HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Brussels Post, 1908-10-8, Page 3NOTES AND copra tiNTS
"Faseivating" is the word used
by Engliab writers in describing the
latest report Of tine British cmum'is-
slo)lers of /eland revonuo, The
greatest interest attaches to the in-
come tax and the so-called death
duties or succession taxon, though
there is nothing fascinating about
tares or the prospect of death. It
is Lim ever fresh subject of Leo clis-
trioution of wealth and the use of
taxation as an inscru.tnent of social
reform that really nukes ieseeue way will be by raking his creation
document: fascinating. :it appears am" •loriaus, God is not made
that in the last decade the r .tie ,
r al
income of the United Iiutg(1.un has
inc r"need by over $1,001).1'0,000.
In the ineoma from lands th >re has
-, been a, ciosreaee, but in that deriv-
ed from house rent and rove tments
abroad utero bas been an i :areaso.
During the last decade th' ineumo
tar: produced nearly $75,000,000
more than in the prelims decade,
while the death duties have yielded
but little more. The total for the
latter was exactly $85,000,000 for
the last fiscal year. Dnties were
paid during the year on 07,000 es-
tates, but 40,000 of these were not
above $5,000 in value. The number
of estates valued at $50,000 or over
was only 3,945. Only two estates
were worth $15,000,000 each. Three
persons out of every four e ho die
in the United Kingdom leave prac-
tica"ly nothing. The income tax
yielded for the year about $160,-
000,000. Only twenty persons were
assessed on larger sums than $250,
000, and 118 persons paid on in-
comes of $25,000 a year and over.
However, two-thirds of the income
tax is paid indirectly, or "at the
source," and those who obtain their
incomes from investments in stock
and bonds pay little or nothing di
rectly,
It is interesting to observe that
the returns show a steady decline in
' the consumption of bear and spir-
its. Ten years ago the consumption
f. Geer was estimated at 31.54 gal-
lons per head ; Last year'it was 27.63
The spirits consumed declined from
1.03 gallons per head to .90. This
shows that temperance) is gaining
ground in England and the exois
duties are contributing less and les
to the natiopal revenue.
RF Y AM D
SPI
ING
Worship Is a Reaching Up Toward That
Which Is Worth While.
Son of man, stand on thy feet and things behind, to cast oft the old
I will speak unto thee,- •k✓ek, it 1. garments of weakness and wander -
The measure of the worth o1 any ing, and put on new glory day by
worship must be i.0 the increasing day,
worth of the worshipper, If we Because man is the son of the
would glorify the Creator the best most high ho is not afraid of his fa-
ther's face and he never has fnnnd
anything too high for him. He is
most like his father as he reaches
out after the life that is great and
geed and' noble. The children of
the most high are known every-
where as those who seek the high-
est life.
.11 is the spirit of God that makes
man aspire, Think no glory of
character too great for you. Look
on life Os simply heaven's way of
setting the Upward path before us,
look on its every discipline as a
call to true worship, to endeavor
;,o be worthier to climb somehow
nearer to the face of
CARRIED OUT INSTRUCTIONS,
Every sailor has his story of the
mistakes which "landlubbers'
make over the names of things at
sea, which always seem to be ex-
actly the opposite of what they are
nu land.
A new boy had come on board a
West India ship, upon which a
painter had also been employed to
paint the ship's side, Tho painter
was as work upon a staging sus -
vended under the ship's stern.
The captain, who had just gob in-
to the boat alongside, called out to
the new boy, who stood leaning
over the rail, "Let go the painter 1"
Everybody should know that a
boat's painter is the rope which
makes it fast, bus this boy did not
know its He ran aft and let go the
ropes by which the painter's stag-
ing was held. Meantime the cap-
tain was wearied with waiting to
be cast off.
"You rascal!" he called, "why
don't you let go the painter 2"
"He's gone, sir," said the boy,
briskly; "he's gene -pots, brushes
and all l"
,Y+
FORGETFUL INDEED.
A minister's wife, a doctor's wife,
and a travelling man's wife met one
day recently, and were talking
about the forgetfulness of their hus-
bands. The minister's wife thought
her husband was the most forgetful
man living, because ho would go to
oharoh and forget his notes, and
no one could make out what he was
trying to preach about.
The doctor's wife thought her
husband was •00 most forgetful, for
he
would often start out to see a
patient and forget his medicine -
ease, and therefore travel miles for
nothing.
