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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Advance, 1911-09-28, Page 6• 40/44)4 4 ti41, IN THE HUNTING SEASON. (New York Sun.) Joseph donned hie visit ot ineny caters. **So I won't be mistaken for a deer, be explained. 4•40-• 1 M PERIL, RBABLE. (New York Sun.) Damocles saw the Sword. "I came for a have, not a hair cut." be announced, calmly. CORREOT-GO UP' HEAP. (Philadelphia Itecorda Tommy -Poo, what le a bigamist? TenunY'e top -A bigamist, my son, is a man who ame more wives than brains, EASY. (Harper's Bazar.) Whito-He.ve you any tratiele in mak- ing both ends meet? Green -Not a bit. The end of my money and the and of the week always come at the same Rime. 4 _ or r•-. HER CHIEF AILMENT. (Philadelphia littoral.) First Doctor -Mrs. I3Jones seems to be a chronic invalid. What is she suffering from? Second Doetor-Principelly enlargement of the imagination. 4. • EATING IT. (Boston Trenseripte airs. Ilashleigh-Sorne of my borders make A disturbance when I don't have soup for dinner. Friend -I notice some of them make a disturbance when you do, A RATE MAKER. (Washington Star.) "You say you charge extra for sum - later 'boarders, who are trying to reduce their weight?" • "Yes," replied Farmer Corntossel. "I have to. They always develop the big- gest appetites." HIS DECISION. (New 'Perk Sun.) It:nicker-What influenced -your son in his chotee of a college? Erocker-ale picked the one whose yell was best suited to his voice. A SYMPATHIZER !mum SPORTS. (Washington Stare "The rivalry among the political mattes Is getting to be somewhat fierce." "Yes," replied young Mrs. Torkins cheerfully, "you'd Almost think they were contending for a baseball pennant.' EASY TO BELIEVE. (Beam. Transcript.) The Medical Journal remarks: "His death 'put a stop, for the time being, to his investigations." This does not strain credulity, ••••• CLEANED OUT. (Boston Transcript.) ears.'Groueh-Oh. Is there anything I haven't been through since I married you? Grouch (calwily)-Nothing in the shape of a pocket, certainly. NO CROWN FOR WILLIE. (National Monthly,) "Wouldn't you like to go to heaven, Willie, and wear a nice gold crownr asked the Sunday school teacher. "Not if a dentist is going to put it on," said Willie. THE WAY OF THEM. (Catholic Standard and Times.) "Oh, ryes, he's a very intellectual man." "What rnakes you think that?" "I Judged so from his talk." "Why, what does he talk about?" "He's forever talking about how intel- lectual he Is," STRUCK A RICH VEIN, (Kansas City Journal.) "I hear your son is making money as - a. sculptor?" "That's what. I set up a sample of his statuary in our cornfield and now we ain't had a crow around since. Now he has more orders than he kin fill." - FOSTERING TALENT. (Philadelphia Record.) "You refuse to allow your son to study spelling and grammar,",said the teacher. "Absolutely," replied Mr. Groucher. "I want him to try his band at current lit- erature, and I don't propose to spoil his dialect and slang." CAUGHT. (Exchange.) Kidder -Do you know that women talk less in February than in any other month of the year? Green -I don't see how you figure that out. Kidder -.It's two days shorter, you ninny. RESCUED, (Washington Star.) "Do any fishing this summer?" "Some," replied the patiently cheerful man. "Have any luck" "A tittle. I managed to keep several greedy monsters from swallowing my brand-new tackle and running away with OHI (Boston Transcript.) Marks -My wife manages nicely on the alimony she gets. Parks -Why, 1 didn't know you were separated. Marks -We area% I refer to the ali- mony She wins at bridge from Mrs, de Vorsay. ••••-- HANDY. (Toledo Elade.) Agent -There is the motor ear you want. If anything goes wrohg with the machinery you don't have to crawl under the'car to put It right. Customer -you don't? Agent -If the slightest thing goeb wreng with the machinery the car In- stantly turns upside doern. HE CAUGHT IT. (louson Pos.) "You look warm." "I have been chasing a hat." 'le!d your hat blow off?" "It wits not my het. It belonged to a somebody else and It had a pretty girt under it." d you catch I(?" "Yes. My Wife saw me chasing it." A RUN ON THE BANK. (Youngitown Telegram.) "Willie, inama has a great surprise for you." "Ale,1 know what It le -big bruvver is back from his vaeation." 'How did you know?' "ely bank won't rattle any more." , REVISING IT DOWNWARD. (Chicago Reeord) "Then i'm to tell the firm," the bill cellector mid, making a memorandant in hie notebook, "that you'll probable' settle this account next week?" "well, I'd 'hardly nut it that wee," hesitatingly answered the other. "Pre - belay is a pretty strong word; better notice It ponalblY." VERY UNPOPULAR, (Philadelphia. Marcia). "At last I have discovered why we did- n'f sell more of those bathing sults," re- marked thti head of the department. "Why Is it?" naked the proprietor. '1 overheard, one of the saleslaillem OM- phasisifit the fact that they wouldn't shrink," Was the reply. FAN STRATEGY. Behind he bars Milady rests, !Secure from all advent., s; And it might wen ra la. as tees be - A relief. or Metal of roquetry- ee over it, with merry Jogs. Slha sends the meat alluring glaneee: tne eilsellusioned Man. 