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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Brussels Post, 1910-10-6, Page 2wee SIS SUPERB NERVE Enabled Him to Loll In Luxury With Not a Cont of Cost. CRUSHING A HOTEL KEEPER, "The Beau Was Elegant In Dresa and \ Exquleite in His Bluffing and Playact !Hie Part Well—Never Known to `:Pay a 15111 Under Any c- vcu st Woos ",Misery loves 'company," quoted Mr %Web, an ole time V1'g1n1a gentle- man, We other night. "There's a great deal of truth In that old sayllg. "Some forty ar'Orly years ago there '(vas a celebrated Virginia character, well knowu in Washington, Baltimore and Philadelphia, whom I dealt call Beira Smith, because Smith wasn't 111s real acme. Beau Smith was not only noted for the elegance of his dress, but Wee for his absolute disregard of all lrnaeelal obllgations, He was never known to pay a'nill under any eircum- stances. "Beau entered the office of the o}d iMouumental hotel, In Baltimore, one mlght, registered, and upon being es - melted to oue of the best suits of rooms en the house,` for lbo would be satisfied ,only with the best, he proceeded to ;make himself thoroughly at home and settled down for a long stay. He or- dered champagne by the ease and el- gurs by the box for the entertainment ,of such friends as might visit him in Ibis apartments end, in short, lived as though he had motions behind him, lThe'proprietor of the hotel, Mr. Guyer, ihed heard of Beau, but be could not Ibellevo that he would deliberately run ,up such a large bill if lie had ea inten- !tron of paying it, and be hesitated !about speaking t0 such an elegant gen- itlemao about such an inelegant thing, ;as money, but after Beau had been a guest at the Monumental for more than a month and bad said nothing about paying.his bill Sir. Guyer summoned 'up his courage and had Beau's bill 'made out and sent no to him. In n few moments Ml'. Guyer received a 1polite, but urgent message from Bean, tasking him to come to his apartments at once, 'I sent for you, Mr. Guyer,' said athe inpecuntous beau. 'to show you a 'most remarkable document which has been sent up to me from your office. '1 don't wish to complain of your (clerks, sir, but 1 daelke being annoyed -1n this way. Will you kindly look at 'that and tell me what It is?' "'That is a bill, Mr. Smith; said Guyer as soon as he recovered his 'breath. '"So I observe.' responded Beau, "but, Mr. Guyer, it is made out against "'Certainly,' replied tbe hotel man. I'It ,is our account against you for 'board and lodging, wipes, cigars and 'other extras for the last month, and 1 Iwoutd be glad if you'— "'Why. my dear sir,' interrupted I;Beau. laughing, 'you surely never ex- lpected me to pay this bill?' "'I most certainly did and do ex- •pect you to pay it,' answered Sir. Guy- .er firmly. i"'But, clear sir,' said Beau gently, 'you knew who I was when 1 came to !your house.' "Mr. Guyer admitted that he did- .rb en,on know' continued y. Beau, et n, "that I Have never been known to pay a bill to any one, and no one in his Isenses ever expected that f would. (Now, my dear sir, 1 beg of you to de- stroy tbis rldichlous document and see ithat 1 am not annoyed again with. +aueb foolishness,' 1 "'Do you Ioteed to pay this bill or Bot" demanded the hotel proprietor sternly. 1. "'I do not; replied the Beau quietly. "'Very well, then, 1 'will sueyou, sir.' 'l "'That is your privilege, sir.' 7, "'And 1 will get a judgment, too,' said Guyer angrily, t "'You will get more than that, Mr. Cuyer, responded Beau calmly. 'You awlll get yourself laugbed at by the eta 'tire country' for being so foolish as to "imagine that you could collect a bill Irmo Bean Smith. Pray do not sub- ject yourself to such ridicule.' 1 "Guyer hesitated; he knew he would be laughed at unmercifully by every 'one, and, then, too, he could not help 'but admire the colossal cbeek of Sniffle so he sat down again and lit a trimly cigar. 1 ";ter. Smith,' said he, 'I'11 tell you !what 1 will do. If you will move over to the City betel and play this same game on old man Barnum 1']l give you a receipt in full for all that you owe me and say no more about it.' "'Receipt the bill, hie, Guyer,' an- ewered Smith coolly. 'I had been stop - 'ping with ter, Barnum for a month pritrr�lo coming to yohr house, and he also promised to give me a receipt In Sull for what I owed him 11 1 would ;move over here and, play the same trick oft yon."