HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Brussels Post, 1889-5-10, Page 3MAY 10, 1589,
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AT 1'31f f,illc9,1.:' ;MUM,
now dear to my heart is the old speckled
waiter
Which fond recollection brings back to
my 'view,
iritis spurs lung told pointed and cur, -
Mu, he used ter
Co crowing around till he'd make the
air bice ;
And when some atraugo rooster would
ewe to de battle,
IIow quick would the old chap get up
ou his guard 1
IIe'd ranko the eyeballs of the strange
rooster rattle,
And scatter his feathers all over the
yard ;
The old speckled rooster, the mongrel.
bred rooster,
The iltty cent rooster that scrapped In
the yard 1
GOOD TEMPER.
There's not a cheaper thing on earth,
Nor yet one halt ro dear ;
;Xs worth more than distinguished birth
Or thousands gained a year.
It lends the Say a new delight,
'Ti's Virtue's firmest shield ;
And adds more beauty to the night
Than all the stars can yield.
It maketh Poverty content,
To sorrow whispers peace;
It is a gift from heaven Bent,
For mortals to increase.
It meets you with a smile at morn,
It lulls you to repose ;
A • flower for peer and peasant born,
An everlasting rose.
A. charm to banish grief away—
To snatch the brow from care ;
'Turn tears to smiles, make dullness gay,
Spread gladness everywhere.
And yet 'tis sweet as summer dew
That gems lite lily's breast ;
J S talisman for love as true
As•ever man poeeeeeed,
"What :maythis wondrous spirit be,
With power unheard before—
This charm, this bright amenity ?
Good temper—nothing more 1
,Good temper—'tis the choicest gift
That woman homeward brings,
.And can the poorest peasant lift
To bliss unknown to kings.
At the (tench Show.
An Irish Better—A stone mason.
Newfoundland—Oklahoma.
Spitz—A cigarette smoker.
Black and tan—A. Negro.
Pointer—Tho index finger.
Deerhound—Bought for $500.
11'awn in'a Weight When Just Hight.
If 5 feet in height, 100 pounds.
if 5 feet 1 inch, 100 pounds.
If 5 feet 2 inches, 118 pounds.
If 5 feet 8 inched, 119 pounds.
If 5 feet 4 inches, 180 pounds.
If 5 feat 5 inches, 188 pounds.
If 5 feet 0 inches, 144 pounds.
If 5 feet 7 incbee, 150 pounds.
It 5 feet 8 inches, 155 pounds.
It 5 feet 9 inches, 168 pounds.
If 5 feet 10 inches, 169 pounds.
If 5 flet 31 inoliee,176 pounds.
if 6 feet, 180 pounds.
If 6 foot 1 inch, 186 pounds.
I'll`H•111E•UPS.
•
Oen the sailor who splines the
topmast be termed a high -binder.
Balcl-heeded women would draw
well et a mussnm. and wouldn't be
objected 10 in a theatrical audience
either,
Thole is 0 Ileal of spirit shown
among asters when 'the ghost walks.'
You may depend upon the foot
that en auctioneer is pleased when
his audience has more -bid feelings.
Wire an Solomon was, he never
knew exactly which was the butt
end of a goat.
Both lawyers and tai'ibre are now
kept busy on spring suite.
The Emperor of China has ten
mien whose sole duty it is to carry
his umbrella. What a powerful rain
his must be l
The glass of fashion ie nor•a-dare
;worn below the nose, and a clove is
taken afterwards,
When a farmer has his chickens
stolen he builds ,another hen -roost
tt' reieoop himself.
CdOECLES.
.N.1 Missing country—Ore./
Two Republioana—'Pa' and 'Me.'
Southern beauties = The Misses
Ippir '
The nation's relative-Tinole'sam.'
Our siater—Qolumbia.
A eu't•tip German—A hamburger.
Harrison's furniture—The Prost -
dental chair,
A. liquid guillotine—Liquor.
A spicy Ih ehman-A pepporedtt
potato.
Tho prisoner's whiskey—A chain-
ed 'ball.'
An oriental bird --Turkey.
A'polioy' conveyance—The gig.
Barbarian arehitoeturo — Gobble
style.
Speoulativo quadrupeds —• Bulls
and bears. ,
A splice --,.The sailor's marriage.
The boarding=house mongrel•--
'Hash'—siek 'eta.
A compounder of felony -- The
bartender.
An anglemaniac—Tho fisherman..
Hard to swallow—Tho ancient
chestnut.
,A. •porcine sprout—The rooting
hog.
An oMontt'htat'•-'1'110 policeman's.
IHE
°err sz xx^^ ..
1'40ft 1'f1It8'' IEN.