'Mid taunts of meek derision, Telseevers It Is not s fen, And he le In nrierm. Meoney, In The Smart Pet. 1,1,1,11.11.0•A 11.1,14.1,8EWIL Sweet Miss Margery Lord Court heti weleorned Mese Itw- sQn and courteously, and even in their brief meeting a mutual liking Aprung up between :hem. The earl was delighted to heti tha flush of pleasure, called up by tier presence, on Margery's Nee, Med lie added his entreatiee o hia wiles' to urge the gove.ruese to seay longer; but their pleadinge were vain, and Margery meld only kiss her true fr:end and let her depart, having first extraeted from her tt, promiee Of an early visit to Court Manor, The afternoonoon which Mise Laweon left was, gloomy ana wet. and 'Margery felt sad and e little lonely as ehe eet with her books and work. Her husband had gone to the club before lancheon, and she had apided to netke the best of at long Afternoon 'ben the deer opened and he appeared .., "Do you feel inclined to go out, my darling?" he asked, tenderly, bending to Imprint a kiwi on her brow. Margery looked up inquinngly. "Beeauee" he explained, "I should like to take you with me to call ueatn old friend who is ill. 1 had no idea he was in England. Ae a rule, he is ,van- dering eound the world in a most extra- ordinary feeble's. But I saw Nottewey at the club, and he told me Ceram hoe been down with rheumatic fever for,the lest six weeks and wee quite alone. So ( looked in on him for a few rninuaea, and, haying mentioned iny young wet°, Ie pressed me to brine you round to ,see him, if you had nothing better to do."„ "1 will go, with pleasure," replied Margery, rising, "Who is he, Nugent?" "Sir Douglas Gerant. I knew him years ago in Eng/and; but we inet able:4d principally, and I liked him very much. He et it peoullar, almost uncouth, Man, but so kind and good -as tender as a woinan and most unselfish. For these weeks; past he has been very ill; but be wnuld not let his people know, and has been attended only by his servant, who has been his companion in all his travels." "And he would really like to see rue?" queried Lady Court, putting her dainty work into its basket. "He seemed to wish it. 1 happened to mention that I was married; and, when I spoke of my happiness, he said, in his old abrupt manner, 'Bring her to see me, Court, 0 she will not be fright- ened by such an old savage!' so I came at once. But, if you would. rather .not go... J. "Oh, I should like to see him:" broke in Margery, "Poor man, all alone! And I have nothing to do this Afternoon. I Will not be long, Nugent." With a tender smile the early watch- ed her graceful figure flit through the doorway; then he walked to the fire- place, and, leaning his back aeoainst,it, gave himself up to pleasant thoughts. The careworn look, the expression • of trouble and pain, Was gone from his face; hope seemed, written on every manly feature, and the handsome dark eyes flashed with a light of gladness that spoke plainly of his altered life. Margery was soon back. She had put on her sables, a round cap of the sante 'rich fur surmounting her red -gold curls, and for once she wore no veil. She had determined to hide herself no longer. She had nothing to fear; it was site Who had been wronged and insulted. Pride lent her strength. and she felt that her eyes could meet Vane's clearly and cold- ly now, even though her heart still ach- ed with the pain Stuart Crosbie httd mused. The earl settled her comfortably in the carriage, and thenatepped in him- self. "Thi e weather is terrible," he said, as they started. "Once this law business is eettled, Marger t, I think I ahall take you to a warmer climate, to see the sunshine and breathe the scent of flow- ers." "There is one pilgrimage 1 must make before we do that," returned 'Margery in a low voice. "I' cannot rest till I have visited Enid's grave." The earl raised her little black -gloved hand to his lips. "You speak only my heart's thoughte, my ,own; but I hesitated to take yeti to the manor in this wet gloomy weather. I thought the sunshine, would-" • "Sunshine is beautiful; but the man- or is home, and ib is near her." Mergery ,smiled faintly; she was com- pelled to speak these words, for she felt almost overpowered by this tender devotion. and suffered miserably as she thought how poorly she coulhl return it. Henceforth it mattered little to her where she lived; but, if her choke of the matter brought him pleasure, she was glad. "Home," repeated Lord Court, tend- erly, "Ali, Margery, you can not know what a wealth of happiness there is in that word! Thank you, dear, for utter- ing IL Yee, we will go home." They were silent after this till they reached a quiet street in an unfashion- able quarter, and presently the earl handed Margery into the door -way of a tall,gloomy-looking house. "Gerant always stays here," he SOW, as they went upstairs. 411911 you remain here, my dearest, till I see if he is ready te receive you?" Margery smiled, and weited in a room Diet looked cezy and picturesque in Phe fire -glow. The walls were hung with weapons of all natione; a heterogetteone mass of quaint curious things were grouped in corners; carved and painted gourds were placed here and there, with ivory ornaments and rftre bits of Mutt. It preeented a /strange contrast to the ,lull, ordinary exterior of the house, and Mergery found inuch to attract her till her husband returned. "Now nig darling, come With Me. Loose that heavy cloak, or you will be to warm; and, if the ala niati asks you to sing, will you gratify him?" "With all my heart." Lord Court led his wife forties a pas- sage, arid pushed open a door almost dark, but Margery saw a low_ flat eouch pulled near the fire, with n gray head resting on tile pillow. She could. not /mn the invalbre fnee properly, but