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HomeMy WebLinkAboutClinton News-Record, 1946-07-25, Page 4PAGE FOUR' CLINTON ''..NEWS -RECORD THURSEA. jeeTer2 14G Women's in .ctinton ancifllstriciH GODERICH SUMMER SCHOOL CLOSES SUCCESSFUL YEAR ,(By E. Benson Sutter, Clinton, Registrar and Business Manager) The Silver Jubilee of Goderich Summer School ended on a very high note on .Sunday after a very sUCCOSB- fill week of camping. As usual the camp was held at the regular site north of Goderich. The annual communion service was held early Sunday morning and was in charge of the Dean, Rev Robert P. Bates, Motherwell, wrested by Rev. R. Gordon Hazlewood, Walton and Rev. W. Donald Goodger, Kirkton. The regular church eervice was under Mr. Hazlewood's direction and the speaker for the morning was Evae efeLagen, Mitchell, a student for the United Church mieistey, It was at the camp a year ago that an decided to go in to the Christian IVIMistry and it seemed most fitting indeed that he should be the speaker at this year's special cele- brations: He chose to speak on the Ten Commandments and how they dealt especially with the lives who had lived on a pinnacle at Goclerieh Summer School during the past week. He said that every one who had been there had certainly reached a new high in mountain top experiences as far as our 'Christian life was COD, earned and it was up to us to go back home and point to others the way of better living. Everyone wies had been at camp had indeed been given heavy resnoneibility in going home and worldng a bit harder for The Mestere, He closed his remarks by challenging every one listening to him to be better citizens in Christ's Kingdom. We do not want World War 111, he declared, but if we do not Work together a great deal more than We have been doing and as King George said a few years ago in his Christmas message putting our hand in the hand of Cod our position is certainly hopeless. • The dedication and presentation of certificates took place on Saturday night andethis eves- one of the peet- tiest sights seen for many a day. While taking place an aeroplane flew over and the next day it was reported at the campthat the significance was very plain in the sky. The staff lit their torches from the camp fire and then the campers lit their torches from those of the staff. They formed a huge circle and spread right across the campus. While 'there the camp fire was moved into the form of a •cross. At a signal the campers re- turned to t'he camptiee and each put his torch on the already burning Cross. This made a huge cross and when burning brightly really was a sight to behold. Mr. Hazlewood gave the dedic,ation address. Friday night the annual banquet was held. Wan McLagan presided TOT this and Rev. S. H. Brenton, Ethel, ected as toastmaster. The least to the church was proposed ay Ralph Howlett, West efontense, a student for the ministry aed replied 13y Rev. 0. D. Daniel, Ingersoll, and the toast to the camp was proposed by Aud- rey Klein, Tavistock and replied to by Rev. It, G. Hazlewood, Gifts were presented to Wire. George Simpson, Mrs. Stan Brenton, Mrs. Charles Daniel, Mrs. Gordon Hazlewood, Mrs. Leslie Collum and Miss Ruth Daniel with the presentation addrees given by the business manager, Ben- son Sutter. At the annual concert on Friday night the dean presided and a splen- did concert was given by the staff end students. This was open to the Public and a number took the oppor- tunity of being present for this oe- casion Guest artists were Miss Eileen Sutter, Clinton, who sang and , Miss Margaret Henry, London, who gave readings. For this event and else for the banqueiti Cie president of Perth Presbytery Y. P Josie Mountain, Avonbank, and the presi- dent of Huron PeesbyterY .Y P 1.1-7 Douglas . Lawless, Welton, were present. Oise of the highlights of the week Rev. C. D. Daniel, a padre in the past war who served in number of countries, overseas was in charge of the vespers each