Loading...
The Brussels Post, 1889-1-25, Page 3kf. Jell, 26, 1880. CONFUSION (►1' TUOUGIUT. A writer in Longman a lylagnzine hoe beon giving saran capital illus tratioia of the ooufnsea ideas which cliildron aro apt to derive from thoir teachers and lesson books. They aro taken from English exominatiou papevs. No doubt Collodion teachers oonld furnish tunny equally droll in Mallow. ()no composttiou startod Cff in the followiau fatthiou ; /Lhe man Jacob was by trade a patriarch. But bo didn't Urin.t up his Bona to be patriarchs, coo they didn't take to it, oxeepe Joseph. lin had twolvo sous, and behold thorn was a lamino in the laud. In them trays people lived ort ecru, like ltorse•. do now ; not on wales and ten. The patriarch Jaeoo moves oat soar Only nuthin', except shun there wii a -famine." Am, her yonilmftil totoeyiet 'alts how "Samson bacamc very endue for hogot eourtin' a yonug woman who was :t ruls•tiomt of the wiokod Phillistius." This was duly "improved" by the following uen•iblo remarks: -"lieu should hover court young women from tither countries, except they are good. Nova mind about them beim; uioe louping, if they aro ant good." And, as if warmed up into a fit of virinous indignation against having anything to do with girls who aru merely pretty, our essayist finishes off by saying :-"Why. this young woman aetsholly worshipped them ugly little imiges sot yev seed nate. shenaries bring in Gaga uud put in a row on the table." Now, such writers were not notes - t arily stupid. To ail appearances they wore quito otherwise. But they were confused in their ideas, as well as imperfect in their iuformntion, and perhaps their teaebore were not n little to blame for such a state of things. Where all were so original and so delightfully fresh, it may perhaps bo wrong to givtr any one the palm. Stilt the author of the following scents ontitl'U t•r'fav,mob lenoon tiou' itt any rata :-"Cate have nine livescs, but which is seldom requir- r,t in this country cause of Chris tienity." Ituperfoat routine toacbing may bo expeotod to have jast such re Belts. .l Scoichn.an's Prayer. During a severe storm on the meat coast of Scotland a fisherman nomad Donald McTavish was in great danger of being wrecked and losing lois life. Though seldom in the habit of praying, his great danger forced him to attempt it prayer. This is reported to have beon his original appoal :-''Oh, ach, mighty Lord, look door for two three =suite, if ye're uo very throng, on me ate' my helpless coble, and thite big waters that wants us to be drooned, and bring the shore book to the boat again. An', oh, Lord, it's Donald McTavish wi' tho red Heid that's askin' Yo, an' no Donald McTavislt that loaves in the middy, with the bowly legs; ate it's no Donate eloTavieh wi' the humpy back, that stole the coo. It's jiet me, an' Ye ken, I dinna fosh Ye oftou." Then as 0 big wave nearly engutphod the frail craft, "And mind, oh Lord, Ye moon see an' mak' tine mistake about it. Mind, Donald IaicTavish wi' the red hetet." .t:4 OTtiritti 111.E US. "This," said the returned adis- siounry to tho Poor Heathen whom ho hod brought over, "is n church." And the Pour Heathen greatly admired the church, By and by he asked : "Who is the fat man with the big entail seal, who looks at the church as though he thought some of put - tin; on n fifty -dollar bay window mid raising Lhe rent to $500 a year," "That is a trttsteo," said the re• turned missionary. "IIs does moat of the praying, J; suppose 2" said Lho Poor heathen, who, in leis blinduose, knows very littlo about the way we do these things. "No," said tho returned mission. ary, "Ito doosn't believe in praying ; he is a J3ob Ingersoll man, and be - Revco that nobody doesn't know nothing, and that they