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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Brussels Post, 1952-7-9, Page 3A Few Set/vies Of Irish Wit and Humor Itis}a' jedges, in common with to fat, like to air then .LatiU -tt court --sometimes with 'unexpected results, • In at rasa of alleged ldoti tg frorn a wreck • an old lotgeitorenctin,. charged with larceny•aud receiving,' 'midi' "Sure, I'm guilty, me Lord; but I (lid not. know there was any wrong in it." "I.' understand the prisoner has pleaded guilty," said the Crown Prosecutor. "lie did •not," said the Chief Baron, who was trying the ease; "he said he did not have: the animus furandi," "Indeed, are Lard, I did hot," interposed the accused, "only an cued lifebelt and a couple of oars and a small keg!" Judge Richard Adams presided over a case in which an old lady, knocked down by a pony trap at a crossing, sued the driver. A con- stable testified that some female garments hanging on a line over a wall may have scared the pony, adding: ' :. whin the pony kem round he just pricked up his ears an' he looked at thim,tand thin the wind blew them ut into all sorts of quare shapes, an' the pony, be cause he couldn't make them out at all, he tuk fright" "Yes," said Adams; "there is something about deal fn Tacitus, Omne ignotum pro magnifies)." "Your Honour has just took the words out of me mouth,' rejoined the constable, Very Interesting Case! Sergeant A. M. Sullivan, Q.C., telling these stories in his very diverting memoirs, "The Last Ser- jeant" says that the deafest judge in Ireland was said to preside M Tipperary. Meeting him one day on a rail- way platform, a barrister who used to practise in his court, asked: "Was there anything interesting in court today, Judge?" "Eh?" The question was shouted. "Oh, yes, my dear Carson. A very interesting - case. I'm not quite sure what it was exactly. I think it was a choral society—there was something about Me singers disputing about an in- strument. I think it was a harmon- ium." Actually it was an action over the price of a Singer sewing machine! Sir Francis Brady, Senior Crown "Prosecutor in Cork and County Court Judge of Tyrone, was a fine musician, fond of whistling softly in court. He was whistling an air from "Thais" when the judge, Pettier O'Brien, told hint to Bet - on with the case of an old lag. Confused by this sudden demand, he turned over the depositions of material witnesses, calling only on the tail of his team. This gave Pether his chance. "Gentlemen of the jury," he said, "you have to find the prisoner not guilty and I have to discharge him. It is a grave public scandal. There can be no doubt of the pri- soner's guilt, but, owing to the in- competence of the conduct of the prosecution, the material witnesses have not been called." Sir Francis turned with a grin to Sergeant Sullivan, who was sitting beside hint, and said: "I don't give a darn. I get my fee whether he's acquitted or convicted. Besides, a man like this fellow will start stealing again as soon as he gets out, and I'll get another_ fee to pfosecute him next sessions." Knew Every Penalty • In his early clays Serjeant. Sulli- van heard of a Miss Anthony, now 'airy *roar{p Inspires Delicate New Jewelry'. Delicate rhinestone tiara by Sa- taini fa handsome, airy and: light in reeling. 'Worn hero as a crown, it can easily became ei- ther a ,'necklace or tiara or a single strap on a`strapless gown, by bending' the wires. Unique Method of Using Twisted Wire Makes Pieces Usabie in Various Forms BY EDNA lVI7T.»g TEWEl,1tY with the look of dewdrops tretnbling on a cobweb to no only' a new idea in costume jewelry fashions, ills ideal for weal' on sheer', fragile summer dresses. Designed by Sutain, this new ,jewelry sprang from a request of the designer's 'three-year-old daughter for a "fairy ;fibra." De made It far her, and Ohm that came the notion that big girls, as well'as small, mfghti line. seen pieces. Made by band, these pieces are ,Gossamer in •effect. The .newest collection, for summer, 4gatures tiny flowers done ln• delicate motifs, There are flares to be worn with matching earrings of white daisies, blue forget -me -noes;' and yellow Week -eyed Susans. There's another special series of stylized flowers in a rainbow of opalescent pastels. The entire collection, includes glittering rhinestones, synthetic pearls, jet and porcelain beads, and all of them handledfor an airy, fragile effect, tib Because the ;;tones