evening ..and this was one a the higblights looked for- ward to each day, Music was ars-. other highlight and this was con- ducted by Arnold L. Earl, Ethel. Each day he would give some special feat- ure on .either violin or piano and he also looked atfer the vesper music. At a camp of this nature singing is one feature which lives long in the memories of the campers. The sing- ing this year was in charge of Mrs. S. H. Brenton and Benson Shatter. Officers for the coming year are as follows: President, Rev. Robert P. Bates, Motherwell; • vice-president, Rev. Harold J. Snell, Auburn.; secre- tary -treasurer, Elwin Hall, Ethel; business manager, R. Benson Sutter, Clinton; student representatives — Perth, Audrey Klein, Tavistock, Huron, Doreen Coutts, Walton; C. E. convener—Perth, Rev, W. D. Goodger, Kirktoe, Huron, Rev. S. H. Brenton, Ethel; YPU presidents—Perth, josie Mountain, R.11, 5, St. Marys, Huron, Douglas Lawless, Walton; YPIT lead- ership training conveners — Perth, Eileen Crawford, Cromarty, Huron, 'Benson Sutter, Clinton. IVIAT5**KIDS'iST Such fun to make and just the kind of trimmings "kids" love. Smocking on little girls' dresses embroidery trims to brighten a playsuit. See them in the Simplicity Needlework Catalog e ta our nattern.counter todavl • MARTINS Phone 36 Departmental Store Clinton SIMPLICITY TRANSFER DESIGNS ARE 15c AND ?5g .."•••••0•0•10,...•••••••••1•1.044.410 ..••••11.0 SUMMER SPECIALS In Stock Again for the First' Time Since the War Hammocks of Strong Sturdy Duck in Solid Green or Blue, others in Striped Cotton. We still have a few' CANVAS PORCH CHAIRS in solid brown and in gay stripes. BALL BROS. Dealers in Hardware and Furniture WM. N. BALL •D. G. BALL Phone 361 Ambulance Service Phone 110 STORE PHONE 195 SAVE SMARTLY Make older garments "do" longer. Keep new apparel looking new. Save and look smart, with our aid. One trial will open your eyes. Send us something, start saving smartly, today. We Pay 1 Cent Each for Good Wire Suie Hangers AGENT FOR HURON LAUNDRY Gliddon's Press Shop We Press While Wait / Five Day...Service On Cleaning We Call For and DeliVer PHONE 115 Miss Ann Shaddock is •visiting 'her cousin, .Mrs. Albert Willert, .Sarnia, Mrs. E, E, Brown, Petrolia, is visit- ing her Sister, Mrs. William! Shad - dock. - Miss Lois Connell is heid'aying with her cousin, Miss. Gloria Connell; Owen Sound: . • Miss Edna Wilson, Stratford, epent the weekend with Miss Jean Farquhar. Gordon Livermore, London, spent •the weekend with Mr. and Mrs. A. D. Illeceertney. Miss F. E. Burke, St Thomas, is spending her holidays irich Miss Har- riett Ceurtice. 'Mies Sybil R. Courtice is spending this week with her sister, Miss Har- riett Courtice. • Mr. and Mrs. Dice, Toronto,: are operidieg a fbev weeks at the home of Mrs. Nickerson. Mrs, Stanley. H. Brown, Detroit, Mich:, is visiting. at the home of Mr. and Mrs. O. J. Gibeings. • . Mr and Mrs, Norman Harvey, Mil- ton, bent Sunday with the formee's mother, 'Mrs- J. Harvey town. Mr: and Mrs. Frank Layton and Mr. and Mrs. Walter Layton .spent Sunday with relatives at Meafardee, - Mr. and Mrs. A. MeClelland, Part Arthur, were .guests last week.a.t. the home of Mr. and Mrs. Feed Hanley. Miss Agnes Combe returned from oversew last week and is with hee mother, Mrs. H. B. Combe, "The Cedars." Miss Lorna Plumsteel, Toronto,' spent the weekend with her father and aunt, H. P. and Miss Emma Plumeteel. . . John Jones and daughter, Toronto, are spending a week with the -foie mer's son-in-law and daughter, Me. and MTS. W. Brock Olde: Dr. W. A. Oakes retinmed herim Monday afternoon after vacationing with his family at their summer home near Bala, Muskoka. . Dr. George '0, .Sellery, University of Wisconsin, Madison, is the guest this week of hisi sister, Mrs. A. T. Cooper, and Mr. Cooper. Mr. and Mrs John Leslie, California, formerly of Clinton, called on local friends this week. They are spending the summer at Baytfield, Mr. and Mrs. Dodds Holloway have returned to