know that he knows that they know ho knows they don't. Ile is not a member of tiro church, but he is a good clear- headed buainoee man, good 'tonal?. er, strong on roar estate deals, and eo he's a trustee. Doesn't take very moll of a Ohristian La be a trnstos, oxoept in the country, In town a church ouly wants a good busiuoes man for trustee," "And who ie the man who stands in the door and glares at the people as they pass in and trios to keep thorn out?" aekod filo Poor Mone then. "That is tho sexton," replied the miselonary. "Tie doesn't bolieve in opouing the ehnroh ter religione I i 1• pervioe at all. fro nye the cburoh was built to hero 'well tvedtlitags Jo, ttud that for pruaclliug and prayer meotings and outer aide showe of that nature tits trtratnai should 11110 a hall." "Who is tion vary young mart who pnshve pooplo out of the tray that he may hnvo room to pass in, and stoops vory low os ho caters tee twenty foot door, aria site di. reotly uudor the steeple lost he ,itould strike his Mend when be '.toads up ?" Thar," said the returned inis• sionary, "le the uuw superinton,l„nt of tho Sunday School. ;Choy aro itil that way at fleet. fly and by, when ho hoe forgotten uvory lino of 148 beautiful specele wlten Blore aro itietiuguiebed strangers prueeitt, wh::u 0" has e'ar+od tho wrong tnno to au entirely strant;o hymn, and (1)1rco,od hitnsolf by et'lkiui the right tone on tt key to high that the Charts of Norruitttdy cotildo't riug It second bass to it; when ho has flunked fair and equt,ru, and out ugh:, ou tine firs tett questions Ju the rjnoetion box, be wet know lees by it ton Luau Ito does now, and be a good, morn!, caaueet,:old humble supe.riutondout. Il'i';t ouly youeq and now, like au August porsim- moo." 'Duro comes the owner of the church, ' the Poor Tloathen said. "He looks as though he had (10001 - el to inako petumiean of the sexton and trustees, and not hold any ser- vice to -day," - "No, that is not exactly the own- er of the church," the returned mis- sionary eaid ; "that is tho leader of the choir." "Who is teat 'nook, timid little man who is trying to creop m with- out letting the sexton seo him, and who has just taken off his Lott to the leader of the choir ?" "Oh, tbat is Duly the pastor of the cburob," the returned mniseion• ary replied. "Will you goinsido ?" And the Poor Heathen said he would, because he rather gueesod, from their looks, the sexton and tho leader of the choir hod mitio up their minds to settle that morning which of thu two ehotil I take the church and run it.-Burdotto. Carl Pretzel's I'iellortopitr. I vonee run on an errand. I vish it bad been a b,tnna-peel. Charity seldom dond't sthop of her house in coil vedder. Ofer yon vis lofo to admire, fall yourself a mnd•pucldle in. It don'd vas der feller mit a clov• en foot dot vac der shpioiest shpoak- er. Vhen you throw laziness dor vin• dory out, der teller got plenty coal in dot. It vas all right to beau goot for someting. A. feller 000d shpout more religion in fife minoote at ho cowl bractice by his whole life. Der bulliest (root dot der dust of dis earth prodused vas a feller dot got plaindy gratitood iu bis frame vorks. Nefor dont look to found der be hindband in your friend. You don't could took someting out of dot (laud. A goot many fellers hafs two sea- sons. A tattering dot vas oomu gwielc, uud a full clot vas gwtok,uad a fall that vae so gwoker lilto der deuce. Yon (tan only been a great etle- eoed in dis bre viten der socds vitt you plant vos full of dheir outeides in mit good shtuffin' Der trolicks of der eldt man, and der efile of tbttt, doutl't should bo hautet down to dor poy oxoept lie vane dot. Dor bug bed vas a sbmall quad. roped, but Ile yoost dor feller dot rood make tt man trait