HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Clinton News Record, 1933-03-09, Page 3THURS., MARCH 9, 1933
THE CLINTON NEWS -RECORD
PAGE 3
PKING4NEWS
4J-lu.:flClar'
Designs of : a crest for the Canadian
Commonwealth '' Federation are re-
quested. We would suggest a mon-
key -wrench rampant in the, cylinders.
of the .old party machines.
The movement for home rule ' for
Scotland is spreading says Sir Her-
bert Samuel. The first thing we
know they will be demanding the
same for England, which will be
rather hard on the prime minister
and other ambitious Scots,
We have been • buying so much
more from the United States than
they were buying from us that it is
about time they offered to recipro-
cate. •
In spite, perhaps because, of hav-
ing the whole United States behind
it, the Reconstruction Finance Cor-
poration is going to make the last
estate of that country worse than the
first by pouring millions into rat -
boles, trying to keep banks afloat
and railways from receiverships, as
well as relieving cities which through
graft and extravagance have landed
themselves in debts which they can-
not or will not liquidate with their
own taxes. It is an attempt to divert
the gulf stream of federal finance
into an arctic of frozen loans, mak-
ing the atmosphere foggier and nevi.
gation more dangerous.
Will Rogers says Corbett navel
spoke an unkind word to anyone. It
is rather rough on Fitzsimmons if
what Corbett said about hint was
not unkind. As an Irish -American,
it was natural for him to dislike
Fitzsimmons, who, besides depriving
him of the championship, spoke with
.a decided cockney accent.
• osossilsossei
De Valera denounces the partition
of Ireland as the greatest of the
many crimes committeed by English
statesmen in .750 years. His memor-
ies run back to the time of Strong -
bow, and everything wrong which took
place since then he blames on Brit-
ish statesmen. They were often to
blame, no doubt, but the partition of
Ireland was an Irish partition to
which Britain assented. It war
purely an Irish agreement -. 'or dis-
agreement,
4e1E1
The people who are most clamor-
ous in the demand for leadership are
generally people who do not want to
follow.
41
The members of the Communist
party and the Labor Defense League
are in this happy position that no
government we shall, ever have will
prove satisfactory to them, and,
therefore they are assumed of life-
long careers as agitators.
. esszlimesS
The chamber of the House of Com
-
Mons might also be called the with:
drawing room.
Mustapha. Kenial orders his people
to forget God in the Arabic and wor-
ship Him in the Turkish language. It
will be noted that the preference is
Mustapha Kernel's.
Japanese armies are forbidden to
retreat under any circumstances. Thi:
would not seem to he sound military
tactics were it not for General Ar-
aki's explanation that under excep-
tional circumstances an army may
advance in a rearward direction.
ANOTHER MYTH EXPLODED
Around the corner swift he sped
.To see what he could see.
He saw a lot of things he said.
But not prosperity.
e
The New York Times points out
that every period of depression sees
a renewal of the agitation for infla-
tion. Naturally. It is only when we
are hard up for cash that we try to
negotiate notes of hand. Those who
think that all the government has to
do to relieve the situation is to issue
more bills overlook the fact that it
has been tried time and time again.
France and Austria did it after the
Napoleonic wars. Germany and Rus-
sia did it after the late war, and for
a few cents you could buy a bunch
of marks or roubles as big as a dol-
lar's worth of lettuce.
A man who was in the south at the
time of the civil war told us that he
once paid $1,100 for a suit of clothes.
It was confederate money. After
that war, the federal government is-
sued greenbacks in such quantities
that the dollar was worth at last on-
ly 35 cents. At the time of the re -
voluntarily war, the Continental con-
gress issued currency that gave rise
to an expression used even unto this
day, viz. "Not worth a continental.'
All these experiments should teach
us that there must be sufficient subs
stance behind even a government's
promissory notes, if they are to pass
at face value.
(Copywright)
What Clinton was Doing in The Gay Nineties
DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAP
CADE OF THE
From The News -Record Mar. 8th 1893
And On a Horse: 3. E. 'Blackwall
V. S. was in Goderich last Friday and
held a consultation with Dr. Clark on
a case that will probably require a
surgical aperati•on.
