HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Brussels Post, 1954-7-21, Page 5Senseless Ritmo
Plague Royalty
Supposing you heard that the
Duke of Edinburgh had been
;imprisoned in the Tower and
was soon to be tried or high
treason, , , , Would you believe
it? Supposing you were told that
the Queen never accepted hos-
pitality from her Commonwealth
bests until officials had first in-
vestigated their. kitchens?
Supposing you heard f r om
someone "in the 'know" that the
Queen Mother was thinking of
marrying again — or that Prin
cess. Margaret was planning to
stater a convent.:
Would you believe it?
There are rumours of royalty
at their crudest and most ridicu-
lous. Yet they are just a sample
Of the lies and exaggerations
about our beloved Royal Family
That race from lip to lip or
appear in "cold print somewhere
In the world every day.
"Rumour is one of the nuis-
ances my family can't seem to
get rid of," the Duke of Windsor
once said. "Even my great-
grandmother used to com-
plain. .
om-plain.. ,
When Queen Victoria was on
the throne she was regarded as
an aloof and almost sacred
figure and it would have been
considered beneath her dignity
and constitutionally i m p r o p e r
for her to have commented on
anything said about her in the
newspapers.
A popular writer went to ex-
tremes, however, when he hint-
ed—at the time of the Crimean
War—that the Queen's husband,
th e German-born Prince Con-
sort, might be playing Russia's
game.
Public wrath exploded. Rum-
our spread so wildly that Par-
liamentary spokesmen o p e.n 1 y
accused the Prince of treason,
All London buzzed . , . and soon
huge and angry crowds gathered
at the Tower of London to
demonstrate against the Prince
Consort, under the Impression*
that he was already under lock
and key.
The Queen threatened to abdi-
cate unless such startling news-
paper attacks were brought to
an end. Her son, the Prince of
Vrales, was hooted at the races
only a few years later as the
result of the 'terrible rumour
that he had driven a married
woman mad with his attentions.
In the amazing Mordaunt
divorce case, the future Edward
VII even went into the witness
box and publicly gave the lie
to these stories. His honour was
vindicated, but it was all in vain.
mob still booed, for it didn't
telieve hint. '•
King George V was haunted
ail ids life by the Bride of Malta
story -that as a young man he
had secretly married a young
lady in Malta, and that his alli-
ance with Queen Mary was,
therefore, bigamous.
In the end a libel action was
brought and every name, date
Tough Man To Pass is. George
Bowerswrite is "always` well up
with'the'Ieaders - if not in front
of them -'bt'fhe'C.N,E. Stock-cdr'
races in Toronto,
and incident in the Malta allega-
tions was proved false. Yet some •,
people still shrugged and mut-
tered, "Where there's smoke,
there's fire,, , ."
• In reality, the sole grain of
truth behind all this commotion
was the warm affection he con-
ceived during his naval years for
his childhood friend, lovely Julie
Stoner.
Eventually Julie married the
Marquis d'Iiautpol and remained
one of the most trusted friends,
of the Royal Family.
To -day the rum o u r s that
harass the Queen and the Duke
of Edinburgh are happily of a
very different nature. Th e y
spring from warm and loyal in-
terest—yet there is a dangerof
affection degenerating into pry-
ing eagerness `to know every
detail of royalty's private life,
How would you like to open
the paper at breakfast one morn-
ing and read that you had wast-
ed a lot of public money trans-
ferring a replica naval cabin
from Clarence House to Buck-
ingham Palace?
It is small wonder if this story
annoyed the Duke of Edinburgh.
He had done nothing of the kind
and indeed hadno room remote-
ly resembling a naval cabin.
To Enter Convent?
The Queen was annoyed by a
newspaper story that Pr in c e
Charles was being brought up as
a vegetarian,
Princess Margaret, t o o, can
rarely open ,a newspaper with-
out wondering what fresh fairy
tales will be linked with her
name, embroidered w i t h the
usual set of circumstantial in-
accuracies,
The furore of rumour that
involved the departure of that
efficient royal equerry, Group -
Captain Peter Townsend, to a
post as air -attache in Brussels
is a case in point. But scarcely
less infuriating to the Palace
officials who have to cope with
incoming mail was the fantastic
report th a t Princess Margaret
was preparing to enter a con-
vent.
