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Home My WebLink AboutThe Clinton News Record, 1931-08-06, Page 5Uow` My.:World 1�V THE CLINTON-NEW E;OIU • By That ./ancient Mariner • DEAN D. HURMDY Sign on No. 1 Ontario- highway: "Police Puppies lot sale:" Now who -will say that the. police can't be ibooght? "M.P.'s book berths for Saturday night." And any berth an ,M.P. gets is sure to be a soft one, "Only judges could decide whowon the heat," Well, we simply don't care 'who won it ,as loop as we can feel sure eve have' lost it. Seine Ilamiltoniane tossed fund `tare at a police constable. Report --didn't say whether it was a cash or .credit transaction, but the tossers 'will get time. - • "Members of the -North York town-• ship council to ,make an aerial in- -spection of the municipality.". That's -nothing newse Lots of councils go up in the air every timethey meet. "Albino ground hog captured by "+Charles King of Hepworth, Ont." I thinka white ground hog, te probably, cleaner Than many ground write hogs We eat in a wiener,:.. More of Our Offep'rpng's Offerings 1. Jugular means_ shaped like a jug. 2. Saladin was theinventor of •Sal- ada tea -3. Somersetshrre • is noted for• the. people turning somersets.- -4. A gable is a place where people stand and gab under, %5. Taxidermy is learning to drive a taxi.' • '6. A Teuton is one who toots • his own 'horn - 7. To demonstrate is to deal with demons. • ' 8. A. confederate le one'belonging to • the feathered tribe. 9. Tactless paeans having no tacks, like hand -sewn shoes. 10. Gehenna, is a .country where the,` people dye their, finger -nails a reddish-orpn,ge color, • Tea Cup Readings This beautiful art of telling for- ;tunes by tea leaves is being revived -of Iate. And I am thankful that it has, for I know a whole tot more than I did a few days ago. Of course; it might all be lies, but you never 'can tell. ,Just now I am gping to touch wood, and perpetrate a little "watch - waiting," as our friends erose the border of those here United States , sometimes laughingly say. • Well, to continue, I gaw a sign on a restaurant the other day and it said: "Tea Cup Reading from 2 to 4." Well, I had 30 cents on tire, and that would be 2 cups at 15 eaeh, or 3 cups at 10 apiece. So I said to the girl at the desk: "I'lI take tea cup reading from 2 to 3," "What?" s he said, sorta surprised. "Cups." T replied, "Would you mind drinking them for tire? It's bad for my arthritis," ' "Bad for your granny," she said coyly. She looked like she was pass- ing sixteen for the third time. "Big strong mans like you ain't 'fraid of poor little cup •0' teas." "No savvy," 1 replied, teas.", smart- like. "Me only speakee Chinee on laundry night." I,passeti rapidly inside before she bad time to think up a quick one for that, "Te-hee! Tee -heel" I tittered at the Highland spae-wife who read the fortunes, • "Sure Mike," she retored in Gaelic, and poured out a cup. "Thou art blank," she said, potent- •ausly, peering into it. "Black art thou," I ricochetted. Black art always fascinated ire. She passed nae the cup, and I drank it like nobody's business. She gazed at the leaves in the 'bot- tom, and her face gradually assumed a baffled look. "Well, g osh,-, i; never seen nothin' "like this before;' she said, excitedly. "Now- if it had of been a crown, or a trident, or a tree,or a dagger,., or a •-donkey, or a clover Ieaf,`or a church, ora camel, or so on, I could of ex- plained it. Bet 1 am fair stickit" ' "Leanne see," I a aid, getting ex- cited too. I grabbed ,the cup ,from It sure looked queer at first. .: There was a large riven with a lot ear zigzag lightning marks over 'it, 'anti a great big pile of money near it that looked like thousands' and thous, -ands of dollars, There was a ,man 'hopping over the river, -and another man with his hands held, up in front 'of his ,head -and his face turned aside •••$s if shunning something, Then T uhderstood. • • "Look at here," I explained. "The' 'river means hydro and the lightning. electric, therefore hydro-electric'pow- "� •-er. The muiey is justoney..' The man hopping and the man shunning -form the Chinese word "'Hop -Shun' 'w'hich being translated, 'is option'! 