HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Brussels Post, 1886-4-16, Page 3Arlin', 10, 1886,
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TUE PHILOSOPIIICA.Ta TRAMP.
My clothing's regged, you deelare
Well, thee, et oan't be veiled.
My wardrobe is of lioen bare *1
My linen ean't be soiled,
No credit have I, you believe,
That bob I don't forget;
But theu, my friend, es you'll perceive.
I cannot nn In debt.
No dinner have I had to -day?
Well, no. Again you're right
nil have no dyepepsitt,
Or horrid dreams to -night,
No plaoo to sleep? Well, I'm content.
I've often walked the street;
But then, you know, I pay no rent,
And have no bills to meet.
'Twill kill me soon to live this way ?
)Voll, why should 1 ropiee ?
Yon, too, will die, your frame decay,
And turn to dust like mine.
Should wo in duet together dwell,
Though now you're dressed so fine,
A century hence no one could tell
Which were your bones, which mine.
The thought brings solace oft to me,
Though suffer here I must;
There obeli be true equality
When we aro in the dust.
"OATS IN GLOVES OATCH NO
MICE,"
"A very wise saying, and one wo should
heed,"
Said a poesy, named Tabitha Brown,
Ono morning, when out on visiting bont
Iu various parts of the town ;
For wherever amongst her relations and
friends
She went, she discovered them all
Preparing to figure that very same night
Al Lady Grimalkin's fine ball.
The young ones wore practicing waltz end
quadrille,
And curling their whiskers and hair ;
While their elders ware trying on thence
and caps,
To choose the most stylish and fair.
They turned in (hatpin from the wholesome
advice
Of plain Madam Tabitha Brown,
And smiled at her old.fashioned manners
and seeech,
And her home-made bonnet and gown.
White she, for her part, tvlbh no humor to 0
TE ISRITSSULotti POST.
tient, Ho hoes? hitt thoroughly.—" You
/dew, when her gay friends and vela
wore told
01 the acts of the king and the (pee
Base envy and jealousy wrought on
Be
That their oyee turned a permanent g
But she, the midst of her grandeur t
Minor]
Her habitude simple and high,
Still taking &Hula to the wheel and
loom.,
And in vi wing the earth mod the sky.
he
VARIETIES,
Ttown girl can ride a horse with
more grace than her country uonsin,
but the latter 000 stay in the set -Idle
longer.
Ohina bas not a single lunatic ay.
luns. Neither has the United States.
Singlemen don't need them. It's
the poor deluded married men who
go crazy.
The Canadian Indian is rapidly
becoming civilized. A chief uses a
pass over the Canada Pacific Railway
and another chief threatens to silo
the Toronto Globe for libel.
Patrick : An' f'vat did Moses iver
do Minister : He—why, he lifted
up the serpent in the wilderness,
—Patrick : An' bejabers, an' din't
Patrick toire that same out av o
°Ireland ?
"There aro sermons in stones,"
says Shakeepeare. That's 80. And
when a crowd of boys begin to neavo
them, it doesn't take even a poor old
eat long to find out tho import of the
text.
Getting his Bearings.—"No Ear.
13'," said a young wife, decisively,
never wear a low-necked dress
again, as long as I live." "Meroy
Sarah, you :lon't mean to say you're
going to put one on after your dead 1"
One way of looking at it.—"You
want to mentone for your health ?"
.No, for my wife's ; and I am pleas.
d to state my trip was entirely sac-
essful." "Ali, then the recovered?'
'No, air, she died. I said it was sue -
easeful."
Mrs. Wells (about to have a new
ervant) Now, in regard to going
ut visiting, Servant (interrupting)
eh, go out whiniver yez loikos
ou'd not find Bridget O'Murphy
ud, mum, or dictatorial loike.