It happened that in a spirit of
humble dedication she had at-
tended a course of half-hour lec-
tures given by the Bishop of
Kensington. In next to no time
the post office at Buckingham
Palace was deluged with prayer
books.
a' Then there was the totally un-
true report *het thegttw�en was
gpnsidering selling B e l m o r' d 1
Castle, a ,tory that spread con-
sternation am o n g the abop-
keepers, gillies and other folk on
leegidg Op look to Balmoral
for their livelihood.
A local estate agent found
himself landed with houses he
couldn't sell; a local shopkeeper
was told the value of his busi-
ness had halved overnight—such
were the first fruits of this par-
ticular Balmoral rocket.
Ultimately the Marquess of
Aberdeen had to ask the Queen
on the public platform of Bal-
later station whether she could
deny the reports. "Most certain-
ly," she replied.
The Queen Mother's coming
visit to the States, too, had to
be prematurely disclosed because
rumour got the facts wrong. In-
vitations from all over America
were pouring . into the British
Embassy in Washington f r o m
eager hostesses who were under
the impression that the Queen
and the Duke of Edinburgh were
planning a U.S.A. tour of 8,000
miles,
The mere whisper revived a
string of ridiculous reports—last
heard during the Queen Mother's
pre-war visit to Washington and
personally denied by Mrs.
Roosevelt, There's the absurd
story that the White House was
officially requested to see that
hot water was available for the
hot-water bottles of the Ladies -
in -Waiting.
Equally silly is the report that
the Duke of Edinburgh's bed
must have its quilt turned down
L 4' E119 THE H MSTE y BETS
HIS DAILY BRUSH-OFF
From the exprfaaion on Acey's face it appears he doesn't like to
have his teeth brushed any more than many youngsters do.
But researchers at Bristol Myers LoboratarY find' hamsters are
excellent "guinea pigs" on which to test .ingrediantaldeveloped
to prevent tooth decay. Tests with hamsters speed up research,
as results can be obtained in fbur'months which ordinarily would
take two years when' using humans as test controls, "Acey"
doesn't think much of the ideo.
Acey's held quietly fora' minute, His 28 teeth get a thorough
to.,get used to being handled. brushing for two full` minutes:
an
Excess toothpaste is wiped Acey redoes the job to his own
away with cleansing tissue. satisfaction with tiny paws.
Love Makes People
DO Queer Things
Johnny Clerks iQand that hjp
girl preferred b.ii ofllei milli, 8o
he ran full -tilt at a plate -glass
window a, putahed his head
through. With his head in
atitehes and sticking plaster, he
later explained to the magis-
trates: "It's knocked some sense
into mel"
In. a similar plight, Harry
Gr'osgold climbed out on the
eighteenth floor window ledge
of a• Detroit` skyscraper and
threatened to jump unless his
girl agreed to marry him right
at one corner, while the Queen's
must be turned down at both
corners.
No. Laughing Matter
The Royal Family long since,
, grew tired of these absurdities.
Behind the scenes there have
been discussions on how best
they can be countered:. The new
•policy, has been seen, in official
denials and even quiet protests
issued by Buckingham Palace in
the case of several untrue stories
that Have angered the Queen.
Rumour is no laughing matter.
Flashed around the world, wild-
ly distorted by translation in one
country after another, it can
endanger British high standing
throughout the world, The Royal
Family is one of our greatest
assets, and those close to the
Royal couple to -day are deter-
mined to guard them from this
nuisance,
Helen Cathcart
Stop -and -go Practice -- Children in the French sector of Berlin, Germany, are learning traffic
regulations and safety at an early age. Police constructed a traffic pattern so the children can
drive their tiny cars and practise safe driving habits. The pattern includes main arteries, side
streets, traffic lights and street signs. Youngsters in authentic police uniforms direct traffic,
away. She called the tire
brigade!,
Theft Harry jumped, bouncing
neatly into a net, and was after-
wards'leavi_jy fined for a public
;i»isehie£ ' The trouble was that
by now his girl had agreed to
marry him. Bitterly, she com-
plained that the heavy fine was
deferring'; -the. hdneyinoon.