a chiant in• delleck feel for him. Condentmeut vas der sugar 0nd der milk en der cafe:mop of life, and der reason yon cloud get some ab- breoiatious of it vas because dor brine to got 11 vas not high ub. 1I1alel a,.S1011. Josiah A. Haywood; sexton, of the Church of the TJuity, Boston, has recently celebrated his ei.lvor wedding, Among the incidents of the festive occasion was tho readlug of a letter front Rev. B. J. Savage, hie pistol•, in which he said :- '1 liropose therefor-enttrely for your own good -to suggest a few faults. If yoti only manage to euro these, you will heyo to bosoms the ideal eoxton, and Yen eau commend a salary of $10,000.year, or per. Laps earn room than that by travol. ling with Barnum cis tiro. greatest curiosity of the age. Tho faults I Allude to aro such as thoso '1. Yon have not yet leaned how to to make rho church hot and cool at tho samo time. You must learn tow to him ono pew mark 775 dogreee Fahrenheit, while the next ono to 11 to down to a point whore it would bo eculfortablo for an Iuskfino, '2, You do not seem to kuoty I T ER haw to have a hoot circulation, 'dotty of fresh I(I Rua yet u0 11ty„ arty drat a€tywltsro. You taunt hivunt saw,, wit),to make all Leto drafts skip the pews where elite.motet and hold h'•aeod people sit. '3 You !moo not yet acquired the art of lowing the antral' flooded wall 'metMulti all the lambs aro shut at tho '101031time. Thisshculd be aituuded to at once, and yort ahnuld tilt offer any such p,or 3x• 0048 as that it is impossible. To a sexton n �tlaiug should be impossibtn. •f '. Y n urne: find out sumo Ivey of giving ovorybody rho best sant, right to the oeutro of tiro hoose, no mutton whether the pews aro alreadyut full ur n. '5. You Must learn how to fill all rho paws :l:11 strangers without mailing 'toad' abo'tt it, ,tn,i rat this same time hnvo plenty of room loft iil regr Ito holdurs. 0. Autl, finally, you will stood your loisut•e time in inventing a patent °Introit that ehitll be jolt warm 311011'411 endnwenn;et 100 wenn; not two draughty, hu' wi'h jest draught 0non 1It : where .,1l bit pen pie 30)lit!"v"r 5",ie mantel, oral or phylcel condition, evi11 bit per t' footle• C ,uf able ; 'um l---ornwuing tohirverucnt of nil-tlutt elute Iowa all tie. Heats iu the ruiddlo. 'Wheat is it stxtuu for, anyhow, if he can't pieaso everybody at the ettMO tune ?' SSELS POST n The fine lion, Romeo, the pride t of Toronto no, is dead lee booting is a now itumeo )ear on Liao big pond at Gale A company bite beon organized to I bore 'or gas In Cbotham. Kingston has spent $70,000 in extending their waster •vor!cu. Jus. Agnow, of DutidalJo, caught Iwo wild Date alive last wr.ok. 'rh 1 ,vat artt•ori1 by-law ill(J 0telrtn toes ,s earti'by a majority of two. Ovur rj225,000kvae event in build, ins* rat S utl( Ste. Marie Inst yearurat Propurty has jbeen sold on linin St.. Winuipog for $500 per foot, Thatlsttuds of Bottle aro reporto'l ou the lei east of 1lltnitioua:au, Quo. Tito Provincial Exhibition will be hid this your at Loudou, Sept. 11th to 11th. CIJ,) .Y w:t.tti 111)10 hill. 'I'11•, e hears'. 0110 14 at)i) Iliile7 ashy 1tt A:; :s pi1nti„1tt8r"d by tin Oakville butehor la.t aortic had only one kidney. 