are hand -set on hand -twisted wires, the pieces are versatile, The tiara, for instance,' can be worn as a necklace, too, or as one strap on a strapless evening gown.' ilrldescent petals with brilliant rhinestone centers are set by hand into flexible metal wires, and shaped into earring -a, pins attd tiara -necklaces. These are Ideal for . Wear ' witla ptale- colored,- sheer scmuner dresses.. dead, who was so learned in law that she knew every penalty for technical infringement. She black- mailed the country as a common informer, lived on assaults, false intpr'isonments, libels, slanders, and so forth. After stinging the laity she turned to the clergy and made a pious "retreat" at the Abbey of Mount Melleray, telling the saintly abbot there that if she were not to become a permanent member of the hostel slie must have money with which to depart.. She would, therefore, secure a loan of £5 by leaving with the monastery five sheep she had driven up. The abbot lent her the £5. She returned in a week and repaid it— and as a token of her esteem pre- scnted him with a writ for a £200. penalty, payable to the common, informer, for that the abbot, not' being a licensed pawnbroker, had taken in pledge certain chattels, namely five sheep! Although there was, really no an -,r ewer to it, the Sergeant's brother- in-law, Maurice Healy, luckily found that site had made some -technical mistake, so that time she lost her claim. After coming to England to de:- fend e-fend Roger Casement, Sergeant Sullivan also practised at the Eng- lish Bar and was- made a Bencher and Treasurer of the Middle Tem. ple. He covers a -wide field of law experience, grave as, well. as gay, in this wise, revealing book. TA ,,"LE TALKS elate Andrews A heavy main meal should be followed by a light dessert, while a light meal calls for something a bit more substantial to follow. *' * * Once your dessert is planned, it becomes a dish apart that can be made without regard to the delicate timing of the rest of the meal: Often it can be made in the mor- ning or even the day before it is to be served. * * * Since diners prefer very simple food with which to finish a dinner and welcome a tray of cheese, nuts and as -is fruit, but most hostesses like to serve more formal desserts. These range from simple bread Pudding to elaborate baked Alaskas, and one can always be found to suit both the tastes of the diners and general over-all plan of a meal. * * * Baked Alaskas seem to many cooks the apex in dessert making, but they are not too difficult for the home cook. If you'd like to know how this delicacy is made at the Drake. Hotel in Chicago, here is the recipe: Mercy Mission' Fgtls:-A dramatic bid by'officerstand crewmen of the Canadian Pacific 'liner Empress of .Prance' to save the life of an Injured British seaman on the . freighter Roonagh Head, came to Tight when the big Empress docked at Montreal. This picture, taken by third officer Alan Shard,. shows the liner's emergency boat battling heavy seas to reach the injured man who fell from the ship's mast in mid-Atlantic on Friday. The mercy mission failed when the liners doctor, K, W. Beamont, went aboard and decided that the injured seaman who had a fractured skull could not be moved. He died later. The seaman was buried at sea. BAKED ALASKA Sponge, white or chocolate cake, 31 to 1 inch high 1 cupful white of eggs 2 cups granulated sugar Ice cream Beat eggs until firm, adding sugar gradually until it is ab- sorbed and the mixture is firm. Trine edges of uniced cake and place on it a brick of bulk ice cream about 214 to 4 inches high. Shape ice cream in mound or brick form to suit taste or occasion, in same outline as cake. Cover ice cream and cake with meringue (decora- tions of meringue can be applied with pastry tube). Bake at 500° F. Remove cake when meringue has touch of light golden brown (3 minutes or less). * * * A fruit pudding that combines either fresh or canned pears or peaches with a quickly made pack- age pudding is Pear Ambrosia, PEAR AMBROSIA 1 package vanilla pudding mix 2 cups milk cup strawberry or cherry jam 2 cup diced fresh or canned pears 1 cup ready -to -eat bran cup brown sugar 2 tablespoons butter or gargarine. 