Our Reporter's Visit: One evening
last week a representive of The News -
Record was strolling along Huron
street. Just at Thos. Jackson's store
his ears were greeted with sounds of
music most devinely sweet. Being of
an inquisitive turn of mind he pro-
ceeded to ascertain the origin of the
melodious sound. He at last found
it proceeded from the quarters of the
25 Club. The reporter rapped at the
door and was received by the affable
president, Mr. Spauldng, who intro-
duced him to a great many young
men who were seated about reading
and smoking.... When we had set-
tled into easy chairs 'we asked what
the music which we heard meant. He
replied that the 25 Club were getting
up a minstrel show to be presented in
Clinton in April ....They sang sev-
eral pieces while the reporter was
there, Certainly the music was new
and probably the best ever heard . . .
Such being the case the date should
be borne in mind.
The First Monthly Fair: Last Wed-
nesday was red letter day for the
town of Clinton. That was the date
of the first monthly fair. Before
dinner our country friends came to
town in large numbers. In the after-
noon Albert Street was black with
people . , We noticed that 'the
occasion was a genuine fanners' day.
There was a large amount of grain
and farm produce marketed . . .
The farmers' wives marketed a good
quantity of butter and eggs. We
heard many inquiring for horned
stock but there was little or none of-
fered. There was a splended array
PENED DURING TOP i.AST BE -
OLD CENTURY?
of horseflesh , . . ,and some good
sales were made. One animal brought
$150. . . .By all means continue the
monthly fair and make it -what it
was last Wednesday- a genuine far-
mers' day. And for that matter a
profitable day for farmers' wives, too.
Town Topics: Mr. J. W. Biter will
take a trip to Manitoba this month.
Mr. J. C. Stevenson entertained the
members of the Public school board
to an oyster supper in honor 'of his
being chairman.
The Sunday school of the Ratten-
bury street Methodist church is pre-
paring a service of song, under the
direction of Mr. Sibley for ,present-
ation on Easter Sunday,
Mr. D. Cantelon will ship a quan-
tity of potatoes south this week.
The Town Council: Met Monday
night, the only -absentee being
Councilor McKenzie, Reeve McMurch-
ie reported that a car of cedar had
been received for street work, .
Dr. Shaw was appointed medical heal-
th officer, in place of Dr. Worthing-
ton, deceased.
•
Ups and Downs: Editor Irwin of
the Blyth Standard drove out to Clin-
ton on Monday and while here called
on The News -Record. His experience
"on the road", was not pleasant.
Newspaper men as a rule have a good
many ups and downs in this world.
Bro.' Irwin had his share on Monday.
In fact he said it. was "ups and downs"
the, entire distance. At times the
pony was clean "cut of sight." And
of course theeditor got there too..
Bro. Irwin returned by the light of
the sun rather than risk his life in
the horrible dungeons of the pitch -
hole journey.
• 4-`10
From The New Era, Mar, 10, 1893:
Londesboro: The oldest settlers as-
sert that this is the severest winter
they have ever seen.
Bayfield: A carnival on Tuesday
evening was largely attended. The
prizes were awarded as follows:
Lady's fancy costume, Miss,. Mary
Beattie; Boys' fancy costume, Master
Harry Falconer; Best lady skater,
Miss Maggie Beattie; Obstacle race„
Master Neil Cameron; Three mile race
Mr. Fred 1Ceminhardt.
Messrs. Frank Keegan and Jim Fer-
guson left for Cleveland oil Tuesday
last.
Notes: Rev. W. Smyth went to-
Goderich yesterday to officiate at,
the christening of an infant. When
Stationed sin Goderich some twenty
odd years ago he performed` a like
service for the child's mother.
Mr. Kennedy is replacing the horses
which were sufficated and has secur-
ed several good ones.
Mr. James Cornieh'of the Base Line
has sold a span of two-year old colts
to Thos. McMillan 'of Hullett for the
sum •of $240.
