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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Seaforth News, 1958-09-11, Page 6"Dear Anne Hirst: I know you will think me im- pulsive when I tell you I've been married three years and am on the verge of leaving my Husband,_ Not until we came back from our honeymoon did I learn what a dreadful temper he had, nor dream he could even show physical cruelty. I soon - learned d dare not disagree with him over the slightest thing; he shouts and curses, and he has etruck me more than once. He is the most opinionated man. I ever knew, always right. He makes me feel like a worm. Well, the worm is about to turn. "To give him his due, ' he is in some ways a good man. He loves our baby, and sometimes he seems proud of me, too He works hard, and provides well, but material comforts aren't all there is to marriage. For the baby's sake, I have felt I had to stay married, but I can no longer love a man who is cruel. If I thought he would ever change, I'd take the chance; but now that T see his real nature, I am actually afraid to stay with him. "I am only 23, and in good health. If I had to, I could make a living for me and the baby, (My father would help.) Shall I leave now? Or try to recall the nice things he does for us, and let him creat me as he pleases? ON THE VERGE" * Has your husband any idea * how much you resent his con- * duct or have you accepted * it without protest? Does he * know you are actually tempted * to leave him? How your love * and respect are being destroy- * ed by his double - edged * cruelties? * I think you should explain, * calmly and without anger, that * you cannot go on like this. * You will take the baby and * go to your father (or else- * where) and leave your bus- * band alone for a while to live * his life without you both, * When (or whether) you will * come back is not to be decided * now. Be sure to tell him how * much you appreciate his gen- erosity, but that without kind- * ness and justice, it is not * enough. * If your only reason for stay- * ing is for the baby's sake, * ask yourself what sort of home * life she will have as she grows * up, living with a father whose * ungovernable temper and phy- * sical abuse of her mother * poison her young mind. Re- * mind him that she is just one * of your reasons for leaving. * Perhaps that is all you will * have to say, He may be more * shocked than you to learn the * extent of your rebellion — or " he may not believe that you * mean what you say. At any * rate, he will have to think of * himself as you see him, which * is exactly what he needs to do. * If you are as desperate as * your letter implies, this seems * your only course. „ * * ''Dear Anne Hirst: I ani deeply in love with a nice girl 15 years old. I am 57, and never married. She loves me and wants to marry me. "Her father is dead, her mother has married again, and she is now staying in a home and in charge of the D.P.A,; she will have to stay there until she is 18. At times I think I cannot WELL -TRAVELED -A towel, dec- orated like a well -traveled plate of luggage, is displayed by shapely Penny Donne, "Miss Western Linens and Domestics." Department score buyers from all over the west will see Miss Donne modeling at. a San foncico hotel. live without her. I have good health, education, 2 am a good worker, a church member and of good habits. I live with a bro- ther, 70, also a bachelor. Please let me know what I should do. I ,am worried. F.D." * You are old enough to be a * grandfather, and you want to * marry a 15 -year-old child, to * live with you and your bro- * ther, 70. * Don't be "worried", as you *• say! Tell the pastor of your * church that you crave to wreck ▪ the life of a child, * Jefferson David wrote, "Old * fools are too dumb to teach * mules„ * Don't be a fool, unless on * your pastor's advice. * * * If you find yourself married to a man who concealed his real nature, do something about it. Often a frank talk will open his eyes . , Anne Hirst's success in helping couples get along to- gether Is long established. Per- haps she can help you, too. Write her at Box 1, 123 Eighteenth St, New Toronto, Ontario. Modern , tiquette n • by Roberta Lee Q. Is it proper, when cheeks have been received as wedding gifts, to display diem with the other gifts? A. Ordinarily it is in very bad taste to display gifts of money. However, if there are a number of checks received, you may properly display them with the amounts concealed. This can be done by laying them under a pane of glass, one above the other, so that only the signatures are revealed — using an envel- ope to cover the amount of the top check. Q. When a woman drops some article on the street and a stranger picks it isp for her, what should she say? A. A pleasant "thank you", ac- companied by a smile, is suffi- cient, Q, When are "Informals" prop- erly used in correspondence? A. The "informal" is a fold - over card, and may be used for any short note—for sending and replying to invitations, for en- closing with a gift, and so on. This type of card isnot proper, however, as a letter of con- dolence, Q. Should the used silverware be gathered up before removing the plates from the dinner table? A. No; the silver should be left on the plates, and all removed from the table together. Favorite Roses tsun.p hafk, Dream gift for the bride or bride -at -heart] Beautify . a bed set, guest towels, scarf ends. Easy 8--to-inch crosses — use shaded effect in 6 -strand cotton, Pattern 603: transfer of one 7 x 1911 inch motif; two 52/4 x 12%, directions for crocheted edging. Send THIRTY-FIVE CENTS 'stamps cannot be accepted, use postal note for safety) for this pattern to LAURA WHEELER, Box 1, 123 Eighteenth : St., New Toronto, Ont. Print plainly PAT- TERN NUMBER, your NAME and ADDRESS, As a bonus, TWO complete patterns are printed right in our LAURA WHEELER Needlecraft Book. Dozens of other designs you'll want to order — easy fas- cinating handwork for yourself, your home, gifts, bazaar items, Send 25 cents for your copy of this book today! MARGARET GETS WET — Princess Margaret gets a Zook at Niagara's famous Horseshoe Falls the hard way. She donned a slicker and went down to Table Rock where the huge cataract on the Canadian side can best be viewed. RONRTISS ujitE.F Is there anyone who reads this column thinking of buying a house? If so here is a tip I pick- ed up yesterday. In making an offer to purchase have your lawyer include the following condition. "I offer to purchase said property subject to satis- factory reports following inspec- tion by plumbing and electrical inspectors". This suggestion was offered by a man who had been called In by friends of ours to see what was wrong with their septic bed. The weeper -tile area is always swampy, as the surface water doesn't get away properly. The plumber said it wasdue to the heavy clay soil not providing proper drainage. He added that if a man Is building his own house and knows the soil is heavy he would be well advised to have the tile trenches filled in with sand. Never knowing what we might run into ourselves we were very interested in finding out all we could. So far we haven't had any trouble. Well, there is a nice breeze this morning and I am sitting en our back patio enjoying it. It has been a hot week and the lawns and gardens are looking very thirtsy again. Playing under the trees is a wee black squirrel —the first I have seen. Hope he stays around as squirrels are fascinating little creatures to watch — a change from cats, dogs and rabbits. Probably 2 shall have a few bird stories to tell later on es I have discovered there is a bird sanctuary near here that I didn't know about until yesterday. That I must visit. I am also wondering '1 there is a secluded spot near the lake within easy driving distance where we could picnic. I suppose the only way to find out is to go exploring. I have been disap- pointed in the Port Credit area. There it is, right on the lake shore and no place to enjoy it. That is, as far as we know at present. We are not looking for a beach — just a shady spot with cool breezes off the lake — but without a long hot drive to get to it. From where I am sitting 1 can see the cars whizzing by along the Dundas — so many cars — apparently there are many people who don't mind hot drives. Yes, so many shining, streamlined cars, We very rarely see a jalopy any more. And such pretty colors, making a never- ending splash of brightness against the background of trees along the highway. In the immediate foreground Partner is out digging in the garden. He wants a bigger gar- den next year — more space be- tween the rows. And iris on the edge, the full length of the vege- table garden. That is in re- sponse to an urgent request, Partner doesn't like iris. Nor does Bob. They say it takes up too much room and lasts such a short while. And collects weeds. But I like iris so Partner con- ceded — "All right, you can have your iris if you want them but instead of cluttering up the flower beds we'll have a whole row along the edge of the vege- table garden." That suits me fine. I don't care where they are just so long as I have them. The perennials are giving us lots of bloom just now and the perfume after sundown is just grand — mostly from petunias, nicotines and stocks. And yet we never see a humming bird. They were flitting around quite often at Ginger Farm. Our Toronto family came in last night and the three boys were in great form. It was late when they arrived — too dark to play outside. But that didn't worry them. They made a bee- line for the hall closet where we keep a small wagon and the lest of their toys. They pi?e floor and play happily until it them all on to the livingroom is time to go home. They never ask to take any of the toys away with them. Somehow their little minds must reason things out, know the toys are meant to stay here and will be waiting for them next time they come. The above was written on Sat- urday. They came Sunday and our Toronto family packed us, the boys, a lunch and Honey into their car and we went for a drive to Eugenia Lake, away the other side of Flesherton. At one point between Flesherton and Shelburne we saw a sign which read "1700 feet above sea level". No wonder the air is so fresh and cool in that district. I be- lieve it is supposed to be the highest point in this part of Ontario. Dee and Art are be- ginnig to feel the need of a lake shore cottage that we could all share in turns. But it is hard to find the ideal spot — not ton Happiness is Where You Fond it It was the day the British 'red berets" had flown into Amman at young King Hussein's urgent request. The Americans were al- ready in Beirut. No one knew what the Russians would do. 1 chided myself for coming