1 teaspoon cinnamon Prepare pudding according to package directions; cool. Put 1 tablespoon jam in bottom of each sherbet glass (you'll need six ,glasses,) Add spoonful of pears and cover with vanilla pudding. Heat bran, brown sugar and cin- namon in heavy frying pan until sugar is melted, stirring constantly,' Remove from heat. Sprinkle bran mixture over puddings just before serving. Top with sweetened whipped cream. Another fruit pudding that is welcome in the spring is a cake -like rhr;tarb dessert, Bake it in an 8 - inch square pan or in individual custard cups. Serve it warm with heavy cream. * * * RRIJBARB PUDDING 2 cups rhubarb cut in 1 -inch pieces (% pound) 1 orange, cut in small pieces s/ cup sugar 1 cup sifted flour 1r/ teaspoons baling powder % teaspoon salt 34 cup shortening cup sugar 1 egg rely teaspoon vanilla % cup milk Combine rhubarb, orange and cup sugar. Divide mixture evenly into 6 greased custard cups (or pour into greased pan). Sift to- gether flour, baking powder and salt. Cream together shortening and YE cup sugar; add egg and beat well, Add vanilla to milk. Add to creamed mixture alternately with floor mixture. Stir until smooth. Drop batter in rhubarb mixture almost filling custard cups. Bake at 375° F. for 30 minutes. Unmold so the rhubarb is on top. Everyone likes strawberry short- cake when berry season comes Kitty's Crossed -up — "Snowball " the cross-eyed cat, is a feline rarity, but she's not complain- ing. She can't see well enough to chase mice, and doesn't hear so well, but her mistress, Mrs. Elsie Ward sees that kitty wants for nothing, and Snowball Is looking forward to nine easy lives. around, and here is an extra de luxe one that makes a special treat for your fancily. Ladle big, red sweet- ened berries generously over this melt -in -your -mouth cake, then pile whipped cream on top, PECAN SHORTCAKE 2 cups sifted dour cup shortening 3 teaspoons baking powder teaspoon salt 3 tablespoons sugar 1 egg • cup milk • cup broken pecan meats Sift together flour, baking pow- der, sugar and salt. Cut .in short- ening until mixture is consistency of cornmeal. Combine well the egg and milk and add to flour mixture. Add pecans. Stir only enough to form soft dough, Turn onto lightly floured board, Knead six times. Roll to X -inch thickness. Cut into 12 biscuits about 3 inches wide. Put one biscuit on top of another to form six double -deck shortcakes. Bake at 450° F. about 12 minutes. Serve trot or cold whichever you like with strawberries, between and on top of shortcake. Choose Stockings With Real Care Did Sota know that stockings ac- tually can create an illusion of width or slenderness? It's true, though, so before you buy another pair, study your legs carefully in a full length mirror. If you feel they are on the heavy side, always choose stockings with a darkened seam, sad always keep your seams straight. If your legs are heavy, select deep color tones. ,Think of your stocking shades as you do your make-up. Dark disguises; tight emphasizes, so leave those pale and bright col- ors to thegirls with thin legs. A boon for legs lacking in curves are seamless stockings. They defi- nitely will make your legs look more 'rounded and yon don't have to worry shout wandering seams. Don't overlook the feels of your stockings, either. If you have thick ankles, your stocking heels should have a definite line to then, and if you like a design. Marrow ankles look best in stocking with- out a heel line. Dort have any illmi,ncs abont your legs. but see that they create a favorable illusion for others. He Cracks Safes As An Honest Living The 'phone bell rings in a North London ollice and an athletic -look- ing man in a roll-top sweater lis- tens while a Hatton Garden jewel merchant explains that he can't open his safe because of some trouble with the combination lock. The expert safe -opener in the sweatergoes round at once. He has 'been on this work for thirty years and has opened hundreds of safes, even obscure foreign makes. His skill lies in bis knowledge, not in any secret tricks. He gets to work — alone How he opens it is his secret. He, is as expert as any burglar. Safe makers employ sten like him- self to test prototype safes. They can use any tools, any methods, and if they force the safe within a time which is practicable for a burglar, that safe is never put on the market. Over tete years safe -makers have waged a relentless war against the cracksnten, but today, the victory seems to lie with the safe -makers. The modern safe with its keyless combinations and time -locks has a secret alloy which is proof against the blowpipe. If a burglar burns through the outer skin with an arc or oxy-acetylene jet, this alloy forms