The Brussels Post, 1889-1-25, Page 3kf.
Jell, 26, 1880.
CONFUSION (►1' TUOUGIUT.
A writer in Longman a lylagnzine
hoe beon giving saran capital illus
tratioia of the ooufnsea ideas which
cliildron aro apt to derive from thoir
teachers and lesson books. They
aro taken from English exominatiou
papevs. No doubt Collodion teachers
oonld furnish tunny equally droll in
Mallow. ()no composttiou startod
Cff in the followiau fatthiou ;
/Lhe man Jacob was by trade a
patriarch. But bo didn't Urin.t up
his Bona to be patriarchs, coo they
didn't take to it, oxeepe Joseph. lin
had twolvo sous, and behold thorn
was a lamino in the laud. In them
trays people lived ort ecru, like ltorse•.
do now ; not on wales and ten.
The patriarch Jaeoo moves oat soar
Only nuthin', except shun there wii
a -famine."
Am, her yonilmftil totoeyiet 'alts
how "Samson bacamc very endue
for hogot eourtin' a yonug woman
who was :t ruls•tiomt of the wiokod
Phillistius."
This was duly "improved" by the
following uen•iblo remarks: -"lieu
should hover court young women
from tither countries, except they
are good. Nova mind about them
beim; uioe louping, if they aro ant
good."
And, as if warmed up into a fit of
virinous indignation against having
anything to do with girls who aru
merely pretty, our essayist finishes
off by saying :-"Why. this young
woman aetsholly worshipped them
ugly little imiges sot yev seed nate.
shenaries bring in Gaga uud put in a
row on the table."
Now, such writers were not notes -
t arily stupid. To ail appearances
they wore quito otherwise. But they
were confused in their ideas, as well
as imperfect in their iuformntion,
and perhaps their teaebore were not
n little to blame for such a state of
things.
Where all were so original and so
delightfully fresh, it may perhaps bo
wrong to givtr any one the palm.
Stilt the author of the following
scents ontitl'U t•r'fav,mob lenoon tiou'
itt any rata :-"Cate have nine
livescs, but which is seldom requir-
r,t in this country cause of Chris
tienity."
Ituperfoat routine toacbing may
bo expeotod to have jast such re
Belts.
.l Scoichn.an's Prayer.
During a severe storm on the
meat coast of Scotland a fisherman
nomad Donald McTavish was in great
danger of being wrecked and losing
lois life. Though seldom in the
habit of praying, his great danger
forced him to attempt it prayer.
This is reported to have beon his
original appoal :-''Oh, ach, mighty
Lord, look door for two three
=suite, if ye're uo very throng, on
me ate' my helpless coble, and thite
big waters that wants us to be
drooned, and bring the shore book
to the boat again. An', oh, Lord,
it's Donald McTavish wi' tho red
Heid that's askin' Yo, an' no Donald
McTavislt that loaves in the middy,
with the bowly legs; ate it's no
Donate eloTavieh wi' the humpy
back, that stole the coo. It's jiet
me, an' Ye ken, I dinna fosh Ye
oftou." Then as 0 big wave nearly
engutphod the frail craft, "And
mind, oh Lord, Ye moon see an'
mak' tine mistake about it. Mind,
Donald IaicTavish wi' the red hetet."
.t:4 OTtiritti 111.E US.
"This," said the returned adis-
siounry to tho Poor Heathen whom
ho hod brought over, "is n church."
And the Pour Heathen greatly
admired the church, By and by
he asked :
"Who is the fat man with the big
entail seal, who looks at the church
as though he thought some of put -
tin; on n fifty -dollar bay window
mid raising Lhe rent to $500 a
year,"
"That is a trttsteo," said the re•
turned missionary.
"IIs does moat of the praying, J;
suppose 2" said Lho Poor heathen,
who, in leis blinduose, knows very
littlo about the way we do these
things.
"No," said tho returned mission.
ary, "Ito doosn't believe in praying ;
he is a J3ob Ingersoll man, and be -
Revco that nobody doesn't know
nothing, and that they know that he
knows that they know ho knows
they don't. Ile is not a member of
tiro church, but he is a good clear-
headed buainoee man, good 'tonal?.
er, strong on roar estate deals, and
eo he's a trustee. Doesn't take
very moll of a Ohristian La be a
trnstos, oxoept in the country, In
town a church ouly wants a good
busiuoes man for trustee,"
"And who ie the man who stands
in the door and glares at the people
as they pass in and trios to keep
thorn out?" aekod filo Poor Mone
then.
