HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Seaforth News, 1957-08-15, Page 6AN NE 141 T
Z/ "
' "Dear Anne Hirst: Over a
year ago when I was a widow
Ivith two small children, I mar-
ried a man who I thought was
preant for me. Matt we have a
iouog baby and I'm; still in love,
ut I am worried sick because
don'tsee how T can keep on
is way. My husband has
changed into a jealous, vindic-
tive character and he is so mean
Ito us all that I fear the worst
will happen... .
"When we were dating he was
clways pleasant to my family
itnd my friends, but since we
jnarried he says they are all `no
[Lyod; I am not allowed to visit
mother nor his, nor see my
lends at all. I cannot go to
and parties or other little of
'airs, for he declares, 'You don't
is.eed other„people, you have me!'
And what use is he? He never
takes me anywhere, he won't
ay a baby-sitter, and I miss my
airily so much that some days
have to restrain yself physi
tally from going to see them.
"Our baby does not interest
him except to show off; if he
cries his father loses his temper.
To my own children (whom he
premised to cherish) he is impa-
tient and mean; he hollers and
Often slaps them, I never had
any trouble with them before,
but now they cringe before him
and fly to me, which makes hint
furious.
"I admit he is a good provider,
but material things aren't all
there is in life: we al must have
love and understanding, and
these he withholds. He nags me
ail the time; I cart do anything
Week's Sew -thrifty
NEW PRINTED PATTERN
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---
4570
SIZES
--o"r I0-18
?RINTED PATTERN
EASY, easy -sew — it's a jiffy -
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Printed Pattern 4570: Jiffy-
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Send FORTY CENTS (stamps
cannot be accepted, use postal
note for safety) for this pattern.
Please print plainly SIZE,
NAME, ADDRESS, STYLE
NUMBER.
Send order to ANNE ADAMS,
Box 1, 123 Eighteenth St., New
Toronto, Ont,
to please him, and he even calls
me lazy!With two lively young-
sters and a baby' I can't snap
into it every time he calls. I
don't enjoy anything any more,
I amsick and tired of house-
work, and heaven help me, tired
of my children = which isn't
fair because they are so good
and sweet.
"I think I am the loneliest
wife in the world. I don't know
where to turn. I still. love my
husband, but he is destroying
that love.... How can I restore
peace between us and between
him and the children? I don't
want my marriage to fail, but
I can't ge on like this.
DISCOURAGED"
* I wish I could have printed
* all your letter.... It does seem
* that you married a man that
* you did not know. Before
* that day he was loving and
* thoughtful, kind to you and
* your children. How could you
* foresee that his kindness would
* not last? Perhaps, it*is jeal-
* ousy alone that causes his
* selfish prohibitions, and he
* feels he must put you in the
* wrong to justify himself. Your
* lffe now has become unbear-
* able, and physically and spir-
* itually you are at the end of
* your endurance. Since he is
* growing more intolerant, you
* had better announce your ul-
* timatunr,
* If your husband wants to
*keep your love, he must be
* kind and fair to you .all, He
* has separated you from your
* family and your friends; these
* he must restore. He must re-
* aline you are overworked and,
* without the incentive of ap-
* preciation or affection, you
* cannot go on. If he will not
* (or cannot) accord you the
* respect, the freedom and the
* faith you deserve, then he is
* not the man he seemed to be,
* and you cannot keep on living
* with a stranger.
* You have tried valiantly to
* live up (or down) to his auto-
* cratic demands, and you find
* it increasingly impossible. It
* is your husband who can save
* your marriage, if he ,will
* Otherwise, and for the chil-
* dren's sake too, you will have
* to take steps to end it.... I
* am sorry!
5 * *
MOTHER FAILS HER
"Dear Anne Hirst: Instead of
having trouble with a mother-
in-law, it is my own mother who
has let me down. She never
liked my hhusband and once she
separated us, but I have vowed
that shall never happen again.
Now I see her for what she is.
"When my brother and sister
refused to have her live with
them and she had nowhere to
go, we took her in. She has been
terribly hard to live with, and
I have lost all respect for her.
Now when I need her more than
ever, she has taken a stand. I am
expecting my third baby and
have no one to take care of the
others. My mother refuses to.
"My mother-in-law is dead,
but if she were here it would be
wonderful. She was so good to
all her children and their fami-
lies. Whatever shall I do?
"A THE END."
It is true that the more
* cconsiderate one is of some
* people the more they take ad-
* vantage of it . . . I hope by
* now you have found some re-
* sponsible woman to take care
* of your children. If not, won't
* your sisters step in and take
" charge?
* * *
When your life becomes im-
possible to bear, ask Anne Hirst's
opinion. She is neither an op-
portunist nor an egotist, and she
will sympathize with your situ-
ation and have some consolation
for the future. Write her at Box
1, 123 Eighteenth St., New To-
ronto, Ont.
A soap -box orator was warm-
ing up to his subject. 'Comrades,"
he cried, passionately, "make me
your leader and in all you do
I'll be behind you!"
