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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Brussels Post, 1953-1-14, Page 7INEC tVert sPoRxs COLUMN 'tote 7.0r4,4400 Old Mr. 5952 hobbled into the room, leaning heavily on his cane, for the Old 13oy was nearing the end. Ile looked at sprightly young Master 1953, nodded ap- preciatively and said: "Fine looking young ster. Seems sturdy. I;e'd better be. It will be a tough year for him." "What's so tough; pop41: queried the sprightly, youngster,. "I'm looking for a hu k old time in sport." "It'll be high, all right" repliedthe: Old Bqy with sinister emphasis. "'Everything was high in my thee, particularly prices. You're a'•comin into a high year and a big year, boy," he said. "I'm open for suggestions" said the y'ocng fellow. "What about the GreyCup"? enquired the youngster. "East is east" said. Old 1952, "The east has got too many good players for ,the west, Thele guya from the prairies are, game. i'Il give them that. They can take it. They'll spend their money, put on a great show but the teams in the east are like the ''Atlantic Ocean." "How comer. Said the youngster. "Depth, boy, depth" chortsed the Old Boy, "They git there fustest with the mostcst." "If I have my way" said the youngster firmly, "They,; play that Orey Cup as a two.ganie series in my time and give the west an even break. Or a three -game series, so everybody can get a look." "Take it easy, lad" advised the oldster. "You'll get yourself ostracized in the best Toronto social circles making cracks like that." "The Stanley Cup's not far off" said the youngster, "who do You figure for that?" The Old Man broke out with a crackling sound, raising the balance of his voice in what he meant to be song. "Pretty Little Red; Wing" he sang in a stacked and feeble voice. "That's the Stanley Cup song, boy." "Pretty awful" commented the kid. "The song, I mean, not the Sentiment. You said you figure it to be a big year in sport?" • ".Big fireside year" commented the oldster. That new gadget • they Call television, tell your friends to look out for that. Folks that were payin' their way in will be lookin' at the same show right at home, for free, Human nature is they won't pay for what they can get for nothinS" "You had a great runner in your day, this fellow Zatopek" said young Master 1953. "Think we'll get a look at him?" "Can you see through an iron curtain, boy? If you can, you can see 2atopek, He's in there. Remember the guy who saved Stalin's life?" "Why .did he?" asked the kid, artlessly. "We all make mistakes" said the oldster, as he prepared to vanish. "This guy was rewarded with any privilege he wished, so he asked the right to speak by telephone to his brother in New York. They limited him to one'word." "What was thte word?" asked the youngster. "Help 1" said the Old Boy, and vanished for keeps. Your comments and suggestions for this column will be welcomed by Elmer Ferguson, 0/o Calvert House, 431 Yonge St., Toronto, CaLvett DISTILLERS LIMITED AMHERSTDURG, ONTARIO SPORT py A SlXB1TC Just 25 years ago—come the 4th of March — a man named Pyle cut loose with one of the most highly publicized athletic events this ancient planet has ever seen. And when we tell you that Mr. Pyle was better known as "Cash -and -Carry" and that the sports event referred to was mostly' called the 'Bunion Der- by," some of you old-timers at least will recall what a crazy era that was. Some of us are *bet of 'saying that the kids of belay are a lot goofier than their parents or grandparents were — tut when we -think of./dr. Pyle getting millions of dollars worth et newspaper space with a stunt like this, we begin to have our doubts. 4 • * Dance marathons were the rage of the country. A man nam- ed Cornelius Dumber walked backwards across the country and attributed his success to the fact that he always went bare- foot. The newspapers were afraid that the indestructible underpin- nings of Jack Dempsey seemed to be giving way at last, Dr. Em- merich Stabler, visiting from Vienna, told us to stand up more, because standing up was good for the arches and what was good for the arches was good for international trade. It was the perfect moment in history for C, C. Pyle to step Toils For Hiroshima—Fashioned by Swiss craftsmen, the giant bell above will, soon be shipped io Hiroshima, Japan, where it Will be- installed in a Mission church, Children of Lucerne, "Switzerland, paid for the bell with money that they raised by holding paper sales. forth and give us the Bunion Derby, writes Sidney Carroll in a recent issue of "Pageant." * e N Pyle was a remarkable fellow —a real, honest to goodness, gen- uine 1928 man. He was the son of a Methodist minister, but his roads had led him, if anything, in direction generally supposed to be opposite from the pulpit. - He had been a prize fighter, an actor, a