HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Brussels Post, 1929-5-15, Page 3TH
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And when millions like
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'Fresh from the garden'
VOSOR
ONE-HORSE WEEKLIES
PROBLEMS AND HUMORS OF NEIGHBORHOOD JOURNALISM
PROBLEMS AND HUMORS NEIGHBORHOOD
By Bruce M. Pearce, Editor of the
Simco( Reformer, in Toronto
Saturday Night.
1 am the One -Horse Weekly.
Once a week, 52 times a year, I go
out into the surrounding community
where I am eagerly devoured by
those who cherish me.
I know nothing about what is go-
ing on in the outside world. Those
who want to read about happenings
In Japan, Greenland, Russia, Aus-
tralia, or even in the -Dominion where
I am published, will have nothing to
with me because I do not concern
if with things outside by own
I have a few thousand readers
o care for me. Their love is
e. I tell them each week what
neighors are doing. If George
has purchased a new Ford, if
er Jones has just shipped a load
ogs, if the Jonesese entertained
it friends, the Browns, to dinner
unday, or if Harold. Johnson got
ty bushel to the acre from his
ead of oats, that is news for me, and
hasten to spread the glad tidings.
mong my readers.
G Or if in the town where I do my
work, the civic father are wrangling
about whether Carter & Richardson,
boot -makers, should be allowed to in.
stall a curb gasoline pump in front
of their premises, if one of the
churches is going to have a bazaar, if
Herb Walker appeared before the
beak for the 'steenth time on a
charge of being inebriated, could not
c
pay his fine and was 'men ten days
in the common jail, if the town fath-
ers refuse to permit the streets to be
cleaned on the sabbath, if a fund is
needed to clean up one ex the delapi-
dated cemeteries near town, if the
Stop by-laws :are being broken by
reckless motorists, if an outhouse on
Jack Winter's place caught on fire
and burned down a few nays ago, if
the charity dance last Friday night
was a success or if it looks as if
there would not be an election for
school trustees—well, this is "meat"
for me: I fill myself to evorflowing
and'my readers simply "eatmealive."
I have a few big city advertisers
who appreciate my worth anca some-
times take a whole page of me. But
1 exist mainly for my local mer-
chants. They know what I mean to
them, for I carry their messages to
all their customers and on Saturday,
when I glance down the street I see
hundreds of'my readers flocking to
buy goods from my business men.
That does my heart good, because 1
know then that my advertisers are
getting more money to spend on are
next week.
One or, two of the big business
men take a whole page, sometimes
e two of me every week, if I have
'room for then. Once in' a while 1
• have had to increase my .twelve :pages
or sixteen to accomodate them, but
'I don't do that very often because it
is expensive and I must make a liv-
ing. l Then I usually have about
twenty fair-sized ads, and a few
, small ones. Besides I am accustom -
ed to appear with ball a column or
so of coming events on my front
nage. 111verbody 'reads these be-
cause there may be something in
them that they shouldn't mise, such
as a chicken pie supper at the Bap-
tist church or the Cliristmoe eencel't •
at the community hall or the big
square dance up at Waterville the
next night.
My biggest job is to please all
classes of people. Because, in i
our, town you see, we have bankers
and preachers, lawyers and hard-
working men, merchants and me-
chanics, .doctors and janitors, yes,
nearly every sort of profession is
represented. If I am not careful
some of them will tunk.1 an talking
down teethern ; if I make grammati-
cal error, the higher minced will call
ole an uneducated fool and whorl;'
unfit even to be a 'One Horse Week-
ly. If some of tree elueriy ladies of
the community cannot find the re-
port of their quilting bee, then I am
likly to be called bitter names and to
be accused of showing partiality,
Unlike the big city daily, where there
are many Horses, there is only one
of inc and I have constantly to be
on nay best behaviour or I will hoar
about it.