On Saturday just as"Mr. N. Robsor
was entering his ,;,house an immese
block of ice slid from the roof and
came within an ace of crushing him
beneath its weight.
A son of Mr. W. H. Cook fell from
the roof of the house the other day and
carries a severely sprained arm as a
result.
Financial: The auditors' report
for the town for the year 1892 shows
the receipts from all courses to have
been $18206,69, while the expendit-
ures was $13582.84. This is omitting
the balance on hand at the beginning
and end of the year. The assets of
the town are nearly $6,000.
Shooting: Below is the score of
those contesting in the third cup shoot
of the 'Clinton Gun Club: - Wm.
Grigg, 20; J. McMurray, 19; G. Hin-
chley, 18; C. Overbury, 14; E. Hovey,
8; G. Powell, 13; W. Foster 18; J.
Johnston, 8; E. Cantelon, 18; Hunter
7; W. Doherty, 13; T. E. Doherty,
4; J. Lee, 13 J. Spooner, 11; C. Hale,
7.
WHEN THE PRESENT CENTURY
WAS YOUNG
From The News -Record, Mar. 12th,
1908:
Capt. Rance returned on Tuesday
night from a business trip to the
state of Louisiana.
How does your sub. to The News -
Record stand?
The following constituted the hoc-
key team which played a tie game
in Hensall last Friday night: Clar-
ence Copp, Chas. Moore, W. and Beni
Johnson, Clarence Shepherd, James
Doherty and John McKenzie.
An Old Knife: Mr. Fred T. Jack-
son has been carrying the same knife
for twnety-four years and its a
good knife yet. Fred wouldn't take
-to make a long story short, lie
wouldn't sell that knife at all.
The Contract Let: There were nine
tenders for the erection of St. Jos-
eph's church, two being from local
builders, others from outside points.
The contract has been awarded to Mr.
T. McKeizie of town. The plans call
for an edifice that will be a credit
to the town as well as to the gener-
ous congregation of St. Joseph's.
The Prize Winners: The carnival
held in the rink on Thursday even-
ing passed off successfully. There
was keen competition , in the various
events, the prize winners being as
follows: Ladies' Fancy Costume,
Miss M. Cooper, Miss D. Walker;
Gents Fancy Costume, N. Davis, D.
Goodwin; ladies' comic, Miss Jean'
Morris; gents ,,comic, Robert Moore;
lady and gentleman skating togeth-
er, Miss McEwen and Herb. Alex-
ander; potato race, Ross Forrester;
J. Levy; wheel barrow race, Ross
Forrester, and Andy Wilson; Roy.
Ireland and Mat. Levy.
Wesley Church: The sixth anni-
versary of Wesley church was cele-
brated on Sunday last under the di-
rection of the pastor, Rev. Mr. Jol-
liffe.. Rev, Dr: Briggs of Toronto
was the preacher for the occasion
and was greeted by large audiences
both morning and evening. Sub-
scriptions were asked for to further
reduce the debt on the church and
the congregation responded »llost
generously by contributing over $65C
$100 of which was given by the
Ladies' Aid. The church was erect-
ed six years ago at a ocst of $17,000
and with this reduction the debt will
be only about.$800, which in anoth-
er year will be easily wiped off.
From The New Era, Mar. 12, 1908:
Mr. W. Jackson has received a
letter from the secertary of the On-
tario BowIirg Association asking
for volunteers for a team to the Old
Country this year. It is likely that
Mr. 3. W. Irwin will be the repres-
entative from Clinton.
The chairman of the finance com-
mittee of the town council expresses
the opinion that the acceptance of
the Doherty bylaw, 'whereby the
town gets '$5000 cash, will mean a
material reduction intaxes.
Gay and Joyous Winter: Clinton
has been unusually gay this winter.
The young people have had several
dances, the married ladies have giv-
en afternoon teas, many evenings
were spent at parties, which with
skating, hockey matches, country
drives, the winter • has pleasantly
slipped along and many . will regret
when the song birds 'make their lap-
pearance. The New Era is a believ-
er in healthy amusements for old and
young and we hope our citizens will
continue to enjoy themselves until
the change of weather brings other
forms of recreation.
