HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Brussels Post, 1887-5-13, Page 6Vitriekies.
The toboggan, unlike the rolling
atone will gather moss for a few
Months,
The elephant always travel° with
a trunk : the cow gots along Mealy
with only a bag.
Shu: Yon have given yourself
away.—EIe: I gave ,nothing away.
She f that's what I said.
Prince Bismarck is a gram* old
Haan, but he will persist in wearing
a oap that makes him look like a
sleeping car conductor.
Mistress (to new servant): 'We
have breakfast generally about eight
o'clook.' New Servant ; 'Well mum, emuly, "is lost forever.' 'So is auy-
ifI ain't down to it, don't wait. thing eine plat you loso,' said the
Madam, said a gentleman to a boy Bitter Oreek.' 'Oh no,' replied
THE BITTS LS
Pb ST
Tim, do you kuuw what I mean 7
Do you know what a degree in ?'
l'upil ; 'Yon, sir.' Teaohei : 'What 7'
k'upjl ; ' Sixty-nine and one-fourth
miles,' •
.14ervou9 Patient (in dentiet'n
chair) ; 'Will it hurt muoh, Doo•
for 7' Dentist (reassuringly) ; 'I'11
guarantee it won't hurt a bit,' Nor.
vous Patient (not convinced) ; 'But
what if it slluuld, Doctor 7 What
would your guarantee amount to 7'
Dentist (eviilentally num of him-
self) ; 'If I hurt you, my dear dr,
I'll pull avery,tootti iu your head,
and 11 won't coat you a cent.'
'Lost time,' said the pastor sol.
lady 'pardon me, but your hair is
coming down.' 'And yours, sir,'
replied the lady indignantly, 'ie
coming oil.'
'What bate you been doing to-
day ?''asked a young man. 'I've
been watching mother darn clothes,'
replied the lady, and the young man
wont off and wondered why her
mother needed watching darn close.
'Mamma,' said Bobby, 'I know
why a burned child dreads the fire.'
'Why 7' asked mamma. 'Becarse
when he gets burned once the buru
makes him smart enough not to go
near the stove again.'
Struck Him Right at Laet.—Oue
Bohemian, meeting another dressed
1n black, remarked : 'Well, what's
up now ? 'Don't yon kno,v 7 We've
jnsl buried poor B,' also a Bohem-
ian. :You don't mean to say he's
dead 2 Weli, be is in luck 1'
'Speaking about the artist who
painted fruit so naturally that the
birds came and peckel at it,' said
the fat reporter, 'I drew a hen that
was so true to life that alter the
sage threw it into the wastebasket
it laid there.'
1 never will go to that full dress
reception,' observed1'1rs. Deco lette.'
'Why not ?' inquired her husband.
Because I haven't a decent dress.'
Weil, I wouldn't let that troubte
me. You'll find a good many there
that hasn't either.'
Said Captious, pointing to a sign
which read, 'Umbrellas repaired and
recovered,' 'There is a palpable
lie.' 'Why, how do you make that
eat ?' asked Snex. 'Well, umbrell-
as may be repaired, perhaps, but
they are never recovered.'
Lightning rod Agent f 'It's dang-
erous to be under this tree in a
thunderstorm. One of us might
get killed.' Victim : 'Well, if you
are killed, you won't be able to talk
any more ; and if I am killed, I
earn hear you. So 1 guess we'd•
better stay.'
The Paris Press Olub is to give a
• fanoy dress ball, at which every cos-
tume must represent a newspaper
ill some shape or other. One editor
hail announced that his wife will go
as &page. We presume that the
prevailing type will be the printer's
deyth,
'Have you the carte du jour 7'
sail'f'tjle affected mise to the hotel
wailer. 'A parte as the dure, is it ?'
he said. 'Faith, oi've not, mum.
It's a'waiter, an' not a rag man,
Oi balave Oi am, mum,' and then
she complained of his insolence and
stupidity.
'Major, if some one was. to. aha11•-
.engo you to fight a duel, what would
yew do 7"It would all depend on
whether he was agentleman or not,'
.e.id the major. 'If he was a• gent -
:imam, I'd certainly fight hip{.' 'But
how would you judge as to that 2'
-'That wouldn't be hard to tell. If
,he was a gentleman, he wouldn't
the pastor. 'You may luno any•
thing else and find it again.' 'Then
'tain't bort,' said the new boy, and
somehow the minister didn't just
exactly know how to go on with the
oonversatiou. And yet he had been
warned against that vary boy:
•
Campion New w.
The Leamington Post has been.
sold to H. Johnston t•f that place.
.A. petition is being circulated in
Guelph for the repeal of the Scott
Act.
