HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Seaforth News, 1957-01-03, Page 6Ity‘N 11.4.1 P ST
"Dear Anne Hirst: Practically
every column you write must stir
memories in other readers of a
similar experience. The one about
the grandmother who got m
wrong with her son's wife (and
now misses her grandchildren)
matches my, own. Don't you agree
that her uninvited 'helpfulness'
so enraged the girl that it was
the real cause for bad feeling
between herself and her hus-
band?
"Is it any wonder the young
wife forbade her children to
visit their grandmother, or that
her husband stopped going there
often? They blamed her for all
the arguments they had.
"I had the same bad time. My
husband's mother lived too close
to us for comfort. Not a day pass-
ed that she didn't drop and criti-
cize something I did: cooking,
cleaning, the way I dressed, the
friends I had. After too many
years of such abuse, I just told
her off - respectfully but she
got the idea — and I had the sur-
prise of my life. She was decent
enough to see my point, and
more, she said so I She even
brought my husband and me
close again, and advised a trip
for us while she took over the
children. I shall never forget it.
"Such a little while ago, I
hated her. Today I love her as
Sew - Easy!.
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4795 TALL
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Send oredr to Anne Adams,
123 Eighteenth St., New Toron-
to
though she belonged to me , .
It couldn't have: happened if I'
had put up with her rneddling
or if she hadn't been the' great-
hearted person she is.
HAPPY. NOW"
UNSUNG MOTHERS
* Millions of mothers are won-
* derful in-laws. They , accept
* their son's wife as a new
* daughter; they love her for her
* devotion to him and for her
* private virtues, and respect her
* as an intelligent human being
* whose life is being dedicated.
to her husband's comfort and
* content. The selfless role of
* such mothers-in-law remains
* unsung; it never reaches the
* newspapers. The only ones we
hear about are those who in-
* terfere with the lives of their
* children.
* One reason they interfere is
* a determination to see that
* their beloved son is properly
* looked after and what chit
• of a girl, they argue, knows
,F how? So in they barge with
* an armful of suggestions that
* reduce the bride to tears, if
* not rage, and light a spark of
* resentment that can flame for
* years. Even this reason, though,
* does not give the older woman
a the right to criticize the girl's
* appearance, her friends, her
* habits; such personal intrusions
* should not be permitted —
* though sometimes it takes
* months of a girl's tactful pro-
* tests to make the woman
* realize she is making a nui-
* sance of herself.
* You were brave, and wise,
* to speak up for your rights, and
* I can guess you did not until
* the situation became so crucial
* that it disturbed your husband,
* too. It is your good luck your
* mother-in-law recognized how
* wrong she had been, and had
* the grace to say so.
* It was good of you to des-
* tribe your experience. I cer-
* tainly hope it will guide other
* brides and mothers in this
* vital marriage problem.
BE FRANK
"Dear Anne Hirst; I am 19, and
for a year I've gone with a young
man whom I have come to love
deeply. We have an `understand-
ing' which may mean everything
—or nothing—Last week I heard
he'd been seen with a girl know,
and I simply cannot believe it.
Ile hasn't taken anyone else out
since we met ...
"I know he is not wealthy,
and since once he said he'd like
to marry me 'some day,' I have
been saving a good deal of my
salary so I can help him out .. .
But I hate to doubt him! What
do you think?
WORRIED SICK"
* Why not ask him point-
* blank? Say you doubt the ru-
* mous is true, but if it is, you
* will say good-bye and wish him
* all happiness. Add that you
* know a couple can grow tired
* al seeing each other often and
* regularly, so you want him to
* feel free to date anyone he
* chooses.
* Some folks cannot bear to
* see a couple happy, and they
* will go to almost any .extreme
* to destroy the friendship. Per-
* hapsone of your girl friends
* is jealous?
* * *
Wily should the words "in-law"
be an anathema to a bride? Why
can't she start out being grate-
ful that the older woman brought
up her husband to be such a
grand person? If this situation
faces you, tell Anne Hirst about
it and find how she can guide
both women to a better under-
standing. Address her at Box 1,
123 Eighteenth St., New Tor-
onto, Ont.