Victor French of Wetaskiwin, son
of Mrs. French of town, has been
elected Grand Warden for- the Odd
fellows of Saskatchewan.
Back to (Town: Mr. Martin Char-
lesworth and wife, the latter a sis-
ter of the. Misses Whitely of Huron'.
street, and Harry - and Bob Charles-
worth, have come. from Grand Forks,
Dak., to Clinton and are going to re-
side here. They have done rema.rk-
ably well and are retiring'. We hope
they will always remain in Clinton.
Mr. Charlesworth was at one time
connected with the Trick mill and
will be remembered by old diners.
, (The First Showing of White Lawn
Waists". were advertised in this is-
sue and we regret that we cannot
reproduce the cuts illustrating them.
The waist was, "defined" with a ven
gence. Fact is we do not know how
the dear ladies breathed, if 'they
pinched their waists as much as is
indicated. , But perhaps they didn't.
-Ed.)
Car Markers for 1933
,Following is the allotment by the HZ201-+11Z999 .
Provincial Department of Highways
of the 1933 automobile markers.
Unlettered 1 to 500 -Toronto.
J
J1-49999 . , Toronto'
JA1- 4JC999' .. < ,Brampton
JDI-JF700 . Collingwood
Bampton•
The letters 'G, I, Q, 'M1tt and MW , JF701-JJ800 . .
are omitted throughout. JJ801-JM600 . .
A9- JM601-JR900 .
Al -A9999 . Toronto JR901-3T700 . .
3T701 -O U999. .
JV1-JV600 . .
AA1-AA130 . ' Keewatin
AA131--AA560 . . Kenora
AA561---AA960 . - Dryden
A'A961-• ,AB80 .. .... Souix Lookout
A'B81-,AC500 . Fort Francis
AC501-AF500 . Fort William
AF501-AV900 - Port Arthur
AJ901-AJ999 Schreiber
AK1--AK999 . - 'Cochrane
AL1-AL600 . Iroquois Falls
AL601 AN'600 . . .....Timmins
AN601-A0650 . Swastika
A0651-AP600 .. ....New Liskeard
AP601.-,AR850. Cobalt
AR851.--AV400 --Sault .. Sault .Ste, Marie
AV401-AV700 . Bruce Mines
AV701-.AW100 Thessalon
AW101-AW500 .. Blind River
AW501-AW900 ...Richard Landing
AW 701-AX240 . ...Gore Bay
AX241-,AX500 . Iittle Current
AX501 AX680 - Mindemoya
AX631-AX880 .. ,...Manitowaning
AX881-AY260 . Espanola
AY261-AY360 . Chapleau
AY361-'AZ999 Sudbury
B -
Bi B9999 ... Toronto
BA1-mBX800 . Ottawa
BX801-BZ999 Sudbury
c-
01-09999 . Toronto
0A1--.CA800.. Sudbury
CA801-0B400 . . ..Sturgeon Falls
CB401-CD700 North 'Bay
CD701-CE500 , . ........Powassan
CE501-CF400 , . Parry Sound
CF401-0H200 . Burk's Falls
C1 -12O1 -0H900 .........Huntsville
C1.1901-.CJ900 , Braeebridge
CJ901-0K400 .. Gravenhurst
CK401-•CK999 . Sandwich
CLI- CL999 . Amherstburg
CM1---CN999 .. ..Kingsville
C01--'OP600 . Wallaceburg
CP601-CV600 Sarnia
CV601-0X500 ... Petroilo
0X501-CZ100 Watford
CZ101-0Z999 Winton
I) --
D1 --D9999 . Toronto
DA1-DA300 . Wiarton
DA301--DB800 Kincardine
D13801-DE300 . . Walkerton
DE301-0D1-1500.. Wingham
DH501-DK850 - Goderich
DK851-DN50 .. Listowel
DN51-0P600 .. Clinton
DP601--IDS200 .. ..... Strathroy
DS261-DT400 - . Glencoe
DT401-.DY400 . .