-lehiladelphia Ledger. "Why Dry Cleaned Them, TVh y 1s your grandpa`s face band - !Aged?" asps 7110 lady next; door, "eie Was sleeping be his beg chair," explains the little girl, "and Wiliie turned the nozzle of tbe vacuum clean. cr against tits whiskers,"—Life, And Reck Was Silent, a Peek --I really think, my dear, that Miss Brown will make our son a good 'tYife, • Mrs. Peek (snappily) —And ;hitt, sir, de pati know about good fir%ee cede eet eTraliscript (tate f e• Two -(birds, of lila aro (pent in hest - ,eating and the other:, third in repeliC' I� _eSetWeetele. '. 1• r 1' Yom~ tr v! r ROYAL ACCOUNTS.' Methods of the. King of England In Transacting Rugines, 110 ndvertlsenlent is 01070 valuable to a Britisb tradesman thou the royal warrant, lebleih allows hem to puce the royal arias over his plaice of business and describe himself aa "purveyor by appofntrnent to his majesty the Ling." Ella tradesman who bale the royal custom must send in his bill at the end of time month, It is compared. with 1110 ledger account keCt at llar Ih ahe gp Deese and if correct is paid iu the first week of the mouth, No is asked on any of the royal accounts. A tradesman' who receives the royal custom is Informed that he mustsup. ply goods at the lowest r'en,soneble prices, and there is never auy attempt at bargaining by tbe official of the royal bousehold, 1f a tradesmnil is: thought to be reeking extortlounte charges lie simply loses the royal cus- tom, Coal Is supplied to Illarlborougb Floase by contract, the eoutraets be' ing Made for three years and the con. tractors paid in scam half yearly pay- ments. Window cleaning, carpet clean- ing and chimney sweeping are all done by contract, and the glass frames of large pictures are also kept clean by contract. Servants' wages are paid monthly„ the upper servants being paid by check sent to each from the treasurer's, de- partment. The king's accounts for clothes, cigars, theaters, newspapers. books and other personal articles are sent to Iris secretory, not the treasurer, end are also paid monthly.—Toronto '.limes. CORE OF THE EARTH. — One of the Enigmas of Nature That Science Cannot Solve, Human beings know only a mere shin of the surface of the earth, not more lhnn thirty miles deep, while the globe is 3,000 miles in diameter. There is probably no oxygen at all below thirty miles, and It is difficult to guess what are the elements within. Prob- ably the heaviest elements corm a dense core near the center. It is in some respects astonishing, most alarming, that we are so com- pletely devoid of any direct knowledge of the constituents of the, vast mass of globe beneath us and really only know the merest film. A skin or mem. brans one-twentteth of ao inch in thickness (the thickness of ked or brown paper) spread over a ball n lit- tle more than a foot in diameter repre- sents the proportion between the the known crust of the earth thirty miles thick and the great globe itself. We are dependent on Inference and speculation for our notions as to the constitution of all that Is beneath the mere skin of thirty miles thickness on the globe's surfacer Even what is thrown up by the biggest volcanoes does not come from below this depth or tell us what lies hidden there.—Ex- change. Helter Skeeter. "IIelter shelter" bas been sugges- tively defined as n jingling expression vaguely imitating the hurried clatter of feet rapidly and irregularly moved. Most dictionaries, however, led astray probably by the ordinary orthography, have missed the true etymology of this phrase. It should o d be "better kelter, "Hefter" is an old word for "hang," probably connected with halter, and "kelter" is used by old writers in the sense of "order" or the proper state. Thus Barrow, the dtviue, says, "If the organs of prayer be out of kelter bow can we pray?" "Stetter skelter," there- fore. is literally "hang order" and means, "011. bang order; let us do It, or let it take ite chance." Ben Jon- son in "Every elan In His Humor" writes, "Better skelter, bang sorrow, care '11 kill u cat," and Shakespeare, using it to express rush and hurry, says, "Helfer skelter have 1 rode to thee" Horseradish as a Vegetable, In Germany horseradish is frequent- ly made into an excellent cooked vege- table which goes particularly well with hefted mutton or chicken fricassee. It is made as follows: Grate as usual and stew till tender in hatter; mix well with grated Parker house rolls, one cupful of the latter to three of the horseradish, and boll up once more, addlug n heaping teaspoonful of sugar. Served with very firmly jellied cur- rant jelly, scooped out with a teaspoon and laid in solid little orals like a wreath round the white mound of borse'adish, this delectable dish looks almost as good us 1t tastes.