'elm so! 134 or 511 Mayor of Ham ilt',u Into been iuer:xt'w1 from $1200 to $1700 Tho Jumbo -mon of Lilo Ottawa Valley use 20,000 barrels of pork ea011 inter, Jax•utavur Joie D. Clement, of Brame rd, died of paralyeis on tion• day, aged 90 A St. Thomas man has just filled an seder for 300 pigoons for the Torouto gun Blab. The 13rnntford Council voted X400 to the Mayor, and $20 to each of the reporters. John Dock, hotel keeper at the Humber, picked a mushroom in the field on Jan, 5th. 0. W. Gauthier, of Windsor, hat just put five ears sf Manitoba white- fish in his freezer, Chatbam had a wedding last week between a mart of 72 years and a maid of 52 summers. The Presbyterians of Belmout have decided by a vote of 18 to 0, to have u church organ. Albert Ream barrister of Oriliia, whowos killed on the railway, had his life insured for $40,000 One day last week A. .Parrott, of Huntsville, tfuskolca,picked a hand- ful of fiowars in tho open garden. Jos. Emile, of Gushes, aged years and 7 mouths, thank half a pint of brandy ou Saturday and died. Oovid Blain, of Aldershot, trapped four foxes this season all w itltiu a mile and a half of the limits of Hamilton. One of tho Candidates for muni- cipal !Ignore in Mono township be. came insane over the excitement and anxiety. During the past year the Bain Wagon Works have sold $15,000 worth of their wagons to one firm in Winnipeg. The Biehop of Ontario lately con- firmed 80 persons, some of them over 80 years of age, in the mission of Sharbot Lake, An Acton editor has been present- ed with maple syrup made from sap run the day before Chrlstmnit, by Zimmerman Bros., on their farm noar Guelph. A number of years ago J. H. Neff, of Springfield, got poisouod by oat- ing a root in the bush. The poison line lately broken out on hie leg, and amputation may bu neoesanry to eavo hie life. On the 7th of January a plo wing bee took place on the farm of Win. Raspberry, Wed I'iamboro. Twelve acres were turned ovor and harrow- od, and looked its nioo as it it had been done in April. In one of Mr. Dwyer'e camps, Algoma, it troy containing five 16 feet logs which naiad 6040 foot, the butt log measured 58 inches on the stump nucl tbo top log 83 iuoltes, was Cul, skidded and hauled to the rivor, a distauoo of half a mile, in three hours under tho management of his practioel foreman, Janos Conway, who thinks probably it will be the largest tree taken out ort Bello River this season. A Oalnpbelltou, .Prince 'Edward Island, oorrespondout writes : Juo. Templeton le a blacksmith who owns a frtto specimen of the 'Eug. lish mastiff. Last week Mr. Tem- pleton Nita working itt his forgo• putting n new steel in the point of a pick. The steel was slightly burn- ed in the heating, and instead of welding, flew in half a dozen pieces. Ono piece Oro* tiro blaakarnith above tho right oye with such force as to foam itself in firm. Tho blacksmith etaggored ana fall bock. ward. How long ho was unoonsei= ous Ito does not know, but wino] ho revived ills dog lay in the middle of the shop crying almost like a human being and rubbing his jape Ju tho dust otitis floor. Tho piece of stool that had sttnck Me. Tom- pfoton lay a short distance from !ho dog. Timm faithlnl animal heal eoizod the hot etoel with his teeth and drawn it from elr. Templototm's head. Tho dogs monthwatt badly burned. NEAB8Ne. TINE ENI). Profossioual men who are io the sore and yellow leaf, figuratively speaking, aro thus enumerated :- Leo NHL, the pops, is 78. Ino. Gilbert, the actor, is 78. 'Von Moltke, the soldier, is 88. 0, W. Holmes, the poet, is 79. J. G Whittier, the poet, is 84. R. W. Woir, the pointer, is 85. Neal Dow, the reformer, is 84. J.. 8. Blackie, the scholar, is 79. J. G. Dana, the geologist, is 75, Alfred Tennyson, the poet, is 79. It'itt. Browning, the poet„ 1s 70, Octave Fonillet, the author, is 70, David D. Field, the lawyer, is 83. :rules Grevy, the statesman, is 81. John Bright, the statesman, is 77. John Friesson, the engineer, is 85. J. II. Newman, tho cardinal, is 87. 1'. D. Woolsey, ilia publicist, is 87. H. E. Manning, the cardinal, is 80. Geo. Bancroft, the historian, is 88. 