their home in Marefieldr Sask.; after visiting the former's mother, Mee, A. J. Holloway. Miss leladeleme Hawkins left Clin- ton this morning for a month's vacation trip to Lake Louise, Van- couver, B.C., and Seattle, Wash Mr. and Mrs. Kenneth Breakey, Zurich and Miss Frances, Triplet, Montreal, were guests of Mr. and Mrs. M. T. Carless last Monday. Mr. and 1VIrs. Fletcher Troop and small son Gilbert are spending their holidays with Mrs, Troop's mother, Mrs. H. B. Combe, "The Cedars." Mrs Chesney and son Earl, Ter - onto, Were weekend visitors with It P. and Miss Mime Plunasteel, Mrs. Chesney remaining for a longer visit. Misses Sbirley G. Sutter, Mary E'. Lane and A. L. Thompson, are leaders at the Junior Girls t'amp at the God- erich Summer School Site this week. Mrs. iVilliam Walker spent a few days last week with Rev. and Mts. G. G. Burton at their summer home at the Goderich 'Summer School site. MTS. E. It .Forrest, Chieago, Ill , left yesterday for Viriatton after spending a fortnight with her sister, Mrs. A. W. Baines, and Mr. and MTS. R. S Atkey. Nies Jean Vodden, returned to Tor- onto on Sunday after spending her vacation at the home of her parents, Mr. and Mrs. William Vodden, God- erich Township. ' Miss Edna MacDonald is enjoying her holidays at her home in Hullett Township. Miss Maxine Miller is relieving in the Agricultural Office during her absence. Mr. and Mrs. Stuart Ruelle and daughters Barbara and Janet, and Mr. • and Mrs. William .F. McDonald, Earmington, Mich., spent the weekend with Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Wiltse,„ Mr and Mrs. Melvin Nutt and Barbara have returned to Toronto after spending two weelte with their parents, lelies Ruth Groves accompan- ied them home for a few holidays, 'Benson Sutter returnedhome on Sunday after spending last week at Godericii Summer School • acting 'ae• registrar and business manager. Mre. Sutter also spent the weekend at the. camp. Mrs. John 'A. 'Sutter and Miss Shirley G. Sutter returnee on Satur- day night after 9, week's, visit with, the former's brother and sistee-in-, law, Mr. :and IVIrs. Fred H. Chant, Pittsfield, Mass. . Mes. E. Kennedy, Mrs. H. leitz-: shrives andMrs M. T. Cortes,. were called to Seaforth recently "owing to the serious illness of their brother, Herbert Colcoihoun. At time of writ- ing Mr. Colguboun was slightly. im- proved. ' Mr. and Mrs W. M. Aiken left Tuesday for an extended visit through the West. They eventually will arrive in Vancouver, B.C., where. they will visit the latter's 13votiter and sister-in-law, Mr, and Mrs, john Crooks. , •, Ration Coupon Due Dates 'Coupons now valid are sugar-pre- eervee 51 to 8.23, butter 3110 to 3115, meat 3140 to 3147. . Ration, book six will be distributed between; SePtember 9 and the 16th. Notice to Customers We will be Closed for ,a month from July 23 to Aug- ust 23. • Kindly plan your Appoint- ments in Consideration of this Announcement. Henri Beauty., Shop Engagements Announced Mr, and Mrs. James A. McGill an- nounce the engagement of their daughter, Helen Lillian, to Allan Christian Kelly, son of Mr, and Mrs. A. V. Kelly, of .Revelstroke, B C. The marriage to take place on August 17, ` in Wesley -Willis United Church, Clinton. Mr. and Mrs. John Turner wish to anuounce the engagement of their youngest daughter, Shirley Winona, to ,John Henry Duckworth, youngest en of Mr. and Mrs. Wallace Duck- worth, Godericle the Marriage to take piece meetly next month, The engagement is announced of Mary Joaephine, daughter of Dr. 13. C. Weir and the late Mrs. Weir, Aub- urn, to Duncan Alexander MacKay, son of Mr. and Mrs. John MacKay, Kintail, the marriage to take place August 10, 1946. The engagement is aenouncecl Isobel Laird, daughter of the late Mr.. and Mrs. Frank R. Robeetson, Toronto, to Quimby F. Hese,' Kapusk- asing, see' Of 'Mr. and Mee. Andrew P. Hese Zurich, the marriage to take place August 19. in Erskine United Church, Toronto. • The engagezneet is annoueced ' of