FOOLING Tilt', OLD MAN.
A i+nanrl Coy Who 'nought 0' wrn,iial
4e, Earn ITIlit rrls rather.
My boy Him hoe a passion for
dogs. lie is not particular About
the kind of dog it ie. Anything
that has hair on 11 and rune on four
loge is good enough for hiw. I ob
jootto dogs myself. A clog to n+,
use on earth. Ile gets away with
wore food than a large sized, over-
grown family, and then lies around
all day digests ib. If your best friend
comets to call on you at night your
dog will jump on him and tear hire
limb from limb ; but a burglar can
dome in and ransack 0 house while
the dog lies on the door mat with
one eye open and says nothing. I
am speaking now of big dogs. A
small dog is worse than a big ono.
A small dog is all Bing. If a pin
drops in the book yard lie will rouse,
the whole neighborhood, He sticks
up his nose at bread and butter and
his meas has to be cut bias or ho
wont eat it, A dog is a manufae.
tory for fleas. A dog so small he
gets lost in 0 tiger akin rug and will
breed floes enough to worry an
army. These are some of my ob-
jections to dogs. I have tried to
bring Sim over to my view, but
without avail. Ile don't see it in
that light. He will spend hours
trying to think up some scheme to
entice our next door neighbor's dog
over in my back yard. Then he
will throw one arra around the dog's
neck and tie a can to his tail with
the other, and have a great time
generally.
The other dny Sim came into the
house and said :
"Pa, I want a dog."
"Oh, yon do, do you ? Well,
you won't get one.il
In a few minutes be Caine around
again.
"Say, pa, I want a dog,,,
"Get out."
A pause.
"Say, pa."
"Well 2"
"Jim Todd's got a dog he don't
want. Jim says he'll sell him for a
dollar. He don't eat much. Jim
says so. Say, pa, can't 1 gethim?"
"No," I roared. "Get out of here
or I'll wallup you."
In about half an hour Sim came
back.
"Say, go."
"What do you want ?"
"To -morrow will be April Fools'
day."
"What of it ?"
"Nuthin'. Bat I hoard Sam
Tucker say he and some other fel-
lows were goin' to raise the mischief
'round hero to -morrow mornin'."
I knew Tucker. He'd played
tricks on me before, and he was one
of the worst boys in the neighbor-
hood.
"They are, aro they ?" said .1.
"Well, what are they going to do ?"
"Satn said they wuz comin'
around in tho mornin' before you
wuz up and coin' to make things
lively. _He said they wuz goin' to
take the fount gate and put it on
one of the traria in the orchard.
They wuz goin' to take down the
clothes line and do lots of things
besides." s
"Huh t" said I, "we'll dee about
that."
That night I set the alarm sleek
at 4. I woke up promptly the next
morning and went out in the back
yard to wait for Sam Tucker and
his gang. While I was sitting be-
hind the treo waiting, and looking
at the barn, suddenly the door open-
ed and a big dog with blood in hie
eye Dame bounding out. Bight af-
ter hila name my eon Sim. Sim
wasn't afraid of the dog, but 1 was.
So 1 climbed up the tree just •as the
dog arrived. He seemed disap-
pointed. "Sim," said I, "where did
you get that. dog 2 Didn't I tell
you a would allow no dogs around
my premieee ? Take that beast
away and never let me seo him
again. 1 am surprised at you.
What do you mean sir 2"
Sim got up on the fence and
looked at mo. So did the dog, Then
I began to realize the situation. It
was April Fools' day. I was the
fool.
"Bay, pa," said Sim, "can't I
have that dog ? It's Jim Todd's."
"You just wait until I get down
out of this tree," I roared, "I'll
show you whether you can havo that
dog. 'rake him away or'1'11 wallup
you within as inch of your life."
But Sim didn't move. Neither did
the dog. I stayed there until brook•
fast time, and then the hired loan
oamo oat and shot the dog. Sim
didn't' know who he was fooling
With. „ No doge aro allowed around
my promises. It \vas a bad day for
Sim.
Winnipeg will havo a summer
carnival and wheat palace hl Aug.
use.
Sineo New Year's, Mr, Blain, of
Dundas, ltae killed 18 foxes and 7.
skunks.
The brs1, slut) on retard-•-It'itther
Tiler.
ll.rrk it ,tn 1:6iat•k nuts.
Short hordes—Ponies.
Left at the past—Letters.
Futurity stall; ;---A wealthy luau's
money,
The ,.;rand priz,^—Eternal life,
Well bunched -Strings of banauiw,
A strong favorite—Tun Posy.
hater a strong pull --A loaded
freight train.
Very croaked work--lf'urdwriting.