—Subur• bualte. The Attraction, Tourist—I must confess that I can't see wby so many people want to come here—no scenery, no amusements, no good things to eat, absolutely no at- tractions. Innkeeper—Ale signor, key come because we•'ave ze gr -ran' label to stick on ze luggage, --Mexican Her- Civilization. ea Civilization. The upward sweep of civilization 1s not Unlike the rising of the Incoming tide. It advances and recedes, but each advance carries humanity to a higher altitude than it had reached before,-., 11. 0. Flower. uit'n A-0 -.•} Ine 1 g a Humooist. - 'Did write thee joke?"' 14*. • '( 1.7 did,"v r "Fra -ha-ha!" "Well, what ate you laughing ate Ain't It a good joke?"—Toledo Riede. The wise eau is cured Of ambftioe by, ambltlon,—La Sruyere, - OARE OF SHOES AND HOSE. How to Clean the Former and Save. the Latter, . Most gdrla who have too darn their own stockings have given up wearing Pumps. The slipping up and down on the heels would wear met any stock^ Ings in It day, and there las not time at, the end of the week to keep time mended up, If treat o is still experienced with all evening 'slippers nod else the Ox- ford ties it' is an excellent plan to baste a small squ iro of blak silk o n the outside of the' cling Jaetvicro the shoo rubs, This will be found a. wonderful relief as 'regards the know. Mg that the, heel of one's stocking is sure to bo quite whole, and it will else save tate lining of the • shoe itetet When the stocking _ is rubbed 10'a hole the .creases in turn wear out the lin- ing of the shoe. Just as seen 'es a shoo lining' has become worn it should be taken to be mended. For a very small amount n shoe or slipper can be entirely 00111h - ed, if necessary, and this will save the stockings extraordinarily. Many girl.' now have a bit of suede placed at the inner side of the heel of the shoe, thinking it will help to keep a low •shoo from slipping. A girl who finds she gets unreason- ably tired and has eonstant backaches. from walking on city pavements may be reasonably sure that the last of her shoe is wrong for her and that the heel is either too high or placed too far forward. Rubber heels are also great fatigue savers in a city. For summer white canvas and white buckskin are generally worn with white gowns, but Cor the morning rue - set shoes and Wettings are equally smart for young girls. To get their brown shoes to a good color they should take the trouble of always cleaning and polishing them them- selves. If it is desired to keep the leather light in roller the shoes should be polished as seldom as possible and the polish allowed to dry thoroughly when first applied before being rub- bed. It is more fashionable norva- daye, however, for the tan shoes to acquire as quickly as possible a dark reddish hue. A banana peel rubbed evenly over the surface and -the leath- er allowed to dry out well before be- ing shined with the liquid polish will darken the shoes rapidly, and a few application of sweet oil will give the same result and also Help to make the leather waterproof. The liquid polish and the paste must be put on very evenly to avoid marking and staining, and a clean 1.ag and soft brush should always be used. Special shoe polish- ing gloves are now to be bought, which greatly simplify the process o1 home shoe cleaning, as they keep the hands absolutely clean. Varieties In Gold Filling, A gold filled tooth and your gold filled wateh case may be said to be inversely analogous — that is, your gold filled tooth has more or less of the tooth structure or enamel on the outside, with gold as a core filling the centre. Your gold filled watch ease. consists of two sheets of gold having between thefh some baser metal to which the gold is soldered. As to the gold in the case, it may be of any fineness and any thickness commen- surate with the term "gold filled," A jeweler will tell you that 10 carat gold is not gold, having too much admix - tare of baser metals. Many persons have the idea that the gold filled case is an amalgum of the kind instead of a sandwich of gold smeared on