The Seaforth News, 1955-05-12, Page 2Where is "sill" Fields' Missing Money?
Tales of Eccentric Comedy King
Calling all bankers! Have you
an account in a queer sounding
name — such as Felton J. Sat-
cbelstern, Mehatma Jeeves, Pro-
fessor Curtis T, Bascomb, or
Mortimer Snavely — that was
opened some years ago by an
American?
If you have, it is very likely
that your bank is holding some
of the missing money of the
comedian W. C, Fields who died
on Christmas Day eight years
ago.
• The great comedian had often
starved as a tramp before his
genius lifted him to wealth and
the experience had left him with
a horror of ever again being
penniless.
Wherever he went, on tours
that carried him around the
world, he would open a new
bank account by paying in most
of his weekly pay cheque and
use some grotesque -sounding
name. Then he would go away
leaving the money in the bank
and apparently forget all about
it.
In time he came to have about
$00 bank accounts in banks all
over the world.
When he died his executors
set out to try to trace these ac-
counts. They are still searching
and after eight years they have
succeeded in running down only
Thirty of them;
Some hundreds of thousands
of dollars earned by this king
of comedy remain undiscovered:
they lie in idle acounts in Eu-
rope, America, South Africa and
Australia to the credit of Pro-
fessor Septimus Sebmelling-
horne, Henry J. Spitzburger
and others.
Nevertheless, Field's recover-
able estate amounted to nearly
a million dollars. He willed that
it should be used to build a
home for white orphans.
This man's fear of being short
of money, a heritage from the
days when he slept on park
benches, under newspapers, also
led him to carry enormous sums
about on his person.
Once when setting out for
California in his limousine, he
showed New York reporters
$350,000 he was carrying—in 1,-
000 -dollar bills.
His legacy to white orphans
was not without its ironic side.
Claude William Dunkenfield, as
be was until the stage discovered
his better-known name for him,
was one of the few men to try
seriously to make himself an
orphan. Up till the age of eleven
he lived with his father, a strug-
gling fruit pedlar in Philadel-
Iia. Father Dunkenfield chas-
tisedhis son.
One story says that Fields
ruined some of his father's stock
with clumsy practising of the
juggling art of which he wet
later to become such a master.
Another story says that Pa
Dunkenfield stepped on a shovel
and barked his shins, and to
. teach his son not to leave such
things about, Pa hit Claude Wil-
iam on the shoulder blade.
Whatever the cause there
was a misunderstanding which
Claude William made worse by
ambushing his father and drop-
ping a heavy wooden box on his
head. Pa was knocked out by it
and Claude William seized the
opportunity to leave home and
never return.
Only when he was famous and
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ISSUE 19 — 1955
earning $1,000. a week as the
"greatest juggler on earth" did
he attempt a reconciliation. He
sent home a letter and ten dol-
lars.
In later years he had a man-
sion in Hollywood with the usu-
al lavish swimming pool, But be
could never be persuaded to use
it. In fact, he shuddered violent-
ly every time he saw it.
The reason was that in his
teens he had got his first pro-
fessional engagement as a jug-
gler and drowner—or, rather,
"drownee"—on an amusement
pier in Atlantic City, New
Jersey, for ten dollars a week
and cakes.
The pier charged no admission
to see Fields and the other
artists, but made its profits from
the sale of sandwiches and beer.
When business was good Fields
juggled. When it was bad he
"drowned that is, he would
fall off the end of the pier and
pretend he was drowning in
order to draw a crowd.
The "rescue' would be carried
out. by a fellow -artist, a sword
swallowers+ Saved, Fields would
be carried into a bar and rolled
on a barrel while barkers urged
sandwiches and beer on the on-
lookers.
When he was hailed as the
greatest comedian in the world,
W. C. Fields presented us with a
heavy, belligerent, pompous fi-
gure with a fruity alcoholic nose.
As he would sometimes admit,
the nose was not made-up but
had been acquired with the help
of whiskey and gin bottles.
Once Fields and his booking
agent, Billy Grady, were lavish-
ly entertained with Irish whis-
key by a friend. They left their
host's Long Island (New York)
home at four o'clock in the
morning in Fields's car. In the
back of the car were several
quarts of whiskey—a parting
gift. Their minds were hazy but
they had an idea it was snowing.
When their minds cleared, a
tropical sun was shining in the
hotel window and palm trees
were waving before their eyes.
Fields was relieved to learn that
Grady saw the palm trees, too.