manager of movie houses. His name was Charles C, Pyle but he gloried in the nickname "Cash and Carry" Pyle. He was a last talker, a neat dresser, a cigar smoker and a butterfly - mustache man. He looked like a slicker in the silent movies, and he liked to act like one. "I play every year as though it were, my last," he told the world. "Le- gitimately, but with a view to squeezing every penny from every venture." He was one of the great promoters of the Twen- ties, that epoch of great promo- ters. - t a * People then were sitting on flagpoles, dancing non-stop for months at a stretch, and talking about flying across the Atlantic Ocean. But you would have to look long and hard to find a more cockeyed contribution to the -culture of the time than Pyle's .Bunion Derby. Some his- torians have seen it as one of the true climaxes of the Coolidge era, almost a symbolic thing -- that spectacle of several hun- dred- able-bodied. men plodding across the great American desert, from west to east, counter to the sun, juSt as the sunwas about to set" on the Era of Wonderful Nonsense, ' It was Mr. Pyle's conceit to run a marathon- race from Los An-- geles, to New York. It would be, opined Mr. Pyle, net only the greatest but the longest foot race its history. It would be open to one and all— entrants from Tibet, Tasmania and the Scandinavian's countries included. The winner would 'be crowned with a laurel wreath in the manner of the old times and tvitlt a bank draft for $25,000 in the ,manner of the new. Pyle called it The Great Cross -Coun- try Marathon Race, but out of a newspaper somewhere came the title "Bunion Derby," and that isthe name that stuck. e e "The race of the Centuryl" cried Ivlr. Pyle's tub -thumpers. "A thrilling Spectacle of Brawn and Endurance! A 65 -day show by the greatest runners in' the world! And all free, absolutely free, ladies and :gentlemen; 3t won't cost you a cent, and all due to the generosity of that philanthropic impresario, Cash and Carry Pyle!" How did.,,Mr, Plye figure to finance this "free" :spectaele7' in the' first place .toe estimated that thele would be about 4,0.00 .. entrants from, all eorlledrs of the globe. .•Faeh ' en 'atst Would, be re-• quirod to put up a $28 entrance fee, • Caeltrtintr, Carry had his $25,000 fief prize right "there. Seconji, ilk°"f tired .to receive $100,000 from the United States' Highway 60 'Association.' This was a brotherhood of hamlets,. towns, villages .end cities on Route 66. Each member of the association was to kick in with a sum proportionate to its popu- lation until -a kitty of $100,000 could be assembled, Such a sum, he told the brotherhood, would be returned a thousandfold. Every town along the route was bound to make a mint! Think of the thousands of hinterlanders pouring into town to see the Bunioneers pass through! Think of the profits to the local shop- keepers! Think of .the carnivals the townships could have! Think of the hot dog conceessions, a* (If any town along Highway 66 did not kick in with a contribu- tion, Plye said, he'd damn well see to it that his runners would run around the reluctant town instead of through it.) - A third source of income for Pyle would be a side show, trav- eling right along with the derby, It would contain peanuts, pop- corn, and freaks, And a box- office. Pyl'e's plan as "to run liis- boys only during the hours of daylight: He would divide them up into ,'groups, with several doz- en runners each. Each group would be released. and required to run from 40 to 60 miles a day — right up tothenext-town that had paid its part of the Iflgb. way. 66 Association fiandr Whett. all groups had reached that re- quired ,destination by' day's end, the time of the individual run- ners would' be totaled up. The man who could maintain the swiftest -average from. day to day clear across the country would be the: winner. And every night when the running had ceased, Pyle could pitch his tent and all the people for, mil-- around would ply to get in to see the well as w ll as the freaks on display, The freaks were pretty good e too, One was a real live two -headed chicken, a a e A fifth source of income for Pyle 'would be the manufactur- ers' who would supply the shoes, the .chewing gum, the running tights, the shoelaces, the sunburn lotion and, of course, She lini- ment -and pay for the privilege. e O e And a final source of income would be Mr. C. C. Pyle's own patent foot box. This was a kind of electrical box, big. enough to contain one - human' foot hilus ankle and to cure anymalady thereof you can think of. All the runners would be using it en route and once the race was over, Pyle figured, at least 100,000 Americans would be clamoring to purchase the miraculous box at the low, low price of $1 per. a 0 n Well, the derby started on schedule, on the 4th of March, 1928, from the Ascot Speedway in. Los Angeles. The participants headed straight for the 3,422.3 miles that lay between them and New York, The start of this 6,023,248 -yard dash was festive and noisy. The runners were fresh as fields of daisies, and Los Angeles waved them off to a cheery start as they galloped away for fame, money, the High- way 66 Association and C. C. Pyle's Magic Foot Box, a 5 * Only one fact dimmed the splendor of that happy day. There weren't as many runners in the race as Pyle had expected. He had hoped for 1,000. There were only 190. 