"Weli," said the travellingg man's
wife, "my husband beats that He
eanvo home the other day and pat-
ter] me on the cheek and said, 'I
believe I have seen you before, lit-
tle. girl. What is your name I' la
more y making man loss. True
religion in every way will inspire
and lead men to larger living.
We have had enough of the relig-
ion that thought of plan as utterly
depraved, that chose to describe
hien as a vile worn of the dust, and
that expressed its highest wish in
the prayer, "0, to be nothing, no-
thing." Man was made to be some-
thing, and religion is to help him
be something greater, nobler, fair-
er than he ever has dreamed,
When a man has told the Al-
mighty that he is only a vile worm
of the dust, his gratuitous informa-
tion has branded him as a hypo-
crite, for while he may have ac-
curately described himself, ho
would be the first to resent our ac-
ceptance of his own estimate, while
at the same time ho has no right
to utter such a libel on the race.
Every endeavor for better, pur-
er, larger and more ideal living is
en act of worship. Every prostra-
tion in the dust, save in sincere
ecnfession of past failure and with
speedy rising to new endeavor, is
an offence against the love that has
destined us for greatness.
THE DIVINE CALL TO MAN
is to stand up and strive for the
highest levels of life. Make the
most of yourself, for manhood has
been given that we might make it
mean yet more. The godly life is
the life that grows in goodliness, in
godlikeness. The reality of the
sense of the infinite being may be
measured by the earnestness of our
endeavor to attain to the beauty of
that life in our own.
No man ever strives after such
full life without realizing how it
both necessitates and develops the,
spirit of humility, how, as one seeks
after fairer living, all the foulness
and unworthiness stands revealed.
Yet we have to learn to leave these
THE INFINI'.CE GOODNESS.
I would rather trust the honor of
the man who is conscious of beirg
an erect animal than of the one
who interprets his religion in terms
of self-abnegation; the latter is li-
able to live up to his own specifica-
tions. If we would have men up-
right
-right in their ways we must aid
them to being upright in their wor-
ship.
This world needs men who will
stand up on their feet; who are not
afraid of being inclividuals, who
can be counted and who can be
counted on. That was the glory of
that goodly life long ago ie Judea
and Galilee; it counted as an indi-
vidual life. It was a life that stood
up and has cried to all our lives
ever since "Stand up, look up, lift
TRICIJS OF CRIMINALS
NISTA KEN II)ENTITY OFTEN
A tSIS'TS ROG DES '1'o I,Rt'AI'E,
oflleors of the Law 1'rcqu0rttly AI
IOW Rascals to Slip Through
Their Fiugci'ae
Many of the mistakes of detce-
tives are those of mistaken identity.
Some tune ago a man helumgiug to
one of the best known and wealthi-
est families in the country was
greatly surprised and more indig-
nant wben he was arrested by a de-
tective who thought he had captur-
ed amrhninal who recently had os-
caped from prison, Profuse ex-
planations on the part of the cap-
tured man, says Lhe Chicago Tri-
bune, were followed by equally pro-
fuse apologies on the part of the
detective, so that the incident dos -
cd without ill -will on either side.
A mistake with a more tragic re-
sult occurred in England in 1870.
The mistake arose in connect'on
with the famo;ai''Rdlingharn burg-
lary, when two men were brought
before the Newcastle assizes charg-
ed with the robbing of the vicar-
age. It appears that when the vi-
car interrupted his unwelcome visi-
tors they had shot at him, so that
the -charge of attempted murder
was added to that of burglary. The One summer afternoon an exec.
two mon, Branaghan and Murphy; p-
wlro wore charged with the crime, tonally well dressed stranger was
were convicted and sentenced to seen to enter the front gate of"a
life imprisonment, as the evidence bruise in a wealthy neighborhood.
seemed to be convincing beyond the He walked to the door and tried to
shadow of a doubt, They served open it with a key. As he could
seven years of their term. Then not do so he went around to a win -
two other men confessed that they dew and pushing it open,
The fear that they aro wasting
time over trifles or ere being made
the victims of jokes often leads the
police to Orr un the other side.