"That is tho sexton," replied the
miselonary. "Tie doesn't bolieve in
opouing the ehnroh ter religione I
i
1•
pervioe at all. fro nye the cburoh
was built to hero 'well tvedtlitags Jo,
ttud that for pruaclliug and prayer
meotings and outer aide showe of
that nature tits trtratnai should 11110
a hall."
"Who is tion vary young mart
who pnshve pooplo out of the tray
that he may hnvo room to pass in,
and stoops vory low os ho caters
tee twenty foot door, aria site di.
reotly uudor the steeple lost he
,itould strike his Mend when be
'.toads up ?"
Thar," said the returned inis•
sionary, "le the uuw superinton,l„nt
of tho Sunday School. ;Choy aro
itil that way at fleet. fly and by,
when ho hoe forgotten uvory lino of
148 beautiful specele wlten Blore aro
itietiuguiebed strangers prueeitt,
wh::u 0" has e'ar+od tho wrong tnno
to au entirely strant;o hymn, and
(1)1rco,od hitnsolf by et'lkiui the
right tone on tt key to high that the
Charts of Norruitttdy cotildo't riug
It second bass to it; when ho has
flunked fair and equt,ru, and out
ugh:, ou tine firs tett questions Ju
the rjnoetion box, be wet know lees
by it ton Luau Ito does now, and be
a good, morn!, caaueet,:old humble
supe.riutondout. Il'i';t ouly youeq
and now, like au August porsim-
moo."
'Duro comes the owner of the
church, ' the Poor Tloathen said.
"He looks as though he had (10001 -
el to inako petumiean of the sexton
and trustees, and not hold any ser-
vice to -day," -
"No, that is not exactly the own-
er of the church," the returned mis-
sionary eaid ; "that is tho leader of
the choir."
"Who is teat 'nook, timid little
man who is trying to creop m with-
out letting the sexton seo him, and
who has just taken off his Lott to the
leader of the choir ?"
"Oh, tbat is Duly the pastor of
the cburob," the returned mniseion•
ary replied. "Will you goinsido ?"
And the Poor Heathen said he
would, because he rather gueesod,
from their looks, the sexton and tho
leader of the choir hod mitio up
their minds to settle that morning
which of thu two ehotil I take the
church and run it.-Burdotto.
Carl Pretzel's I'iellortopitr.
I vonee run on an errand. I
vish it bad been a b,tnna-peel.
Charity seldom dond't sthop of
her house in coil vedder.
Ofer yon vis lofo to admire, fall
yourself a mnd•pucldle in.
It don'd vas der feller mit a clov•
en foot dot vac der shpioiest shpoak-
er.
Vhen you throw laziness dor vin•
dory out, der teller got plenty coal
in dot.
It vas all right to beau goot for
someting.
A. feller 000d shpout more religion
in fife minoote at ho cowl bractice
by his whole life.
Der bulliest (root dot der dust of
dis earth prodused vas a feller dot
got plaindy gratitood iu bis frame
vorks.
Nefor dont look to found der be
hindband in your friend. You don't
could took someting out of dot
(laud.
A goot many fellers hafs two sea-
sons. A tattering dot vas oomu
gwielc, uud a full clot vas gwtok,uad
a fall that vae so gwoker lilto der
deuce.
Yon (tan only been a great etle-
eoed in dis bre viten der socds vitt
you plant vos full of dheir outeides
in mit good shtuffin'
Der trolicks of der eldt man, and
der efile of tbttt, doutl't should bo
hautet down to dor poy oxoept lie
vane dot.
Dor bug bed vas a sbmall quad.
roped, but Ile yoost dor feller dot
rood make tt man trait a chiant in•
delleck feel for him.
Condentmeut vas der sugar 0nd
der milk en der cafe:mop of life, and
der reason yon cloud get some ab-
breoiatious of it vas because dor
brine to got 11 vas not high ub.
1I1alel a,.S1011.
Josiah A. Haywood; sexton, of
the Church of the TJuity, Boston,
has recently celebrated his ei.lvor
wedding, Among the incidents of
the festive occasion was tho readlug
of a letter front Rev. B. J. Savage,
hie pistol•, in which he said :-
'1 liropose therefor-enttrely for
your own good -to suggest a few
faults. If yoti only manage to euro
these, you will heyo to bosoms the
ideal eoxton, and Yen eau commend
a salary of $10,000.year, or per.