a faint something' in the dark eyes struck her familler. "I have brought my Wile to See you, go I prereepa, Gerant." melt the earl, eheerfully, lotting Margery to the ein eh. "li Ir kind of you to come, Lady 1' curt," the siek man anewere.d, hi a Wilt, weak voiee. "I have known your linebanila long, long times -years, eh, 'Where had 'Steller, literd that vmee :elfere? it outwitted familiar, feint end husky as it was. "1 am very glad to eome." *he re- sponded einiely. and took the Afar the Servant pushed forward. •••••••,11.0e. "And Margery will sing for you, if you like." • "Mergeryl" whispered the siek man; and then lie tried to ratite his head frOM the pillow. "Margery!" he repeated. "1 thiuk Sir Douglas is 111," liald Mar- gery, rather frightened, turning to the tier vent. "It is weakness, my lady," returned the man. "Let me raise hint g little," Said the earl. "I think he wants to speak." Ina lower tone he added to the eervent, "He's much weaker than he was this morning; what is itr "Spasms at the heart, my !Ord; hie heart is very weak." "Don't he alarmed, my darling," ends - pined the earl to Margery, Then be .put his ann round the sick man, and ralised him easily into a sitting posture. Sir Douglas tried to murmur thanks, but for a few seconds his weakness was too great. Then, as his strength came back, he stretched out It thin white hand to the girl sitting in the shadow. "Come into the light," lie whispered; "that I may see your face." Margery slipped her hand into the speaker's weak, trembling one and bent toward him as the earl stirred the fire into a blaze. The girl's eyes met the sick man's hollow dark ones, which were full of strange eageraess and excitement, and again she seemed to remember them. Sir Douglas dosed his long fingers over hers, and drew her nearer and near- er, till she bent over him. "Closer," be murmured. "Yee -1 -can see -it is! Heaven is-goodl You are His strength eeemed to fail entirely. Margery bent still nearer ea he sunk back upon the cushion, and her heath- altaped locket escaped and dangled against his withered hand, "He is fainting!" she said, hurriedly. "Look how pale he is!" His eyes opened as she Brake, and wandered from her face to the little gold locket. A spasm of pain caused his mouth to twitch; his breath ciente in gasps; he tried to openthe locket, and his eyes spoke words that his lips re- fused to Atter. Then, as the earl drew Margery back, the lids closed over them, and. the face became calm. "It is only a faint, Come away, my derlingi 1 wish 1 had not brought you; but he was almost well this morning." Margery suffered ber husband to lead her into the other room ant place her in a chair. Her nerves were unstrung, and she was -full of a vague incompre- hensible excitement. "Go back to him," she murmured. "J., am quite well. 1 can not leave till 1: know that he is better, Poor man! How strange he looked!" The earl obeyed her; and, when she was alone, Margery put her hanals ever her eyes and tried to think millet the memory MIS the sick man had brought back to her. "Is.he better?" asked Lord Court, on his return to Sir Douglas' side. "It was only a faint, Murray?" The man looked up from his prostrate master, and ,shook his head sadly. "It is the end, I fear. May. 1 make so bold as to ask you, ray lord, to ring Unit bell? I shall send to his cousin immeda ately. Mr. Stuart should come at once. I hope her dadyshie is not frightened? Sir Douglas always seemed strange when he heard the name of Mareery." "She is anxious to know how he is. I will take her home, and return as soon as possible. Yes, send for his relatives, Murray: The Crosbies. you say? Wen, they ought to come. Poor old Gerant!" "Thank you kindly, my lord; 1 will. tie Will be glad to see yon, 1 know, If he recovers; but 1 never saw hint so bad as this before." The earl waited till he saw the heavy eyelide raised, then he returned to Mai: gery. "Yes, he IA bettef, darling," he said. in answer to her eager inquiry. "Come -I will take you home, and then 1 will return to learn how he is progress. Ing. Murray is going to sand to his peo- ple, the Crosbies, of Crosbie Castie, and they will look after him." "The Crosbies of Ceosble Castle!" The words rang in Margeryes ears. In an in- stant she remembered where she had met this man before. She saw once again the hot dusty lane, the lodge -keeper's wife, the strange man who had quee- tioned her so curiously and spoken the tenible words that blighted her young heart, and. she knew that Sir Douglas Gerant and that man were one and the same. She stood silent, almost overcome by the conflicting feelings within her breast, and was scarcely conscious that the earl led her downstairs, and she n'as driying home. CHAPTER XXIV. That she possessed some strange mag- netic influence over Sir Douglas Gerant Margery did not doubt, but what it was she could not tell; it seemed so vague, so mysterious, and yet her heart was filled with. great and unfathomable ernoe bons. What had she in common with Sir Douglas (knot? Why should he gaze at her so eagerly? She sat very' quiet in her carriage, yet every nerve was The earl noticed her manner, but at. tributed it to the syinprithy she felt for the sick man. Re regretted now that lie had taken her to see his old blend, but Sir Douglas had seemed quite eonvalee- cent in the morning, and he had thought the visit, might do him good. On reaching her room, Margery let her husband remove her heavy mantle and her cap without a