Promising youngsters--- Sad boys
after being whipped.
Out for the mousy—Orackemsn.
Great odda—Mu sum freaks,
In the 2.14 Blass—Sweet sixteen:
Takes the dust- Street' cleaners.
'fumbles to himself—e1 porpoieo.
Famous plungers --Whales.
A waiting race—Negroes.
A spring meeting—Muster of the
house-cleaning brigade.
Pookelorl—Hand kerohiefs,
Interesting Statistics,
A Germain statistician says :
There are at present 8,064 langua-
gce spoken by the inhabitants of our
globe, witoso religious convictions
are divided between 1,000 different
confessions of faith. The number
of males is nearly equal to that of
the femalos. The average duration
of life is 88 years. One fourth of
the population of the earth dies be.
fore attaining tho 17th year. Of
1,000 persona only one reaches the
age of 100 years, and not more than
six that of 65 years. The entire
population of the globe is upward of
1,200,000,000, of whom 85,214,.
000 die every year ; 96,480 every
day ; 4,020 every hour ; 07 every
minute, and one and a fraction
every second. Married people live
longer than the unmarried, the tem
prate and industrious longer than
the gluttons and idle, and civilized
nations longer than the uncivilized
Tall persona enjoy a greater longe-
vity, than small ones. Women have
a more favorable chance of tiro bo•
fore reaching their 50th year than
men, but a loss favorable one after
that period. The proportion of
married persons to single one is as
75 to 1,000. Persona born in spring
have a more robust constitution
than those born at other seasons..
Births and deaths oecnr more fre
quenbly at night than in the day
time. It may finally be added that
ouly ono -fourth of the male inhab
itants of the globe grow up to earry
arms or perform military service.
V+t1. s111on Noted.
Tho Hacking veil is moribund.
Toques grow more pointed in
front.
The toa grown bins fair to livo
forever.
A now shade of pink is called raw
veal.
Green remains the color most in
vogue.
Spring willow ie to lovely shade of
golden green.
The peacock's feathers are no
longer in vogue.
Pompoiian blue looks royal and
boauti'ulin velvets and pluahes.
The favorite rose for white and
rose talk bonnets is the eglantine.
Black mull, drawn hats and bon-
nets aro in fashion for country
wear.
.Bound •waists and belts' are grad-
ually displacing pointed bodices and
basques.
The yellow mimosa is a favorite
trimming flower this spring ou black
hats and bonnets.
Dresses of pale green crepe de
chino are now fashionable with blaok
gloves and ribbons.
The ball gown of the passing
month is a poem of freshness, gauzy
lightness tinct simplicity.
The latest fanny in finger bowls
into have them quite small and
of mottled white, pink and clear
glass.
Wider and wider iu front and
narrower in the back grow tho
brims of this season's low•orotroed
hats.
The newest blue is the wonderful
Pompeiiau, the brightest and most
difficult of all blues to produce.
The striped tennis gown as well
as the hooch gown is frequently
worn with a striped Cowes cap to
thatch it.
The newest fabric for little girls'
wear is plaided mohair, light in
texture and artlfitie in color com-
binations,
The moot fashionable bonnets are
not much bigger th iu brio's fist and
are guiltless of flowers, feathers or
birds.
Tho newest tea gowns aro the
mediaeval with outr'aas corsages, full
skirts, and antique sleeves of every
variety.
Brilliant striped beach gowns,
with Cowes caps of the striped stuff
to match, aro in preparation for tho
seaside,
Many new shades of groan have
been brought nut os rivals to the
atilt faeltiouaolo empire green of
brightest emerald hue,
USSE'iO$
OST
Het crowns grow lowor.
AeeorIion pleating la in -high
fa hien at. the mamma, elle witiq
ar•If illy.❑ n„Jf sisal tu',:;t ,•xp,iu
III\'II awll.tyla111 ,.town's of the nose
1 00n,
I Next in favor to green come
shades ofred-brown, dull brick, sorra
(iota, and Egyptian red arWoli
are 01'.:u in both dark nad light
shades.
Tho new jerseys are made in
many different ways, re.tembliu , fu
cut and style the most fashionable
bodices of Directory, Lmpirs•, and
Josephine gowns
Among other laoe novelties of the
toilet are Spanish pelorines—bhtok
lace shoulder capes with long swarf
ends that fall to the bottom of the
dress skirt,
Old rose and crushed strawberry
shades are again fully established iu
fashionable favor, but they aro much
improved, being fear more creamy
and delicitto.
`.Phe wrap in highest favir is the
OLIO tba. partakes of both the jacket
and nape, 0 tight fitting bodice,
without sloevos, over which a louse
cape reaches to the waist.
