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The Seaforth News, 1957-12-12, Page 6ANNE 1141IRST yowr, rai,ta2v 031144-nt¢cet. "Ever since my husband died rine years ago, my daughter and C have lived alone anfi I have come to depend on- hail for all my pleasure in living," writes e distracted mother, "She has had a few beaux but none of them ,eemed serious, and I never had any idea she would ever leave Now she intends to marry one of them after Christmas! I am almost crazy at the prospect of living without her. I resent her fiance terribly, and I am oppos- ing the marriage with all my heart, "My boys have their own homes, but I don't like either of their wives. When I've visited them they expect me to do most of the housework, and baby sit so they can go out and have a good time: I won't be made use of that way, I'd rather live to myself. I can afford to, and I don't need any of them — "But how can I fill the long days and longer nights after my girl leaves me? I simply cannot face that, and I'm about ready to give up!" THAT IS LIFE ' Most mothers look forward to the day their daughters will * establish a home of their own; * in that they see the fruition ,< of their mutual hopes, and only * pray that her life will be as " richly complete as theirs has been. Long beforehand they * have prepared themselves for * the leisure that is to come. * They have kept their own * friendships intact; they have grown useful in their church * and community projects, and * made themselves almost irre- placeable in the local scene, * If this mother had been wise * enough to foresee the future, " she would feel ouly gratitude • today that her daughter is to * fulfill her natural destiny and *.see in it the natural rhythm * of the generations. She would • give her daughter her blessing, * and send her forth from home * with love and praises to cheer * her on — " Instead, she clouds the girl's joyous engagement days with * the blackness of her own des- * pair! * II it is living alone in her big • house that distresses her, sure- * ly she can find• among her con- * temporaries some congenial * friend who will be glad to * share her home. Or a business * or college girl that will ap- * preciate the mothering she * yearns to give? The future is * what she makes it. If she will * plan it sensibly, and welcome " the many avenues of service it Qne-Yard Wonders PRINTED PATTERN EACH GARMENT One yard 54 -inch fabric for solero — one yard for skirt! No :eed to bankrupt your budget — 'hoose a wool remnant, make us ensemble! Printed dirertions ire easy to follow! Printed Pattern 4860: Misses' Sizes ,10, 12, 14, 16, 18. Bolero, skirt in all given sizes, each gar- , ment 1 yard 54 -inch fabric. Printed directions on each pat- tern part. Easier, accurate. Send FORTY CENTS (40d) (stamps cannot be accepted, use postal note for safety) for this pattern. Please print plainly SIZE;: NAME, ADDRESS, STYLE NUMBER. Send order to ANNE ADAMS, Box 1, 123 Eighteenth St., New Toronto, Ont. * opens for her, she will find the: '° day too short for all the en- ll,,'grossing opportunities that * await. her. TO "DESPERATE": If your * own mother has protested your marriage because she * would be left alone, wouldn't * you have questioned her love * for .you and resented her self- * ish preoccupation with her * own problems? * ' Don't deprive your girl Of * a mother's love and under- * standing through these pre- * cious days. Conceal your fears * of your future, and throw * yourself whole-heartedly into * her wedding plans. She will * never forget it, and how she * will love you for it! That is " what a mother is for, and I am * sure you will not let your * daughter down. • Then, as soon as she has left * on her honeymoon, ring up your minister and your closest * friends. Remind them that now * you will . have time on your * hands, and ask their advice as * to where you can be most use- * ful. They know your talents * and your temperament, and * will help you find rewarding * fields to explore. Good luck! * * * HE MUST REFORM "Dear Anne Hirst: I have found out that the man I expect to merry after Christmas has been seen drinking too much in vari- ous places lately. I did not even know he touched alcohol, and I am just about frantic. Whatever am I going to do? "I hesitate to say anything to him, but I simply cannot accept this. Is he having one last fling before marrying? Or has he done this before, and kept it from me? • I have been reading your column for years now, and so I turn to you to guide me now. FRIGHTENED" * Tell your parents about this * at once. They are the ones to * put your fiance on probation, * and they will not be so easily * swayed by his pleas as you * might be. * If you have read this column * for long, you cannot have ig- nored all the misery and de- * gradation that a drinking hus- band causes. Unless the man you love conquers his appetite * before marriage, you would * find no escape from the shame * and grief you would face after- * ward. • Be brave now, and firm. It is * for his sake, too, you know. A * man will find the strength to * give up bad habits for his flan- * cee when he would indignant- * ly refuse to reform for hs wife, * * * The role of a loving mother can be heart -breaking at times, but it is only in the faithful ad- herence to her maternal respon- sibilities that' she can conquer • In time of anxiety or any other trouble, write Anne Hirst about it. Address her at Box 1, 123 Eighteenth St., New Toronto, Ont, Mothers-in-law