word; then, as he steed looking undecided beside her, she turnect to him, "Please go back to him. 1 am right, and I should like to know how he is now." "Are you sure you are better, darling': You were quite frightened." "Yes, yes! Go; perhaps you may be of some serviee," The earl stooped and hiesed her, and waa soon vatting away in a hansom, while she sat silently thinking ante even. dering over what had occurred. Lord Court found Sir Douglas teeter- ed to eonseiousness, but too weak to nt. ter a word. Already there was a great alteration in the svortt ram and tha siek man's eyes, as they Wanderett with a restlese eagerness round the room, attuck the earl with sudden witless. "I've send dotal to the none," Attid Murray, Who was svetehing his beloved master; "and I've also sent to Mr. Stu - art's club. He may be in London; if en, he'll come ai quickly as he ean. I hope he ise for Sir Douglas would like to tot Iiim, I kitow. Many era MAUI, a time I've wanted to Id Mr. Mimi: know, but he inealdn's let rne; he Was alwityri thinking luril be better in a day or two, and was longitig to be off. He has fret. tet eo through his illness, my lord, it has quite worn him out." "Have you sent for the doetors?" ask. ed the earl, 'They've just gone, my lord. They didn't say much- 'Give him a teaspoon- ful of 'brendy every half hour,' they itsgbalii.drIng.L. "How ,: wasted. lie is," thought the earl and 1 know what that Menus my -"how ahangedi 1 while he could speak; he looks as if he wished. to *ay owe- • Be bent and asked Sir Douglao if then was anything he speeially weeded; but the rigid lips did. uot move -only the eyes seemed to plead snore, than be. gore, The earl's presence appeared to give him pleasure, for, if liord Court moved, the thin, trembling hand went - out toward him, and Murrey construed this to wish for his friend to remelt!, An hour passed without change, and the earl was thinking of sending a mes- sage to Margery, explauatory of his long absence, when the door opened, and the sick ma'am face suddenly altered, He made g feeble attempt tie rise, hie hands ntoved restlessly to end.fro, and hie lips parted to speak, as A young man bent over his couch. It was Stuart tamable, "Cousin," he .intid hurriedly, with 'real pain on hia face and in his velee, "my dear cousin, oh, why did not .you send for me before?" Then, tinning to the eoevant, he added, "Murray, you should' have let me know! Six week's 111, and .1„ thought him in Austrelied It has dis- tressed me more than 1 can say,” "Sir Douglas would not let me write, sir," replied Murray, as he put the brandy to the invalid's lips, "Lord Court : came m to -day, and he's the Brat persou as ha e been." • "It was a shook to me, too,Mk, Crom- bie," remarked the earl. "Gerant and I. have been old friends for years, I am heartily glad you have come." "You are very kind," said Stuart, put- ting out his hand; "but can not he have something to give him strength?" Then, turning to the invalid, he added, "You want to speak tei me. cousin?" He knelt down by the bedside as he mspeonk,es, faaene.dlooked eagerly into the sick "Sir Douglas ha* tried to speak, but he eau net, Mr, Stuart -yet." "Hush," interrupted Stuart, putting up his hand -the pale lips were Moving. "You -will -e -not forget-" • "My promise?" finished Stuart, gently. "No; everything you wish shall be done."ir Sir Douglas fixed his eyes on Lord Court, and a faint sound came from his lips. The earl bent his head, the bet- ter to hear. "I can not hear," he murmured sadly to Stuart. "Give me the brandy, Murrey," said Stuart. "Conte, that is right; we shall have you well and hearty, soon, .cottein," he added to the sick man. "Do not distress yourself; I will do all I pro- mised." Sir Douglas looked at •him 'earnestly, as 0 his dark eyes would read his in- most heart. Then a, change came over his face, and he smiled faintly. His head was raised for a minute from the pillow, and a whisper fell on their, anx- IOUS ears: "Gladys -wife -a -it -alma -•come-to- Margery-little-Mar-gery - thank - heaven!" The voice died away, a conneleive tremor seized the heavy eyelids, which closed slowly over the dark eyes; glazed with a film now the head sunk back, and with a sigh the spirit of 'Douglas Gerant fled from jts earthly abode. Stuart knelt on, whilst hot team were stealing down his cheeks. A solemn trust' was confided to his cave -of what nature he knew now. The ne'er-do-well, the wandering nature, the truant from home, had not been alone all his life. The name of "wife" passed from his lips its death closed his eyes. Some tale of sadness, of disappointment, was to come, and with it was linked e name that had destroyed Stuart's joy and youth -the name of "Margery.", A strange thrill ran through the young man's frame when at last he rose front his knees. There was now a bond of sympathy stronger than had ever ex- isted in life between himself and his dead cousin. "It is not true! I will not believe iti The whole thing is a romance front be- ginning to end. Douglas Gerant al- ways -6' "Mother, do not forget you are speak- ing of a 'dead male" broke in Stuart Crosbie, quietly and sternly, "1 will not listen to such words." Mrs. Crosbie turhed an faced. her son. Stuart was leaning against the mantel- piece in it room of a London hotel, ids face pale, yet determined. Mr. Croebie, dressed in heavy black robes half hidden with crape, was walking to and fro, vex. ed and wrathful. "Do you mean to say yeti will not dispute this iniquitous