Two Winnipeg midwives are to be
proeeou ted for premising medicine
without a licenee.
Mr. Cargill, M. P , of Eau Bruce,
has giveu notice of a Bill to repeal
the Scott Act,
The address fiend reigns in Toren..
to. Lord Lansdowne had five fired
at him in one day.
A. protest has been filed against
the electiou of Mr. Watson, M.P.
for Marquette, on the ground of cor-
rupt practices.
The Canadian Manufacturers'
Association at 'Toronto on Wednes-
day evening passed resoluttone op-
posing.reoiprodity with the United
States.
A new freight line, called the Can.
adlan Paoifin.Despatch; hiss gone in-
to operation in connection with the
Canadian Pacific Railway and all
its connections.
Wm. Cook, of Glenmorris, has
been found guilty of forging two
notes of over $100 moll on farmers
fu Puelinch township, and sentenced
to two years in the penitentiary.
The Plasterers' Union, of Brant-
ford, have notified the members
that all plastering work will be
charged 11c. a yard, and 20c. a yard
with material found, after May let.
Scott Act convictions in West
Kent since the 1st of May last,
amount to $8,700, $150 of which
goes to the county ; $8,100 have
been paid in, and iu East Kent the
fines amount to $3,575.
The morals of the young teen of
Aylmer are sought to be improved
by the young ladies of that place
who have formed an association, the
vow taken being to refuse to associ-
ate with any young man who drinks,
smokes or uses profane language.
A man named Wm. Smith has
been sentenced by a couple of Paris
Magistrates to 80 days' imprison-
ment for allowing a livery horse to
stand all night in harness, without
food or water, in an open shed, in.
stead of returning it to the stable.
A.rep-ort from. Ottawa atatee. that
Engineer Jennings, of the Canada
Pacific Railway, bought the land for
the divisional shops of the Canada
Pacific Railway in the city, which
were promised on condition that the
line would be extended from London
towards the western boundary of
Ontario.
want to fightme unless I had in• It is understood that an effort is
. suited him ; and I wouldn't insult being made to secure ajoint meeting
. him if he was:a gentleman.' of St. Thomas bakers and millers
Rector (with tremendous force) : for the purpose of advancing the
'Do you ask me to believe that even price of bread and flour inthe city.
after r(tia shameful treatment, Jacob 1 Bread•now sells at 10 cents por four
was pelt out.' Sport -loving Deacon
(wallttng up suddenly) 'Yes, he
was, an' Kelly never'd• a reached
\second if'=(and • the organ played
softly:)
OW Gentleman 'Here, sir 1 You
are s.• regular fraud. My hair's,
euming out as bad as ever. • This
stuff isn't worth t continental.'
Barber ; '1 didn't promise that it
would keep. your hair from coming
out. I `said it would preserve your
scalp. :your eoalp's all there, isn't
it ?' •
Mamma (coaxingly).: 'Come Bob-
by, talc's your medicine • now and
then jump into bed I Bobby : 'I do
not want to taiidany medicine, ma.
Father (who knowe how to govern
children) :,'Robert, if you don't take
your mddieine itt onto you will be
put ib Merl ;without taking it at all,'
Teacher (giving directions for
standing) : 'Stand with your heels
together, toes turned out, making
an angle of d0 degrees.' (This was
followed by a look of bewilderment
on one boy's face.) Teacher : 'Well,
pound loaf; and it ie the desire to
advance it to 12 cents. or 6 cents
per two pound loaf.
Joseph Hickson, General Manager
of the Grand Trunk Ilailway, aays.
that while -feeling confident that the
annual floods at Montreal can •be
prevented, that result will never be
attained till the harbor and the riv-
er down to Quebec are placed under
the charge of the Dominion Depart-
ment of Public Works.
At th,e annual meeting of the T.I.
0. ''X'ract. Society, at Toronto, the
following officers were elected:
Preeidrent, Rev. Joshua Donovan ;
vice-presidents, Hon. Wm. MoMaet-
er„ Bev. Wm'. Reid, D. B.; Right:
Rev, 11. 8. Baldwin, D.D., Bishop
of Huron ; Daniel Wilson, L.L.D.,
president University College ; Right
Bev. A. Sweatman, D.D., bishop' of
Toronto,; John Macdonald ; Rev, J.
A. Williams, D.D. ; Hon. Chancell-
or Boyd ; Rev. John Burton, 13.5. ;
treasurer, J. S. Ptayfafr ; joint sec-
retaries, John I1. 1oiaedonald, Bev,
A. P. McGregor, B.A.
OTE LOST,—LOST IN EI'1'H
alt ernosole on Oranbrook, on the lalis
April, 1887, a Promissory Note dated 18th '
Apr11,1887 made by Wm. Park 10 fever nl
(loured Mielunl, or bearer, and payable throe
years atter date with 0 per omit. rtaultally,
All persons are homey cautioned against*
1legotlating oeul nota, 1{51 pa}zneut hag Leen
etupp od. rhe butler will h0 rewarded on
epplloetlan and return of note to 011741005 !