A New Use for the Wall paper.—
ustomer : I'd like some of that wall
aper that yon are advertiging is filled
ith arsenic. Wall paper dexter :
ow many rolls ? Cuetorner : Well
ow many does it take to get away
ith a mother-in-law 2
Mrs: Fizzletop overheard her son
obany swear like a trooper. "Why
obnny," she exclaimed, "who taught
ou to swear that way 2" "Taught
a to swear 2" exclaimed Johnny.
why It's me who teaches the other
Ilia Conduct Justified.—"What
n don't moan to tell me you have
had tho fullest confidence) IP you
thaln clerk, Pdr, Persona ?" "04, yea, I
knew him thoroughly." "How do
mem you account for the fact then, that lie
hag embeszlea $10,000 of your um
oy 2" 1, hut s what I altvaye
the thought ben/. do, No, sir, s arn't
fooled in 11110, 0 particle."
Hollo, Jones 1 !low strong and
healthy you have grown eine° last we
met 1" "Yee, Dick, I'm (salivating
tny muscle preparatory to becoming a
pugiliet. Feel nf that arm." "What
are you doing 2" n1 em working in
a jeweller's store." "Pshaw/ How
can you ineretum your =sole by such
light work as that'?" "Easy enough,
I wind all the Waterbury watohea in
the entire eetabfiehmenis
A young nsan from St. Louie read
in ilio papers that there was an i0.
fallible way to get ahead of the manta
find, "When, said the journal he
consulted, "the gambler lays down
the cards and offers to wager that
you onn't pick up a designated mud,
pick up all three at one sweep and
you have him sure." Impreseed
with the infallibility of this rule, the
young man from St. Louis lay around
till lie found a Chicago gambler who
was inviting any adventurous soul,
who would bet $5, to pick the jack
out of the three cards that formed
his working capital. The young
man said he didn't bet no $5, but if
the gambler had any money he had a
$50 bill that would talk. The bet
was made and the gambler threw the
card& "Now you bet $50 1 can't
pick up the jack," said the 86. Lou.
1800, with a smile of confidence.
"That's me," laoonioally replied the
gambler. "Then, here she goes," re.
plied the St. Louisan, as he took up
all three cards at once. "1 gimes
that's my money," mild the gambler
impassively, "there's no jack at all
there 2" "You see, sonny'," he ed.
ded, "there's a big percentage in fav-
or of she dealer in this here sinful
gatne.
and
St.
uld
joie, 0
In their idle, luxurious ways,
Vent back in content to the wheel and the r
born,
To which elle devoted her days,
And when in the evening her labors were
done,
se temper reflective and high,
She frequently sat on the roof of her house,
Surveying the earth and the sky.
That night the groat hall of tho season came
Off
In Lady Grimalkiu's saloon,
Which was newly upholstered in crimson 3
and gold,
And shone with the splendors of noon. %.
The guests that assenahled, Hasp and
rank, 10
Were the first that the kingdom could "
boast; bo
And all were received with diguified grace
By the stately hostess and host.
The charming details of the dance and the al
Ieaat,
And the costumes of matron and belle,
Ileave to the fancy of those who may read, m
More sorioua matters to tell.
Per just as the revelry reached its fall ie
height,
And the moon of midnight was nigh, 0,,
A clamor and clatter were heard in the
streets, OA
And a horseman came thundering by. all
"There's a panic at court 1" be shouted lik
aloud, fli
As he dashed to the left and, the right: in
"A. moose in the royal apartments ts hid, go
And the Queen is fainting with fright 1"
"Ho 1 Cats 10 1120 reethe 1" he shouted a- Mi
gain,
But none of them answered 1218 ME; Po
And only a moment, to wonder and hark, 001)
The revelere stopped at the bell. Mi
They laughed in derision the summons to im
hear,
As the 3210010 and dancing were stilt; bou
Then higher and wilder their merriment
rose,
The feasting, the waltz, and quadrille. dote
'While vainly the messenger ehouted, and lo .