will?" she aekti, sharply. • "Certainly not, T have no right. at is a most just one." "Una you will let Beecham Park less from your hands into the clutchee of some low -born girl who has no note right to it than a beggar in the stteet?" "Except the right of a datigater." "Daughter!" repeated Mrs. Croebie, with scorn, "There was no martiage, and, even if such was tile ease, the girl is not to be found; he Met trace of the mother and child for sixteen years, and now has conjured up some romance about a likeness in a village wench." "Mother, you are not Just or temper- ate. Douglas Gerant has set forth in this letter the sorrow of his life. With his dying late he claimed my promise to fulfil his wisluie, and a sliall•do so." eYou are mad, Stuart!" declared bie mother coldly. "But,' she aaded, with a sneer, "I need not look very far for your motive; it is for the sake of the girl, this Margery Daw, that you ate determined to siterifice everything. Had Sir Douglas seen a resemblanee In any other woman, the desire to carry. out Ids Wishes might not have beam no strong. Yon have no pride, Stuart, uot a--" "I have honor, mother," Stuart Interrupted, his brow clouded, his face stern, "You wrong me and insult me. The past is gone. Why 1..ting it back? I shall tlo my duty for Douglas Gerafit's sake, for honor, justice, right and truth'a sake, and for nothieg elee. 1 shall seek out Margery Llaw; I have pledged myself to the delta and shall keep my word." "And what will Vane say to that quixotie course r' "Vane is a true -hearted woman; she will say 1 am i•ight. But should he not, then I eatt not help it 1 am re- solved." Stuart turned to ilie fire as he spoke, And looked into the blaze with a pained, weary expreselon tet his Mee. "The world, will cail you math" ob- served Mre. Crosbie, 'dossing to the window and sinking into it elmir, "and Vane will be greatly dieplertsed." "Vane lo'* s me --$0 you my," re- plied Stutirt quietly; Vita he turned to the table And heroin to write rapidly. .(To be Continued.) - 41,101, Blobbe •-"Borrowell has surh taking Ways." Slobbs "Vele he might culti- vate A few bringing bail owes.' A WOMAN'S rRIEND innplring Testimony That Tolle How a Sick Woman Gan Quickly Re, gain Health and Strength. "For yeers 1 was thin and delicate. 1 lost color and was eardly tired; a yellow pallor, pluiplea and. blotches on my tace 'were not only mortifying to my feelings, but because I thought rny Skin would never leek nice again 1 grew despondent. Teen iny appetite failed. 1 grew very weak. Vatioue reznedies, pills, tonics and teblete I tried without permanent benefit. A visit to my sister put into my bends a box of Dr. Hamilton's Pills. She placed reliance upon Mein and row that they have made me a well woman I would not he without them whatever they might Goat. I found Dr. Hamilton's Pille by their mild yet seleratiang action very suitable to the delicate character of a woman's nature. They never once .griped me, yet they established regular- ity. My appetite grew keen-iny blood red and pure --heavy rings under iny eyes ,disappeared, and to -day my skin in as clear and unwrinkled as when I was a girl. Dr. Hamilton's Pills did it all." The above straightforward letter. front Mrs. J. Y. Todd, wife of a well-known miller in Rogersville, In proof sufficient that Dr. Hamilton's Pills are a wonder- ful woman's medicine. lase no' other pill but Dr. Hamilton; fede, per box. All dealers, or. The Cetarrhozone Kingston; Ontario, SIGNS OF A POOR HORSEMAN. Horses handled roughly and rushed into stalls without rubbing, cleaning or sponging. Horses allowed to drink their fill, no matter how hot; or aot watered at All, Grain fed before horses are rotted and while overheated. Feet not washed or examined =tit horse goes lame. Horses receiving no water after eating their hay, until next meriting. Scanty bedding. No bedding on Sundays until night and horses watered only twice. Ha yand grain of poor quality and insufficient quantity. Bran mash net given because it is too much trouble. Hay -loft duty and dirty, and dust shaken down into horee'e eyes and nose. Harness unclean; sweat allowed to accumulate on inside of collars. Horses not shod frequently enough and left too smooth for slippery streets. NOTHING FOR NOTHING -E. Phillips Oppenheim, the popular English novelist, apropos of the many banquets given in his honor, said in Bos- ton: "11 these rich banquets continue, I shalt grow like Rossini -a fat gourinet. But I hope I shall never grow as ungal- lant as Rossini. "Ono of his mbnirers, a beautiful marquise, desired to meet the great Im- poser. To her emissary, Rossini said: "'I do nothing for nothing, 1 the lady brings me a very fine bunch of as- paragus she can' take a view of me at her leisure: He then glaneed down at his enormous abdomen, and, patting it with his hand, he said: "rile lady may even walk around me if she pleases, but that will cost two bunches of asparague.'"