IIIOCH2EL,Oraebrooit P. O. 41,4
'l,I'AAND YOUR KOttiES BEAU
UL
L TIP arritAo'1'lys: Tbo undnr-
elgnod has Inc sale a limited number of
Bulbs and Tubers of OLAbr0Lln lied those
superb nen0trt DAIIL0A0 that atbreoted su
much attention at the Fall Show at Bru Eisele,
et the following very low prices: U,adiolle
Bulbs, at...80 Dents per citizen ;Dahlia Tabors,
from 10 to 25 .ciente °sob ; Dahlia 'Cullers,
Now Singie It erlean, 18 cents, Saud in your
orders early, Plante ready by the 24051 or
May. DANLF1ra STEWAI4T, 40.8
Imperial dip.
THERE IS NO LEATHER SO GOOD(
tar We have Throe Thousand Pairs of
Boots in stock,
We will make a Reduction on Every
Pair.
We Sell Cheaper
than anyone else, quality considered.
The Great Boot (C- Shoe house,
Adam Good.
$22,00 15081010 FOR 400
Send ue 81.00 and we will mail. you
North's Phila. Musical Journal, One
Tear. We give ovary enbeerlber 82.00
}north of Sheet Music selected from our
catalogue ds a premium.. and publish in
the JounNAr; during tho year, music which
wonldoost in sheet. form, 820.00, possibly
more ; thus every subeoribor receives 822.00
worth of music f or 51.00, The 7olin0AL is
published monthly and contains instructive
articles for the guidance of teachers and
pupils ; enierlalning musical stories, an ex-
tensive record of musical events from all
over the world and Sixteen Rages of Npw
Mario in each world,
it the most val-
uable publication of the kind in existence.
Do not f1t11 to subscribe at once.
Address, F. et. NORTH. .e 00.,
No.1308 Chestnut 8t., rhiladclphin, PH..
Brussels Lime Works I
STILL AHEAD.
The enbacribers take this opportunity of
returning thanks to the inhabitants of
Brussels and vicinity for past patronage,
and beg to state that having made several
improvements in their kiln and mode of
burning they aro 00,0 in a better position
than ever before to supply the Public, with
Tiret-Ulass Lime.
This being the Thirteenth Season of our
business dealings in Brussels, and having
giveu ungnalifed satisfaction so far, the
public can rely on reoniviug g.od treatment
and a First-01ose Article from us.
Pirat-Glass Lime at 13cent's at the kilo.
We also burn a No.1 Lizne for Plastering at
15 ciente,
Remember the spat--ltru$sols Lime
Worhs.
41 Town & Son.
cazunnAtilEit
HERE WE ARE AGAIN !
After another long winter and lots of op-
position I am still alive and in a better
position than ever to attend to the wants
of the Public, having just •
Removed to the Store South of J.
Buyer's Carriage Works.
I am prepared to
Execute all orders Promptly.
GRAINING, GILDING, SIGN
AND DECORATIVE PAINTING
in all its branches.
4WNIXGS .1ND
SHOP BLINDS i
Done Up in Style
PAPER HANGiNG.
a Specialty.
Wm. Roddick,
0RANBROOK
LIME WORKS.
The undersigned is prepared to'
Supply the Public with
ANY QUANTITY
—oLr—
Fresh Lime!
Give' Me. a OalI.
V. GEALYI! IVI
9.
PROPRIETOR.
Wear S eotaeies
and Eye -Glasses that will preserve your
Eyesight.
Manufnotnring Optician, late Of the Run
of Lazarus ,4 Morris, 28 4laryle:id Road,
Harrow Road, London, tdul, l ngland, has tip -
pointed an agent for tho Renowned Spat,
Moles and Hve..01e.sseu which have been
before the na1Ue for the past 24 years,
Lazarus' Spoe•nole. never ti -s the oye
Lest many yam!. without oblongs,
For Sale by If. 1,. JACKSON,
BRUSSELS, - ONT.
1_1URON AND BRUCE
Loan & Investment Co.
ThisCompauy is Loaning Money
on 1''arul Seetu'ity at LOWEST
RATES OP• IN'rIRls'ST,
310etyu.:-('4 PttrCIiaSed.
SAVINGS BANK BRANCH.
8, 4, and 5 per cent. Interest
allowed on Deposits, according
to amount and time let.