Laps earn room than that by travol.
ling with Barnum cis tiro. greatest
curiosity of the age. Tho faults I
Allude to aro such as thoso
'1. Yon have not yet leaned
how to to make rho church hot and
cool at tho samo time. You must
learn tow to him ono pew mark
775 dogreee Fahrenheit, while the
next ono to 11 to down to a point
whore it would bo eculfortablo for
an Iuskfino,
'2, You do not seem to kuoty I
T ER
haw to have a hoot circulation,
'dotty of fresh I(I Rua yet u0
11ty„ arty drat a€tywltsro. You
taunt hivunt saw,, wit),to make all
Leto drafts skip the pews where elite.motet and hold h'•aeod people sit.
'3 You !moo not yet acquired
the art of lowing the antral' flooded
wall 'metMulti all the lambs aro
shut at tho '101031time. Thisshculd
be aituuded to at once, and yort
ahnuld tilt offer any such p,or 3x•
0048 as that it is impossible. To a
sexton n �tlaiug should be impossibtn.
•f
'. Y n urne: find out sumo Ivey
of giving ovorybody rho best sant,
right to the oeutro of tiro hoose, no
mutton whether the pews aro alreadyut
full ur n.
'5. You Must learn how to fill
all rho paws :l:11 strangers without
mailing 'toad' abo'tt it, ,tn,i rat this
same time hnvo plenty of room loft
iil
regr Ito holdurs.
0. Autl, finally, you will stood
your loisut•e time in inventing a
patent °Introit that ehitll be jolt
warm 311011'411 endnwenn;et 100 wenn;
not two draughty, hu' wi'h jest
draught 0non 1It : where .,1l bit pen
pie 30)lit!"v"r 5",ie mantel, oral
or phylcel condition, evi11 bit per
t'
footle• C ,uf able ; 'um l---ornwuing
tohirverucnt of nil-tlutt elute Iowa
all tie. Heats iu the ruiddlo.
'Wheat is it stxtuu for, anyhow, if
he can't pieaso everybody at the
ettMO tune ?'
SSELS POST
n The fine lion, Romeo, the pride
t of Toronto no, is dead
lee booting is a now itumeo )ear
on Liao big pond at
Gale
A company bite beon organized to
I bore 'or gas In Cbotham.
Kingston has spent $70,000 in
extending their waster •vor!cu.
Jus. Agnow, of DutidalJo, caught
Iwo wild Date alive last wr.ok.
'rh 1 ,vat artt•ori1 by-law ill(J 0telrtn
toes ,s earti'by a majority of two.
Ovur rj225,000kvae event in build,
ins* rat S utl( Ste. Marie Inst yearurat
Propurty has jbeen sold on
linin St.. Winuipog for $500 per
foot,
Thatlsttuds of Bottle aro reporto'l
ou the lei east of 1lltnitioua:au,
Quo.
Tito Provincial Exhibition will be
hid this your at Loudou, Sept. 11th
to 11th.
CIJ,) .Y w:t.tti 111)10 hill. 'I'11•,
e
hears'. 0110 14 at)i) Iliile7 ashy 1tt
A:; :s
pi1nti„1tt8r"d by tin Oakville
butehor la.t aortic had only one
kidney.
'elm so! 134 or 511 Mayor of Ham
ilt',u Into been iuer:xt'w1 from $1200
to $1700
Tho Jumbo -mon of Lilo Ottawa
Valley use 20,000 barrels of pork
ea011 inter,
Jax•utavur Joie D. Clement, of
Brame rd, died of paralyeis on tion•
day, aged 90
A St. Thomas man has just filled
an seder for 300 pigoons for the
Torouto gun Blab.
The 13rnntford Council voted
X400 to the Mayor, and $20 to each
of the reporters.
John Dock, hotel keeper at the
Humber, picked a mushroom in the
field on Jan, 5th.
0. W. Gauthier, of Windsor, hat
just put five ears sf Manitoba white-
fish in his freezer,
Chatbam had a wedding last week
between a mart of 72 years and a
maid of 52 summers.
The Presbyterians of Belmout
have decided by a vote of 18 to 0, to
have u church organ.