Scone years ago, one of the most
erupt murderers ever known almost
escaped because two policemen re -
fumed to investigate charges of
whose truth they were in doubt, A
Wren running a}ung behind a cab
came np to two polieemite and gasp-
( d out that a murderer w40 riding
in the cab with the remains of Iris
e ic'tirrl,
Out of breath from his exertion
and too excited for a eminec•ted
story. the police officers were in-
clined to think the man either crazy
or drunk, and therefore turned a
11uaf ear to his allegations. 11 the
pursuer had not met later on a loss
sceptical officer the remains of Lite
murdered person might have been
planed in a safe hiding place and
the murderer have gone undiscov-
ered.
Detectives may arrest the wrung
person sometimes, but more often
they allow a criminal to go free for
fear of holding an innocent man.
Charlie Peace, the noted English
crimin01, used to laugh over the
number of times he had passed a
watchful policeman with a cheery
"Good -night" without arousing su-
spicion, Charlie's frock coat and
HE REAL COUNTRY LIFE
JIOVI' IT IS ENJOYED 1N PA R!,
AWA Y A ('S'I7IALIA,
Ilay Ask 3'oartself and Stay as
Long as You Like•-1?ncer(aiu-
ty of Domestics.
In Australia a month's visit to a
oottntry house would be nothing.
Two months --three months --• tis
weeths- as long as you like --would
chief and sho were giving a dinner.
Among the guests there was a
young Englishman, Suddenly there
was a lull in the ecnversetion,
"Awful pause!" said the boy
Englishman lightly to his lieetess,
Her bends were oa the table at
that muneent,
"So would you have if you'd done
your own washing and ironing,"
was her stz'ango and unexpected
reply.
After breakfast you may help ix,
catch the horses in the paddocks,
and then you can go riding as long
as you ('hoose.
"1)O AS YOU LIIKE"
not be considered tee long, other is the only recognized order of the
thinbeing equal, Nobidy Lhlrlks day. There will be gulf, tennis,
of dgsates. 'Tu w1•ito and nvite you arogilet, polo, kangaroo hunting,
from the 15th to the 30th weeld bo rowing on the creek (but no punt-
lcmg as You
are asked
skedelse stay
yaas 1 ing),, moonlight rides, billy tea, and
F 3 Teeeke g610re. And there will he
yourself to stay we you like. r,.gayety and laughter, music and
oven ---to face all the eolrtingenolOes song, dancing and bridge, night and
--you neither ask nor are asked; day and day and night. And all
ecu simply go. And, having army- day long there will be tea. Tea at
cd, 3+1u remain, writes Louise Mack seven, tea for breakfast, tea in the
in the London Daily Mail, for the sitting room or veranda at eleven,
one unfailing commodity of an Au- tea for lunch, tea with dinner.
stralian country 1OUse 1s welcome. The gentle art of making eoffee
Everything else may give out. 1f is 31012 One of Australia's aeeom-
you stay lung enough there is sure plishments. At 1 o'clock lunch will
to be a time when there are no ser- be served of cold meat, mutton
vents, no ,Wilk, no vegetables, eo chops, curries, salads and a bewil-
dering array of gorgeous fruits,
peaches, nectarines, persimmons,
passion fruit, pineapples, grapes,
guavas, custard apples and melons
heaped up on enormous dishes.
There may or may not be wine.
Probably not, for French and hall -
;neat hat tinct his apparent knowledge (neat but mutton, or even no water,
never ei
any suspicion that the officer might the host and hostess.have at Boeing him out at such a Good nature, gayety, informality
strange hour, -these are the leading notes of life
i.1 every Australian country house.
of the neighborhood lulled to rest abutwthwie ll t.honghteeen
t • of guests going
ay the minds of
alone were CLIMBED IN THROUGH IT.
GUILTY 01? THE ROBBERY. It was a snspicicus proceeding, but
most as the man was dressed in the
Supt. Butcher, one of the
astute detectives Scotland Yard height of fashion the officer on the
ever possessed, was sent down to
investigate the mystery. The cliief
of the local police, - who had been
Men have seen the divine in that
life because it lifted itself toward
the divine. It hese become worthy
of worship because it eonstantly
worshipped by becoming more wor-
thy. It has lifted lives because it
has gone en rising to higher levels,
So if any life would truly worship,
it must realize its own dignity, its
cwn glorious destiny, and, stand-
ing upright, strive out and up for
fullness of living.
HENRY
F. COPE,
THE S. S. LESSON
INTERNATIONAL LESSON,
OCT. 11.
Lesson 17;. God's Promise to David.
Golden 'Text, I. Kings 8. 56.