the inside with the base metals. The Hurry Habit. "The most exasperating citizen 3 encounter," says the retiredrofes• ser, "is the chap who's always excus- ing himself for his neglect of you on the ground that he's too busy to pause a second. His days and nights are so full, the demands upon his time are so ninny and so urgent, that you must 1m•give him if he appears rude. You're willing to forgive him for any- thing if (he'll only forget to apologize. There are thousands of such citizens, buzzing like tops, trotting around a circle as big as a•eilver dollar and get- ting from $15 to $20 a week out of life —if they have luck—while their de. liberate neighbor next door'il sit down and think a few minutes and earn $100,000 a year." Italy's Marriage Brokers. Marriage brokers are a regular in- stitution 111 ltaly. In Genoa there are several marriage brokers who, have pocketbooks filled with Ilio' names of the marriageable girls of the, different classes, with notes el their figures, personal attraetione, fortune and other circumstances. neer brokers go abort endeavoring to arrange matrimonial alliances in the same offhand mercantile manner which they would bring to bear upon a purely business transaction, and when they succeed they get a com- mission of 2 or 3 per cent. upon the dowry, with such extras of bonuses as lney be volmitarily bestowed by the party. A Lucky Escape. "Thank heaven !" exclaimed a man watching the ticker tape mark the fall of stocke, "Are you short of the mnrkoti';' asked a bystander, "01, no." "Did you get out in time, then?" "Oh, no." "What arc you so thankful about, then?" "Why, they broke me, but if I had had any more money they would have broken mo hart}er." It Cot There Just the Same. i Mabel—Such a joke nn Mr. Gay.l boy! Wo were not on the helcovy , between the (lances, and he got the, sleeveof his dress coat all over red paint from one of the poets that were! just painted. Maud—And dial you go near the Mattel— Nn, Why? • elhud--Because you hove red paint all over the trete of your valet. Good Breeding. The sender without good breeding is a pedant, the philosopher a afrli t, the soldier a brute edit every Ve.50 dieegternbee,--C1,esterfl91d. A TRUE PROPHET, Some Things .Noted In "Leaking B.eckward" Already In Use. . Are ' the prophecies of Looking Backward opining true? Ono has but to recall Edward Bellalny's'book of 25 years ago and compare his pre. dietions with eenditlorl5 to -day to feel eimnst sure that they are. (17 course there are many things which Bcl}atny declared would conte to puss in the yens 2000 that have not neater- fanged osetb they At 60 on Man. headers of Looking Backward 'il1 iemembcr that Bellamy down w s d , n y and develops a scheme of life, an organization of state, a new Utopia, explains a writer in The New York Worlde Under his scheme labor is carefully divided,' being so meteor. tinned that every' oho works 24 years of tale life, belt no more. Tlie period ofservice is front the ages of 21 to 45, thus ' leaving, in Bellamy's arum words, "riean's maturity sacred to Paso." The New 'l,ealand. system ' of old age pensions is based largely on this idea, But it is in the snecbanieal rather than in the merely economic field that J3ellanoy's word has seemed to tarry the gift of prophecy. Perhaps the most striking instance of the trend of invention along the lines of 13ellnmy is that work of pr. Cahill, of Holyoke,. Mass„ which is aimed et the distribution of rnusic to every one on telephone system. In. Look. 'ng Backward Dr. Leet had but to turn a switch and his music -room would be flooded with the most in- spiriug strains that musical instru- ments eould produce. After the setting of an •indioator.as P110 would set an alarm clock the musicians in the central producing plant would arouse him in the morn - mg with a melody. Ar. Cahill has Pis system practically in working order, A public dining hall to save work Tor women was one of 'Bellamy's ideas. Stop to consider the number af people who to -day take all their meals in restaurants and you will see that conditions of city life are mak- ing real the dream of which the seer tvrote. In Bellamy's scheme there were no small stores to kill or cripple each ether with 'Wasteful competition. He had huge department stores. I•n his: scheme they were operated by the Government, of course, but that is neither here nor there. The point is that he, in a day when the