Albert Ream barrister of Oriliia,
whowos killed on the railway, had
his life insured for $40,000
One day last week A. .Parrott, of
Huntsville, tfuskolca,picked a hand-
ful of fiowars in tho open garden.
Jos. Emile, of Gushes, aged
years and 7 mouths, thank half a
pint of brandy ou Saturday and
died.
Oovid Blain, of Aldershot, trapped
four foxes this season all w itltiu a
mile and a half of the limits of
Hamilton.
One of tho Candidates for muni-
cipal !Ignore in Mono township be.
came insane over the excitement
and anxiety.
During the past year the Bain
Wagon Works have sold $15,000
worth of their wagons to one firm
in Winnipeg.
The Biehop of Ontario lately con-
firmed 80 persons, some of them
over 80 years of age, in the mission
of Sharbot Lake,
An Acton editor has been present-
ed with maple syrup made from sap
run the day before Chrlstmnit, by
Zimmerman Bros., on their farm
noar Guelph.
A number of years ago J. H. Neff,
of Springfield, got poisouod by oat-
ing a root in the bush. The poison
line lately broken out on hie leg,
and amputation may bu neoesanry
to eavo hie life.
On the 7th of January a plo wing
bee took place on the farm of Win.
Raspberry, Wed I'iamboro. Twelve
acres were turned ovor and harrow-
od, and looked its nioo as it it had
been done in April.
In one of Mr. Dwyer'e camps,
Algoma, it troy containing five 16
feet logs which naiad 6040 foot, the
butt log measured 58 inches on the
stump nucl tbo top log 83 iuoltes,
was Cul, skidded and hauled to the
rivor, a distauoo of half a mile, in
three hours under tho management
of his practioel foreman, Janos
Conway, who thinks probably it
will be the largest tree taken out ort
Bello River this season.
A Oalnpbelltou, .Prince 'Edward
Island, oorrespondout writes : Juo.
Templeton le a blacksmith who
owns a frtto specimen of the 'Eug.
lish mastiff. Last week Mr. Tem-
pleton Nita working itt his forgo•
putting n new steel in the point of
a pick. The steel was slightly burn-
ed in the heating, and instead of
welding, flew in half a dozen pieces.
Ono piece Oro* tiro blaakarnith
above tho right oye with such force
as to foam itself in firm. Tho
blacksmith etaggored ana fall bock.
ward. How long ho was unoonsei=
ous Ito does not know, but wino] ho
revived ills dog lay in the middle of
the shop crying almost like a
human being and rubbing his jape
Ju tho dust otitis floor. Tho piece
of stool that had sttnck Me. Tom-
pfoton lay a short distance from !ho
dog. Timm faithlnl animal heal eoizod
the hot etoel with his teeth and
drawn it from elr. Templototm's
head. Tho dogs monthwatt badly
burned.
NEAB8Ne. TINE ENI).
Profossioual men who are io the
sore and yellow leaf, figuratively
speaking, aro thus enumerated :-
Leo NHL, the pops, is 78.
Ino. Gilbert, the actor, is 78.
'Von Moltke, the soldier, is 88.
0, W. Holmes, the poet, is 79.
J. G Whittier, the poet, is 84.
R. W. Woir, the pointer, is 85.
Neal Dow, the reformer, is 84.
J.. 8. Blackie, the scholar, is 79.
J. G. Dana, the geologist, is 75,
Alfred Tennyson, the poet, is 79.
It'itt. Browning, the poet„ 1s 70,
Octave Fonillet, the author, is 70,
David D. Field, the lawyer, is 83.
:rules Grevy, the statesman, is
81.
John Bright, the statesman, is
77.
John Friesson, the engineer, is
85.
J. II. Newman, tho cardinal, is
87.
1'. D. Woolsey, ilia publicist, is
87.
H. E. Manning, the cardinal, is
80.
Geo. Bancroft, the historian, is
88.
1'. '2. Barnum, the showman, is
78.
Jefferson Davis, the ex -rebel
preaideut, is 80.
A. G. Thurman, the statesman,
is Iii.
Simon Cameron, the statesman,
is 80.
Prince Bismarck, the statosmau,
is 73.
Hannibal Hamlin, the statesman,
is 79.
Peter R. Kenrick, the archbishop,
is 82.
James 1\2oCosb, the metapby.
sickle), is 77.