The green parasol is not slow to
malting its appearance. The cost-
liest ones are pale tinted outside
with a Iiniug of almost silver, the
whole covered with ruffles of white
lace.
Good Words.
A. wise man is worth a fool's life.
— [Arabic.
Love is satisfied only with love. -
[Pythagoras. [Pythagoras.
Time will disoover everything to
posterity; it is a babbler, and
speaks even when no question is
asked.— [Euripides.
Sorrow for having done amiss is
fruitless if it issue not in doing so
no
Mon.—Plans!) Horne,
Oonsiateney 10 a ja'ivo1, because
it is crystallized life, of which truth
is the organizing principle.— [Own.
We little dream 01 the conflict
S'ougbt in each human soul,
And earth knows cot of how herao1
Upon God's honor Roil,
The power to hate truly what is
evil must bo involved iu the power
to love truly what is good, and
must, indeed, usually precede the
growth of the highest kind of Joys. -
[Newman.
A little light too much, and you
are blind ; a little too muob sound,
and you are deaf. Perhaps a little
more knowledge of God and immor-
tality than is 15110501 us hero would
dethrone reason. So I Hit iu the
even -tide shadows, and say, "lly
God, give me patieueo to wait.”—
[Elizabeth Taompsou.
The debt on St, Jaynes' aileron,
Stratford, is $5,750.
Mrs. Poulsoinbe, of SI. 'Blooms,
died on Tuesday, aged 05.
.L ltrmers ,wound Windsor will
raise tobacco leaf exteusivety this
summer.
Lends and Grenville ropealod the
Scott Act, by over 1,000 majority
A grower of onions near Brant
ford tort 1,500 bushels, which rot
ted fu the collars where stored.
illr. Bigger, of St. Catharines, Iota
an old pistol which eves used at the
battle of Quebec in'1759,
Alfred Aunts, of Oaledonbt, N.S.,
who planted potatoes iu 1118 field 011
the 18111 March, has u" .v the pleas-
ure of eeevig their sprouts above
ground.
ACTS AT THE GAME TIME ON
THE NERVES,
THE LIVER,
TiHE BOWELS,
and tho t.IDNEYS
This combined action gives it won-
derful power to cure all diseases.
Why Are We Sick?
Ilecause we allow the nerves to
remain weakened and irritated, and
these great organs to become clogged .1
or torpid, and poisonous honors are
therefore forced into the blood that
should lie expelled naturally.
PAINE'S CELERY "y
COMPOUND
;MILL Cl711E DIEIOne/ass I'I.LEa
oONBTIPA0ION, EIDNEY 0076
PLAINTS, IIILINAIST ffisaAszs,
'ir Ar.EWEARNEes,REEu8A. 1.
TI6Ie, untntaLOIA,. AND ALO
xinnVODS nuenumRs,
by, quieting and strengthening the
nerves, nncl causing free settee of the
liverbowels, and kidneys, and restor-
ing their power to threw otT disease.
Why angor liilioas Pains and Aches]
Why tarmonton wits Pilot], Oonetipatlont
Why frightened avorPisordared1idnoyel
Why endure nervous or dolt headaches?
Why Immo !flapless nights,
Use Pnrsn's Cn,amv C.oenrolittb and 1
rejoice in health. 111s An entirely vegeta.
bio remedy, harmless in all cases,. 1'
& A3hy. all Rau ills. Priya six*.
s1a', or' gs.00: 1'
WELLS,illellAiei?N 111CC.,Proprlotora, l'
11101,711t11AI„ r, ta,
rens rae
CARTS, CROO,UET SETS
and land Baolgets
"TEl
C 1—k/? V- 1 -
°DST" BOOKSTORE..
All the`n.ecessary School Supplies
kept in. Stock.
The 'Golden. Padlock,'
Every Housekeeper shoul d
Call at MoKAT & Co.'s
HARDWARE STORE and
See the New
Carpet Stretcher.
It is a Dandy and may be
secured at a Low Price.
.. Stock of Lath, Shingles
and Builders' Supplies always
on Hand.
We;havc a Handsome Line of
SIL VE] W 6'R.E,
very Suitable for Birthday
or Wedding Presents.
s CALL IN AND SEE ITS..
A. M. MaiAY & Co.
•
ETHEL
KIST AND FLIUR MILLS
The undersigned having completed the change from the stone t;
the celebrated Hungarian System of Grinding, has now the Mill in
First -Class Running Order
and will be glad to see all his old customers and all many 2201\
ones as possible;
Pim and Feed Alwa:ra on nand.
Highest Price ,livid for any quantity of Good Grain.
Ld L. MILNE.