country store was the only one which attempt• ed to handle everything,could see the gathering of the retail business of all sorts under one roof. When he wrote of flying machines he11an7y realized that he was but one of a long line of prophets of the air. He mentioned them in a matter -of• fact way as existing in 2000. They are hcre to -day. Paper dishes, which could be thrown away 'when soiled, took their places among his improvements. In that Bellamy was in, dead earnest, as his family -trill tell you to -day. Often he would go into the kitchen, witness the toil which the prepara- tion and eating of a meal demanded and express the wish that he were enough of a mechanic to perfect the kind of dishes which were his ideal. It is true that paper dishes haven't yet passed the picnic stage, but they can be considered within the realm of the possible in the light of the uses to which paper is being put to- day. How Russian Peasants Live. Most of the Russian peasants peas a great deal of their lives in work- shops, work, , where they wo k, Ont and sleep, the same room sheltering a number and probably a pig in the bargain. There are few beds. Instead, all around the four walls of the room is fixed what may be literally described. ea a bench. It is made of wood, and at this works the peasant by day, and on it he sleeps by night, each man at his own spot. The conditions of the Russian workshop or factory and the Russian prison and military bar- racks, so far as interior arrangements are concerned, are akin. Chairs there will also be and a table, rudely fash- ioned, as a rule, by the men them - Color Test' For ,Florists• The counter of a florist's shag was such an unusual place to find a basket of woolen threads that the carious customer was impelled to ask what business they had there. "They have just been used for training a young mans sense ,of color," said the florist, "Ole has been worlcing in our greenhouses on Long Island. I -Ie wants a position in a Broadway shop, but before he could be transferred he had to undergo the color test. Every man in a florist's shop hnust have a's keen a sense for the different colors as a ribbon or silk salesman. This man passed the examination all right, but lots of men who know a good deal about flowers fall down on the color test. Animals and Climbing. Bears can climb well if little, but the grizzly and other large species stay mainly on the ground. A bear always climbs down a tree backward, as does the domestic cat until she has nearly reached the ground, when 01111 turns and jumps, but most wildcats run down a trunk head first, even the heavy leopard being a snore skillful climber than the light house cat. The tiger and hon, however, do not climb, for no discoverable reason unless it be that they fear of falling on accost -et of their weight. Fully Qualified. ?'he iuvelid was on the road to re- a0very, end the physician had just present'd his bili for $200 "Doctor,' said the patient, "you missed the opportuuity of your life. You shettld have been a nerve spe- cialist," Cheering Her Up, Mand—Did you abeerve that Gus Areber gave me his first dance last evetting Y } -_ e Si lye 4r.. ; he told mo Inter on that he believed always in getting die• ageaahle things doted with eta Hoon as possible, -, „ NIEDIOAL ADVIOt. Rend These Admonitions and The Po .as You Please, In order that the reader, too hes to keep in touch with the findings 1n medical highbrows, may not be lei to Work nett his own physical destr'uc tion, the following rust's hays bee taken from al'tietes made imprresty by the s1.,naatnres of prnfe:siantt writers, It Is not assumed that al the rules may be followed rat once: re 1 ttnaeol ah l In i• deeply. this way tdr lung area is erilaa'gcd, oxygen mor readily consumed, y aux reed, purifying 111 blood, quickening the cireuletion and pronloting ftinctloeling. The 1811 for deep breathing as non- sense. No benefit is to be de ivt:d from it. The mantel person will tape into his lungs without conscious ef- fert all the lir thin is good fur' him, Tako a cold bath once a day at least. Twice would do no harem. .Avoid the hot' bath as enervating. Take timer daily bath as riot as the water can be borne. Cold water gives a dangerous 510011, ivfnreover, it is not oleausing, Bath' every. clay, A common error is that of bathing ore frequently than is necessary for purposes of eloanlincee. Use tepid water. Regulaiity of meals