INSOMNIA — WHAT'S THAT? — It's no problem to relax when
you're in the late two's or early three's. Holly Stafford makes
a sleeping bag of a suitcase while waiting for her plane to
depart from Idlewild Airport.
ONE OF LUCKY TEN—Mrs. Hand Fainschtein, 77, one of the 10
persons who has been given a permit to leave Russiq in the
past 10 years, is reunited with her son, Joseph, 55, after q
37 -year separation. It took I 1 years and 500 pieces of corres-
pondence were exchanged between Los Angeles and Soviet
authorities. Through an interpreter she said, "Now I want for
nothing. I feel around me the love a mother needs, I ask no
more."
Partner is one of those lucky
men who has a very fair, very
slow beard. On the farm a shave
twice a week was his average—
and he looked quite respectable
at that. Here he conceded that
every other day might be neces-
sary. But he reckoned without
our young neighbours. Yesterday,
little David, who lives next door,
came to visit us and almost at
once he said to Partner, "You
need a shave, don't you?" David
is a little fellow about five and
a half who lisps but loves to
use big words. One day he was
chattering away telling me a
big story and finished by saying,
"It is all very confuthing, isn't
it?" I quite agreed . . it was
very "confuthing". It will be
still more confuthing when our
grandson comes to stay and we
have two Davids to contend
with. Neighbour David and his
little friend Lily called one day
"selling" • paper — bank deposit
slips, one cent a piece. "If you
haven't got the money now you
can pay tomorrow!" said Lily,
'How soon they learn, these
young ones.
Last night our Toronto family
was here so my sister could see
the boys before she left us.
Eddie was in great shape, very
proud of the fact that he can
now walk, In fact he is so taken
up with walking that he almost
forgets to get into mischief. If
he does Big • Brother is generally
on hand to keep him from get-
ting hurt.
Normal, healthy children are
a great joy but I am afraid it
is only when we run across
handicapped or retarded child-
ren that we realize how thank-
ful we should be. Friends of
ours have an only child handi-
capped by being blind and dia-
betic. And now again I have
come across a similar case only
this time the child is obviously
retarded. On our first visit to
her home we found a girl in her
early twenties sitting in a rock-
ing chair hugging a big Teddy -
bear. And not far from Ginger
Farm there is another afflicted
child. a deaf-mute. However, we
have this much to be thankful
for—society at large is , finally
waking up to the fact that these
children can often be helped to
live "more normal lives if given
proper training—training that is
not always possible in the homes
of the parents. Neighbours, too,
can often help by' offering to
take charge of such a child for
an hour or two, or sometimes a
clay, so that parents may have
a little free time away from
their burden of responsibility.
It is little enough for neigh-
bour to do but it can mean a
great deal to the mother.
We had a lovely rain again
last night. Lovely, that is, for
the lawns and gardens but not
so lovely for haymaking farmers.
Last Thursday I was back to
our old home district to an In-
stitute meeting and saw plenty
of hay out in the fields. Two
neighbours told me they were
baling hay last Sunday and, be-
cause the weather had been so
"catchy" they did not feel the
least bit guilty. But, oh my, how
times have changed! A few
years ago field work on a Sun-
day was ,absolutely unthinkable.
It just wasn't done. Mercy, what
would the neighbours think!
That, I believe, is the crux of
the whole situation ... what the
neighbours think! The difference
between right and wrong is un-
changed; the difference lies in
our conception of what is right
and what is wrong, and in this
we are influenced by what other
people do or don't do. If the
neighbours bale on Sunday how
can it be right for them and
wrong for .us? By this method
of arguing it is a simple matter
to ease our conscience. And far
be it from me to say who is
right or who is wrong. But I
well remember that many times
during our farming years Part-
ner would threaten. to "finish
clearing that field tomorrow, '
even though it is Sunday." But
somehow he never did. The only
work we did on Sundays was
behind closed barn doors —
straight'ening the mow or taking
a load off the wagon as it sat on
the barn floor. We never did
take the horses to the field—they
needed their rest. To any argu-
ment I put up against Partner
working i always got the ans-
wer—"In the War when I was
with the Raiway Troops in
France we had to work on Sun-
days. The mule -teams had every
Sunday off but the men only one
in four." So, if a field must be
baled on a Sunday it rests be-
tween the farmer, the baler, and
the conscience of each. It applies
to other work too and boils down
to the same thing—"everyone
does it so why shouldn't I?" But
yet most of us are conscious of
a little nagging voice within
ourselves which says "that isn't
what you were taught as a
child". Possibly many of the
rising generation will never hear
that voice because they are be-
ing brought up in a world that
believes in open Sundays. In
suburbia lawns are cut, gardens
weeded and watered and the
car washed. Again it is a case
of other people do why shoudn't
we? I just hope that when we
pass through the Pearly Gates
we shall not be confounded by
Peter asking us sternly—"And
what did you do- on Sundays?"
BANG -ON CURE!
When police of Blantyre, Ny-
asaland, arrested a native for
being in possession of a stick of
dynamite, he solemnly explained
that it was for his sore back.