DY401-DZ099 .
E -
E1 --•E9999.. Toronto
EA1-EE999 .. Woodstock
EFhEJ800 .. ... Tillsonburg
E'J801-E0300 .. Owen Sound
E0301-EP500 . Meaford
EP501-ER800 . Durham
ER801.--•ET800 Hanover
ET801-E W 800 . . ....... Harri stor
EW301 EZ999.. Kitchener
F-
F1 --.F9999 .. Toronto
PA1-FF800 .. Kitchener
FF801--FL800 ...............Gait
FL801 F'11x999 . Paris
FN1 ,FS500 ... Simeoe
Y5501--FT100 Fort Rowan
FT1.01--iFX500 .. ........ Dunnville
FX501--FZ999 .........Welland
H -
H1 -H9999 . Toronto
Welland'
....Niagara Falls
Fort Erie
Milton
Guelph
Orangeville
St, Thomas
Aylmer
IIA1-HC600
110601-HIK100
HK101--+HM 100
HM401-H0800
H0801-IV800
IiV801--112200
•
•
•
•
The Happy Tedium
Midland
, Orillia
Barrie
Vanleek Hill
Alexandria
Casselman
JV601-- TZ600 Cornwall
JZ601-3Z999 . Winchester
K-
K1-i1C9999 . Toronto
KA1-K'13500 - Winchester
10B501-KC600 Kemptville
K0801-KE200 . Prescott
KE201--.KJ400 . Brockville
KJ401-.KK800 . •Gananoque
K.K801-KM200 .. ....Smith's Falls
KM201-K0100 . . Perth
K0101-KP70.0 .......Carleton Place
KP701-KW300 .
KW301-KW900 .
KW901-KY400 .
Kingston
Tichborne
Arnprior
KY401-1KZ999 .. ..... , -.Renfrew
L -
L1 -+L9999 . .
LA1--LA400 . .
LA401-LC900 .
LC901 LF200
LF201-LF800 . .
LF801-LK100 .
LK101- eL200 . Tweed
LL201-LM100 . , Bancroft
L1V1101-LN999 . . .... Campbeliford
Toronto
Renfrew
Pembroke
Napanee
Tamworth
Picton
LO1-L0700 . .
L0701-1LR700 . .
Hastings
Cobourg
LR701-LS300 .. , ... ....Havelock
LS 301--.LY600 .. .... Pe tersborough
LY501-LY999 . Minden
LZ1-LZ999. Lindsay
M1 ---M3000 . , .
M3001 -M9999
MAl-MD800 . .
MD801--1ME999 .
MF1-MH200 . .
MH2O1 MJ200 . .
110201--41V1Y600 .
ML0o1-MN300 .
MN301-MN700 . .
MN701-M0999 . -
MP1-MP600 . .
MP601-11fR200 .
MR201-MR800
MR801.--1VIS400 .
MS401- .MZ293 .
N -r
N1 -N1000 . Wester
Toronto
Weston
Lindsay
Port Hope
Bowmanville
Beaverton
.-..Leaemington
....Kapuskasing
Rainy River
Mitchell
Elgin
Deseronto
Ridgetown
Dresden
In Reserve
N1001 -N3000
N3001 -.N0000
N6001 -N6800
N6801 -:N9909 Unionville
Woodbridge
Newmarket
Sutton
0-
01-0100 . Unionville
0101-06500 .. Oshawe
06601-09999 . Belleville
P --
P1 -P8700 . Belleville
P3701 -P9999., Hamilton
R -
RI -R9990 . . Hamilton
8 --
S1 --.S9999 . Hamilton
T -
T1 -T1000 . Hamilton
T1001 --.T8300 .. .... St. Catharines
T8301 -T9999 .. ....,Brantford
U-
U1 --U4300 .
'174301-U9999
V1 --,V9999 . London
W--•
W1 -.W2300 London
W2301 -W9909 Chatham
X-
X1 --X300 . Chatham
X301 -X6300. Walkerville
X6301. -X9999 ... Windsor
Y -
Y1 --Y9300 .. Windsor
Y9301-1-9999 Stratford
Z -
Z1 -.25300.., Stratford
Z530b-.Z9999
Brantford
London
(By Weare Holbrook, in The New
York Herald Tribune.)