They rang the bell and the wait-
er surprised them with the news
that they were in Ocala, Florida.
Worried, Fields hurried to look
at his car; there wasn't a scratch
on it. The perfect timing that
had enabled Fields to juggle
anything—eggs, boards, cigars,
hats canes, frying -pans, dishes,
shoes, flat -irons, cigar boxes—did.
not desert him when he was
driving a ear. Deep in his cups,
Fields could juggle five Ivory
balls.
Once during his juggling act
his hat and his cigar dropped
together by accident. Without
any excitement, Fields caught
both and juggled them along
with the rest and in good time
restored hat and cigar to their
proper places. This got such a
good laugh that Fields from
then on made it part of his act.
Fields got on well with all the
other performers on the same
bill—with the exception of what
the profession calls "fly -catch-
ers." These are comedians who
get their laughs by grimaces
and pretending to catch flies and
other insects. Fields used stage
properties to get his laughs, and
he got them by building up sus-
pense gradually.
One night Fields found the
audience was laughing at the
wrong places during an act in
which a billiard table and cue
were the props. Eventually, he
found a comedian called Ed
Wynn under the table. catching
flies,
"I'll kill him if he does that
again!' stormed Fields.
Wynn took the hint for some
time. (Fields had punched an-
other "fly -catcher" for much the
same thing.) Then one night in
Boston, Fields found the laughs
coming at the wrong time again,
and he caught Wynn at his "fly -
catching" under the billiard
table. Enraged, Fields brought
the cue down on Wynn's head.
Wynn fell on his face with a
loud groan and the audience
howled with laughter at what
they thought was well -panned
comedy business. From time to
time Wynn would let out a low
howl to the huge delight of the
audience. Fields later incorpo-
rated this episode into his act.
Difficult in his last years,
Fields took to ambushing his
closest friends. But when he
died on Christmas Day in 1946
they took a full page In Menori-
amnotice in a Los Angeles pa-
per. It ran:
"To the most prejudiced, hon-
est and beloved figure of our
so-called film colony, We loved
him — and peculiarly — he loved
us,
It would upset Fields if he
could know of his missing
thousands of dollars, But he
would have the last laugh any-
way—at all the trouble he's been
causing his lawyers.
All I know is what 1 read in
the papers. Rogers.
THEY CALL IT "UNICYCLIST"—Solemn-faced Terry Bociuriciw has
never seen a creature quite like the skinny, many -limbed one
one on the wheel, and who has? Called simply "Unicyclist/1 the
modernistic statue by Raymond Finak was shown at the outdoor
sculpture exhibit. The conventional statue in the background and
the stone dice player at right doesn't seem to interest two-year-
old Terry.
How Can I ?
Q. How can 1 remove the line
deposit from a teakettle?
A. This is caused by hard wa-
ter. If the kettle is aluminum or
iron empty it and heat it cau-
tiously and slowly. As the heat
expands the metal the deposit
will track and can then be re-
moved. If there is not much de-
posit it can sometimes be re-
moved with vinegar if allowed
to stand in the kettle until the
lime dissolves. Add a little salt
to the vinegar, The deposit is
dissolving if little bubbles ap-
pear.
Q. How can I make a good
solution for cleaning painted
walls?
A. Use 1 cup of kerosene, 1 cup
01 vinegar; 1 cup hot water. Ap-
ply with a cloth, then wipe
thoroughly with another soft
cloth.
Q. How can 1 avoid frosting
that runs?
A. Add a half teaspoonful of
baking soda to the boiling frost-
ing and it will keep it from run-
ning.
Q. How can. I get rid of centi-
pedes?
A. House centipedes feed on
roaches, flies, spiders, and other
pests so if one is seen in the
house allow it to go On its way
as it is really helpful,
Q. How can I sweeten cream
that has turned slightly sour?
A. It can be sweetened and be
used for coffee without curdling
or tasting sour, if a very small
quantity of baking soda is add-
ed *0 it.
Q. How can I keep white
blouses front turning yellow?
A. White blouses will keep
white if a small amount of borax
is added to the warm soap suds.
Rinse in water containing a lit-
tle bluing.
Q, How can I prevent having
lumps in the tablecloth?
A. There will be no lump in
the center of the tablecloth when
itis put on the table after laun-
dering, if it is folded three times
lengthwise before it is folded
across.
Q. How can 1 make n substi-
tute for linoleum?