roared , the
Through the length and breadth of the
town,
'Till at last ho arrived at the quiet abode said
Where resided Dame Tabitha Brown. oug
And there he beheld her Stuveying the
worlds
Alone on the roof of her houze,
.And cried 'Oh! Madam, pray give 'us
your aid,
11 700 know hove to capture a 0)0000 1"
Then quick to the ground Madam Tabitba
eame,
With countenance firm yet elate;
And away with the horseman she flow like
the wind,
'Till they came to the King's palace gate.
ken
ready tathe stick to your wife ?
by you haven't been married three
onthe 1" "I know it; but the man
ho waits to beat his wife until she
old IS el brute, that's all."
"I would not injure the lowliest
ye an eminent philanthropist. It's
right enough for a man to talk
e that while ho has lots of hair and,
es are seam, but the time is 00211-
g when that matt will thirst for
50.
A toy he knew nothing about.—
ss Eugenia : .A.h. tell me, Mr,
gg, did you ever have your hors°,
e oast 2 Mr. Fogg : Well, really
ss Eugenia, I cant say that I ever
any. My parents were not very
II off, and I don't think they ever
ght one for mo.
Ool. Tom Herclernan came rustling
n the street and said : "I want
ad of posts. If I did not want
m they would be running over
"You keep the Post office,"
a miserable punster, "and you
ht to, keep posted."
"Well, wife, I'm aerionaly thinking
of moving bo Bermuda." "I'm, glad
to hear it, I know it, will just suit
yon." "What, what do you know
about 111 2" "Oh, I've beard that a
lazy man can make a, fortune in Bor.
muds simply by sitting still and.
watching things grow."
eature that enjoys the boon of life,'
The chamberlains joyfully ushered her in,
And swiftly the mounted the stain
To the rooms, where terrified ladies sat
ratites
'With the feet gathered Up in their
chairs.
„tri idle mouse she warded no time,
Bet set to her task with a ;
And soon the mall monster she ferreted
out,
And slow it with bhorough-bred
non all the Boo ladies dismissed their
alarms,
Anil from their high nlices stepped down;
Then the beautiful queen revived from her
swoon,
• And embraced Madam '.Cabitha Brown.
And all the court, ministers yted in her
praise
When her enrage and wisdom they aoser ;
They voted to give her a penelen for life,
nd theiring made bor Duthems of Patz,
I. _
Henderson : Tho Ainerioans are
certainly- queer people. Lots of un-
important matters are magnified into
great questions of the day, while they
pay no attention at all to the great-
est question ot the day. Harmon
And that is ---2 Henderson : "When
are you going to pay that bill 2"
Mr, Tompkins was svatting, for
Mies Minnie, and her youthful broth-
er was entertaining hint until his sis.
ter's arristal. "Say," he ventured,
"your hair is black, ain't 21 7" 'Yes,'
"Well, you dye it, don't you ?" "No,
What put that idea into your head ?"
"1 dunno, only sister Minnie said the
other day that she believed you wore
naturally lightheaded." Mr. Tomp•
kits has transferred his affections to
another girl.
-sensible Sentences.
Don't be whining abort not having
a fair chance. Throw a sensible man
out of IL window, he'll fall on hie feet
and ask the way to his work.
The more you have to begin with,
the less you svill have in the end.
Money you earn yourself is much
brighter than any you can get out of
dead men's bags.
A. scant breakfast in the morning
of life whets the appetite for a feast
later in the day. He who has tasted
a sour apple will have the more relish
for a sweet one.
Your present want will make future
prosperity all the sweeter. Eighteen
pence has set up many a pedlar in
huffiness, and he has' turned it over
until he has kept his carriage. •
As for the place you are cast in,
don't find fault with that; you need
not be a horse because yon were born
in a stable.
If a hull !risked a Wan of mettle
sky-high he would drop down in a
good place.
A. hard-working young man, with
his wits about him, will make money,
while others will do nothing but lose
it.