a crust which the hottest flame cannot melt and which will turn the edge of any cutting tool. Explosives bring further locking devices into action. Poison Gas Defence In the U.S.A. vaults big enough to hold all the gold and silver stock in the country have been built at Fort Knox, and death by poison gas lurks under the outer skin of the giant steel doors. The Federal Reserve vaults in New York City are protected by a wall of water which would drown anyone who tried to bore his way in. Several financial houses in Chicago leave camouflaged machine-gun nests with marksmen always on duty. Even country banks in America have push-button apparatus which at once closes all the doors and sounds the alarm at the nearest police station. In Great Britain safes are so well made and their locks so cunningly constructed that if an owner finds he can't unlock his safe in the nor- mal way he bas to call in profes- sional aid. One expert was called in a great hurry to free a man who had been trapped in a strong -room, but when he got there at breakneck speed and forced open the door no one was inside, The owner coolly ex- plained: "We thought that story was the best way to get you here quickly." It can be a very serious matter to get locked in a strong -room. As a safety precaution some strong- rooms have a glass -panelled cabin- et in which a red light is always glowing. A notice reads: "Break the glass if you are accidentally locked in" Inside the cabinet is a push-button which rings au` alarm bell outside, and a 'phone commu- nicating with the office. Sometimes there is a second notice: "The door will soon be opened. Keep cool!" These experts who open safes and' strong -rooms sometimes ?tare, queer adYeaturr•es: One a. them. was asked to open . ai • locked eia i which an eccentric old. lady had.'`c bought in an auction sale, When it was opened it was found to ain't tap ,a set +3f antigjte silver worth over 4400: The old lady was de lighted and tipped the expert half`. crown!.e Another :bad. to. open a safe which belonged. le a man, recent- ly deceased, who was thought to be it miser with a great .store of wealth hidden away in some secret place, J13s relatives trod high hopes, but, when the safe was opened, all it contained were a great many un- paid bilis and some bad pastry. A gruesome - discovery awaited another expert who on opening a deceased professor's safe was greeted by a grinning skeleton. It turned out that the owner had been an anthropologist who had travelled in Africa and brought home this skeleton of Primitive Man. Night -Club Raids Safe -openers are occasionally called in to help Scotland Yard. Some of the most exciting work has been opening safes in night- clubs which the police suspected were concealing dope or gambling equipment, and safes in foreign embassies during war. Equally striking is the way mod- ern safes have defeated burglars In the last few years. One gang spent an entire weekend trying to force a small safe belongingwo a West - end jeweller and containing about $350,000 worth of gems. Not only did they fail to crack it, but in disgust they left behind them all their equipment which must have been worth $350. Another burglar left a note of congratulation addressed to the firm which had made the safe he could not crack, and ended with the words: "If it is any interest to you, I have now bought my- self a share in a nice paying little coffee -stall, Looking after that is the only nightwork I am going in for in future." Worked Two Ways The popular doctor and ncedicaI columnist, Logan Clendening, once complained to a professional friend at his club that he could never go out for a social evening without being cornered by someone seek- ing advice for an ailment. "Just last night, for instance," he said, "I went to a friend's for dinner. One of the guest took me aside for a confidential talk and wouldn't let me go until I had given her a complete diagnosis and a prescription,' You know what I did this morning? Sent her a bill for professional services rendered." Then a flicker of doubt came into his eyes, "You're a lawyer. Tell me was I legally justified?" "Yes, you were," his friend assur- ed him. Next day, in his mail, Dr. Clen- dening found a bill—for legal ad- vice. Tl.ta bag Is maul: of felt, which' can be bought in all the hues of the rainbow. The' tholso of size. is /ours, too, depending on whether you need a small purse, ldrgp shop- ping- bag or a knitting bag. If you