-Waslungton Star. PILES CURED AT HOME BY NEW ABSORPTION METHOD If you suffer from bleeding. itching, blind or protruding Pales, send me your address, and I will tell you how to eure yourself at home by the new itla sorption treatment; and will also send some of this home treatment free for trial, with references from your own lecality, if requested. Immediate relief and permanent euro assured. Send no money, but •tell others of this olfer. Write to -day to Mrs. 31, Summers, Box la 8, Windsor, Ont, Side Lights on History. young Miss Liberty, disgusted, climbed out of her cradle. "It isn't a eradie at all!" she exclaim- ed, "It's nothing but a crib!" For Peter Faneuil, who was a better merchant than a °cabinet' maker, had neglected to put rookers under it, les se Miriard's Liniment Relieves Neuralgia Snow White. While this is by to means a white season, as Many of its predecessors have been called, the white gown and the all' white toilet are in strong evidenee among the most fashionable sets, But the white ,gown with colored accessories, such as hat, parasol, girdle, and often coat and scarf or ruff, is more promin- ent. Rose shades, khaki color and the golden browns and soft dull blues are popular tonee.foy such ;Combinations. RY MURINE EYE REMED a s Nita, Weak, WornWatal7E9a IBC '4 GRANULATED EYELIDS./ MutineDoesn't$Inart-SoothesEyePalt brash* SA Ihrbiatre Remits. Haat 2Se. Sea $1.01 Muria. Fla Seam la Aseptic Tabs,. 21e, $1.130 EYE.DOONS AND ADVICE PREE BY NAIL MurineEyekemedyCo.,Chittage LAMENT OF THE CAR HOG. / used to rush. X used to crush, I used to run and leap. And women who stood in my way I'd toes all in a heap. How X would dash and smasb and crash On Brooklyn Bridge at tight! 'The lame or blind I'd never mind; I'd fill 'e mall with fright. I'd fill 'em all with fright. Young, old or fair, I didn't care wbat womankind I'd Meet, I'd rip their clothes or dent a nose, And Menlo: upon their feet. I'd vank the eurls of little girls, I'd butt and 1 would Ida; I'd smash O. hat or break a slat, Se a seat I could pick.' Last Welt a sop told me to stop; itturehed a loud "Melia!" Z got my eerie he grabbed my feet Aral yanked Inc from the ear. "Hereafter 'tis the woman first," The cornier fairlyroared: And, hilly geei Say! He made ME ilide flu the running board. -Tom W. J'ackso.n Antither Failure. Tempted by the warm rain the tingle. worm wriggled out of the ground and started moss the cement sidewalk. When it as about 11.'1 way o'er it there tame a sudden i go in the weather and tlie wont itoze fast 16 the walk. This thing of being a harbinger elt epring is all right hi poetry. ivat in real- ity it is rough on the harbinger. q95- 1viverimenti5 abroad demonstrate that electricity stimulate.' plant growth. :111,alisiro•ser - - - loki ?Thom ntFuse. Englieh Ortittess Which Turni Garbage into theful Building Blocks. At Woolwich and ut Nelson, England, garbage is incinerated in_furnaces, The combustion gases, after heating boilers. in which steam is produced far the gen- eration of an electric lighting current, flow through tubes eurromuled by air, which is Um heated to 300 degrees F., and is then blown through the furnaces. The operation leaves a large quantity of clinkers, vomposed of silica, alumina, lime and iron, with a litttle magnesia,. potash and soda, which is utilized in making sand -lime brick. The ground clinkers are mixed with quick -lime and about 10 per cent. of water,•to form a soft mortar, which is stored in brick eisterns for a day or two to insure the eoinplete slaking of the lime, and tbeu. goes to the briek-making, machine. The fresh bricks are placed in closed veseels and subjected for eight or ten hours to the action of steam at eight atmos- pheres pressure.. When takee out tbe bricks are sufficiently bard for imme- diate use. The hardening ie caused, ae in the ease of ordinary sand -lime brick, says the Scientific American, by the contain. ation of the lime with the silica of the clinkers, at the high temperature of the steamer. The quality of the Nelson garbage brick is equel to that of good blue Staffordshire brick, except that it is rather more hygroscopic. Large building blocks mad pavement tiles are made by similar.proeesses. Death After a Scratch Morris Quatzam, an eleven-year-ola Wincloor boy, fell off his bicycle and scratched his wrist. He thought noth- ing .of the injury, but blood poison set in and he is dead. Such incidents as these -by no means infrequent -ought to make people real- ize the danger that may lie even in the smallest flesh wound. Take a simple illustration. When a knife, a rusty needle, a splinter of dirty wood, a barbed wire fence, or it thorn seratehee the hand, the latter is inoculated with germs, of which the air about us is full. The way to avoid serious reetute is to eleAnse the wound and apply Zana Buk. Zam-latik is a powerfati, yet painless germ -killer, end weep .apriVed to the broken skin is absorbed into the tissue' instantly 'destroying the erms thatspreed disease ,aisi stop- ping the pain and smarting. That is why Zatm-Buk is so popular wit(' chil- dren. The flesh Hine soothed and purified, the wound is made perfeetly healthy, and all poison and eause of feetering removed. Having done this, Zam-Iliik then proceeds to heal the wound or sore and new healthy tissue is built up 1ii a quick, painless end perfect manner. Zam-Buk must not be confaisea with ordinary ointment's. Zanalitik unique preparation, possessing antisep- tic-, soothing and healing qualities that are bot to be found together in any other preparation. It is not only a unique healing balm, but, it is also a skin food. For all skin diseases and in- juries•-euts, bruisee, burns. eczema, chafing, ulcers, ringworm, etc, it ie without equal. It -is also mad wide- leafor piles, for which it may be regard- ed as a specific. All druggiets and stores sell at an cents a box, or poet - free from Zam-Buk Co., Toronto, for price. Refuse harmful imitationS.