as essential to health. Take three of them dairy; beginning with a hearty brealcfast• ' Omit, tuna at noon at least, the meal ordinarily known as brea'lcfest. Then take half sterlized cracker and a sip of water. Eat when you are hungry, without regard to the hour. Never go to bed within three boors of having eaten. The . practice of going to bed hun- gry is foolish. Sleep comes more quickly and is more restful if just be- fore retiring you partake of lunch. Never drink wake.: with meals. Drink two or three glasses of water with each meal. Beware of low shoes, even in waren weather. The low shoe is desirable, despite a possible sense of chill.. In high shoes the feet suffer from lack of ven- tilation, Wear heavy underclothes 'in cool weather, particularly over the chest, Many make the mistake lof : swath- ng the chest and throat: Adopt light underwear for the entirc_ycar, Chew thoroughly and eat sparingly, Take a quantity or food. Nature will eliminate all that is not neede1q. No harm is done by bolting meat, as igestion is a chemical process, talc - ng place in the stomach. Tea and coffee are poisons. There is no beverage more healthful han tea and coffee in moderation. Decline to use any but pasteurized milk. Milk raw, from a healthy herd, is he only sort fit for human consump- ion. Indulge in vigorous exercise. Pursuit of your ordinary vocation ill give y,ou all the exercise you eed. Experience demonstrates that the egetarian has the nnly sane theory. If you would keep well, follow a ixed diet, with meat. as a staple. Take all fruits and most vegetables aw. The skins have a distinct value. Vegetables and fruits must be cook - d. It is well to peel them- The kens harbor deadly germs. Sielmcere Flattery. At the dinner of a literary club two minor poets were heard in con. versation. "Harold," said the one, "I've'just seen your triolet in The Spread Eagle Magazine." Ah 1" exclaimed the other, a pleas- ed expression coming into his face and with the air of a man preparing himself against a burst of praise. "Yes," continued the second poet, "and, do you know, I beard rather a neat little compliment passed on it by a young lady of my acquaint- ance." Harold seemed still more pleased. "May I ask what she said?" he queried- Whereupdn the first minor poet gurgled. "Why," said 11e, "she wanted to ]snow whether I had writ• ten it." Unexpected Erudition. An absentminded professor of lam, goatees dropped into a restaurant one day for a luncheon. "What will you have, sir?" asked the waiter. "Fried eggs," replied the ptofessor. "Over?" said the waiter, meaning, of course, to ask whether he wanted them cooked o11 both sides or only one. "Ova?" echoed the professor, sur• prised with his apparent familiarity, with Latin. "Certainly. That is what I ordered—Ova galhinae." This the waiter interpreted t.,s meaning "extra well clone, and that is the way they came to the table. ;. Just a Little Favor. A Birlovillc prisoner addressed the following note to a friend on the outside: Dear Bill—T want my case, post - twined till the next term o' court. Please invite the judge to take a ride. behind the hose that killed ., your mother -hl -law 1111' spill hint in the big road an' cripple 'him so's he'll have to take to his bed for about two weeks or better, or, if he Won't go aerial' with you, oatlldn't you man- age to shoot him in the leg for rue? ];1 you'll do this for me, Bill, I'll calf you my friend forever." A Heliotrope Moss Rose. William Twaddle, of Stanhope, hate, has growing in his garden n novelty in the shape of a heliotrope mess rose. Gardenere declare that they have nev- er before seen or hoard of a moss rose of that color,. The bush, which stands four feet high, contains about a dozen buds, besides two or three roses he full bloom. A Refleetren on Her Product, Mrs. De Visite—You don't means le tell nip that eater splendid cook lute leftou9 ,V Mrs. Holmes—Yes; the sensitive thing 1Vai offended because the doctor said Mr. Holmes hall Indigestion. f4,>t=?tal Wel$'•' RUBY 11111 USE 111 11I1Y IUlIOTITY pet For tmel.ing ,SOAP, &oft ,f! ;j ening wet ar, removing old res' ? paint, diotnfectiug einles, F`J j1 , closets and drain coldb t for M=any otter-puetteaee. ,. fcit A can equals 20 the. Sal - �• Soda. lisel'ul for five /. hundred porpow33. SodC er r e b. ea J le 5. W. Qiillotl Co„ Ltd, •`1 L! STUPID PEOPLE. A CUNNING OLU RAT Couldn't Toll What Grew Up Straight and Was Served on Toast. Weyer ask any One 10 511ppiy you with a missing word, says a writhe in the Atchison (.lobe, and If the experi- ence which he relates Is typical itis good advice. A woman was engaged recently in writing a leiter to a friend, in w•bioli she was telling of what they had to eat at u party. She was getting along very well when all of a sadden she stopped to think, "'W'bat," she called to her family, "Is thtlt green scull' that grows up. straight?" "Iii-ergreen trees," some one replied, "011, no," said the woman; "I mean something t0 eat." "Onions;" was the reply. "No," she said, "not onions." "Lettuce," "beaus,". 