Are No Headache Here Getting on with mother-in-law remains for many couples an acid test of marriage. It is` the same practically all over : the world. But in one primitive South American region, mothers-in- law are no headache at all. Among the fierce Campa Indians, living in the jungles of Peru, a man, on taking a wife, at once puts himself beyond his mother- in-law's reach or, perhaps more important, beyond her tongue. Tribal law decrees that she may only talk to him if a very serious emergency arises. And then not to his face. She can only" converse with him, on such rare occasions, on a back-to- back basis. As a result, mother-in-law in- terference among these croco- dile -hunters and monkey -eaters is non-existent. To these tribespeople such a system is quite logical. For the Campas place no limit on the number of wives 'a man may take, Skilled hunters and war- riors take their pick of very young girls. The wedding cere- mony is almost non-existent A batch of wives, too, can be ex- changed for' onevery pretty one. The women don't object. But, however many wives he has, a Campa is honour -bound to feed and accommodate all of them. A first-class warrior may have ten or more wives living -under his thatched roof. Imagine what arguments might arise if moth- ers-in-law had the power to in- terfere! BIG HEART Little Girl — Look at that kind man across the street. Mother— What is lie doing, dear? Little Girl — He's sitting on the sidewalk, talking to a ba- nana peel, SO? IT'S COMFORTABLE—While the modern "sling" chair may be an object for derision in many traditional homes, four-year- old Robin Klempuss finds it's mighty handy for a: siesta in Ciudad Trojialo, .Dominican' Republic. Robin's position shows that youngsters can be as free -form as any chair. C°we .dol .e P. Clea,&lx;e Last week eleven hundred women, mostly farm women, took a brief holiday. Where did they go and what did theygdo? They went to Toronto, no less, t0 attend the last Ontario Conven- tion of the year for the Women's Institutes of the Province held at the Royal York hotel. Many of the women had rooms at the hotel. In some cases two wo- men, previously completely un- known to each other, shared one room. It all added to the fun and to the "get acquainted" op- portunities for W.I. members with a common interest. Most of those who registered were dele- gates. Sdme, like myself, were there through choice and without the obligation or taking back a report — unless you call this column a "report". Be that as it may, it will certainly not be a report in the ordinary sense of the word as I don't want to steal any delegate's thunder, So I'll just be satisfied with giving you my impressions and a few of the highlights. It must be fifteen years since I attended a W.I. Convention in Toronto — not since the last re- distribution of district areas to convention centres, after which the district to which I belonged was given Guelph as its conven- tion area. This year I was far too busy baby-sitting to get to Guelph but when the Central Ontario branches were schedul- ed to meet in Toronto I thought, here's my Thence — and I took it. Actually, it makes little dif- ference which Convention you attend. You naturally meet the same Provincial officers and the subjects under discussion are common to the W.I. as a whole. Even the reports cover similar ground as every W.I. branch has the sone standing committees. But yet there is an individualism among the delegates, _partly be- cause the members come from widely scattered districts For this reason they learn a good deal from each other, just by chatting before meetings, or at meal -times, or in little groups gathered together in one or other of the hotel bedrooms, In- troductions don't matter; the W.I. badge is a passport to friend- ship. Not only on the Conven- tion floor but also in restaurants and on the streets adjacent to the hotel. It is truly amazing the number of women you meet who know someone you know. Be- fore the first day is over you feel more than ever convinced that the W.I. is just one big, happy family, including all ages. races and creeds. But on with the show The first day, was taken up with re- ports, all of them good, with a variety programme winding up the evening session, acting as a good social ice -breaker, as dele- gates sang, laughed, listened and applauded in unison. You rarely hear a critical or dissenting voice at a W.I. convention. Thrusday, after lunch in the banquet hall, one of the In- stitute's favourite speakers ad- dressed the delegates — none other than Dr, Margaret Nix, from McGill University, Medical Faculty. Dr. Nix has the ability to shake anyone out of the dol- drums. She has a charming, vivacious and completely femi- nine personality. Years ago we used to speak of bitter medicine being sugar-coated for palata- bility. Dr. Nix doesn't use sugar- coating. She takes the stark realities of life and puts them up in humourous wrappings, Shemakes you see the absurdity of treating everyday problems as major calamities. By just talking wittily and rationally she does more in half -an -hour to disperse stress and tension than could be accomplished by ad- minstering double doses of so- called tranquillizers. She sym- bolizes a happy home life as be- ing built on a foundation of love and understanding — not de- pendent on the number of gad- gets in the individual home. Another excellent speaker was' Dr. Marion Hilliard who urged women to recognize their own limitations — as all