Esther Winnifred, second daughter of 'Mee. MacMath, Goderich, and the late Samuel R. MacMath, to Ewan Clark, elder son of Mr. and Mee &Meet C. Ross, Cornwall', Ontario. The ,nriarriage will take place quietly at 'Hilinesville, early in Angust.. SHIELD; NOTES The reellar meeting of •the R. S. W. A. was- held on Tuesday .with 13 members present: lite president, Mrs. N. W. Trewareha, took the chair and carried on the business, Quilting was: order of .the day. ..One quilt was ished. ; !' All -the .former active .members of .the Red .Shield since its beginning seine six ,Qr sevdn. years ago,are esked to be emesent at a picnic to be held in the Lions Park, Seaforth, on August 6. All are to be present or have, a, representative ,eeceive their badge. Next meeting will be the last:Meet- ing of the Red 'Shield. Everybody is asked, t�be present and bring lunch. o . Happy Workers CluD Holds July Meeting The July meeting of the Happy Workers Club was held at the home of Mrs. Cliff Glazier. The meeting opened bysinging "Tell me the Old Old Story', . The club creed was then repeated, followed by the Lord's Prayer. The treasurer's and ,secret- ary's report was then given. A quilt top was donated by Mrs. Cliff Glazier PEITIICK—WAREFIELD The manse of Wesley -Willis Unit- ed Church, °Mario St., Clinton, was the scene of a quiet wedding at high noon, 'Monday, july 22, 1946 when Jean Wakefield, daughter of Me. and Mrs. Fred W. Wakefield, Conetance, became the bride of Harry Pethick, only son of Mrs. Pethiele • Seaforth, and the late George Pethick. Rev. Apdrew Lane, minister of the chureh, officiated. ' The bride was charming in eine silk jersey. with pink accessories, and she earTiecl a bouquet Of pink Brier- cliffe roses. ' The couple were unattended. F . ollowing a honeymoon trip to Niagara Falle, and other points, Mr. and IVIrs. Pethiek will' reside in Clinton. CASE,-e,,REID A wedding was solemniied at First St. Andrew's United Church, London, at noon 'Saturday,. jely 19, 1946, of Jessie Elizabeth .Pearl, daughter.; of Mr. and Mrs.. ,John T. Reid, London, to 'Abraham L. 'Case, 'Hensiill, son of the late Mi. and 1VIrs. George Case. Dr. John Y. MacKinnon officiated. • Given in marriage by. her father, She bride wore a street -length dress of blue romance 'crepe with matching bat, white shoes and- gloves to eom- plete her ensemble. Her corsage was pinkeroses and sweet peas . •The bride was attended by .her cousin, Marguerite McDonald, wear- ing midnight bee with matching hat end navy accessories). She wore a corsage of red roses. The groom was supported by J. Erie Reid, 'Mahe): of the bride. Following the ceremony,. the bridal couple end biamediate relatives at- tended a luncheon at Hotel London. For her wedding trip, the bride cbose, a •blite linen suit with white acces- sories. BALL—DURNIN Cline= Presbyterian Church was She scene of a quiet wedding on Wed- nesday, July 17, 1946, at 1 pen, when Rev. D. J. Lone united in marriage, Doris Margaret Derwin and Douglas Gorbutt Ball. The bride is the daugh- ter of Mrs. Durnin and the late A. E. Lunen, Lucknow, and the groom is She son of Mrs. Ball and the late Nel- sen Ball,Clinton. The bride was lovey in a powder blue dress with cascade front and a the home of Vers. Fred Pepper. The meeting closed by singing God Save the King. During the afternoon a quilt was gated, after winch a dainty lunch The next meeting is to be held at was served by group 1. TOWN OF CLINTON PROCLAMATION Civic Holiday Monday, August 5 Following the usual csstom, I hereby declare this date a Civic Holiday and request all citizens to observe it as such. Clinton, Ontario. July 25, .1946. A. J McMURRAY, MAYOR 30-81-b CHURCH DIRECTORY (All times Mentioned below are Daylight Saving) St. Paul's Anglican REV: R. M. P. BULTEEL, Rector Mrs:Theodore Frenalin, Organist Mrseele G. MacKinnon, Choir Leader SUNDAY, JULY 28 10 AM.