A. Stretch a worn brussels
carpet wrong aide up and apply
two coats of floor paint, 24 hours
apart, After this, use one or two
coats of waterproof varnish.
Q. How can I give a fluffiness
to blankets?
A. Alter washing and drying
woolen blankets, whip them
with a carpet beater. It will
make the wool light and soft
again,
Q. How can I remove spots
from wall paper?
A. If dry bran is rubbed an the
spots it will absorb a -good deal
of the grease and dirt. Grease
spots can also be removed by us-
ing blotting paper, placing over
the spot and placing a warm
iron over the paper, Do not have
the iron too hot. •
Ir,
LE, KS
claw, ArviDews.
Believe it or not, but the cook-
ery experts for a big manufac-
turer of cooking oil have come
up with a recipe for a no -roll
pastry which is made right in
the pie -plate. No mixing bowl —
no bread board — no rolling pin
-- sounds incredible, doesn't it?
This pastry is said to be quick
and easy to :nix; they do say
that it never gets tough, never
shrinks, never bsllnons and al-
ways stays crisp no matter how
moist the filling
All you do, for a single crust,
is sift into a pie pan these dry
ingredients: 11/2 Cups sifted flour,
11 teaspoons sugar, and 1 tea-
spoon salt, In measuring cup,
combine 3 cup oil with 2 table-
spoons cold milk; whip with
fords and pout all at once over
Hour mixture. Mix with fork un-
til flour is completely dampened,
Press evenly and firmly with
fingers to line bottom of pan;
then press dough up to line sides
and partly cover rim. Be sure to
press dough in uniform thick-
ness. To flute, press dough lightly
with fingers. Do not use a high,
fluted edge,
For baked shell, prick entire
surface of pastry; bake at 425°
F, 12 minutes, or until lightly
browned. Cool before falling. For
unbaked shell with filling such
as custard, pumpkin, or pecan,
bake at 400° F. for 15 minutes,.
then reduce to 350° 2', and bake
until crust is lightly browned
and filling testa done,
,1 1'
According to the lady who
sent it to The Christian Science
Monitor this cake recipe is "al.
most fool proof and the cake is
delicious even if it .Calls." It's
easy to make, requires no frost-
ing, and keeps well.
FRUIT COCKTAIL CARE
1 cup flour
1 teaspoon soda
1 cup sugar
1 cup fruit cocktail (small.
can)
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
%s cup nut meats
Brown sugar
Sift soda with Hour. Add'
sugar. Add other ingredients ex-
cept brown sugar and mix well
(it is not necessary to beat).
Pour into greased pan. Sprinkle
brown sugar over top. Bake 25
Or 30 minutes at 350° F,
1. s
Sweet potato pudding is con-
sidered a real delicacy. You ands
your family will probably' like
it too, and here's now to make
it.
SWEET POTATO PUDDING
1 egg
3 cups grated rawly sweet potato
>/y teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon each, cloves, all-
spice, and salt
2 cups milk
2 cups brown sugar
4 tablespoons melted butter
Beat egg slightly. Add all
other ingredients and mix well.
Pour into a but.ered baking dish.
Bake at 325° F. for 45 minutes,.
or until well browned, stirring
occasionally, Serves 8.
Now that we're "down south"'
here's an ancient recipe for corn
bread — easy to make and, I
might add, with the proper ac-
companiments; very easy to eat.
And enjoy!
COEN BREAD
1 egg
*/a cup sugar
1, cup yellow corn meal (scant),
1 cup flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
Ve teaspoon salt
1. can milk
2 tablesnoons shortening,
melted
Sift together corn meal, flour,.
salt, baking powder, and sugar.
Add egg and milk and stir quick-
ly until well mixed: Stir in
shortening. Pour batter (it wili
be rather thin) into greased pan
and bake at 400° F.
Every addition to true know-
ledge is en addition to human
power.
Horace Mann,
Unangelic dawn of an atomic "sunrise" Is captured in the view, above, photographed from
Angel's Peak, some 55 miles from the Atomic Energy Commission's test sight at Yucca Flat,
Nevada. This blast, typical of many of the tests, was set off atop a 300 -foot tower to simulate
conditions which would prevail if an atomic device was dropped from a plane. Rare close-up
view, below, shows all that is left of one of the 300 to 500 -foot spiderwebs of steel follow -
Ing a blast test. Technician is checking radiation level of wreckage. Debris is from lower
part of tower; upper works are vaporized by heat of the atomic reaction.
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