'glens," and so on, were all called out by the family, all anxidns to supply the missing word. "None of them is right, said the. woman. 'Then she tried a new tack. "What is it," she said, "they serve on toast?" - "Poucbed eggs," said one member of the fumlly. "Jam," said another. Then the wolpan got up, tore her letter into pieces and put the thing off till later on. Three days later she was in a gro- cery store and saw something marked "15 cents a bunch" that sent her run- ning all the way home. "It was asparagus!" she cried. "I should think some of you might have known it was a,epuragusl Didn't I say it grew up stralgbl and was servedon toast?", oe. • ABSURD FASHIONS. ' • Hairdressing and Hats Ih the Time of Marie Antoinette. Some of the fashions In Prance dur- ing the reign of unfortunate Queen Marie Antoinette were exceedingly ab- surd, particularly hairdressing and huts, which were trimmed with' such an extravagant wealth of feathers that the coaches had to have their seats lowered. According to Mme. Cam - pan. "mothers and husbands murmur- ed, and the general rumor was (bat the queen would ruin the lereucli la• dies." One day Louis XVI. decided to for- bid the court In a body .to follow the royal hunt iu coaches; In eget to be freer he wished only to hermit real sportsmen to attend. d. The noble la- dles b immediately rebelled, and the Princess of Monaco criticised the deci- sion. by means oe bee headdress, upon -which arose n miniature royal coach, followed by two gentlemen on foot in gaiters. '0n the left of this was dls- pinyed a cypress garulshed with black tears, the large -roots being formed of crape. More absurd still was the hairdress- ing of the mother of Louts Philippe. upon whose bead every one could rad: hire her sop, the Due de Beaujolais, in the arms or es nese- as well its a parrot pecking at a cherry. Her Only Criticism. Little Dorothy not only liked her tea. and coffee to have the appearance of being "real and truly," but sbe also liked to taste the flavor of each. One afternoon her. mother took her to a friend's home where tea was served at 5 o'clock. The hostess gave to Dorothy what she usually gave to her own children, of Dorothy's age, in the line of liquid refreshment—viz, hot water, sugar and, milk. Dorothy tasted hers politely and ate bar little cakes. "Why, Dorothy, you aren't drinkiug yqur tea, dear. Isn't It sweet enough?" asked the hostess. "Yes, Mrs. 0., it's sweet enough," re- plied the child. "Then why aren't you taking It?"" "It's too dull," 'she replied,—New York Times. ,e s,. .n. „•,.1 , T :" Different Suits. A mum with a bundle thrust his' head and then lois body futo an office, says the Central Law Journal. The follow• ing dialogue then took place: I've brought these clothes for you, to. press," said the caller "The main next door say's y'cu're a bird at prose - Inn salts." "Well," said the occupant of. the office, "the man next door is right, only this isn't a tailor's shop—its a htwyer's oiee." Her Gentle Hint, "Yes, I proposed to her by letter "And what was her reply?" "She simply referrer! me to' a certain chapterhand page in 'The tire of Lord sateen "And whet did you find?" "1t says, 'After fruitlessly. applying for command Wel f t a o the ship by letter he eat in perenn to see aboixt it, and then lee secured it'. ,-'4Ltsedon Tt11e' Segal. He Mastered the Trap That Was S34 to Ensnare Him. , Not long ago it r became a problem' in a ntetropolitap hotel how to keep down the population of eats, which: had become so bold that they stole' from under the Very noses of -the cooks,..Traps and poisons were sue - easeful at first, but after a fete deaths the wary rats (welded both. The rat-catcher was then called in, .and ants, clogs and ferrets tact their turn, but still the rats