4 a e But it was a good, fast field, a frisky set of runners, It included Charles Hart, a 63 -year-old mara- thon runner from England, one runner from Australia and one from Esthonia. * a 0 "This is the greatest thing 1,. have ever put over," puffed the exultant Pyle. Its possibilities are untold!" 5 5 s They rats, and they ran. They, ran through Needles, Arizona and AlbugttdYque, New Mexico.' The newspapers began to call it the Cornplastier Sweepstakes, and the Fldifoot'PestiWalAsia Pyle's Follies, They, ran ,through• Tulsa, Oklahoma afts Spt'ingfield, Mis- souri. Somebody discovered that the two -hooded chicken tvas a perfectly normal one -headed chicken with an extra head strap- pen on. Pyle found an Irish' farm- er who was ossified from -the neckdown and made hint the feature attraction of the freak • They Ml Got the Wishbone -Or so it would seern, from the pleased expressions on 'the faces of these effigies of world leaders, which are on display in'a Parisian show window. The pro- prietor wistfully constructed the display to express his, and the world's, desire for international alnity. ,From left: President-elect Dwight Eisenhower, Premier Joseph Stalin, Prime Minister Win - stop Churchill and West .Germany's president, Konrad Adenauer. show. The rumlers raced through dust and rain, sleet and slush. Then, one by one, like airplanes peeling off, they, dropped out. Cramp and blisters and petit prostration and sheer exhaustion got them. They ran through Chi- cago, On the 28th of May the sur- vivors of the incredible grind limped into New York. The won- derful thing, about it, as Dr, Johnson 'said about the perform- ing dog, was hot ]tow it was done, but that it got done.' Another Wonderful thing was the' winners -got their looney. First prize went to Andy Payne, an Indian boy from Oklahoma. Second prize of $10,000 • went to John Salo, of Passaic, New Jer- sey. Third prize of $5,000 went to Phillip 'Granville of Ontario, Canada: Fourth place was $2,500 and went to Mike, Joyce, a bar- tender from Cleveland. There were six consolation prizes of $1,000 each. It was Pyle's plan, as a grand climax to the marathon, to fill Madison Square Garden with a cheering, stamping, pay- ing throng—the final source of, revenue. for the derby en route. ex The great T"Rickard was there in person that night to present the prizes. But not even Rickard could attract the customers. In that whole vast arena there were no more than a few dozen spec- tators to see the winners receive their laurel wreaths and their money. It was a sad but suitable finale to the fiasco, for fiasco it had been—from first to last. a e Nothing had turned out the way Pyle had planned. He had figured the race would talce 64 days; it took 84. The fights and the fueds along the way among the runners, as well as the salar- ied employees, would have de- stroyed the constitution of a less- er man. The freak show had been a flop everywhere. Nob o d y would buy the Magic Foot Box. People were suing Pyle for the most unbelievable things. One plaintiff, an Illinois farther, claimed that one , runner had slaughtered one of his prize pig• lets and then digested it, raw, while running. iltzly7s Model Model -Viiia Pom- pili, above, has been named "Italy's Tot Model for 1952." The experts who judged the contest have awarded Iliria a Trip to Americo where she will spend at least a month Some lime daring 1953, • WHEN PAIN STRIKES At the first twllige of rheumatic pain— take Templeton s 1' -12 -C's. Over a mil- lion T.U.C'e used every month, for speedy relief from pain caused by rhea- matlsta, arthritis, neuralgia, lumbago cad sciatica, Why suffer needlessly/ .Keen T -It -C's on' hand, and use them bromptly. Only tsc, $1.35 at etas countess, 1442 Pyle always claimed he made money on the derby. The kindest estimates put his losses at about $75;000. He claimed that fifteen million Americans had seen his derby, That is within the realm of possibility, but it 1s no indi- cation of the gate receipts be- cause most of the, spectators saw it—just as -Pyle had. promised them for free. They had seen it simply by looking up from the plowing and taking a look. Attended His Own Funeral The telephone rang in a quiet little house- at Warmley, Bristol, and an,instant later Mrs, Alfred King was sobbing with grief. A Sympathetic hospital official had 'phoned