"Who loves his work and knows
how to spare, may live and flourish
anywhere."
An to trouble, who expeete to find
cherries without stones, or roses with-
out thorns 2 Who would win must
learn to bear. 112
Idleness lies in bed sick of the mut.
hgrubs, while industry finds bealth
and wealth.
Tho dog in the kennel barks at
fleas; the hunting dog does not even
know they are there.
Laziness waits till' the river rims
dry, and never gets to market. "Try"
swimsit, and makes all the trade.
"Can't do it" would not oat the
bread cut for him; bat "Try" made
more out of mushrooms.
worompeamo.....
Baussees.—If fried, it must bo long
and gently, but they aro Much better
if baked in the oven with a little wet
or, We steams and thoroughly
coolts them ; they 'Mould be helms
until timely browned and they will I have a nice lot of Eithy Oar.
not be as dry as when fried. Ssrve riages on hand that the Public
with petatoee, eider apple 010000,1)1(110 0110111d 00e,
stewed ep,plee without lamer, or sour
pickles.
Teti amens P11021 TUN 111304.—.
In most eRSOki a dimple and affective
enro tnay be foam' in one or two grains
of Bunsen d which eau be planed in
the eye without pain or injury, As
they dieeolve, a glutinous substance is
formed, which envelopes any foreign
body that may be under the lid, and
the whole is easily washed 0121, A.
dozen of these seeds should eonstilute
every traveller's] outfit.
VEGETABLE 501.11'.—.Peel and out
very fine three onions, three turnips,
ono carrot and four potatoes, put
them into a stow pan with a quarter
of a poutil of butter, the Haute of haus
aud a bunch of parsley; pees them
two miuutes over a sharp fire; then
add ,o good epoonful of flour, mix well
in, moisten with two quarts of broth,
and one pint of boiling milk; boil up,
stirring the while; season with salt
and sugar, strain.
Comons.—One cup powdered sugar,
one half cup butter, one egg, one half
cup sour milk, one-balf teaspoonful of
soda bitted three times through two
cups of flour; one half of a small
nutmeg and a handful of raisins,
Bub the butter and sugar te a cream,
then add the egg, mak and spice and
Let the flour, Roll ibiu, cut into
round cakes and bake in a quick oven,
proseing one raisin into the centre of
each cooky.
Rona PUDDING,—Rub It piece of
butter tile size of an egg into one
quart of flour in which has been sift-
ed two teaspoonfuls of oream-tartar
and one teaspoonful of oda. Mix
with outfit:lent sweet milk to make a
dough that can be rolled out. After
rolling it out into a sheet, spread
with any kind of fruit, fresh canned
or preserved, and then roll up, being
careful to fold the ends so that the
fruit will not run out. Steatn one
hour and eat with a sauce.
Sore MOTEIne.—One quart of milk,
three egge, one teaspoonful of salt, a
piece of butter the dee of an egg,
four tablespoonfuls of yeast, and sift-
ed flour to make a stiff batter. Warm
the milk and butter together, and add
the salt ; beat the eggs very light and
stir the .1 into the milk and butter ;
then stir in the yeast and last the
flour. Cover the mixture and set it
to title for throe bottle or until light
in a warm place. Bake in muffin
rings or heated gem irons until a light
brown. May be mixed at night and
used for breakfast.
BARED •W1NTER Squaeta—Winter
squash may be cooked in various ways,
and there is a considerable variety of
tlieni. The bard shell aro the beet
for cooking. Wash them and break
them in pieces ; or, if the shell is soft
enough, out in two and remove the
awls ; cut into pieces of convenient
eize and lay the shells downwards in
a disit or bread pan ; pour on a little
boiling water to start with, place in a
hot oven, and bake until soft. When
done, the squash is dry and mealy.
BABY OARRIAGES 1
IV 0 r clirwest Notes
Lots of immigrants are coming in
to settle in the district of Prince Al
bort, they are arriving daily.