away without my portable radio, but one would not have supposed so much could happen in five days. The sound of a radio came to me through the trees: I got up • from the ground -sheet spread beside my car, and made my way through a clearing. There was a very small Ford, not in its first flush. An elderly couple were having a picnic lunch -- the the' woman on the back seat of the car, the man on a low chair beside the open door. The port- able radio lay on the grass be- side him. The one o'clock news, it announced, would begin in half a minute. I greeted the woman silently, raised my eyebrows question- ingly, and she nodded kindly, I sat down on the grass at a little distance, reluctant to intrude up- on their meal. She called out: "Dont 'keep away; come right close," We listened quietly to the an- nouncer. At the end I expressed an opinion, "That's just what my husband was saying, wasn't it, love?" said the woman. It gave one a warm feeling of being cabinet material. "If things get any worse," I said, "I shall go back to London." "Are you on holiday?" asked the woman, "Yes and no," I replied, "not my real holiday, But I've just packed up without a word to anyone, at a moment's notice, and come away for five days, We spend too much time on everything under the sun. Some- times we need to spend time getting to know ourselves." "That's right," said the man, "we da. Only some's afraid to. They're all caught up with things and people." "Shall we tell you what we've done?" said the woman. "We had a lovely house, our own freehold, near Bristol, We'd furnished it beautifully. There were carpets right up to the walls on all the floors, and a Welsh dresser, and all, My hus- band's retired on a good pen- sion. And you know what we've done? It all seemed artifieial, trying to do better than one's neighbors, you know. So we sold it, and we've bought a resi- dential caravan, and that's where we live now. We've never been so happy, have we, love?" "That's a fact," said the man. "It was a big adventure—we're over seventy, you know. But my wife—she's made it a real home." "He's handy about the place for the odd jobs," broke in his wife with a laugh. "We have rare times, and there's televi- sion and all. It's so easy to man- age. Money's just easy enough too, what with what we got for the house, and his pension, and both our old -age pensions, We don't need a lot of money. All we need is happiness, and we've got that." "I've got friends who are fabu- lously rich," I said, "and others who have scarcely a penny to bless themselves with, and it has isolated, nor too fax away and yet fairly secluded with a beach suitable for children. We are going on the hunt again tomor- row — where, i don't know — that is up to Dee and Art to decide. Incidentally, we stopped at the Horning's Mills farm on the way home and found our friends very disturbed over the fact that a neighbor had killed a rabid fox, fortunately before it had a chance to attack him. There is quite a dense bush bordering their. property, close to where the cows pasture, so they are decidedly uneasy. shown me that happiness has ab- solutely nothing to do with either wealth or the laek of rt" "Or things," said the woman, "or even people. I think really," she continued, puzzling it out as she went along, "it's more what you can givethat makes you happy. Like in a marriage, if you can give something really worth -while, like patience and understanding and synxpathy — comfort perhaps. Well, that makes you happy. Not just what salary he can bring back to you. D'you know what I mean?" "I know fine," I said, "Not only in marriage, either." "That's right" said the man comfortably, "we're all differ- ent." ifTer- ent" "You icnow," said his wife, "I used to want to have everything better than anyone else, Now it doesn't seem at all important, I don't want things any more. I just want to be happy, and it's so easy. Oh, dear!" she branched off, suddenly self conscious, "what a funny conversation we're having." "Well, it's a funny time," f said, "what with the Middle East and all. It's the sort of time when it's nice to talk about real things. Happiness is very real; and so are you. Thank you fox letting me listen to your radio." "What a lot of nice peopla there are about," said the wo• man, smiling broadly. "It's a fact," said her hus- band, "we must remember it." —By Rosemary Cobham in The Christian Science Monitor. Week's Sew -Thrifty i'EEN a ,.1 • * 4666 •.�+'� � 112'/2-24y2 'f ' "f` nee 4444 Cut for coolness, battery — and jiffy sewing! Note breezy- Lut-modest scoop neckline, grace- ful skirt and suggestion of sleeves. A Printed Pattern de- signed to fit without alterations. Printed Pattern 4666: Half Sizes 121/2,14%, 16/, 181, 201/2, 22%, 24112. Size 161 requires 31 yards 39 -inch fabric. Printed directions on each pat- sern part, Easier. accurate. Send FIFTY CENTS (stamps cannot be accepted, use postal note for safety) for this pattern. Please print plainly SIZE, NAME, ADDRESS, STYLE NUMBER. Send order to. ANNE ADAMS, Pox 1, 123 Eighteenth St„ New Toronto, Ont. ISSUE 35 — 1958 All of a sudden, the movies have discovered ladies' slips. A number of new movies parade their feminine slats across the screen in them. From left o right, Elizabeth Taylor in "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof", Christine Corers in "A Certain Smile" and Tina Louise in "The Trap".