-- WOULDS'T BE THIN? Attention! Look sharp! Heed three things. Buy an alarm clock. Buy a set of scales, Buy a gymnasium euit. These are the three necessaries. Arise betimes, having set your clocic early. Weigh yourself night and morning regularly. Exercise in the suit. One clever Woman does her household duties in• one. 11 one cannot exerc6e satiefactor. 11y for fun in ordinary clothes, how on earth can real work be done in conventional attire? For breakfast the fair one who would be thin eats little more than plenty of fruit. And at luncheon and dinner she avoids sweets and starchy foods. iilinard's Liniment CO., Limited. Dear Sirs,-T•bad a bleeding tumor on my face for a long time and tried a number of remedies without any go al resulte. I was advised to try MINABITS LINMENT, and after using several bot- tles it made' a complete cure, and it healed all up and disappeared altogeth- er. DAVID HENDERSON'. Belleisle Station, Kluge Co., N. B., Sept. 17, 1904. AI RSH I ki FOR WAR. Latest official figures front abroad show that Germany now leads in dings. lees, for with it private and Govern- ment owned vessels it could enlist the services of 20 airships in war time. At the cominencentent of tlus you France possesed 14 dirigibles, with 13 building; England seven and one build- ing; RuSSiO. three and one building. Rus- sia now rivals France for the second place ail possessor of the largest number of dirigiblee. Tnrkey, which possessed neither aeroplane nor dirigible at the begiuning of the year, is buying dirigi- bles front Count Zeppelin. ell, Well! THIS is A NOM DYE ANYONE tan tise # , dyed ALL them • )"•tHFFERENT KINDS of Gotods i fit the SAME bliC I used CLEAN and SIM/4A to Use. NO chant* of *Ong eit•WitONGT>yr ter tar useh hits to entor. A11 rotors Lem sway nnstrairt r. nag Co!or sod STOAT 95*11015 saisemeesnosesso4 to., Llowthed, Montreal, • HEAD ..pr• ACHE Step It in 30, minutes, without any harm to any part of your system, by taking `1NA.DRU.CO" Headache Waters 2%1Pgit'u NATIONAL, ENVQ-ANO CH10110A1, CO. OF CANADA Luerrgle, MONTREAL,, 27 ROT. EDDY'S KITCHEN WARE Ideal n tvery Way ror the Various Needs of the Busy housewives These utensils are light and durable, have no hoops to fall off or rust, will not taint water, inilk or other liquids and are imper- vious to the same. They will stand any .elim- ate and any fair usage. Mada in Pails, Tubs, Enders, Milk Pans, Wash Bashisi, Eto• simiggsgmumilia The E, "Try Them, They'll Please You."' , CO. HullBEDDY Canada .!inuutfaitotidabolit N0HOOPS•SfAhlteSe.'' IMPteeccirsoliewie. kespeuitieSekereess.c Sentence Sermons. It is good to be wise, but it is wise to be ygeouo.1. li.8 manna site ill on the stom ach of sloth. Heaven is deaf to us when we a cbulhoiideest.o *tilers. Character is the sum of all life' Star preaching is apt to mean nig-hi in the church. A. waren° life ahreye has storms in it past curriculum. Tt is well to wat hake virtues tha employ press agents. The man with a putty backbone us ually borrowe a pious front. It may be the ill we are dodging i the cure for the greater ill we desire. 'Wen are uever greatly- moved by tho truths they full comprehend. • Many !Wee would be a good deal swee ter 0 they were not quite so sugary. Polk who are over anxious to live o velvet commonly wind up on the carpet More are lame Yuen kicking tha from cairns acquired in 'walking the nal rowway Youcan tell a znau's courage, not b the measure of his fear, but by th fightTbe h be e sptu tws way el.to honor the dead pro phets is to tnake straight paths for ch living people. The apparent power of death to sep arate is the strongest bond that bind the living together. When you fiud a man generous wit black paiut for others you may be sun he has whitewash for himself. Too many titiuk they have fed th hungry when they have told them hail to make au omelette !teary P. Cope. A TRIFLE WITHERED In his native tongue no one could nate made mare graceful speeehea tban Mon elem. Blanc, yet when he essayed compli meats in English he was not quits s suceessful. "Have I changed in the five Year since we met 111 Paris?" asked an skier ly woman who desired above all thing 10 be thought younger. much younger than she was. "Madame," seal the eourtier, hie ham en his heart ,"you look like a rose .n tweuty years!" -You DIN Crianpamon. "AS NEAR PERFECTION AS POSSIBLE" 57'. LAWRENCE CRY4TAL DIAMONDS Tee finest lump Puget. ever pro - These spearkling Tablets of the purest Sugar, are dainty and tempting in appearance and are sold in attractive cartons and by the pound. Stigar Is 9999-100 per cent. pure. LST, LAWRENCE SUGAR LEFIN- ING CO., LIMITED, MONTREAL. THE WAIL OF HENRY PECK. &By William Carroll.) Behold in me a character, Who is very widely known; Of circumstances a victim, I have ample cause to moan; The sting of persecution's lash Has made my life a wreck. oh. Christians, ye with tender hearts, come, pray for Henry Peck, When my wife's tetnper Is aroused, then receive my "whacks." The club she wields quite successfully, And most deftly swings the axe; When riled some day, I fear she'll make A target of my neck. Have mercy, Lord: should such a fate Befall poor Henry Peek. ely marriage life a failure is, I am in an awful stew, Since Mary Ann finds fault galore, With what 1 say and do; Behests she makes I must obey, To hold her wrath in check. Apostles of humanity Shed tears for Henry Peck. --- • .4. Minard's Liniment for sale every- where. • ,,e• UNDER THE MICROSCOPE. (Toronto Star.) Not many would care to have all their savings and doings investigated in the mieroseopie and inquisitorial