Anoording to the returns presented
the senate, we notice that Prince
Albert has a population of 2,881
males and 2,542 females,
A. private telegram announces that
the New Brunswick Legislature nes
been dissolved, and writs ordered for
a new election. Nominations on the
19th aud election on April 20th.
Messrs. Mama and Ouimet, rebel-
lion claim; commiesioners, and G. H.
Young, of Winnipeg, secretary to the
commission, have arrived at, Prince
Albert, The Commission will corn.
mance taking evidence on the claims
at once, and expect to get throng/2 In
8 weeks when they will proceed to
BaStLtiesekf°artclehewan Robinson, of Stan-
den, says he ean down the scientists.
They tell him it is -impossible to raise
oolte foaled in ibis country before the
month of April, and be has one now
nearly a month old, and doing well.
The parents of the said quadruped,
for half a century on both sides, have
been owned by bis
Tho municipalities of Dennis and
Whitehead, in Brandon, are moving
in the matter of bridging the Assiut -
bolus at Virden, Oak Lake and Gris-
wold. The move is a very commend-
able one, as if built the bridges would
greatly facilitate traffic in these Mun-
icipalities, The parties interested,
however, will,bear in mind it 10 ne-
cessary to apply for and seam per-
mission from alio Dominion Govern •
ment before any of the strnettlrea can
be proceeded with.
HOUSEHOLD HINTS,
("ennui= Baur:in.—Pour boiling
water on your cranberries and let
them simmer a few minutes, strain
through a colander, then add sugar
and boil ten minutes. No cranberry
sweets as fine as this. Gooseberries
prepared the same way make a line
1111100.
To nalse EAT OE SOME, GRAVIES, &O.
--Thoroughly wet a cloth such as a
glass cloth, with cold water, and pour
the stook through it ; every particle
of fat remains in the cloth, and your
stock is as free from fat as if it had
been allowed to•get cold and the fat
removed in a cake. This hint will bo
found very useful, especially where
beef tea, soup or jelly has to bo pro.
pared for invalids, which is often
needed In a hurry. This at can bo
melted and elarified,,and le quite as
good when rernovecl from the cloth at
if token off in ealees,
They are Weil made, nicely
finished and will be Sold at
Retzsonable Prices,
SEJPI`111-11\/1.
liminess I Collars!
and everything in the harness line
On hand.
Also Trunks, Valises, Satehels,
&c.
H. DENNIS.
THE GREAT THOROUGHFARE TO
THE NORTHWEST.
The St. Paul, Minneapolis & Manitoba
with its 1,500 mike of road. It is the only
line extending through the Park Region of
Minnesota, to all principal points in Red
River Valley, Northern Minnesota, North-
ern Dakota. The Shortest Route to Fargo,
Moorhead, Sauk Centre, Wahpeton, Cassel -
ton, Breckenridge, and Morris.
The Only Line to Grand Forks, Grafton,
Mayville, Latimer°, Devils Lake, Crooks.
ton, Portland, Hope, Winnipeg, Milsboro,
Ada, Alexandria, and to
DEVILS LAKE AND
TURTLE MOUNTAIN DIST'$,
n which there is now the largest area of
the most desirable vacant Government
Lands in the United States. The lands of
the St. Paul, Minneapolis & Manitoba Rail-
way Co. in Minnesota aro particularly de-
sirable for all classes of farming, are offer-
ed at very low prices, and easy terms of
payment, and it will be to the advantage of
all seeking new homes, to examine them be-
fore purchasing elsewhere.
Maps and pamphlets describing the noun -
try, giving rates of fare to settlers, etc. ,
mailed FREE to any address, by
JAMES B. POWER,
Land and Immigration Comm'r.
0.11. WARREN,
General Passenger Agent,
Se. P. M. & 121. R'y., Se. Rum, Minn.
1