Conceding to love's . y o un g
dream, the police arranged for
the fflie'to be paid in instal-
' ments.
Then there was the case of
Willy, 1 lHaysnan,., of. { Minehead,
'Who swdre that' unless' his girl
friend returned tehim,he would
never' again have` a ;halibut. The
girl refused. Soon long ringlets
of hair were falling over his
shoulders.
After twenty-five „,years the
growth bedtime fool long to
endure. Hayman shot himself.
To bring remorse to an ex -girl
friend, a troubled Frenchman
tried to flied! neself to the lions
by stepping, in o their cage at a
Bordeaux circus. Though sav-
aged, he' escai5ed 'v ihout Iasting
harm — and all the circus folk
went tie the wedding.
A Manchester man climbed a
church spire and refused to
com e down until his wife
promised to obey him. Threats
of suicide by spurned lovers are
common. The queerest case in
police records is perhaps that of
a London girl who attempted to
gas herself, but the neighbours
shelled 'gas, Then . she took
poison and, in falling, knocked
over a heavy vase. The crash
once again brought, aid hi time,
Meanwhile, her boy friend had
jumped off Beachy Head — and
only broken his leg. In hospital
he attempted to drink corrosive
acid and he, too, received instant
medical aid. Both were charged
with attempted suicide. In the
end they were married.
HIS PASTIME
A panty motoring through
Idaho came upon a lonely sheep-
herder high lip in the mountains,
and asked him what he did to
amuse himself.
"Oh, 1 hold up motorists and
rob 'em," replied the sheep-
herder.
"But aren't you likely to be
arrested and sent to jail?"
"Nope. I do it this way. Ye
see this hairpin bend in the road?
'Well, I hold up the people right
here, and then when they go on
I duck aver the hill, take off my
mask, put on my badge, and meet
'em dawn at the bend. 'I fist
caught that fella that robbed ye,'
I sez, 'Here's yer valuables,'
There's no danger in it and it's
kinda exeitin."
Criiiiriinal Quirks
In Howell, Michigan, the bur-
glars who broke into the Arnerl-
can Legion clubhouse set a two -
gallon crack of pig hocks on the
barroom floor, then rifled the
place while the watchdog feasted.
-
,, .4, *,,.
A merchant in Dallas, Texas,
asked police to help him decipher
the signature on a worthless
check. The police did. It was,
"TI. R, Stuck."
✓ r*
The resouroefullness of the
police; is equaled Only by the
madcap behavior Of our citizens,
Recently a man in New York,
trying to pick the pocket of a
fat man asleep in a subway sta-
tion, got his hand caaght firm-
ly .when the sleeper shifted. He
was finally extricated by two
Cops.
• • •
When police in Austin, Texas,
asked a : woman, whose house
had•' been robbed, if she knew
who had done the job, they got
a straight answer. "Sure, but I
want YOu to find out."
* * *
In Pasadena, California, patrol-
man D. B. Gleason flagged down
a motorist who was weaving er-
ratically back and forth across
the highway, but let him go
when the motorist explained:
"Everything's O.K. Just shaving."
• e •
Anita Callahan tells about the
army bride looking over the
wedding presents from her hus-
band's buddies,
"It's nice to xeceive such per-
sonal gifts as these `towels with
His , and Hers embroidered on
them. But here is something
so intimate and sentimental"—
she pointed t0 an. olive drab
blanket with the - letters US
stenciled in the center.
Paul Feinman, a salesman,
bought two burglar alarms for
his home. Before he had time
to install thele, they were stolen
from .his parked automobile.
* * •
In Pittsburgh, when police
nabbed Clara Habig, they found
that her knitting bag, crammed
with jewelry, also 'contained a
neatly typewritten Christmas
shoplifting list.
• r
The helpful friend offered ad-
vice to the fugitive.