way that Was used in the Noe of the young woman in this ease. No two enquiries of the kind would bring out the same revelations, the same vanities, frivoli- ties and insineerities'but each enquiry would reveal much thitt would stand Quit etratigety if thrown against a scarlet . background of tragedy, Vain and irre- sponsible sayings and flighty doings, that meant nothing at the tone, would vise out of idle yesterdaYS. There is a 'large number of .foolish persons in the world -they mewl no ill, hut many of their sayings, doings, and goiligs are univise, yet as it rule get them into 00 serious trouble, for no reckoning eomes. Should It come, many woula bo amazed at the showing they would make In the sinister light of a criminal court. It is a good place to keep out of it. OPEN Ant MM. Get out of the house whenever you eau. If you have only it. little leisure time at your eommaud spend it out of doors. 11 you are compelled to Stay in open doers mid windows anal Make your Indoor surroundings as nearly outside surroundings as is possible. Also, as the house has boon pretty well elosed all winter, now is the time to open it up and let the ann and air have aecess to every room in it. There is nothing like fresh air end sunsaine and outdoor exercise for pro. Moting bodily vigor dna Mental eon- tentment. Tice fellew who tam gets to the top Is apt to Mame it on Va. elevator. , - 9 t a • I,1 i olars , l . 3 ..-L-- l) 7 • ) •1 t . I ! ISSUE NO. 49,i911 AGENTS WANTED. A LINE FOR EVERY HOME-- Write us for our choice list of agents' supplies. We have the greaten agency proposition in Canada to -day. No outlay necessary. Apply B. C. I. co„ 228 Albert street, Ottawa. XV.EiNTED, REPRESENTATIVES OF • s either sex, lowally, on big Holiday Inducements; sell at sight; $2 per day and commission; experience unnecessary. J. r„ Nichols Co., Limited, Toronto, . 1. MARVEL' IhaWaysWginhvao:lnrhSdolyieunrrlirm'gntgISpray \ \v: ,. ,nit„t instantly. Ask ycui ' /* druggist If he cannot supply Is , A. il'a",” MARVEL accept no other bar send stamp Mr illustrated -sealed. It itiscm full putic• ''.i. and directions Mrahmole to ladies Illl . .. . , WINDSOR SUPPLY CO.. , /St - Windsor, oat. (leiter:I Agents for , t , ,,:". ' te'..Li e - - 11.1 1 . ..., iot , . . . : • . .43LISH,-- .. .... • g.---- Km E.:&: Ft) gI.o. - ,,,essinlin/ -..- - ......_.... _,... - .... . STAMMERERS can be cured, not merely of the habit, but of its cause. The Arnott institute has per - nutriently restored natural speech to thou- sands -is do:no It to -day. Write for full information and references to 11 THE ARNOrt INSTITUTE. - BERK 0111„ Can ___...„ THE YOUNG FOLK. (Toronto Star.) We censor the cheap plays; we issue warnings against the moving picture shows; we al'0 always lecturing and re - straining the young people; but weado far too little in the way of providing them with instruction and rational en- joyment, and with the means of helping them to better their position in life, 0 r • Minard's Liniment Cures Burns, Etc. ine tish i to ready tion. trees Post with sore number Eertunately Corn plications recommend at used." of More. ous ndded Indite; . 19 of Ile Samuel view well. which gets Minard's structing the Will in the manently ................., THE OUTTA-PERCHA TREE. On account of the extreme usefulness of gutta-percha in constructing submar- ambles, every effort is being made to save the tree that yields the valuable gum from destruetion. No satisfactory substitute for gutta-perelta found in the foreete of the Melay Penisula anal in Malacca has been discovered, but tbe natives, in order to get quick returns, are destroying the trees so rapidly that a gutta-percha famine is feared. To pre- vent this, the larenela Dutch and Bri- governmentare striving not only prevent the waste of the trees al- existiug, but to increase their number by transplantation and cultiva- Experiments with transplanted are being made in Reunion and Madagascar. ,.....--_ PUTNAM'S CORN EXTRACTOR CURED LETTER CkRRIER'S CORNS. Mr. J. McGuire, of the Kingston, Ont., Ofice, says: "I was almost crippled corns. They made 1110 so lame and I could scarcely walk. l used a of remedies but got no relief. I tried "Putnattee• Painless and Wart Extractor." ' A few ap- perfeetly cured ine• corns. 1 "Putnant's Corn Extractor" the best C0111 cure I ever heard of or Twenty-five eents buys, a bottle Putnanas Extractor at Any good drug a, ---,,,,,........---- DAN AS A HIGHER CRITIC. (Toronto Workl.) Mr. Dan D. Maun, who, to the ardu- duties of a railway magnate, has that of thrower -off of articles in Enropean and American reviews, now completing at criticel examination the first eleven chapters of Genesis. is not at all in accord with the Hon. Blake. Probabely he has in is D. D. at the end of his name as The trniversity of Bobeaygeon, of Ile is visitor, should see that lie it. - Liniment Cures Dandruff. -seeeee--. Omissions of History. Romulus, having built Roine, was con- a wall around it. "What's the use of putting a wall on north side!'" jeers Remus. "Evanston never try to break iu." Then ensued the first boxing couteet the new city, with the result, as all World knows,' that Remus was per. knocked out. . esee.-AceSN'tiee've,, . • .. , *--- D ODD S , ,fr; ..K i D NEy . . , . • .- Yi v.. \'/ Pi L-1. 5 , ,1"s 't,,,v1\\. ‘-..c.---.-ov/ b4',4,it:-.---....\-i .....KIDNI E .--- 0' yl... ,,,k, ----.....,......- -01 5 r C a orti --devt4A.riep, ,41..0, 11;.e ttel'ES . ... 4'4 ' 1 q`.a . • 'i' 160 )1 * • 24.a THP"'