Verse 1. David dwelt in his
house -The house built for him at
Jerusalem by Hiram, king of Tyre
('2 Sam. 5. 11).
Nathan the prophet -The princi-
pal adviser and counselor of King
David doing a Large portion of his
reign. The relation of Nathan to
David was in many respects simi-
lar to that which Samuel bore to
Saul.
A house of cedar -Cedars of dis-
tant Lebanon had been furnished
b3 Hiram for the royal mansion of
his friend, King David.
Under curtains -In a temporary
tent -compare Word ,Studies for
Sunday, Ootober 4,
2. All that is in thy heart. - Ap-
parently -David had not yet ex-
pressed his desire in words, but
Nathan rightly guessed. what it was
his heart's purpose and desire to
do.
3. It came to pass -The prophet's
first approval of David's sugges-
tion was due to a natural sympathy
with the king's, piety and zeal. But
during' the night's communion with
God .he canoe to look spoil the mat-
ter in another light, and recogniz-
ed that the building of a temple us
which to house the ark would be
too radical a break with the silnpli-
elty of past usage in Israel. The
change, indeed, should come about,
but not abruptly.
5. Brought up Israel --Referring
to the exodus from Egypt,
From one tabernacle to another -
During the long period of several
centuries which had intervened
since the departure of Israel from
Egypt and the giving of the late at
Sinai, many tents and tabernacles,,
together with parts of their fui•-
oishing, mast have worn out and
been sncccssively replaced ' by
others,
6. The judges of Israel - From
Joshua to Samuel.
7. Now therefore --That the lack-
.- of precedent was not the tittle tea -
KILLED OUT OF KINDNESS. son why David's wish could net be
,3. French creditor called upon his granted at this time, the learn from
debtor, whom he fount] at dinner, the narrative of Samuel and kings.
carving a tender 0hi01(0fi, Thus saith 1ehovah-J'ehovah's
Now, sir 2' said the visitor mossago reminds the king of former
"are you going to pay me soon /'I mercies, declares God's present and
"I should only be too glad, y continued favor, and foretells the
dear sir, taut it is impossible, I'm permanency of the dynasty which
cleared out, ruined. I haven't: a has been established in David.
penny] Sheepcote -Or pasture.
"Why, eir, when a man cannot 8. I will make then a 60100 -
pay his debts he has no business Among future generations the king
to he Dating Woken like that I himself is to have recognition and
"Alas, my dear sir," said the Donor.
debtor, lifting the serviette to his 0. The children of wickedness -
eyes, 1. ecleldn t afford fo keep The enemies of Israel, the idola-
it i traits nations round about .
10. Will subdue -Or, "have sub-
dued."
Jehovah will build thee a house -
This promise of Jehovah to David
stands in clear contrast to David's
own purpose to build a house for
Jehovah.
11. Thy seed ... who shall be of
thy sons -The simple promise of the
preceding verse is here expanded.
12. He ehall build me a house -
David's son and successor was to
be a man of peace, because of the
firmly established kingdom which
he inherited from hes father. Hence
he, rather than Daviel who had been
a man of many wars, was the more
suitable person to build a temple
for Jehovah.
14. Forever -We note that the
chronicler naps the words of final
assurance in reference to David's
seed in a Messianic sense, whereas
the author of Second Samuel refers
them directly to David himself
(compare the parallel account in 2
Sam. 7). "Thy house and thy kin-
dom shall bo made sure forever"
(2 Sam. 7. 16)..
18. Sat before Jehovah -In ,pro-
longed communion and meditation,
Humility and gratitude fill the
heart of the king as he reflects up-
on the marvelous promise of Je-
hovah to himself and his posteray.
17, 18. This passage in Second
Samuel (7. 19, 20) reads: "And this
was yet a small thing .iu thine eyes,.
0 Lord Jehovah; but thou hast
spoken also of thy servant's house
for a great while to. come; and this
too after the manner of Wren, 0
Lord Jehovah! And what can Da-
vid say more note thee/ for thou
knowose thy servant, 0 Lord Je-
hovah,"
21. Anti what one nation in the
earth is like thy people Israeli -
Or, "And who is like thy people
Israel, a nation that is alone in the
earth 2"
22. Thou, Jehovah, beeamost their
Goch -The peculiar distinction be-
tween Israel and other surrounding
nations was to be found in the 0ov-
anent releti0nship between Jehovah
and his people.