'By cricky, I'm going to be rich, aur - ray! Flurrayl She handed me niy 10 cents back. Which was *all right with me, ,, .They 'say money breeds••money.' He Only Chewed Gum ' I went to the,talkies . , And sat with' my c hum. His greatest enjoyment }„ Wes just to chew mann 'The hero was rescued, Fierce 'rapids he'd swum. My friend didn't mind it, He only chewed Rum, Black savages; waa•red, while They beat the loud, ' My nerves were a: tingle. Myfriend .lust chewed gum, 1A lady was chased by tAn old drunken bum, •a r friend scene anth •' S d t ,riled, for a IIc':anly eliedved gum„, Some 'gangsters fought f=iercely,, .I thought J'd succumb At i•he murders galore but M- friend just chewed gum.: "Are you hardened",'I dried, `for Just merely plain" dumb `+" Ha never made 'answer, He only 'chewed gum, -Dean D. Hzumdy. TUCKERSMITH Turner's church held their annual Sunday school picnic at Jowett's Grove, l3ayfield; on Wednesday after- noon, July 29th. There were about 100 present. A good program df sports were rtm off, which resulted as fol Iows: :Boys under 5 years, , Alvin Terry- berry; girls under 5 years, Ida Terry - berry; boys over 5 years, Kenneth -Terryberry; girls over 5 years: Edna Ashton; junior .girls, under 12, Drina Garrett, Velma Ashton; . intermediate boys, Norman Pepper, Fletcher Whit - mere; girls from 12 to 16, Myrtle Ashton, Sarah Whitmore; young ladies race, Miss Reta ,Fear, ;, Miss Irene Layton. young men's race, Mr. Leslie Pepper, • Mr. Wlaiter Pepper; egg race, Mrs. V. Terryberry, Mrs. Howard' Crich; married men's race, Mi'. Harold Crich, Mr. T3erman Crich; thre4-l.egged•sate, Mistellazel Hopper and Ma Elliott Layton, Miss; Myrtle Ashton and Mr. • Wedter Pepper,; : re- lay race, ,Miss Pearl 'Pepper, "Mrs. Herman 'Crick ,Mr. Fred- Pepper; Mr Greg McGregor; hop, step- and jump, Mr. Harold Crich, Mr Warren Whit- more; girls clothes piif"race'- Irene Garrett; Erma 'Garrett; Boys' elothes 'pin race, A Iden Cri'Ch, Clifford Pep- per; teachers and officers race, Mrs. Ray Fear; 'graceful walking couples, Miss Reta Fear and Mi. Elliott Lay- ton, Miss Hazel Pepper. and Mr: Will Pepper; tire, race, Verne'Terryborry's side won; tug oft war, Alden .Crch's side won. , ' Tehoutdoor exercises ,gave, every. one an appetite for. the gped,things with which the ;supper. table ..was supplied. Miss -Ida Bali is holidaying with her parents, Mr. and 'Mrs. .T. E. Ball. ,. Mr. and Mrs J: T.' Appleton visited' with' the former's'cousin; 'Naas. Fred' Pepper. GODERICI[ TOWNSHIP Misses Margaret, Kathleen, Betty and Master Ted Middleton- haye re- turned from God -Mach after spend- ing a couple of 'weeks with their aunt Miss G. Stewart and grandmother, Mrs. James Johnston. Mr. and Mrs. Williant Rattenburee and Mr. and Mrs. Roes Scott and fainly of Brucefield Visited Sunday last with Mr. and Mrs, Robt. Pear- 801, Joo Weir has been visiting his cousin, Robert Welsh of the Hayfield line. Joyce Gardiner is spending 'some of her holidays at the home of her aunt Mrs. John Beacom. - l9liss Constance Cluff has returned home after a few days, visit with her grand mother, Mrs. John Cluff of Clinton. Mr. and Mrs. Harold Whitmore and Miss ' Mary of Hamilton are spending their vacation 'with the fornier's parents and other relatives in the