There is nothing quite so good
as a stick of dynamite for curing
a sore back if you rub it in well,
the native said,
SALLY'S SALLIES
"Ile had bad luck; stepped in
front of a car to avoid going
under a ladder."
Tragic En clog
To Love St,,;ry
For months romance had
beamed on French paratrooper
Claude Desurmont and his Bel-
gian sweetheart, Renee Messien.
When visiting his family in the
village of Leers, Claude could
see Renee's house across a 20 -
yard wide road, although that
side of the street was across the
border in the Belgian village of
Nechin. But pence Messien's
family refused to permit a mar-
riage between the young lovers
—and so last week came: the
tragic ending.
Standing.. in front of his house
on the French side, Claude, in
a frenzy of frustration, shot and
critically wounded Renee, who
appeared at her window on the
Belgian side. Renee was taken
to -a hospital, Claude to a French
jail.
The next steps in' the case
were enough to discourage' the
most optimistic promoter of
European unity:
French police claimed Desur-
mont as their prisoner, because
the shot was fired from French
territory; Belgian police dis-
agreed, saying the victim was
in Belgium when the bullet
struck her head.
French detectives could ques-
tion Desurmont and his family,
and the Belgians could interro-
gate the Messien, family—but
neither could cross the street
to complete the investiga.kon.
The French examining magis-
Crates in Lille are unable to
complete their case until they
obtain a copy of the Belgian
magistrates' findings. And to get
' a copy, they must send official
requests to (1) the French Min-
istry of Justice; (2) the French
Ministry of the Interior and (3)
the French Ministry of Foreign
Affairs (because of the inter-
national aspect of the problem).
The papers will travel an equally
complicated red -tape route in
Belgium and return through the
same channels to France.
Only then will full hearings
start, with accused and victim
sitting at either end of a table
- set midway in the street that
divided Leers*and Ndchin.
Modern
Etiquette .
s
by Roberta Lee
Q. How can a divorced woman
who is using her maiden name
include "Miss" in front of her
name when sending out her
daughter's wedding announce-
ments??
A. Really a divorced woman
with a daughter should not be
using "Miss" in front of her
nameas it leads to social com-
plications such as this one. How-
ever, in this case, she can put
"Mrs." in front of hes maiden
name, and give her daughter's
full name in the announcement.
Q. Is it proper for a man din-
ing in a restaurant with his wife
to rise when another couple
stops at their table for a few
words?
A, The man must always rise
when a woman stops at his table.
Q. Should watermelon be eat-
en with the spoon or fork?
A. Either is acceptable„ a1 -
though I should think the fork '
is more practical.
Q. I issued invitations 'recent-
ly to an informal affair in my
home, and now, because of-i11-
ness in my family, find it im-
possible to give this .affair. How
can I recaall the invitations?
A. Etiher by telephone or brief
note, explaining the 'elr .11 n-
stances and informing youi
tended guests that you will gei
in touch with them at a later:
date.
Q. When writing a personal
letter, is the date correctly pull
at the end of the message, or al
the top righthand corner?
A. Usually, in he top right-
hand corner of a long letter, big
at the end of a short note.
Q. • If a close friend of a be.
reeved family attends the fug
neral, is it necessary ter him;ti
wear black clothes?
A. No. He should however,
Wear subdued clothes, and avoid
any gay colours.
Q. My husband and I recently
attended a party given by his
niece and her husband. She in-
troduced us to her friends as
Mr. and Mrs. Donald Graves.
Shouldn't she have introduced us
as her aunt and uncle?
A. Definitely, yes.
Q, To whom should a wedding
gift be addressed?
A. Gifts sent before the wed-
ding are addressed to the bride
in her maiden name. Gifts sent
after the wedding are, of course,.
addressed to the couple.
For Baby
•
1,4
r.cau1.4Flt'6,12.4
Baby faces — and oh, the dar-
ling exxpressions these young
charmers display! Fun -to-do
embroidery as a crib -cover; or
use just 2 faces for pretty pic-
tures in anursery!
Pattern 832: Transfer of nine
baby heads, about 6x61/2. inches;
directions for crib -cover, pic-
tures.
Send TIIIRTY-FIVE CENTS. N.
(stamps cannot be accepted, us
postal note for safety) for this
pattern to Laura Wheeler, Box
1, 123 Eighteenth St., New Tor-
onto, Ont. Print plainly PAT-
TERN NUMBER, your NAME
and ADDRESS.
Two FREE Patterns as a gift
to our readers — printed right
in our NEW Laura Wheeler
Needlecroft Book for 19571 Doz-
ens of other new designs you'll
want to order — easy, fascinat-
ing handwork for yourself, your
home. Be sure to send 25 cents
for your copy of this book now
- don't miss it!
ISSUE 31 1957
RETURN FROM EUROPE - Elizabeth Taylor and her husband
Mike Todd hold hands as they arrive in New York from
Europe aboard', the :liner Liberte. They laughed when reportrs
suggested their five-month marriage. Miss Taylor is expecting'
a baby in October,