wish to line your bag, the ;spell to medium-sized bags take about )' yard each of felt and fining, Lining may be either of contrasting light felt, or a taffeta or rayon. You need no pattern. To make a handy zipper bag, .cut two circles in the size you wish; then cut a• long straight strip about three inches wide, and long enough to go around their circumference (.this connects them). The edges may be blanket -stitched but more often they are pinked and then sewn on the machine with an outside seam. Make a slit in the long strip for a zipper, and add felt handles. Simple, isn't It? This bag in vari- ous sizes can serve as a vanity case, a child's purse or a smart shoulder bag. If you prefer a drawstring bag, just cut two felt rectangles, about 8 by 10 inches (for a small bag). Pink the edges and round off the lower corners, then sew together, leaving the top open. Face the top edges and a space far the draw- string (doubled felt of %i1Cc tori!) to run through. Line the: '..bag with bright taffeta, and . trace. and cut out a felt applique to set Doff the purse. - For a small shopping or knitting bag, cut two rectangles about 12 by 15 inches. Snip off the lower corners instead of rounding them. Then make a three inch gusset from a straight piece of a con- trasting shade and sew it between front and back, down one side, across bottom, and up other side. Leave top open, and attach a wide double strip of felt (about 3 inches wide) for a handle, sewing one end to the front and the other to the back. Decorate with any simple felt dowers and leaves. Tulips are easy to draw and cut out. Whatever you do, have at least one "original" summer bag—designed and made by you. HARD TO SWALLOW When interviewed by a psychi- atrist a man insisted that he had swallowed a horse, None of the usual tactics could persuade him to change this conviction, and the psychiatrist decided to "operate," The idea was to put the patient under for a few minutes, and then, while be was unconscious, to intro- duce a horse into the operating - theatre. When the patient came to, the doctor pointed to the horse and said: "Wen, that won't worry you any more." The patient shook his head. "That's not the one 1 swallowed," he said. "That's a bay. My horse was white." HORSE TRADING —From Countryman's Year, by Haydn 5. Pearson AS it should be in a democracy, opinions vary as to what this country needs most. But high on the priority list the countryman would put the gentle art of trading horses. Time was, before the world was introduced to robot bombs, booby traps, and jet planes, when a man could court sufficient danger by Letting it be known around the countryside that he might be interested in a horse deal. Direct and decisive city businessmen would not understand the leisurely traditional ritual that is an integral part of a swap. When tato horse traders meet, professionals or amateurs, the amenities have to be observed. By unwritten law such topics as the weather, crops, local, state, and national politics are discussed or cussed. Then by stow and circuitous paths the subject of horses is brought up. The farmer is never especially interested in trading, Not according to his say-so. He has thought of i1, yes. But not seriously. It is just one of those things, Old Jerry is a good, solid chunk of horseflesh. Maybe he pulls a little harder agninsrthe bit than he should, Yes, he is getting along. Let's see, he might he twelve, even thirteen years old. Just a trifle lame in the off rear foot. Nothing serious, A few weeks in pasture would clear everything up. Old Top? Nothing wrong with him, May kick occasionally when startled, and chews the wood in his crib. Btt a good, strong horse. Lot of work left in him, Age? Possibly thirteen, or might he fourteen. ]lard to tell in a big, rugged horse like him. We countrymen do not pretend to he authorities on international diplomacy. We never' rats an allied, conference with a score or more nations taking part. Could be, however, that if the government saw fit to include a few really first-class horse traders in our delegation, the average citizen would be less apprehensive about the results. Water Wheeler—Out of the water for the moment is this collapsible aqua -bicycle on display at he annual inventor's fair in Paris. The 25 -pound bike, which folds into a three -`toot -long suitcase is supported in the water by two plastic float's, Oil bath bearings facilitate propeller operation and prevent rusting.