Once a week, every Thursday I go
to press. Sometimes 2 am some-
what delayed because one of my best
merchants brings his advertising
copy in at the last aninute and de-
clares that I must get this ad. in or
he will quit using me. Only Iast
week I had six telephone calls just as
I was about to turn over the first
time. Several of them were my read -
ors who had forgotten tot send in a
bit of news. But one of them was
my good friend, Rosenburg, who had
just made up his mind to put on a
fire sale. I told him there was only a
quarter left, and even then I would
have to leave out my feature article
about the corn borer scare. By this
time the change had been made, 1
was fully an hour behind Ume. I'was
nearly desperate because you know 1
publish three thousand copies of my-
self every week and I must be in the
mail on time or my readers will not
sleep.
I had just got going good when
one of my traces broke, a column of
personal items slipped out of place
and I would have been wholly wreck-
ed If I had not stopped running just
in the nick of time. I lost another
half-hour repaving the damage, but
,.m..
3 POST
WEDNISD
Y. MAY
A Baking Expert says;
"Poe lisht cakes that keep
moist los' days, use 1 table-
spoon less per cep o fPur]ty if
your recipe calls for ordinary
pastry or soft wheat flour,"
Still the Boat for Bread
Send 30c he stamps for the famous
Pierity Flour Cook Book,
Western Canada Flour Mills Co.
Limited, Toronto. 84,
fortunately things went along
smooth the rest of the day, and 1
just barely caught the mails.
, After my work is done for the
week I usually spend the time pon-
dering upon hew I amu received by
my readers. I know that some of
jthena enjoy me because there is al-
ways a line up outside on Thursday
morning when they hear me getting
ready to turn over once every Thurs-
day, once on Friday, ane then put
me away for Sunday reading.
Of cource I realize that my editor•
ial column pains some of my readers
' because it is frequently necessary for
race in the course of my duty, to com-
ment upon such matters as the high
'tax rate levied by the town council
the terrible condition of town streets
or county roads (everyone is natur-
ally touchy about his work, an the
roadmaker is no exception), or per-
haps I have made some comment in-
imical to the interests or one of the
political parties (I try to be strictly
independent). If, I have appeared
with some item of news which the
Ipalty concerned did not want
pub-
lished, then he is sure to "high -hat"
me on the street or come to my place
of business, if he is brave, and make
dire threats to my face.
Occasionally terrible mistakes
have crept into any pages. Certain
words , have been mispelled which I
would almost have given one year of
my life to have prevented. Like the
roadmaker, errors always touch my
vanity. I have sometimes come out
qFIRE nearby—a strong Wind'driv-
-". ing the flames to renewed fury—
suddenly, a blazing brand hurled on
your roof! How many families have
been 'made homeless ,through this
vicious combination! How many lost
their clothes, their furnishings.—even
their lives!
To remove this hazard once•and for
all, progressive home owners are now
insisting on fire -safe roofs. That is
why so many use Brantford Asphalt
Slates -t -because sparks and embers
cannot ignite them. Flaming brands
die out harmlessly on their slate-
, coated surface.
4o a
This security is vital to your peace
of mind—yet you get it at little extra
cost when you select Brantford
Asphalt Slates. You also -get perman-
ence, rich and varied colour harmonies
and freedom from roofing trouble.
In most communities the reduced
insurance on buildings roofed with
. Brantford Asphalt Slates is itself a
convincing reason for using these
/ handsome, heavy shingles. Inspect'
them at your dealer's, and write for
t
A��t our booklet "Beauty With Fire Pro-.
ec` f tection"—an authoritative treatise on'
'CI the proper type, design, finish and
' colour for your roof.
Aar 1
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Brantford Roofing (be, Limited, Head Office and Factory, Brantford, Ont.
Brandt Oi ca asd Warehotpta. et 'reroute, Windsor, Witrclprg, Mooned, HoJlfax and Saint john, N.B.
.FOR SALE EY
Tilton & Gillespie - Brussels Charles F. Hansuld
Ethel
with "Mr." instead of "Mrs.", or
more horrible still, "Mrs." instead of
"Mies." -Then 1 am in real trouble.
