The Brussels Post, 1886-4-9, Page 3Amu. J, 1886.
THE 1111:7S13Ei.S POST, 3
hales ler Footle!!leg the R'e-0111(1, Ie comfortable pinmeet:moos»•'Aye i:Sloitatiinn l°.tOWN.
lovers occupying one arm•ohatr,
There as said to bo a decided rose,
tion against flats m Now„York, In
this part of the country the reaction
has prevailed a 1oug time, It id att.
plaid with the toe of the bout,
"Why dust thou hide that lovely
cyo 2" slugs a aporony pool, Probab.
ly the owner of the lovely eye has
told eotneboay he ked and the eye 1s
not in tt preee•1l table eondltion,
The trtulsposlLiou of quuotatiun
marks,in a recent music catalogue
covered the following startling au-
nouncement f "She heavtd e, sigh in
la flat for thirty five mints."
The lay of the hen strikes the com-
munity no among the most agreeable
signs of a plentiful spring, but when
the lay of last year's hen strikes the
ear of the no-good orator it is a also
that a cold day is lurking around
somewhere.
A Nevada man who lives near Win.
nemUCCIt id looking for his house,
which somebody has stolen outright:
He offere $150 reward for the arrest
of the house duet
Wonien are liable to melte many
mistakes, but not ono of them, at
leabt no white woman, ever gets so
far wrong that she puts pulverized
charcoal on her face instead of pearl
powder.
Snicks came home when supper
was 'over and his wife said t "My
dear you would never make a good
basebelt player." "Why, my love 2"
said ho. " Because you aro not good'
on the home run," was the reply,
1. 'Won the temperature falls
euddenly there is a storm forming
eotltb of yell,
2, When the temperature rises
suddenly tilers is 0 stomal north of
yen,
8 The wind always blows. from a
region of fair weedier toward a reg.
Mil where a storm is forming,
4. Cirrus clouds have a thin,
streaming look, somotiures appearing
like heir or carded wool, and Borns
times lute a brush or broom. They
are the highest oloude.
5 Cumulus clouds always move
from a reni•en of fair weather to a
reeiun where a storm ie forming,
Cnn:ulus clouds appear in rolling
masses, piled one above tmotlier, like
mountains topped with snow.
6 When cirrus clouds are movuig
tepidly rid the north or northeast
there will be ram inside of 24 hours,
no platter Low cold it is,
7. When cirrus clouds are moving
rapidly from the south an) soath•east
there will be a cold rain storm on the
morrow ; if it be whiter there will be
a snow storm.
8. The wind always blows in a cir-
cle angled a r tome, and when 1t blown
from the north, the heaviest raini is
east of you ; if from the south, t1 is
w1st of you ; if from the east, it is
email of you ; 1f from the west, it is
north of you.
9. The wind never blows unless rain
or elicit. is.falling within 1,000 miles
of you.
10. Whenever heavy white frost
• occurs, a storm is ferning aithill 1,-
000 miles north or northeast of you.
We Pause fel Smile.
When the inventor tot a life pro.
servo 111 drowned.
When \to see a sausage•makerhunt-
ing gronnd•hogs.
When a teetotaller eats cloves and
coffee to disguise his breath.
When a bald-headed man asks the
barber to part his hair in the middle.
When fresh country butter is Bo
strung that it practices on the hori-
zontal bar.
• When we step on another man's
corn. N. 13.—Tho other man does
not. smile.
When the stfeet Commiesi0n0r is
pulled from a mud hole by tho city
councilmen,
When it dude asks the barber to
wax his moustache and the latter asks
hint to mail it to him,
When a ph)sicinil takes a dose of
his PIN medicine by mistake and is
sent to the hospital.
When we succeeded in selling the
patriarch hen which has been a family
heirloom, as a spring chicken,
When we fee the sheriff surround
and ovelwbelm tho merchant who
said it was folly to advertise.
When the man who Mike in the
theatre dies end is buried beside tire
woman alio wore a largo bonnet at
the same place.'
VARIETIES.
"This is a long tramp." said a po-
liceman as he ran in a six foot -vag-
rant.
Tito first flowers of spring -Those
which your alto seleetsfor her Easter
bonnet.
The puglist who strikes out quick -
1y, believes it is the immediate deliv-
ery system.
We disapprove of broom drills.
The average woman can wield, a
broc:m too well already.
Itis seldom that it man is Willie
iently colorblind not to bo able to
toll a greenback when he sacs it.
A bachelor's logic.— "Marriage is
a lottery ; Iotteries aro illegal ; there.
fore I simply obey the law by peeping
single 1"
Society is just like a pie. 'i'here is
an tipper crust and a lower crust, but
the real strength and substance lies
between thein.
An exchange speaks of the Russian
knout when applied to the Polo as a
pole eat. This hi an Icnoutrage on
common scents.