to say her husband was dead and asked her son to make the funeral arrangements. The family went into mourn- ing. Yet, when a dauehter-in- law went to the hospital to col- lect the dead man's belongings she glanced through a glass par- tition and saw him sitting up in bed, It had been a grim case of confusion with another patient of the same surname! There was no confusion, though, - when twenty -seven- year-old G o r don Beresford Hooper recently paused to pay tribue at Kidderminster's memo- ria d noticed his own name 1 an listed among the killed. He wrote to the town clerk and recess ed a letter of apology and an offer to have his name taken oft. „ut he decided it had better stay, because it might spoil the memo- rial to have it removed! Hew would you like to wake up one morning—and read about your own death? it bocci"..! to Vesta Tilley at least twice be- fore she really died. It has hap- pened to both Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye and, like Mark Twain, they might have called the report "grossly exaggerated." In a tiny attic bedroom in Plymouth, the Dowager Lady (Sybil Constance) Auckland heard with a smile that, ac- cording to Debrett's Peerage, the official handbook, she had died in 1946. "Perhaps I ought to be dead," she said sadly, The truth is that there were two Constance Lady Aucklands. When one died abroad, the editor of bebrett decided that it must be the elder who had gone. But what of Ernest Fred Ben- nett, the Shoreham* man who walked to his own funeral? The body of a man was found dead in the river mud—and a friend who had identified it three times was convinced it was Ernest. A lot of people turned pale after the funeral when they saw him in the flesh—and it took some close police questioning to straighten the platter out. At Southend, too, a man no- ticed he had been struck off the voter's list as dead, so he pro- tested against paying rates, "7 don't think I should be asked to pay until my name is reinstated," he told the magistrates. Even the home Office announced that he had no redress until the lists - were compiled again. Pile Sufferers Get Quick Relief When the ttrh, linen and pale or sites keeps soli awake of night. drives son almost frantic by day—go to fins 'dour afore and not n parknge or Len-Oloi. See how fast this snow -while, - ttntisonite ointment dools. 11,o Mets burning, relieves itchlug, sanlhos{, nolo. You get relief In one minute by lite n•ntrit. One nephro• Lien gives loots of comfort. Set Len. Oint right new nt Any drug' store. Enough to keen sou hasps mistral weeks. anis doe. T.r"ig E 5 19511 •• • "" -hat'll you have, boys? I'sn dead! Have one on the corpse!" cried politician Jimmy Thomas, when he suffered an equally pre- mature announcement. The fam- ous Lottie Collins, too, high - kicked on the stage on the night of her first reported demise and cried; "There's life in the old dog yet!" But perhaps the neatest res- ponse came from a Jap, who read of his death in a newspaper and promptly wrote to the editor graciously admitting it. The editor was invited to the funeral and the Jap walked in a white shroud with his friends to the graveside. When' they got there, they threw the editor in—and sprinkled him with ink. asy8111' Parking Mare cuss words have probably split the air in; regard to parallel parking than any other driving Maneuver present day motorists have to perform. Each driver $gems to have his - own formula for the job. But for those who do.it'by, guess and liyi ,: - gnrn, the following may prove helpful. 'Pull' up parallel to •411e fir, ahead of the parking siisce pre-.,,, a ferably one foot and';riot 'fibre r than two feet away frOni •ft, Stop ' "" when your rear'lumper is even with his. - . , ,. • . • ..Then back slowly, swinging the steering wheel as far right as pbs- sibte. When.'ybtir" frarit 'gait' eventwith the ether car's rear burhper; straighten • your front wheels, backing slowly. As your right front wheel comes opposite the other... car's - rear wheels, start turning the steering wheel to the left. When clear of other car's rear - bumper, quickly complete turn , of your steering wheel to the left as farasit will go. Back on fn. This should align you properly. If your car is not quite. square with the curb, pull up a bit until aligned. Stop incentrespace. Follow the -instructions, add a bit of luck, and you'll find your- self right in the centre every time with no damage to curb, rubber, or the fenders on either car. iN REVERSE Robert Sherwood was button- holed on the way to a"rehearsal by a wavering gentleman, exud- ing the delicate fragrance of cheap bourbon, who demanded, "Hey, where'sh Alcoholics Ano- nymoush?" "You want to join?" asked Sherwood incredulously. "Reck, no," reared .the .other. "T want to resign." - ..Classified Advertising e. 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