining the war 11y diw covering that the enemy Is sport Wt Something. The battle in Libya 1s not yet over, may yet result in a vital Tictol'y in the eneantime, while' its result 111 being determined let us not blame Mr. Churchill's' ,speech for making us' too optimistic. The fault was not with Mr. Churchill; it was do the slipshod way is which too many people read Mr. Chur- chill. Three "R's" Defy Blitz In England The idea, that education would be the first casualty of the• war in Britain, and that children would not be able to carry on their atudiea, has been dissipated by the President of the Board of Education. In an interview that was broadcast from London he said that education was being carried on not only .to provide for the future and build up the minds and characters of the boys and girls to lead the Empire, but also -because it is one of the im- portant sources of supply to the ministry of manhood production. "Today more than 99 per cent of Britain's children are getting full-time education," it was stat- ed. "School building' have suf- fered damage, and in one city 50 per cent of them wore bombed out in a single night, but all the children were in school within a week,' We have a large measure of humanity .in the life of the children which has been invalu- able in the upkeep of morale. Health of the children has also been looked after and there is no reason why it should not improve during this year. From 60 to 90 per cent of the children receive milk,' said the speaker. How Mr. Churchill Won His Captaincy Mr, Churchill has been ap- pointed colonel of the 4th Queen's Own Hussars, the regiment which he joined as a subaltern in 1895 when it was under orders for India. The Commanding Officer, then Col. Brabazon, was an old friend of Lord Randolph's; he told young Winston that he was a clever young man bait could do with discipline and that a good cavalry regiment was the plane for him to get it. Would he, therefore, promise not to leave the regiinent till after he got his troop—that is, his captaincy. Winston said that he would not commit himself to that, but he would promise not to leave the regiment until it had won the Indian International Polo Cup. Colonel Brabazon, knowing that no regiment had ever won the cup before it had been three years in India, said that that was good enough for him. But the 4th Hug. sari team, of which Winston Churchill was a member, won the cup in its second season, and the war correspondent and Prime Min- ister -to -bo was free of his prom- • Ise. Bundle For Britain .A brunette, twenty, rather streamlined and a Chilean, with 300 hours solo flying and 800 English words to her credit, Mar got Duhalde, joined the W.A.A.F. in London last -September and is now engaged . , ferrying Spit- fires from factory to airdrome. Some bundle for Britain! ' 5?oppgD QUICKLY �edt(hn It t m uiiuo eu°si p'nm ice aeele, a1 druggists proves Oar money back • Place Australia On War Footing Prime Minister John Curtin an- nounced sweeping emergency mea- sures to draft all available man- power into the armed forces and place the entire nation on elwar footing. Single men from 18 to 45 and married men from 18 to 35 will be required to register under the new draft laws. Veterans of the last war were being mobilized for guard and coast defence duties. The cabinet laid plane for drastic gasoline rationing and checked fuel, coal and clothing stocks and air raid precautions. Women rushed to answer a nary for volunteers for the auxiliary services. Array Minister Francis Michail Porde announced all militia mea had been called up for full-time training. Factory Cooking Leonard. Toddings, a Bermuda editor -proprietor, was much im- prosaed by an English tank fats - tory he visited . He talked to n furnace hand during the dhiner break. But was it a break? With a piece of red-hot steel as a hotplate and another piece of armour plating as a grill pan he made a perfect welsh rarebit from his daily cheese ration, lift- ing it off with his tongs as slickly as a chef, In the intervals he pro. eeeded with his contribution to the next tank. Press Censorship English newspapers aro attempt. ing to operate with press censor- ship such as described in this story from Newspaper Worlds London: "Once upon a time there was a ministry of information carrier pigeon. And as it was flying leisurely to its destination it was jostled by a second pigeon which bawled: Get a move on. I've got the denial!" One Way To Win "There is only one way in which we can win—mobilize the conscience of the world, fortify our own spirits, meet blood and iron with blood and iron, carry the weight of material to help the best men in the world; gather our power in all its strength and strike" — Leonard W. Brooking. ton. 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RHEUMATID PAINS FRiUIT JUICER- THE PR1:N'Cl- pal itlgredients in Dixon's Rem- edy for Rheumatic Paine, NeUr- 1tls. Sold only Munro's Drug Store, 836 Elghi, Ottawa, Posit - paid 81,0U. ISSUE 1—'42 WANTED — LARGE LIVE DO- mestic rabbits. Any .quantity price 10c per pound you pay ex- press. Lightfoot, Int. Lawrence Market, Toronto.• WOMEN WAN'PPI) WANTED: WOMEN TO DU HOMt" sowing.Best pay, Postage paid on alwork. Sent anywhere, Bontex Specialty C:o., Box 27, Chase, B,C• FOR QUALITY SERVICE AND SATISFACTION TRY IMPERIAL 6 or 8 exposure films, developed and printed, or 8 reprints, 280. Both Witli tree enlargement. IMPLRIAI, micro Srtivio 0 Station J, Toronto, . Just Too Much Said a wife in Tottenham police court: "My husband was a hoc® bird, but when my daughter brought home her sergean t-majet sweetheai''b, ho walked out, saying It was too much for him after his experiences in the last war," •