A German rushed into a drag store
and exclaimed : "Mein Gott, young
man, I eat raw pork, and I dint don
ma machinery in it 1"
"What straits are the most peril-
ous 2" asked a Sunday 6011001 super-
intendent,
little bey -spoke
' dao.
anda
cit
ut5up
1
,P
promptly : "Whiskey straights,"
"Waiter, this chicpen is very tough.
It's all 1 can do to get my teeth
through it." "Sorry, sir, hot 1 hav-
en't Liana to ebew it for yon now."
Julia (aged aix)— We've got a now
baby tit our helm. Clara (aged six)
---What is it, a boy 00 a girl 2 Julia
—Oh, wo don't know yet. We've
only had it two days 1
' "t1. seaman washed overboard," ex-
claimed bfre. Eranglo as she road a
newspaper h00.011110 ; "bet he was so
dirty they hadn't enough water on
the ship,"
A German scientific journal says
that "bees aro good storm signals."
The suddenness with which a bee
raises a storm depends upon what
portion of the anatomy the insect
alights. If the bare neck, "thunder
and lightning !"—if not a stronger
expletive—will follow immediately.
An old woman in North Carolina
tainted a few days ago at her first
sight of a locomotive and railway
train. The sight of a fashionable wo•
rnau's train would undoubtedly have
driven her crazy.
The Avlagagdivtlt Nalinginnarnik
Tysaremmnsassumik is the euplion•
isms titled a journal started in Green•
land. Newsboys refuse to cry it on
the streets for less than $10 a clay
end pair of steel -plated jaws.
A bachelor poet propounds the fol-
lowing conundrum : "What is warm•
er than a woman's love 2" In ro-
eponse to which a married prose wri-.
ter would like to enquire : "What is
colder time a woman's feet 2"
SAM SONE?, ON DOATII.BLiD RE-
PENTA NC ES.
Death don't bother me 1101f as muoh
as life does, het you can take au empty th
coffin and shake it and frighten nine -
tenths of the Christians out the oity.
They're more afraid of death than --
I would like to say of the devil, but
they ain't afraid attic, devil. lLaugh-
ter.) I don't believe in deathbed re-
pentance. Iknow a minister that an d
he's good for is to marry the living m
and bury the dead. I'm not much
on whinin' ground sick beds ; I want 8
the lite Itickmg fellows to work on. 8
(Laughter Rud Applause.) It's an lr
insult to God to turn over your old, 0
worthless carcass to Him when you've a
gut no further use for it. (Laughter.)
You shake a fellow over a coffin a e
time or two and bus runs—but not b
from sin ; lie's running from the, H
ct.flin. People litho about death -bed E
repentence, tied then they bring in
the thief on tho cross. The only Hope
nine tenths of you Christiana have is
that somebody will saddle up . that
thief and let you get on his back and
go loping into glory. (Great laughter
and applause, followed by au encore.)
It's a disgretce. I'd bo ashamed to go
loping in on tho back of a thief. (Re-
newed, laughter.) I admire the grit
of the man on his cicada -bad who is
given straight lo the devil and is too
bravo to insult God with his old,
worthless body, likea cowardly puppy.
(More laughter.) I won't limit the
mercy of God, but you that have had
ten thousand chances don't bring up
that thief 1 Heaven is the home of
Men who have built oharaoter on
earth. As long as Cornelius Vander.
bilt could concoct a railroad scheme
ho eared nothing for God, and at last,
after his last dollar wae made, the
old sinner turned t i
o his wife
tot
e ng
to him, "Come, Yo Sinners," and I
believe a good divine proaelled him
into the kingdom. (Laughter.) The
only claim Vanderbilt had for heaven
was that he asked ins wife to sing
him a good song to waft hum into
glory. I don't behove in any such
nOneenae, 1believe y011 have got to
be prepared to go there.
Lessons were used by the Romans
to Beep moths from their garments,
and in the fillies of Pliny they wcro
considered an excellen t 'poison, They
aro natives of Asia,
There is a heavy snow falx east
Belleville.
'Work has at last been eommoncod
on the Windsor c:leet010 railway,
W,H. Rowland was on Thursday
morning re•eleoted mayor by aeelam•
mien, there being no other nominee.
Whitby lights her streets with coal
oil, and wattle to skip the period of
gaslight, tied put in electricity.
A cape of the Salvation Army
from London baro rented a building
in Parkhull, and will begin services
there shortly.
It is prophesied dint, unless labor
troubles interfere to prevent, more
building will be ereeted in Toronto
this season than during the past five
years.
Tho Rev, 13. B. Keefer, Methodist
minister, well known in 13ttmilton and
locality, has resumed the office of
general agent of the Ontario branch
of the Dominion Alliance.