—Sunday School 11 AM—Morning Service, Mr. G. Russell. No Evening Service The United Church of . Canada Cliriton United churches will worship tqgether for the summer and will be in ,Wesley -Willis United church dur- ing July REV. ANDREW LANE, Minister MTS. M. X. Agnew, Organist and Choir Leader SUNDAY, JULY 28 10 4.11. — Ontario St..Sunday School (In their own church) • 11 Aelll. 2- Morning Worship. Sermon subject—"Neutrality" ,Church School • Clinton Pentecostal • Tabernacle REV. H. T, KENDRICK, Pastor SUNDAY, JULY 28 Evangelist—C. M. Gingrich Thursday, 8 pen—Worship Service Sunday, 10 aan—Senclay School 11 ame—lelorning Worship 7 p.m.—Elvangelist 'Service Tuesday, 8 pm.—Worship service God's Word says, "The wages of sin is death; but the gifteof God is eternal life threngh Jesus 'Christ oue Lord," Romans 6;23. MY sinner friend, God loves you. Read John 30.6. Presbyterian REV. D. J. LANE, Minister Mee. Bert Boyes, Organist and Choir Leader 'SUNDAY, JULY 28 9.45 AM.—Service at Bayfield 10.30 AM.--Nunday ,School 11.15 AM.—Service at Clinton !Subject --"The Bond of Perfect- ness." Everybody Welcome Sunday School Picnic will be held at Lions Park, :Seaforth, Wednesday, July 81. Oars to leave church at 1.30 p.m. Baptist Bev-. C. C. ANDERSON, Minister Mrs. Ernest Adams, Organist Nies. W. Alisenhead; Choir Leader SITNDAY, JULY 28 Bible Sehool at 11 a.m. Elvening 'Worship at 7 The pastor will bring an Evangelistic Message Oreportimity will be given to testiey as to the way the Lord hei •led you. Some were mad became of last week's churcii' notice: Thank God for glad and mad peeple. Indifference is dangerous. Clinton Gospel Centre, (Mennonite Church) Pastor—Mr. O. CESTNICK Services being held as °Tenafly in hall above Ilawldne Hardware SUNDAY; JULY 28 7,30 Pell—Evartgelistic Services All welcome to these, services, black picture hat and, word a. corsage of red Baiarcliffe roses. She was attended by Mrs. W. G. McKinnon, Clinton, sister of the groom, as mat- ron of honour. She was attired in navy blue mesh with black accessor- ies and wore a coa•sage of white Killarney roses. Following the wedding, a reception was held at the home of the groom's mother, Rattenbury Ste W.. Later the bridal couple left on a motor trip to Manitoulin Island, the bride travel- ling in a brown .and white printed jersey with brown acceesories. On their return, they will reside in Clinton. KEDTS—REID (By our Varna Correepondent) At the home of the bride's parents; Mr and .Mrs. Feed Reid, Stanley Township, a -t eleven 'o'clock, Julyy, 20, a pretty summer wedding was sol- emnized when their' eldest daughter, Anna Margaret, became the bride of Bruce Tiplady Keys), elder son of Mr. and Mrs. Clifford Keys, Stanley Township. Rev. Reba Hern officiated. • The bride, given. in marriage by her father, entered the living room to the strains cif Lohengrin, played by Miss Rachel Johnston, who also played "I Lcve You Truly," before the eere- )110217. Mies Clara Carle Bayfield, sang very sweetly, "O. Perfect Love," dur- ing the signing of the register. The bride wore a Ewe -length .gown of white corded taffeta, featuring a low-cut neckline, with full gathered bodice, fitted waistline and a bill gathered skirt with bustle effect. She carried a cascade Imuquet of Red Briancliffe roses. She also wore the groom's gift a double strand of pearls. Her veil was of French net held by a coronet of orange blossoms. The bridesmaid,Miss Doris Reid, sister of the 'bride, wore a. floor - length gown of blue taffeta and car- ried a colonial bouquet of white olivette carnations. Little Ruth Ann Allen, niece of Die groom, was flower girl, wearing a dainty white dress with effective lace teinuning. She carried pink roses. James Keys, brother of the groom, was best men. 'Following the ceremony, dinner was served to 30 guests.. Mrs. Reid received, wearing a blue figured crepe; assisted by Mrs. Keys, who wore a sand figured crepe. They bcth wore corsages of white carnations. The waitresses were Barbara Buffett, Doris Cie.