increased. The steward bagged a few with a. small rifle, but the rats soon grew too cautious for hint. About all he could see was t110 tip of a tail or two bright eyes that dieappearod ae soon as he reised his gun.. Then he hit upon an- other idea. He slvung•a lid on a'bar- rel with a swivel, filled the barrel half full of water and fastened a lump of cheese he the centre of the lid. As, soon as a rat alighted on either side• of the lid, over 3m would go into the. barrel, and for a while rats were drowned by the dozen. It was at this juncture feetthe rodents evidently held a council, for the number of victims grew steadily smaller, Sometimes In the nsornin,Q there would bo two or three rats in the barrel, oftener there were none at all. The observant steward felt, that they were all the time trying to figure out how to get that cheese_ Sometimes two rats would get on the edge of the barrel, opposite one an- other,' at the same time and balance the lid ae they cntpt toward the cen- tre. This worked well until ono or the other forgot the need for caution, when both fell in. Finally one old rat mastered tbe game. For several nights the cheese disappeared, and there was VD rat. there in the morningto show, for it. One night the steward caught the rat in tbe'act of dropping from some pipes • right in the centre of the lid. He balanced himself for a moment, then • quietly nibbled at the cheese. Wlson he had satisfied his hunger he care- fully moved off along the line of the swivel and dropped to the floor safe. At this point the steward acknowl- edged defeat. He declared that the man who was smart enough to defeat those rate was smart enough to do anything. Made No Difference. A remarkable ' change has come over the conditions under whish sugar is grown fn Queensland. in 1002 the amount produced was 77,- 8,,35 tons, of which upwards of 65,000 tons were grown by black labor. That was soon , after the Federal Parlia- ment had decided that the liaslallras or South Sea Inlanders, who supplied the black labor for the cone fields must leave the country, and the champions of the black conditions loudly proclaimed the speedy de- struction of the industry. Since then, however, there has been not tally a rapid falling off in the quantity of sugar raised by black labor, but alsoa substantial increase in the total amount of sugar grown. Iu 1008 the crop yielded 15'1,40a cons, of which no ]esu than L,.,Uai trots mew thepro., . " duct of 'white x'orkcrs: Whims of Famous Singers.. Mme. Scalchi was in a very sad way if she met anyone who squinted, and s110 would go through whole host of evolutions to rid herself of the evil spell Mario's foible was smoking. As smoking was forbidden at the thea- tre, ho would never sign a contract until the clause which made hint -an exception to the 'rule was inserted. He would have leis valet waiting in the wings with a'lnatcll end a cigar and would rush' off the stage, take a few whiffs and then return to a ten - dor love scene. The cigars that he smoked cost Mtn half n crown, and he never more than partially finished one., Even the street boys in London knew hint and when' they followed his cerriag,., cheering, he. would. have a handful of coins ready to tors to them, Thet it is possible to determine sex from handwriting in perhaps !t0 castleout of .100 is, a conclusion reeebed • from ami examination of the writing of 2100 parsons.. The enceintens were sub. mittee to two "professional )rrepholog- ists" as well as to fifteen peredtts m- oment of their art. The so-called sox signs are found to he largely Marlow - ad by the amount of writing done, by age and to it tdl'teel extent by pram lice and 11Y professional requirements, ae in the conventional wrl.til g of teachers end the toted hand of book keepers. Sex and Handwriting, Snakes: Of all Rinse provisions of nnhue per - Imps the murrain in which 7111,11es aro .brought into the world le rho most remarkable, As ne rule, all hertele.''s snakes are hatched from eggsaerie. ing lobatches of hem' thirty to eighty. The liolsonotte enekos, on: the other hared, aro barn in lila ren al from 5x'v• on to eleven in nun{;pt, There are ex- ceptions to thu yule, of (entree, but theyl 'e few d • 11 a W and • tattle a iUl f taint fUr, r though the deadly king cobra legs her eggs to be llatohad by the sun,, they :ire few in number, unlike rhe t1 snide deposited by the tete deesentiees, ? '+3 i1 `^Era re.