23. Let the word that thou hast
spoken ... bo established forever
-Daviel gratefully accepts the
terms on which Jehovah's promise
to him and his house have been
given.
24. And kb thy name bo estab-
lished and magnified forever -•-- Or,
"Yea,, let it be established, and let
thy name be ntagnifibb," etc. Da-
vid was permitted during his life-
time to gather together the materi-
al:: with which later his son Solo-
mon built tate temple which ho him-
self had not been permitted by ;Je-
hovah to build, The parallel pas-
sage in 2 Sam, 7 should be careful-
ly oom ared verse by verse through-
out thio study.
,r.., -- a,tr----4•--
lfirst Tram .After all It pays
to he polite," Second Trarnip
!'Notalwa s. The other day I was
� deaf
y
actin deaf and dumb, when a man
gave m6yten cents, t says, 'Thank
you, (sir I and he had lire arrested,
in charge of the investigation at the
time of the robbery, had died mean-
while, but some of the subordinates
who had assisted him were placed
on trial, it being alleged that they
had concocted evidence wilfully, up-
on which evidence the two men
were convicted. After a long trial
the jury manufacturingfoanu Cham innocentvof 1211110 he Lifted his hat and walked from the dreadful heat of the cit as opposed evidence, + y to an English one will
but the judge in summing up point- slowly away. Some hours later, by the harbor, and here you will be the remarkable absence of letter
el out that there had been grievous when the real owner of the house f,1nd the house of the famous Mr. writing among the guests, and
mistakes in judgment on the part returned, the peticernan learned Dash, •tubo once behaved so badly Elizabethis, Ambrosines and Evan -
of the police. that his first suspicions lead been to a houseful of guests. gelines will also be mercifully to
De Tourville, one of the most I correct, for the well-dressed strang- Feeling ill ono day, he went to sack.
terrible of the European criminals,) er had walked off with the jewelry see a doctor. "Dyspepsia," said And yet there will always be more
escaped punishment for a long tinge a t nd 1d la,y3thihisnkid-gloved hancisthat
up -he the doctor. "What you need 's girls than married women. Girls in
One morning -after a moonlight an wines are prohibitive, and Au-
stralians have not yet adopted that
fur your early tea. You sleep, and sage law of drinking elle wino of
it gets cold. The servant, guessing
what has happened, camps back the country and patronizing their
own clarets and burgundies. There
later with another cup, but still you will be lime juice and lemon sirups;
du not wake. She returns; It must and whiskey and soda stand on the
be five times, for when you wake sideboard all day long. Dinner will
up you find five cups of cold tea he at 7, and then champagne will
standing in a row on your bedside he drunk. The ladies will all dress
table for dinner, and remarkably well
too; but if a man or two appear in
morning clothes no one will be in
the least disturbed.
A curious fact will be the entire
absence of rabbit from any menu.
In the paddocks around and all
over the country millions of rabbits
abound, to the destruction of the
beautiful country houses, mostly land, hut never do you find a dish.
bungalows with wide verandas all of rabbit on an Australian country
around where Sydney people fly in house table. Another characteris-
February and March to get away tie of an Australian house party
beat thought that it was the owner When people prove unamiable
of the house, who, having forgot-
ten his key, had used the window ma, which is easily accounted for
011 his means 01 entrance, However, 117 the climate, the large amount
the officer thought it best to watch of meat eaten 'and the abnormal
the place for a while to see if any- quantities of tea consumed.
thing out of the way might occur. IN THE BLUE MOUNTAINS,
A short time later, emerging from three flours from Sydney, are many
the front door, the stranger stop-
ped as if some one had spoken to
him from within, and, saying,
."Yes, Bess, I have my key this
•
because of. the mistake of a detec-
tive. The death of a woman at
Scarborough, by what De Tourville
declared was the accidental dis-
excellent work, the FrenchoAieiaischarge of a revolver, was invest/ -daughters have a lot of people tiful or eery dashing, are put on
gated by a detective from London, ' f the smaller cities sometimes make tboi'e; they'll cheer me up." one side when girls are present.
but.so frank and open appeared 13bo indicrous mistakes. He arrived at his country house An Australian lady who had been
conduct of the great criminal, and The :police in a small seaport that night in a violent temper, living for years in It.ily paid a visit
so flourishing was his appearance, town of France were aroused to ac- swore at the man, the horses, the to Sydney last year and afterward
that the officer was misled, and re_ tion a short time ago by a corn- garden, at the dried up look of the confided to her Italian friends how
potted that he was convinced that iuunication frnnl headquarters. A country, at the giving out of the ice, Bind she ryas i:ci get L;= k to Maly.