If we don't find The Way Out, it
won't be the fault sof our economic
theorists. Judging by the number
of emancipation proclamations they
have issued during the last six
months,, their slogan must be, "An
individualexit for each American
citizen."
Although no two plans are identi-
cal, they all unite in promising
shorter working hours for the work-
er. The most conservative prophets
admit that' the eight-hour day will
soon be a thing of the past There
seems to be no doubt about that.
Thus we find ourselves, iii the
prime of life, facing the same prob-
lem as the slippered pantaloon by
the fireside. A. vista of unlimited
leisure opens before us -and what
are we going to do with it?
In Reserve
Fortunately many of us have tak-
en a little compulsory training in
nen-work already, so we are not en-
tirely unprepared. Yet even then
we did not loaf whole-hearteclly; we
hunted jobs, fidgeted around and
walked through the streets briskly
as if we really had imliortant busi-
ness on hand.
But now that it is generally a-
greed that the necessary woi'k.'of the
World can be finished up each day
by noon at the latest, what are we to
do with the rest of our time? Oh-
viously, the arts -and -crafts move-
ment is due for a boom. As a nat-
ural reaction from the speed and
efficiency 'of the machine age, we
will turn back to the simple pur-
suits of our progenitors.
We cannot all be poets, painters or
piccolo players, but any of us ca
whittle a chunk' of wood into a plaus-
ible doorstop. And if 'overproduetior
is the curse of the century, then thr
arts -and -crafts movement ought to
be its 'salvation -:for the amateur
crditssnan can work harder to pro-
duce less than any one else in crea-
tion. He can go through all the mo-
tions of running a highly mechaniz-
ed Manufacturing plant for sixteen
hod-rs a day and have nothing to
show for it in the end but a bit of
homespun fabric or
a three-legged
stool held together by wooden pegs.
Voluntary atavism is nothing new
in Ame•rica.. Almost before the star-
dy pioneers had graduated from
buck -skin breeches to "store pants,"
Henry David Thoreau began to feel
the urge to Get Away From It All,
so he retired to Walden Pond and
rolled his own lead pencils. While,
Fremont was blazing a trail across
the Rockies, the Brook Farmers
were endeavoring to escape the soft-
ening influences of New England
civilization by mixing transcenden-
talism arid turnips.
But these revolts - against mase
Manufacture were sporadic and
short-lived. Never before has an
entire 'nation had an opportunity to
devote itself deliberately to primitive
puttering, and we are likely to see
some wonderful and terrifying' cre-
ations
reations during the next few years.
Evidences of this industrial 'second
childhood .are already apparent in
East Teabone. The Business Men's
Luncheon Club -which originally
consisted of the leading banker, re-
altor, broker, automobile salesman,
insurance agent, mortician, lawyer,
doctor, hardware merchant and '
newspaper editor -now includes a
portrait painter, a rug weaver, a
bookbinder, an etcher, potter, a
wood carver, a sculptor, a cabinet-
maker, a stone mason and a shep-
herd as well. Yet the membership
has not increased; the members who
formerly were labeled according to
their respective trades and profes-
sions are classified by their avoca-
tions today. Their table talk, instead
of revolving around such abstrac-
tions as sales stimulation, customer
psychology and getting -ahead -in -the
world, is devoted to discussions of
the simple problems of manual dex-
terity.
T. Bannockburn klutz, president
of the Flatsman and Jetsam Nation-
al Bank, has set up a quilting frame
in the boardroom, and every time
the directors meet they hold an old-
fashioned quilting bee. In times like
these, says Mr. Kultz, there's noth-
ing better than a few quilt -edged
securities.
The treasurer of the East Teabone
Building and Loan Association, hav-
ing despaired of balancing his books,
has decided to bind them in hand -
tooled leather instead, and the place
is a clutter of glue pots, presses,
gold leaf and paper shavings. Al-
though an utter novice in the book-
binder's art, he has learned much
since the day he took a lame cow a-
round to the tannery in order to get
some limp leather.