"An alibi would help you.
Anyone see you at the hour this
fellow was shot?"
The fugitive shook his head,
"Fortunately, no.'"
Salt And Thirst
There is a certain amount of
salt in all our food, and one of
the properties of salt is to draw
water from the tissues toward
the kidneys where the waste
liquids are filtered. Normally
the amount of water drawn is
not great enough to be notice-
able, butif the food we eat is
very salty, the amount of water
drawn out of the tissues by the
salt will be abnormal and the
tissues will then be lacking in
water.
Now whenever a certain part
of the body is in distress, it can
convey its need to us, as when
the gnawing sensation in our
stomachs warns us that we are
hungry. In a similar way the
tissues, whenever they lack
water, can signal their need to
the tongue and the throat which
themselves begin to feel parched
and dry. The tongue, the lining
of the mouth and throat are all
tissues too, of course, tissues in
which we become aware of the
lack of water most keenly. From
this we know not only that our
mouths are dry but that our
whole bodies are in need of
water. Nothing else seems to
quench thirst so well as water
does.
WRONG NUMBER;
A young and very pretty Cana-
dian girl who married a South
American was told by her hus-
band that his home town was
plagued with "wolves."
"They think nothing," he warn-
ed, "of going up to a girl they
fancy — she may be merely look-
ing into a shop window — and
giving her •a sly pinch. So, my
dear, don't stare into shop win-
dows when you're alone."
A few days later, he saw his
wile eyeing the windows of a
gown shop in the town, and think-
ing to press home his earlier
warning lie tip -toed up and gave
a hearty pinch,
When the girl spun round, her
eyes blazing with fury . . . it
wasn't his wife.
"As Soon se he gate tome teeth,
I'm Entre to teach hint to biter'
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Re "Makes Eyas"
For A Living
Elmer Asprion, 23 -year-old Vi-
ennese, is the youngest member
of one of the world's most un-
usual and exclusive professions.
He is Austria's only "bespoke
glass -eye blower."
With the one exception of
young Elmar, the craftsmen of
this profession are all German-
born, most of them working in
Western Germany, with a few
on the other side of the Iron
Curtain. Only four are known
to have settled abroad: two in
the U.S.A., one in Australia, and
one in Britain.
There are fewer than 60 of
these master craftsmen in the
world. It takes an apprentice
eight years of hard work before
he is able to make a perfectly
"tailored" eye on his own.
Using a simple schoolroom
Bunsen burner and a hollow
tube of specially made opaque
cryolite glass, Elmer Asprion
fashions made -to -measure glass
eyes while you wait.
They are so convincing, and
fit so well, that married one -
eyed men and women have been
known to wear them without
their wives or husbands know-
ing anything about it.
There are no rule -of -thumb
methods in this exacting profes-
sion. All measurements have to
be taken accurately, and no two
"bespoke eyes" are the same.
They are comparatively inex-
pensive. A glass eye, weighing
as little as one -thirtieth of an
ounce, takes from 30 minutes to
four hours to make and tit and
costs from $5 to $10,
In Austria, 25,000 blind or
partly blind persons, mainly ex -
Servicemen and war victims, are
entitled to bespoke eyes free of
charge.
All "bespoke blowers" use
glass as' their medium, though
plastic looks nicer and is un-
breakable, if perhaps n ort so
smooth .and comfortable to wear.
A plastic eye takes six or seven
hours to make, and costs three
times as much as an ordinary
glass eye.
When Marconi lost an eye in
a motor -car accident, he had an
artificial eye made for him by
Paul Asprion; Elmar's father.
The disability was kept a close
secret until after Marconi's death.
Nat all clients are human be-
ings, however. More often than
not "bespoke blowers" are call-
ed upon to fit doge, horses and
other favourite pets with made-
toimeasure `eyes.
"What did the cat say when .
looking at the tennis game?"
Eldred the local punster. No re-
plies forthcoming, he antWored
his own guuestiorl: "The eat
said, 'My nsother is in that
racket',
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OYP016TVNITf79s
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PATENTS
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