The officers of the 65111 will bring
action against Mr. Sheppard until lie
makes a full and satisfactory retract.
ion of the article concerning the regi-
ment. They say they do not want
hie money but en apology,
Somotimos the duty on liquor is
higher than the cost of it. The
other day a dealer paid about $800
duty on $50 worth of gin. If mat -
tore go on in this way gin fizzes will
got beyond the reach of the needy.
A Minnedosa dispatch says :--Rev.
Mr. Longhead, Presbyterian minis-
ter at Rolling River, was found dead
a short distance from limo by In.
diens, His riding whip. was clasped
in his Maud. He was riding a young
horse and was thrown, causing in•
dant death. Mr. Longhead was
widely known in the Northwest.
John Grandy, of Maidstone town-
ship, met with a singular accident the
other day. Two steers were fighting
in a barn yard tvhero Grandy was at
work, and while trying to seperate
them one of them gored him in the
left eide, fracturing several ribs and
lacerating the flesh badly, No dang-
er is apprehended from the injuries.
On the 5111 concession of West Nia-
souri, on March 7, Mrs. Harvey Scott,
aged about 54 years, while in the act
of pouring boiling water from the tea'
kettle, fell to the floor, eoelding her
foot. A doctor wits immediately sum-
moned, and upon arriving found Life
to be extinct. Examination showed
the cause of death to be haunt disease.
Bishop Walsh had received the fol-
lowing letter from Joseph G. Biggar,
M. P., British House of Oommons
"My Lord—I have the honor to ac-
knowledge receipt of 488 8s 511 stori-
ng, forwarded on behalf of the Lon.
don branch of the Irish National
League of America, by your lordship,
rungb his Grace the most Rev. Dr.
Walsh, archbishop. of Dublin. With
many thanks."
A pigeoodshuttling Olbrnmencin 31 BABY ilj fyARR p ( `f; S i
of to be held at Cttawva, commencing on ilio dIiJ.4171.1KJ.lY. ll� 1F(C1i1.1I31.1Ur1HJ,
May 4111, when „41,000 in prizes will
be offered.
It is fon red dell the volunteers c10
ing garrison duty at Kink aton will b
hareem:Med, as the fort be within
the city limits,
E. F. B. Johns',) will return to
Guelph to live about 1st May, having
resigned his position as deputy At
toruey General,
Tho farmers of Indian head, V, W.
T., began seeding en Tin -leder, and
point to the foot 01 tel evidence of the
geniality of the climate up there.
The Queen will open the Celouial
Exhibition on May 4. and will be ea
oo.rled through :he Ono:1d0 a di.pe,t.
ment by Jahn Laidlaw 10 perg"u
On the ididlaud division of the G.
T. 11., near Oampbellford, Thnrsdny,
the track wae submerged with water,
and all the treble were o.uao011ed
The Government will not refund to
Toronto the amounts 0outribnted for
the roll f of the families of volunteers
who went to the Northwest Inst year,
and that settles it
The County Attorney of Norfolk
nffers a reward 'of $200 for the ap-
prehension and conviction of the
writer and sender of a threatening
letter' to bEr. Dickenson, light -house
keeper, Long Point.
The contest between Jay Gould
and the Knights of Labor is at an
end for the present at least. The
Knights of Labor are shown to be
possessed of great strength, and ex-
ert greet power in the neighboring
Republic. They are supposed to num-
ber 500,000, and if they stand togeth-
er they may exercise no inconsidor•
able iufiueoce In altering the relations
subsisting between labor and capital,
In consequence of the steady iu•
crease in the .populetion of Algoma
and Parry Sound districts and the
formation of new school sections, the
Department of Education have found
it necessary to (Linde Algoma and
Parry Sound into two distrtete for the
purpose of school inspection. By the
death of Inspector Maclean the ap-
pointment of two new school inapeot.
ore devolves upon the department.
Rev. Gott. Grant, a Siwcoe gentleman
of liberal education and experience in
eebnol work, has been appointed to
too inspeotorate of Parry Sound dis-
trict, and an inspector for Algoma
district will be appointed as soon 05
possible.
The annual presentation of prizes
and diplomas to students of the On.
tario Veterinary College took place
on the 28th ult. The session has been
the most successful. in the history of
the Institution. 'Three hundred stu
dents have been in ettteodanee--170
juniors, 112 seemed year mu, and
the remainder third year. Ont of the
total number 180 were • from the
United States. Fax the best general
examivatroa the gold medal given by
the Ontario Veterinary Association
was won by John Scott, Alton, Ont.,
and honors were taken by P. F,
Anderson, of Corey, Ohio ; A. H.
King, of St. Thomas, Out. ; W Kirk,
of Garden Hill, Ont.; W.P. McClure,
of Brampton, Ont.; Asa MacQueen, of
Liverpool, N. Y.; and L. A. Robin-
son, of Buffalo, N. Y.