women do not have the same capacity for work and pleasure. "Not only fretting and worrying but some- times what gives you pleasure can lead to a state of exhaus- tion," warned Dr. Hilliard. I am sure most of the women left the lecture room with a better un- derstanding of themselves — the first requisite in learning to live with ourselves. Friday morning the closing address was given by Miss Ethel Chapman, well-known and loved by W.I. members from one end of Ontario to the other. Miss Chapman; by her sympathetic understanding of farm -women and their problems has a way of penetrating to the things that really matter. Recognising the practical side of farm life she shows us howto preserve the idealism of the past — theold principles that still stand for a "satisfying" home — mentally; morally, physically and spiritu- ally. As to world tension Miss Chapman mentioned one clergy- man's reaction to Sputniks. "So what ... isn't God still in con- trol of things?" Well, I don't know how othos !people feel but that is my re- action too: 1 just can't work up any excitement over Sputnik at all. Certainly none of the .news- paper reports did anything to spoil my enjoyment of the con-. vention. Ofcoursein this column. I have only skimmed the sur- face so be sure you read all .the details in Home and . Country, especially if you are not at your next W.I. meeting to hear a full report as given by your official delegate. Bathtub Killers John George Smith, who drowned his wives by suddenly seizing their feet while they were in the bath, publicized the sinister use of this ordinary piece of household equipment. But he was by no means the first to recognize the fatal use to which a bath could be put. The ancient Romans used to commit suicide by cutting their veins and relaxing in a warm bath till they died. In 1922, police looking for a missing woman broke into a shop in Regent's Park, London, and found her body, wrapped in a sheet, laid in an empty bath. She had been shot dead some days previously. Her lover, locked in the flat above the shop with her, shot himself as the police broke in. He had been eating his meals off a board laid across the bath. The method of John Haigh, who disposed of his victim's body in an acid bath, was anti- cipated in 1925 by a Frenchman who took a lonely villa at Aix. He ordered a bath and a large quantity of sulphuric acid to be delivered. Then a man whose life was heavily insured was in- vited to the villa. He was shot, his body placed in the bath, and later the resi- due was tipped on to the gar- den. A ghastly threat was used by a German kidnapper in 1936. He snatched a small boy and sent a note to the father. The note stated that the boy would be trussed up and placed in an empty bath. The water would be turned on slowly while the ransom was being fetched. "If we get the money without any bother," said the note, "your son will only have had a bath. But if there is any delay, you will be responsible for his death." Fortunately, the youngster was traced by the police before the threat could_be carried out, and soon afterwards his kidnap- per was arrested. • Modern Etiquette by Roberta Lee Q, When is the double card for man and wife in good taste A. It is sent with wedding presents, with flowers to a funer- al, with gifts to high school col- lege graduates, or with any other gift that comes from both. It is of course, used also for formal visits. Q. Is it still considered neces- saryfor a man to ask permission to ;smoke when with a group of women he knows do not smoke? Yes, this is still the courteous. and thoughtful thing to do. Q. Does it make any difference whether one sits down from the right or left side of thechair at the dinner table? A.4 No; whichever side offers the easiest and quickest access is the one for you. Flower Planter 653 • �ti ? fi � 6N4l`'r wti • ; AO qfFA rea-P1.4 Whttaft "Flower" beauty for the walls of your homel Crochet this graceful planter in easy pine- apple design—as a lovely holder for artificial blossoms or leaves. Pattern 853: crochet directions ter planter 12x15 inches in heavy jiffy cotton. Quick to do. Send THIRTY-FIVE CENTS (stamps canot be accepted—use postal note Por safety) for this pattern to Laura Wheeler, Box 1, 123 Eighteenth St., New To- ronto, Ont.' Print plainly PAT- TERN NUMBER, your NAME and ADDRESS. Two FREE patterns as a gift to our readers—printed right in our 1957 Laura Wheeler Needle- craft Book. Dozens of other de- signs you'll want to order --easy fascinating handwork for your- self, your home, gifts, bazaar items. Send 25 cents for your copy of this book today! ISSUE 49 — 1957 "Try this delicious recipe" CHERRY -NUT SQUARES 5' cup all-purpose flour 2 tablespoons icing sugar iA cup BENSON'S or CANADA Corn Starch yy cup butter or margarine 2 eggs, slightly beaten 'Iz cup glace cherries, halved 1 cup brown sugar '/a cup chopped dates 1 cup chopped walnuts 1 tablespoon BENSON'S or CANADA Corn Starch 1 teaspoon almond extract 51FT together first threedry ingredients. CUT in or rub butter into dry ingredients. an PRESS mixture into the bottom oft an -Inc 'squareto 15 • inpan. n. BAKE In sloW oven (300°F.) until lightly browned. PLACE remaining Ingredients in a bowl. MIX well: spread over cooked mixture. RETURN to oven and bake 35 minutes in 0 325"F. oven. COOL; cut into squares. YIELD: 25 squares. For free folder of other delicious recipes, write to: Jane Ashley, Home Service Department, THE CANADA STARCH COMPANY LIMITED P.O. Box 129, Montreal, P.Q.•