*, Mary Reid and Mrs. Roy McVittie. a. The groom's gift to the bridesmaid was a plasticbillfold, to tlie best WAVING WHEAT' BEAUTIFUL, SIGHT TO BRITISH BRIDE 1 'The waving fields of fall wheat ie the most 'beautifel sight I have nee since wining to Canada,'" were the remarks of a British war bride, Mrs. Clifford Garter, who recently arrived at Auburn from her home at Dwehot, Hampshire, England, about 35 miles from London:. e'n her comments about Canada, Mrs. Carter, formerly Irene Cox, also stated that the white bread and, the abundance of food seemed such a relief from the dark bread. and, the scarcity of food. What would be eaten here in one meal vvould have to suf- fice for two or three in England; butter being the special treat for the Sunday evening meal. No bombings were e?tperienced at her home but the fires m the nearby eities could be seen quite plainly from her home. The clothing toapon system in her countryi compelled people to purchase one good dress, thus leaving fewev less expensive. Colors are more gawdy here while in England more pastel shades prevail. As to climate everything looked greener and fresher in England be- cause of more dampness. Mrs. Carter notices the,..different weather cone ditions and the effect on her hair. Since coming here the dry weather has affected the natural wave. While visiting friends in April, 1945, she met her husband, Cpl. Clif- ford Carter, who was serving with the 48th Highlanders of Canada, youngest son of Mr. and Mrs. John Carter, Auburn. He had served in the Canadian Army for five years, taking part in the Italian campaign and being vvounded in the fighting at the Gothic Line. They were mete - Tied on August 25, 1945. Cpl. Carter returned to Canada in February, 1946. This pretty, brown -eyed British bride finds the farm life entirely neve but is determined that she will like it, and wishes she could send a few loaves of white bread to the folks across the Atlantic. She is loud in her praises of the cordial welcome she received from her Canadian moth- er, father, brother and sisters. It is her fond hope that some day she and. her husband may return to her home- land for a visit. ne man a shaving kit, to the organiet and soloist earrings and to the flower girl a puppy ornament. Mr and Mrs. Keys left on a motor trip to Tobermory and Manitoulin Island. For travelling the bride wore a blush pink tunic -style dress with brown, shortie coat. On their return they will reside on the grooms farm in Stanley Township. Guests were present from Blyth, Belgrave, Hayfield, Seaforth, God:. midi, and Caesonville, Miele 4•00.••••••••••...••10•1q11•011.0m, Lakeview Casino --Grand Bend GORDON DELAMOlgrainrid HIS ORCHESTRA DANCING NIGHTLY SUM 29, 12.05 A.M. "IN CONCERT" GORDON DELAMONT and HIS ORCHESTRA SUNDAY, JULY 28, 9 P.M. Entire Proceeds to THE EXETER LIONS CLUB Gorden, the Boys,and lovely Vina Smith have arranged an exceptionally fine programme for this Sunday Evening Conceit. SUPPORT THIS WORTHY CAUSE! Ball Game Every Wednesday Night Write or Phone THE GRAND BEND INFORMATION BUREAU They will refer you to listed vacancies amMaarllfeernerlaielm 810•40¢2111.110.0=1202SVII, Mackenzie House Hotel CLINTON PHONE 146 DINING ROOM NOW OPEN . Under New Management FULL COURSE MEALS FROM 56 CENTS UP Give your your wife a break. Tioat her to a good Home - Cooked Dinner. • You will both enjoiyi the change. W. H. Scott Lessee BREAKFAST 7 a.m. to 9 'a.m. LUNCHEON 11.30 a.m. to 2 p.m. DINNER 5.30 to 8 p.m. n Summertime Does your table need that extra something at mealtime? If so, give our baked goods a try. We Have a Fine Variety of BUNS, BREAD, CAKES and PASTRY BARTLIFF BROS. BAKERS and CONFECTIONERS PHONE 1 CLINTON erelteeeteteilereMeelieeetiettneenielteetteelernieeetoretelelereenteleteeeeeeereeteneele, UPHOLSTERING DON'T DISCARD YOUR OLD CHESTERFIELD A! UNTIL YOU: KNOW WE CAN'T HELP YOU! PHONE 4 FIRST FOR ESTIMATES ON PRICES AND COVERS • — No Obligation — Two Weeke' Se.rviee We Pick Up and Deliver All Work Guaranteed DICK THE UPHOLSTERER eenzs!