1'. '2. Barnum, the showman, is 78. Jefferson Davis, the ex -rebel preaideut, is 80. A. G. Thurman, the statesman, is Iii. Simon Cameron, the statesman, is 80. Prince Bismarck, the statosmau, is 73. Hannibal Hamlin, the statesman, is 79. Peter R. Kenrick, the archbishop, is 82. James 1\2oCosb, the metapby. sickle), is 77. C oorge Ticknor Curtis, the lawyer is 70. Ferdinand de Lesseps, the engineer, is 88. Joan Louis efolasonier, thopaintor, is 76. P. A. P, Barnard, the collogo prositlent, to 70. William E. Gladstone, tho states. man, is 70. Alexaudee W. Kiuglake, the historian, is 77. Irolloollous ora .far The nicest bed is 11 pan of rising bread. The old maid to rho oat's good Samaritan. If it was nob for the nit T would bo nu manse I think I have a pretty nose when it is not scratched, The oven was about tho hottest place I woe over in, I ant blamed for a groat many things the girl breaks. In all my eeperionao I nover saw a oat bit with a bootjack. livery oat that gots on oar back ranee doson't Dome to ace me. When pooplo go to sit clown they Dever see I ata asleep in tho chair. When I can't get the ribbon off my Deck try to drag it in tlto diet. :If I hadn't talons the small boy would Clad no fun iu pulling my tail. Tho sailor is the only Duo who would , st oder hnvo a rat than a oal around. The Milt is and I can nevor ngroo as to the pliliio 'vhore I shall bring tip my latterly. ll![issis used 1,n loavo mo only ono kitten until aftoIva Witte she Iva her- self, and thou slue loft me two, 13,y the recent wee. of self denial he Saivntion Army In Canada clear- ed ovor ,$5,000, '11.031 tTel nuar<t rsperxneEe' ETHEL 1ST /UV FL'1J1: l " {Frglyr The undersigned having completed the change frittu the stone to the eelebrated Hungarian System of Grinding, ham now thtMill in First -Class Running Order and will be glad to see all his old customers and as many new - outs as possible. Pio= rad , `Mese,, J W a ,$ cal I- g Ibigl.test Yt'it•" p:titl for any quantity of Cru,,,' et roil!. VT iv/. MILNE . FARMER ! FAR1 E ! Look to Your Own Interest and get your eiristing done at Where you will get Flour second to none in the Dominion, and yiold per bushel equal to the highest. Chopping Done While You Wait. Farmers Can Have Manitoba Wheat Flour Without Extra Charge, if required. SPECIAL PRiCE GIVEN FOR 500-1b. LOTS OF FLOUR. All Kinds of Grain Bought; for Cash, CHOP, BRAN, SIIORTS, CIiACKEI) WHEAT ANI) GRAHAM FLOUR ALWAYS ON HAND AT THE NATIONAL oROLLBR MILLS, BRUSSELS, Oct 1, 3•m STE1WART & LO VV IOK. LARGE ASSORTMENT -OF- If you Want a Nobby Suit COM -H zit) ,_unvTHE LEMIItuG INfERGF9ANi TAILOIUN�Z AND GENT'S 9 FURNISHING ESTABLISHMENT. L SS \Va hnvo the Finest Assortment of Fancy Twoeds, 'Worsteds, Overeoatings and Partings that can bo shown in Brussels, also a splendid and well selected stock of Gent's Furnishings. Our Hats and Cats are of tho Latest Shapes. All will be sold at Moderate. Prices. Suits Got Up in Latest Styles anti Fits Guaranteed, Give Us a Call and be convinced of what we say. All 'Tweeds bought from us will bo cut Free of Charge. Hear What the Poet Says 'lrrali Pat Mike is that you see walkin down stltrate ' Stere its UMilke with a new suit from head to the fate ; And when did tits spalpoeu get fitted so nate ? Why up at Broadway -at 88. Thiiu Ross by's got us such illigant Tweeds, And everything else that a gintleman floods ; . They tato fit you up like an Ouid Country girt, And begor they'll not (late yon tor never.a tint. They'll suspend you.with Braces the loikc eoultln'tbo, Put a shirt on your back that will lit to a too ; rp110ir gloves and their stockings sure niver will wear - Andtheir tweeds taro warrnalted clever to tear. If you want hat or calf, or even a collar, -Jist call on the boys 1t will save you a dollar For bcdacl its the t)•uth I'm sphalkin to you, There is/everything there that is stylish and now. ROSS BROS., Cr,O�ll' IBES, te.ri.