Once or twice I have even had my
headings mixed, having a highly ludi-
crous effect and giving me no little
concern, Fortunately 1 am not both-
ered with telegraphic news, and since
I am acquainted with the view of the
Premier in my Dominion on such a
vital subject as immigration, I am
rarely caught giving credit to the
wrong Premier. I have, however,
credited a roadmaster with a certain
excellent piece of work which he hail
nothing to do with. The other road -
maker then stopped taking me alto
thohsands of cones nt+ re; for mss•
takes every week. Tut instance, 1
will just cite a few of the multi•
numerous duties veinal inuet be ay.
coulplishetl each time before 1 fluent
myself in the face of may 'eager pub -
1]e. I have about thirty people in
the different country districts who
cover the rural nates for ole, While
they co-operate splendidly they are
given to using about 25 different
types of lead pencils et have no
stenographic correspondents), most
of which are of the hard type atilt
as many different kinds of paper. 1
might say here, too, that one of my
advertisers is accustomed to writing
his acts. on dark brown wrapping
paper. In spite of the fact that I
have supplied him with pure white
paper, he persists in this, greatly to
my annoyance.
One of my writers is a tissue paper
addict, and while her letter fomes
are decipherable, often mealy words
aro wholly obliterated where the pen-
cil has slipped through the paper.
This likewise annoys me. Others in-
sists on using both sides of the copy
tlth, 1920,
NOW
the good'!people are asleep and the
solemnity 'of darkness enables me to
form high sounding pinions on mat•
tors of profound municipal import,
Should it be necessary to elaborate
further on the onerous character of
my duties or to explain why I make
mistakes?
The funny or rather tragic side
of the situation is that 1 go out to
my admirers every week feeling that
1 am, just about perfect and that the
most searching aeruttny will fail to
reveal a single flaw. Poor innocent
One Horse Weekly, with your sub-
lime confidence in your infalli.
bility 1
No sooner have 1 sent my weekly
3,000 on their mission of mental en•
lightenment and stimulation man one
of my merchants metes in q'rte our:
of breath and completely speechless
from fury,,to annoyance that 'Horror
of Horrors,' his adverticment IS
missing from the paper. Hasty search
reveals the ghastly truth of his asser-
tion, for in the rush of press day laic
ad. had been left prostrate on its gal-
ley. Hardly have the threats and iln-
precarions of this enrages patron lost
their( sting than one of my maidenly
subscribers appear on the scene, op.
ens wide a copy of me and pointing
to nay columns of "Items` of Long
Aero"' furiously demands what busi-
ness have I to :publicly state the data
of her (birth. What an ignoramus ant
0 never to have learned that womaa,'a
age is her own deep dark secret!
As the lady sweeps wrathfull
from my presence, behold I ane con -1
fronted by one of any oldest friends.
But his countenance did not shine
with amiabillity. Ht: wants me 10
know that he was not in any respect
to blame for that, motor accident, It
w
yes of Blue
-`-true to yea
Eyes of Gray
—idvc whilcaway
What are YOUR eyes
saying today 1
Your eyes have tgo voles, but
they speak — they show moods
and temper. 'They do more they
show your physical condition.
Are they clear, brisl,c sparkling with
health—or dull, with a yellowish. tinge
to the whites? This yellowish tinge is
the signal of intestinal sluggishness—
auto.Intoxicadon end liver trouble. Tron'r
neglect this warning of poor health to
follow.
03
Try a regular daily
course fora short d Yegetwtle
period, stoureycswilt
roll the story, Product
Read about Character front the Ryes in
future Beechamdaverrtrooreuts,
Sates Agents: Harold F. Ritchie & Co.,
Limited, Toronto 51a
in my pages, and lo, the wrath of the
gods descend upon me.
And so it goes.