WAR ECHOES -iN ', NOLAND — Perhaps a hint of more drastic
things 4o come os seen in this photo of a London garageman
explaining to a would-be gasoline buyer that he has only
enough gas to, take care of his regular customers.
HE'LL CLIP 'EM — Barber Nicholas Corsino hangs a sign in •front
of his Rockland shop, announcing a "10 -dollar price to anyone
wanting an Elvis Presley -style haircut. Barbers' code says a
customers must be given any sort of haircut he wants. So
Corsino jacked up the price from the regular $1.50. So far he's
had no takers. He thinks the Presley haircut is the craziest
one yet.
I a �
3wcz,t.dol. ,t\e P. Cla,D1ke
A Happy Christmas to allthe
readers of this column. Yes,
Christmas again — and if it were
not for the calendar it would be
hard to realize that a year has
slipped away since I passed
along that same greeting before.
Each Christmas is a milestone
along the road of life. During
the winter we measure time by
speaking events as happening
"before or after Christmas". And
we have a way of comparing
one Christmas with another .
"remember — that Was our first
Christmas away from the old
home" and another "we
celebrated Christmas in our new
home that year, with the grand-
parents and our first -baby" .. .
or again — "remember how hap-
py we were three years ago be-
cause our little girl who had
been so ill had been spared to
us?" And there are sad mem-
ories too ... there is the inev-
itable feeling of loss because
some that we had dearly loved
are no longer with us. That is
the pattern of life and we have
to accept it. But, by and large,
Christmas is what we make it.
We can add to the 'regrettable
commercialism of the season by
being too lavish in our spending,
forgetting that the ten -dollar
gift, hastily chosen, cannot give
as much pleasure as a less ex-
pensive present upon which lov-
ing thought and care has been
given to the choosing.
Christmas is a time of happi-
ness and goodwill. But can we
be happy and good-tempered if
we become involved in a- mad
rush of Christmas shopping? Can
we blame the children for being
irritating and boisterous if we.
ourselves cannot take time to
talk with them quietly; to enter
into their little secret plans for
Christmas giving. How many
children are given a dollar or
two at the last minute and told
to choose something for the
grandparents? "What shall you
get? Oh, I don't know - look
around the stores — you'll likely
find, something!" Can we blame
the children if they grow up
taking little thought in either
giving or receiving? Don'twe
sometimes lose sight of the rea-
son for exchanging gifts? The
Three Wise Men brought, gifts to
the Christ -child because they
wanted to honour him and to
show their great joy at the Sa-
viour's birth. By that same
token it was originally the cus-
tom to give gifts to those we
love and in that way show our
affection, making each one feel
how glad we were to have him
with us. If we would hold to
that - principle we could then
never go very far wrong ` with
our giving. "It isn't the gift
that counts, but the thought be -
completely alone. Yes, even on.
Christmas Day. During that
quiet time Iittle grievances — if
we have any - will disappear;
tiredness will vanish; a new ap-
preciation of the good people
around us may come as quite a a.
surprise alter all. We shall find
ourselves refreshed, ready to
work •again — or talk or play
— possessed of a strange inner
peace, as if for awhile we had
walked with God, and perhaps
in some inadequate way thanked.
him for, the miracle of the Sa-
viour's birth.
Yes, there will be many things
to be thankful for at Christmas
time but perhaps the greatest of
all will be that gift to ourselves
— that short period in which
to he absolutely alone. It sounds
easy but busy wives and harassed
mothers know it is not. But do
try to give yourselves this gift
now, and every day until Christ-
mas. By the New Year it may
have become quite a helpful
habit.