the affair was an accident, hatch of six photographs was vi-
de
n- at the heat -at everything, At .�ustre.lia," said •.nn, `T was
When, a few years later, the dosed in the communications, with dinner the guests, who were all "InIt out of evcrytli 1 because I
death of the wife of De Tourville instructions that the original 0f youngish, sank into deeper and was married. It was always Ethel
was being investigated --he murder- them was hiding in their locality deeper silence, appalled by ere aw- who 13105 asked, never me, If by
ed her by hurling her over a ere- suet was urgently wanted. Of fut look ea Mr. Dash's face as he chance 1 diel go I was sorry. I had
deice in the Alps -the body of the course. all of the six pictures were
woman who had died at Searbor- those of one man taken from dif-
ough was exhumed and examined. ferent points of view, according to
It was found that„ far from kill- the Paris system.
lug herself by accident, she had The Paris authorities were as-
heon murdered by some one who eeunded a few dais later on reeeiv-
had shot her in the back. so that ing notice from the zealous officers
a slight examination would have re- cf the little town that they haci sue-
vealed the fact. The mistake of the seeded in lauding five of the men
detective at the time of the Scar- and were sure to capture the sixth the table with his fist, bis eyes
desperate criminal within a few
hours.
--_-.q.
SERIOUS FOR ONCE.
An army captain, on returning
home from India, brought with him
a goodly stock of souvenirs, Among
on.
Although the detectives of Paris
are known the world over for their
cheerful company, bright converse- fact abound in a country house, for
ton and laughter !" Australia is pro -eminently the lent
"Then I'll run up to Bureadoo of the girl. Everything is for her.
to -night," said Mr. Dash. "My Married women, unless very beau -
carved the corned beef thick, and something to eat and then was left
asked why- there was nothing but alone, while all the ynnng people
beef and mutton and a turkey and talked to each other. it's men to
curries and a pigeon pie to eat on get back to Italy, where a married
the table. woman is the only one who counts."
Deader and deader grew the si- And all day 10115 and all night
fence. Nobody could summon up a the front door will stand wide open
whisper, and the strange folk who come
Suddenly Mr. Dash banged en drifting in are never turned away
empty handed.
borough trine had terrible results,
fee in the time De Tourville was
allowed to go free he
COMMITTED TWO MORE MUR-
DERS.
Sherlock Holmes constantly in-
sisted that nothing in a room where
a crime had been committed should
be touched, and this appears to be
a good rule, judging from a mis'
take made by an intelligent police
officer 10 -Ireland. This policeman
Was planed in charge of a room in
which a murder had been commit-
ted to see. that nothing was disturb-
ed nutil his superior officers arriv-
ed. He £onud the time passed slow-
ly amid such melancholy surround-
ings and proceeded to console him-
self with a pipe. He lit a candle
which ho found on the mantlepiece,
and finding a crumpled -up piece of
paper on the floor, he used that for
lighting his pipe.
As he was afraid that his superi-
ors would object to his smoking
while en duty, lie opened the win-
dow in order to let out the smell
of the tobacco and in order to see
them when they approached, so
that he could put his pipe out in
time. It was discovered later that
in indulging in the innocent plea-
sure of a pipe of "tobaocy" he de-
stroyed three of the most import-
ant clues.
The length of the candle which
he had lighted would have indicated He (vainly) --"See that sweet lit -
the tilno when the murder had been tie girl in pink? I was engaged to
oenunitted, the paper with which he her the whole of last summer,
had lighted his pipe, judging from Stranger (eagorly)- Very glad to
the charred remains, had been left hoar it. I am the lawyer she's
there by the murderer himself, and camnissioned to sue you for breach
the policeman had forgotten who- c f promise."
ther he had found the window lock- Magistrate ---"What is the charge
ed when he opened it to let out the against you this time?" I3oggs -
smell of smoke. Furthermore, "They °etched maa-stealing Oran -
THE KEEN -NOSED DETECTIVE Beat yet warship'gMagistrate
"Didn't I tell you when you were
who was put en the case smelled the here before not to steal anything
odor of the tobacco smoke andnob " Beggs -"No,
, ,, morel gg No, yor worshipp;
knowing whence it originated, .Yon said not to steal any more le,
spent a lot of valuable tints in trae- mons, butyet didn't soy a word
about oranges.''
blazing with indignation,
"Laugh and talk, can't you,- •
,yen!" he cried.