OFFICE.—Corner of Market
Square and North Street, ti ode -
rich.
Horace Horton,
MANAGER.
T11G WILSON 8OUNDIIT.
AT GREATLY
Reducer. nixes!
We have on hand the following :
Land Rollers, Plows, Harrows,
Seuffiers, Horse Powers, Straw
Cutters, Turnip Cutters, Grind-
ing or Chopping Mills, best
make, and 1 Goocl Seconal
Hand Lumber Wagon.
TAKE NOTICE.
We bare stlirted a Planer
and hatcher tp work. Parties
wishing to have slumber Dressed
and Matcher*, or Flooring sized,
tongued and grooved nifty rely
on getting first-class'jobs on the
most reasonable tombs.
Repairs of all kinds promptly
attended to d,1 the Bnu SUMS
FOUNDRY.
W. R. Wilson
Infallible Blood Marna, Tonle Diuretlb
Lose of Appetite, Indigestion byxitaps a,
Biliouseees, Jkuudlee, Liver Complaint,
ilhomnutlein, all Kidney Diseases Sororulp,
Disoneee pecuitar to L'eumioa Salt Rheum,
8otftina awl all Skin Menses Ilon,loulte
Palpitation of the heart, hour Stomach and
Matt Burn, Purely Vegetable,
J01171 C. WAST 0, Ue„ ''reroute, Oat.
1:treat Vol- e'•ietlle.
'The subocrlooraerator stile bin valuable
Perm iii the Township Of Grey, eumprising
lots 0 au d 7, 0071 .1I lu •Alt G?wfillblp, T11i11.
tar11190800{111 gen ante x714,1 �y14111n 11 me0
from the thriving v l ego or, lbOlio oto, )WISP
genii gravel road load; l tiler!) About 108
510001155 to °loured{ free 'remstumpnild -Ina
high state of oust vatic o, Rho hu,anpo is
einly wondud. Tido t.rt11 is partlpnlarly
wullhunted, nearly the whole of Elm fences
lean, straight and having been created in
}000 and '88. On the premises therein it conl-
iIntalile log dwell hog beetle and °goo d[rani e
hart) with oteuo stabling undernea11, in
which there is it well with nu abundael• 011p -
ply ufe*Oellent 1.0 tor, There le ill:owls°a
now frame Implement hoose, 40x90, well
floored , above 111,1 below, and ueut,y eldo,i
and painted. For particulars apuly to tbo
Proprietor, ,T.‘ AI 110 11 (01150N,
liogi, tray, li \�zou Un„
18-11 God oriel*,
ON EY TO LOAN,
PRT v;/1 J'E FUNDS.
of Private, Funds have just .been
placed in my hands' for In-
vestment.
A`1' 7 PER CENT.
Borrowers can have their loans
complete in three days if title is
satisfactory.
Apply to
GH. F. WADE.
cis
MAI- 18, '.SSI
Money to Loan.
Money to Loan on Farm Pro
perty, at
LOWEST RATES,
PRIVA'fEfdAND COMPANY FUNDS
W. B. DICKSON,
Solicitor,
Brussels, Ont.
OINI.IY'I'0 Lent,
Any Amount of Money to Loan
on Farm or Village Pro-
perty, at
6 cl 6 Per Cent. Yearly,
Straight Loans with privilege
of repaying when required.
Apply to
A. Hunter,
J)isis'iwr Court Clerk, Brussels.
FOR ECCS!
HAVING OPENED OUT AN
Egg Emporium, in Grant's Block, Brussels,
Next Door 10 the Post Office,
I am prepared to Pay CASTE for any quantity ofjEggs.
BRING ALONG ALL YOU HAVE
and Remember the Stand.
if nova:now.
SELLING HP, ,. HMG N G SELLING OFF.
331{1°{'`
Boots & Sh,oes, Eats & Caps, llcaay-
Made Clothing, Gent's 'ux-
3aishingP, &c.
For the NEXT -SIXTY DAYS I intend running a Clearing Sale of my
Entire Stock, consisting of over $5,000 worth of all Styles and
Sizes of Boots and Shoos, Slippers, Ribbon, &o., Hats & Caps,
Ready -Made Clothing and Gent's Furnishings, so as to save re-
'moval. The like of such
BARGAINS 1G
as we will offer were never heard of before in Brussels, and it will
PAY You over and over again to make your purchases
from us during this
CLEARING SALE.
The Goods Must and Will be Sold Regard-
less of Profit.
Our Stook is new and in excellent condition. No old goods on
our shelves.
G all and See our. Goads and Get our Presst
Opposite Queert's:Hotel, Brussels.
SOSTRANDER.
SIXTY D9YS, SIXTY DAYS.