The palatial headquarters of the
East Teabone Real Estate Corona-
tion reeks with the odor of damp
clay; the steel vaults, lined 'with fire-
bricks, serve as ceramic ovens, and
the hum of the potter's wheel has
replaced the clatter of typewriters -
for the officials of the corporation
have discovered a new use for their
unsalable real estate. They are
modelling it into bowls, vases and
umbrella a stands and shipping therm
to Sante Fd', New Mexico,' for the
tourist trade.
Dr. cCavv itY
, our local 1 de i
st,
who boasts that he can fill anything'
except an inside 'straight, has taken
up wood carving to while away the
leaden -footed office hours. Dr. Fen-
nifeather. has turned 'his surgical,
training' to good account by embroid-
ering guest towels in catgut. And
Judge Muddleberry no longer knits
his brow while pondering weighty
legal problems; he knits dainty an-
timacassars -for his bench instead.
But all these time-consuming 'oc-
cupations are, in a sense productive.
Though the visible results do not jus-
tify the energy involved, they are
real and tangible. They add their
bit to the ever-increasing supply for
which there is no demand. It Las••
remained for Horatio "O. Quimbush,
president of the Jot and Tittle Mort-
gage Company, to cultivate an avo-
cation which is not only absolutely
non-productive, but even destructive.
Mr. Quimbush has become a juggler.
"I started in a small way about
three years ago," he explained,
"When business was slack I used to•
sit at my desk and toss a bronze pa-
per weight from hand to band, just
for something to do. Then, as busi-
ness grew slacker, I added a tremor
andum pad and a box of Corona.
Coronas (empty), My proficiency
increased rapidly, and now I am able,
to keep an ink bottle, a telephone,
two pens and an ash tray in the air
simultaneously, while balancing a
budget on the end of my nose. If'
we had more jugglers at Washington
this country wouldn't be in the con-
dition it is today."
Unfortunately, few of us have the
skill and patience necessary for jug-
gling. But there are other non-pro-
ductive pursuits -such as watching
excavations, spinning yo-yos, niemor-
iessg the names of defeated candi-
dates for the Vice -Presidency and
marching in Communist parades -
which are open to every ambitious
young American. The present pope.
laxity of jig -saw puzzles' indicates
that as a nation we are Finding Our-
selves. They are superior to cross-
word puzzles in that they do not
clutter up the mind with useless in-
formation -and the spectacle of a
hundred million people earnestly fit-
ting scalloped bits of wood together
into a likeness of Clark Gable must
be heartening to our economic theor-
ists. Time killing Is gradually as-
suming the proportions of a whole-
sale massacre, and the modern pat,
riot cries, "I only regret that I have
but two thumbs to twiddle for my
country."
But it is difficult to teach the old-
er generation that half a loaf is bet-
ter than none. As these lines are
written Mme. Schumann-Heink is
singing in a three -a -day vaudeville.
Bernard Shaw is about to make his
debut in New York as a lecturer.
And the current newsreels depict the
ex -Kaiser at Doom, busily sawing
woodwhich proves that it's a poor
ruler that won't work both ways.
Ilemmilmmoommorwer
For 30 cents
you can telephone
about
100 miles„
by making an "any-
one" call (station -
to -station) after 8.30
P.m. See list of rates
in front of directory.
'That's great,
ill -we'll
re betiere"
"I'd give an eye-tooth to go into the
city and see that hockey game to-
motrow night," Fred said, "but we'd
never get seats."
"Why not get Bill on Long Dis-
tance?" Hilda suggested. "Perhaps
he could get you a seat today."
"By George, I'll try it," Fred agreed.
Two minutes later he had Bill on
the line. Bill not only could but
would and, what's mote, he had a
seat for Hilda too.
"I did enjoy that game,;' Hilda said
afterwards. "I'm certainly obliged
to Bill - and glad we have a
telephone."
irisin ly irsaex ermsive
fir.'_