But no I Even in gay Australia
you cannot gibe people into chee,•
ful conversation and laughter.
Breakfast, when a good many
them was a, pair of laughing jack- steaks and chops are eaten, is at
ass05, which he entrusted to one of half past eight, but you may be as
the sailors, Tom Pinch. late as you like. It is even p0ssihle
Mao! The unaccustomed strip that you will come down so late that
board life did not agree with the th0 servants aro busy with other
creatures, and, in spite of alI Toni's things and yon will go out to the
care, they pined and finallydied. kitchen and cook yourself a chop
When he discovered the ceras- or bacon and eggs and make fresh
tropho, Tom was in despair. tea. No one will think anything of
"1 daren't tell the captain I" it.
"`Don't shirk it, mate," said leis NOTHING IS LOOKED i7P,
psi. "`Break it to trim gently,
You'll find it'll be all right,"
The advice seemed sound, and
Tom sought the gallant captain.
" 'Sense me, sir," the said, ""you
know them things below -what yen
call larfin jackasses 1 Well, sir, they
ain't got nuffin to larf at this morn-
ing."
EXCELSIOR,
Uncle --- And what will you do
2211011 you are a man, Tommy?
Tommy -I'm going to grow a
beard.
Uncle -Why 1
Tommy --Because then I won't
have nearly so much face to wash„
ing It down,
Ella --"I'm to be married tomor-
row, and I'm terribly nervous."
Stella -"Yes; I suppose there al-
ways is a chance of the man getting
away up to the last minute.
Mrs. M'Carthy-:-"Yer wages is
ton cents short this wake, Mike. •
M'Cartlry-•"Yis, Mary Ann. Wo
had an explosion nn Toosday, an'
Lb' foorman docked me fur the time
I was in 1311' air(."
Carleton -- 'How did you enjoy
and you may take what you like.. Y'ourself at Mrs. Hamilton's last
without asking. It nu1y be that yon' night / Cymeus - "First-rate.
will have to help wash up after-
ward. Yes I Even in the most lux-
urious country houses this may
happen. Servants are always an
uncertain quantity in Australia,,
and every Australian girl and wo
man knows that sire may be called
upon to "do things" even w110n 5110
goes to stay with friends.
But nobody minds. Nobody minds
anything, in fact. The Premier's
wife is ironing her blouses in the
wadi house, Lord M., the young
Englishman, is cleaning his hoots in
the scullery. Four ladies and six
men are washing up in the kitchen.
Tho Premier is feeding the fowls.
The daughter of the 1mttee is roiling
cut pastry. Half a dozen people Aleck Brown, a well-known work -
are clearing away the breakfast ing tailor in Edinburgh, was also
table and making beds. The three a character in his way. On ono 0c -
maids have ell gone off without no- rasion he attended a temperance
Lice. The hostess is driving around meeting in the city, and during an
in a buggy trying to find otters, addressiven bya shabbily -dress -
She will have hard work to find e'l speaker he frquently called outs
them, but she has wired to the Sieg- 'Order, order l" when he thought
istry Office in Sydney to send up the audience were interrupting by
three more by to-niglet'1, train. Lot their of
applause. After
s hope they come. Lot to hope one of Aloek's 0rrtleirete the speak -
they stay, at any rate till the next er said, "Will that gentleman
holiday, for the Australian domes. please inform me, what kind of or
ti0 has one direful habit ---she leaves der ho wants/" "Oh," replied
when a holiday comes around. Aleck, gnito undaunted, 'if yo pit
Renee the 'story of Lady 1+., a it that way, I'll talc' an order free
Chief Justice's wife. One night this yi. for a decent suit o' elites."
There wasn't a song or recitation
sprung on ns during the entire ev-
ening."
A gentleman who was trying a
horse with a view to making a pur-
chase noticed that after driving the
animal throe miles he pulled pretty
hard, requiring a steady rein and
constant watehiug. ''1)o you tliinl
this is just the Norse for a lady to
drivel" he asked. "Well," answer-
ed the .owner, "1 must say I
shouldn't want to be the husband
of the woman who could drive.,that
horse."