vicinity, Miss Thompson of New York and her brother, Robert, of Toronto vis- ited their aunt, Mr§: Henry Murphy Over the week -end. Master Alfred Bottler is spending his vacation with his cousin, Kath- erine Scotehmere of Kitchener, Miss Evelyn McCartney • of De- troit visited her brother, M. McCart- ney on Monday. Mr, 'and 'Mrs.' J, "Carson and fain- fly of London Visited Mr. H. J„and Robert Thompson for the week -end Master Hilly' and Misses Betty an Lulu remained over for a short hell day. Miss. Moore of Forest visited Mise Grace Churchill over the eweek-end. Master Everett Lobb of Clinton is 'spending his. holidays with his gland - parents, Mr, .and Mfrs. Robert pear- Soli. Mr, L, :Biggins and wife came up Hem Stratford for the holiday. Council Meeting: Council met in Hoinmesville on Tuesday last, • Mon- day being a holiday; minutes of last read and adopted. Theo Goderich Fair Board wrote thanking the Council for their (lone-. .tion to the fair. • , . The most important item of busi- ness 'was .setting the rate of. taxa- tion for • the ,present year;• tie Cpunty having reduced :their rate one half mill enabled the Council to re- duce a similar amount making. the. - County 88-10, the Township was also pared 82-10 bringing it down to the. even 4 mill; the 'rate for general school remaining the same as before :viz, 4 mills all the schools were on time this year with their requisitions All the rates were embodied in the• by-law, owing to 'a very slight tech- Meal oversight or error •last year this was omitted but will be cors rected! this year by 'collecting `ryes unpaids'in 1930.' By-law, No. 6 authorizing' the a- bove rates was read 'a third time and passe('., . Mr. L. L. Knox, town cleric of Goderieh .wrote re fire fighting ap- paratus leaving town unlet arrange; rents were made previously was read and fyled, The 'following accounts i were or- dered paid; Proctor Palmer, sheep claire, $6.00; McPherson and Making account, 944,50; Supt. pay .voucher No, 9, $97,60; Temporary loan to. Telephone system, $350,00, • Council -then • adjourned to meet on Monday, Sent, 7th, at. 1,30 pan. —R. G,• Thompson,. Clerk. A -SMILE A smile is like -a little wedge • Thatoften keeps us from the edge' ' r7 Of, getting sad, or feeling 'blue— T dove to see a smile, don't you? • COI/BORNE All ex -pupils of Nile Unien`SchooI will 'hold • their anneal picnic at Her - hour Park; • Goderich on August 8th: All Old Boys' and the; Old Girls are invited and kindly,geziemher August 8th instead of •August; lst or first Saturday 'pf . August' as': in former .years.” The Weatherman has favoured us with cold weather -this past week which is much better for grain to 'fill out, Some here have -begun to thresh their wheat, Clark Bios. and Robert. Scott are both out with, threshing outfits. A hail storm in the wee hours 'of July 22nd was rather a sur- prise to those on east end of our township, Bail as , big as cherries were still to be found at daybreak, Not a groat' deal of damagewas,. done, however, A •paling son was born to Mr. and Mrs. Chester Fg as ae an last week. Rev. Mr. Patton has taken his va- cation for a month rafter making pastoral calls on United and.,1'resby- terian worshippers -before leaving, Rev. Mr. MeIllroy of Heilman spoke to the Presbyterian congrega- tion at time hall on July 26th. On August 2nd we 'have Rev. Mr. Koine of. Seaforth. Mr. - and Mrs -Acheson and Mr, and alae. Wilbur of. Harris- ton formed a duet accompanied by Mrs. Melvzlle' Tyndall' • rendered' an. anthem - •• Ilf , and grit Ellwyn'leutledge and Mr. and fare. Fred Schwante and•fam- ily of Detroit are here visiting their' relatives here, - ,We are sorry to report that Mr, 11, M,' Young is Quite 'atria at' time of writing :