C oorge Ticknor Curtis, the lawyer
is 70.
Ferdinand de Lesseps, the
engineer, is 88.
Joan Louis efolasonier, thopaintor, is 76.
P. A. P, Barnard, the collogo
prositlent, to 70.
William E. Gladstone, tho states.
man, is 70.
Alexaudee W. Kiuglake, the
historian, is 77.
Irolloollous ora .far
The nicest bed is 11 pan of rising
bread.
The old maid to rho oat's good
Samaritan.
If it was nob for the nit T would
bo nu manse
I think I have a pretty nose when
it is not scratched,
The oven was about tho hottest
place I woe over in,
I ant blamed for a groat many
things the girl breaks.
In all my eeperionao I nover saw
a oat bit with a bootjack.
livery oat that gots on oar back
ranee doson't Dome to ace me.
When pooplo go to sit clown they
Dever see I ata asleep in tho chair.
When I can't get the ribbon off
my Deck try to drag it in tlto diet.
:If I hadn't talons the small boy
would Clad no fun iu pulling my
tail.
Tho sailor is the only Duo who
would , st oder hnvo a rat than a
oal around.
The Milt is and I can nevor ngroo
as to the pliliio 'vhore I shall bring
tip my latterly.
ll![issis used 1,n loavo mo only ono
kitten until aftoIva Witte she Iva her-
self, and thou slue loft me two,
13,y the recent wee. of self denial
he Saivntion Army In Canada clear-
ed ovor ,$5,000,
'11.031 tTel nuar<t rsperxneEe'
ETHEL
1ST /UV FL'1J1: l " {Frglyr
The undersigned having completed the change frittu the stone to
the eelebrated Hungarian System of Grinding, ham now thtMill in
First -Class Running Order
and will be glad to see all his old customers and as many new
- outs as possible.
Pio= rad , `Mese,, J W a ,$ cal I- g
Ibigl.test Yt'it•" p:titl for any quantity of Cru,,,' et roil!.
VT iv/. MILNE .
FARMER ! FAR1 E !
Look to Your Own Interest and get your eiristing done at
Where you will get Flour second to none in the Dominion, and
yiold per bushel equal to the highest.
Chopping Done While You Wait.
Farmers Can Have Manitoba Wheat Flour
Without Extra Charge, if required.
SPECIAL PRiCE GIVEN FOR 500-1b. LOTS OF FLOUR.
All Kinds of Grain Bought; for Cash,
CHOP, BRAN, SIIORTS, CIiACKEI) WHEAT ANI) GRAHAM
FLOUR ALWAYS ON HAND AT THE
NATIONAL oROLLBR MILLS, BRUSSELS,
Oct 1, 3•m
STE1WART & LO VV IOK.
LARGE ASSORTMENT
-OF-
If you Want a Nobby Suit
COM -H zit)
,_unvTHE LEMIItuG INfERGF9ANi
TAILOIUN�Z AND GENT'S
9 FURNISHING ESTABLISHMENT.
L
SS
\Va hnvo the Finest Assortment of Fancy Twoeds, 'Worsteds,
Overeoatings and Partings that can bo shown in Brussels, also a
splendid and well selected stock of Gent's Furnishings. Our Hats
and Cats are of tho Latest Shapes. All will be sold at Moderate.
Prices.
Suits Got Up in Latest Styles
anti Fits Guaranteed, Give Us a Call and be convinced of what
we say. All 'Tweeds bought from us will bo cut Free of Charge.
Hear What the Poet Says
'lrrali Pat Mike
is that you see walkin down stltrate '
Stere its UMilke with a new suit from head to the fate ;
And when did tits spalpoeu get fitted so nate ?
Why up at Broadway -at 88.
Thiiu Ross by's got us such illigant Tweeds,
And everything else that a gintleman floods ; .
They tato fit you up like an Ouid Country girt,
And begor they'll not (late yon tor never.a tint.
They'll suspend you.with Braces the loikc eoultln'tbo,
Put a shirt on your back that will lit to a too ;
rp110ir gloves and their stockings sure niver will wear
- Andtheir tweeds taro warrnalted clever to tear.
If you want hat or calf, or even a collar,
-Jist call on the boys 1t will save you a dollar
For bcdacl its the t)•uth I'm sphalkin to you,
There is/everything there that is stylish and now.
ROSS BROS.,
Cr,O�ll' IBES, te.ri.