The inquest on the bodies of John
Bailey and his hired min, found in
he ruins of a building destroyed by
re near Wiarton last Thursday night
a s
tecloe horrible e ho 1bIe murder. The
en had been killed with an axe or
imiliar cutting instrument, and were
hoeiringly disfigured. The most ex-
ert eflleere should he put upon this
ase, so that the perpetrators may be
peedly brought to punishment -
The mayoralty nomivation attract-.
d a largo crowd to the Ooutroil Chan:
er, who expeobed opposition to Mr.
owland, and consequent excitement.
. 0. Gurney, seconded by 1)r Ogden,
nominated Mr. Howland in a neat
speech, which was well received. The
latter, on oomiug forward, was greet-
ed with tumultuous ,cheering, whish
lasted several minutes. It is consist.
aced a sign of amity and good portent
that the meeting Was unanimously
favorable; His Worship received
numerous congratulations.
About twenty missionaries set sail
from New York on Saturday for the
Congo country. It costs about $5,
000, besides worlds of trouble, to put
a red undershirt on a native in the
interior of Africa. But atter the
work is all done, what a glorious
spectacle it is to see a Cbristianiztld
native standing around with the last
edition Bible under one arm and a
n105 juicy steak of missionary under
the other.
Accounts of the sea fishery from
81. John's Nfld., indicate splendid
season'sthe
cut s fog the boot. Scala
in great numbers are frequently seen
on the coast, and some thousande
have bean hauled ashore by people
living in the fishing villages at Various
points. At one place 4,8 many as
5,000 a day for several Clays in sue-
ceasiou havo been brought ashore
from the ieo. Tho steamer Leopard
has arrived at St. John, with between
15,000 and 16,000; and another ono
thought to bo the Nimrod, is reported
to bo on her way to some port with
a full fare. One or two coaeting
schooners I r have l t' i f Il loads
I have a nice lot of Baby Car-
t riogos on hand that the Public
slt,uld sae.
WHY
The Colum bus Watch
S THE BEST.
�III,E Alain Spring Barrel is completely
1 covered, malting it more nearly dust
proof than any other. Our Regulator is
nearly doable toil length of others, render-
ing accurate regulation a very simple mat-
ter. To replace a broken Main Spring the
Barrel can be removed witheet removing
the Balance or interfering with the regula-
tion. Otto hair Spring Stull is so formed
that two or more coils of Spring cannot
catch in the Rogulator.Pfns and cause the
Watch to eithor stop or gain time at an
unusual rate. The Balance tonnes ruder
the round, or edge, alto strongest part of
the ease, not as in all others in the contra
and under the weakest port These ado
improvements that cannot be claimed byamd
any other 111acturers. There are other
advantages which the watchmaker 08.11
readily explain, and once seen, all mast
with th us in saying that we 6a00 the
strongest and best watch in the world.
In buying and carrying a Oobimbue
Watch. you will save the price of an oval -
nary watch in a few years in repairs alone,
to say nothing of the inconvenience and de-
lay of repairs,
1''011 HALE A')'
Ve 01 alncd - u oa s In
the channel, and aro doing wolf, T. Fletcher 5a Brussels.;
They aro Well made, nicely
finished and will ha Soli. at
Reasonable Prices.
SM
llamas g Collars!
and everything in the harness lint
on hand.
Also Trunks, Valises, Satchels,
dro., t o.
H. DENNIS.
firtHE GREAT TEIOROUGIIj'ABE 'CO
1
THE NORTHWEST.
the Stir Paull Minneapolis a Manitoba
with its 1,500 miles of road. It is the only
line extending through the Park Region of
Minnesota, to alt principal points in Red
River Valley, Northern Minnesota, North-
ern Dakota. The Shortest Route to Fargo,
Moorhead, Sauk Centre, 1Vahp eton, Cassel -
ton, Breckenridge. and Morris.
The Only Line to Grand Forks, Grafton ,
Mayville, Loriniore, Devils Lako, Crooks-
ton, Portland, dope, Winnipeg, Millsboro,
Ada, Alsxendria, and to
DEVILS LAKE AND
TURTLE MOUNTAIN DIST'S,
in which there 08 now the largest area of
the most desirable vacant Government
Lands in the United States. The lands of
the St. Paul, Minneapolis & Manitoba Rail-
way Co. in Minnesota are particularly de-
sirable for all classes of farming, are offer-
ed at very low prices, and easy terms of
payment, and it will be to the advantage of
all seeking new homes, to examine then be-
fore purchasing elsewhere.
Maps and pamphlets describing the court -
try, giving ratan Of fare to settlers, etc.
mailed FREE to any address, by
JAMES 13. POWER,
Land and Immigration Comm r.
C. II. WARREN,
General Passenger Agent,
St. P. M. & 11. R'y., Sr. PAUL, MINN,
1
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