Perhaps you will say "Well,
that isn't much of a Christmas
column." No doubt you are
right, especially as I still can't
thinly of a better greeting than
to say — "A Very Happy Christ-
mas to you all.
hind it." That is a trite saying,
I know, but it is also very true,
The same attempt at simplicity
might well apply to our Yule-
tide fare. Of course it wouldn't
be Christmas without the tradi-
tional dinner. But need we be
quite so lavish with our rich
food? There will be plenty of
strangers around us this year —
perhaps some in our own com-
munity. Shouldn't the spirit of
Christmas, along with practical
expressions of peace and gdkvd-
will, extend to those who have
sought refuge in our own coun-
try?
Christmas is such a wonderful
time. Twinkling coloured lights
relieve the drabness' of the
streets. Gaily trimmed Christ-
mas trees are a joy to young and
old. Greeting cards bringing
with them messages from near
and far. Do you read those
greetings? Do you stop to think
that the verse inside didn't come
to you by accident? More than
likely your friend Or relative
sent the card with that particu-
lar verse just especially for you.
A little sentimental perhaps —
but then, Christmas is a time
for sentiment. So won't you take
time to read your Christmas
cards and enjoy the nice little
verses?
Christmas — although a lovely
season — still has its drawbacks.
At home and abroad;, in the
streets and in the stores, there
is noise and excitement. We can-
not escape it entirely, nor would
we want to. But toe much is
too much. We owe it to our-
selves to plan a little time for
rest and quietness. A half-hour,
perhaps only ten minutes, to be
Modern
'tiq ette . .
GOING ... GOING
The auctioneer was a last-
minute substitute and obviously
new to the business. Sales hadn't
been going well, and the crowd
was losing interest.
Clutching the next item that
came to hand the young man an-
nounced; "What am I offered for
this beautiful bust of Robert
Burns?"
"That isn't Burns," called e
voice from the audience, "that's
Shakespeare."
"Well, the joke's on me," the
auctioneer laughed nervously.
"That just shows what I know
about the Bible."
The Panama Canal is 50.4
miles long, less than half the
length of the Suez Canal,
Q. Is it really proper to
chew gum in public places?
A. This' depends entirely
upon just what kind of a chewer
you are. If you are the nervous
kind of chewer, then it is better
if you refrain from public gum-
chewing. If, however, you can
keep gum in your mouth with-
out its being obvious to others,
there is nothing wrong with it.
Q. If a man is entertaining a
group• of friends in a restaurant
or hotel dining room, in what
order do they go to the table?
A. If the headwaiter leads
the way to the table, the host
goes first to seat his guests. The
women of the party follow, and
the men last.
Q. When eating olives, is. It
proper to put the entire olive
into the mouth, and after the
meat has been eaten, remove the
stone from the mouth?
A. No. The olive shoulfe
held in the fingers and nibbled
off the stone.
Q. H.eW" is the formal mar-
riage announcement worded?
A. Usually this way: "Mr. and
Mrs. Henry G. Harrison have
the honour to announce the mar-
riage of their. daughter, Judith
Ann, to Mr. Richard Hoyt Hayes
on Saturday, the sixteenth of
June one thousand nine hundred
and fifty-six in the City of
Montreal."
Q. When selecting mono-
grammed handkerchiefs for a
man or woman, which initial
should be selected, that of the
first or the last name?
A. For a man it is always
the last. For a woman, the last
is customary, but the first is per-
missible.
ISSUE, 51 — 1956
•
Less Than a Yard
62:3
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Pattern 623: Embroidery
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Ont. larint plainly PATTERN
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IFsTAiITzi• i'
FOR CHILDREN EVERYWHERE—Pictured above is the new U.S.
Children's Stamp of 1956, with its theme of "Friendship—the
Key to World Peace." The design shows a group of children
of the world looking toward the key of friendship. The new
three -cent, blue issue went on first sale Dec. 15, in Wash-
ington, D.C.
BR DGE TO FREEDOM BLASTED 'BY REDS—Hungarian border ,guards stand near the blasted
foundations of a bridge spanning a canal at the Austro-Hungarian border. 'The bridge had
been blown up by Soviet troops' to stem the flow of ref geesi seekinhg freethe om insAtosAus-
The Russians were reported to be placing mines along