But, in spite of my !many trials and
tribulations, I continue tto appear ev-
ery week to the evident delight of
the majority of my readers. Their
confidence and approval make me
proud • to be a One -Horse Weekly,
even although eome ;ravens have de-
predated my usefulness. 1 feel that
I am performing n : c rwleo to my com-
munity . which no other instrument
can do. If I make life a bit happier
paper which is actually taboo even was all the other fellow s fault and and more worth -while for my readers
with One Horse Weeklies. One oar- my contemptible insinuation: must I do net then' van what they say a-
respondent, a preacher, deliberately be withdrawn in the next issue, bout me.
writes the wrong way on the paper Have I neglected the name of Mrs. I may he only a One -Home Week -
despite my reiterated warnings. An- X among those who poured the tea el ]y, but in my own opinion, if I may
other apparently never leaves his yesterday's social funetionr So a say so, I am SOME horse.
own immediate vicinity, because the .. r steel informs ,n owe r the r.
same half-dozen people are featured
in his budget every week. I have
hail many complaints about this and
finally I even gave the job to a wo-
man who had been one of the loud-
est complainants, She proved a run-
ning mate for her predecessor, be-
cause her steins dealt exclusively
with her immediate friends and their
relatives, to the utter exclusion of all
other residents of the community,
and particularly those who had here-
tofore played such a pronanent role
in the news. After several of my
subscribers had forsaken me. I re-
turned the position to its former in-
cumbent because he needed the free
subscription which went with it.
Enough of my trouble with my
family of writer:, who do their best
but often bring much grief upon my
(lead. As I have ah•e;:dy :aid, late
advertising ropy is one or mer great-
est banes and often result. in co-tly
errors. Figures trouble ole at the
best of tinges, but when they tome at
rush hours I am nonplussed. On dif-
ferent occasions I have offered on
behalf of an advertiser candy. at
52.90 a pound instead of 29c ; a suit
of clothes for $S instead of $313 ;
ladies' underwear at $10 per garment
instead of 51 and so forth. Once I
was sued by an hungry advertiser for
his loss by reason of such mistake,
but the judge held me m favor Veen ii•
my coense1 pronunced the v, iw that
a One Horse Weekly could not tae ex-
pected to guarantee the correctness
of a last-minute adverticment.
But, teeny, I cannot more intelli-
gently set forth the multitudinous;
possibilities for error than by des-
truction what a vast array of work
and concentration goo: into my com-
position every week.
Firstly, all my type must he set,
proofed read and corrected In 0
12 -pare paper, uch as I nm it has
been estimated there are 2,159,x$:3
chances for mistakes each week. On
top of that are the ehances chancesthat my
news may be wrong In some pal -tint -
lac before it gets into typo. -Many
puhlie ellen are prone to say one
thing when they meats another, and
if their admit words are nrieted, al ea
for the poor One Horse Weekly. '1 h
Some weeks T's' a staergc'ring 1;>t of
continually activities to cover. Fro
example last week I had the town 1•it:
council, the county council, the Po-
lice court, the General Sessions, the
beekeepers' organization, the ]lone
and School, the Rotary Club, three
anniversary servicer in a church on
Sunday, the Masonic. Lodge, the Hos.
pital Board's annual meeting, with
two funerals and one. tragedy thrown
in for good measure. In addition, 1
meet prevent nt a court.• of re -elle nc of
personal items, tracking down those
who have 'defter. and these who are
name- ; a complete list of mo-
torists who are in troiale end cit.
izr ns who have violated the L. C. A. sj �;,, t. .
in my leisure hours (what a travesty.
on that benign adjeetivel) T must dig
into old copies and tell mo readers ( 1tee
t what they were doing fifty years ago,
of perchance they had made their in-
itial bow into this august world so
early in history. My editorial col-
umn is written late at night when all
'phone. j Stranger -1s that your new public
The next week a fabricated report school over there?
of a mythical wedding, contributed Waggish Citizens— Yes, that's our
by some irresponsible rascal, appears Chamber of Commas.
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DEALER — — BRUSSELS