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Home My WebLink AboutThe Wingham Advance-Times, 1983-06-15, Page 25L Page 8—Crossroads—June 15, 1383 ,44 As I write, the race for the Tory leadership is at the tape, after a cross-country course that would have taxed the endurance of a kangaroo. Its participants have lurched and shambled and jogged across that rugged terrain, through those bogs and quagmires that make up the minds of Tory delegates_ For some, it has been up- hill most of the way, owing to a lack of charisma, money, ideas, or all three. Others have taken some dubious shortcuts, hitched a ride when nobody was looking, or floated along on a carpet of hot air_ They'll be a bedraggled lot when they get near the grandstand and try to flog themselves into a final sprint toward that finish line. The winner, and he has my sympathy, will be handed the magnificent trophy that goes with the job — a Pan- dora's box_ If he opens it, and he will, politicians being what they are, it will be the Pandora myth all over again. Out will fly all those evil spirits: bro- ken promises, financial dis- aster, and the cold fury of the losers, who will have him for breakfast as soon as they get their wind back. But one spirit won't pop out — Hope. That peculiar Hope that seems to belong to the Tories will be too tired to leapout_of the box. So our "lucky" winner will pick it up, hold it tenderly lin both hands), and prepare to do battle against the invid- ious, insidious hordes of the black -hearted King Pierre, who retire into the swamps and wait patiently, chuck- ling, licking their lips, each time a new dragon -slayer is chosen for them to devour. On the other hand, maybe, just maybe, the new St. George will be ambidex- trous, and with a sword in each hand will be able to fight off his friends as they help him from the rear, and attack and slay the monster in front of him, who has got a bit swollen with pride, and a HONDA POWER PRODUCTS • Generators • Lawn Mowers • Water Pumps • Tillers - Gas Engines All powered by quiet, dependable Honda 4 cycle engines. Available at: Cy -Jo Cycle 1190 Wallace Ave. N., Listowel 291-1556 Bill smiley Race for leadership bit slow from lack of exer- cise over the years. Which of these fin, ful- minating fellows will .be our new champion? If our fairy tale were to follow its course, it would have to be David Crombie. He has the right name, and is the right size, to stand up to Goliath. He might even knock him off, because the giant is getting old and fat and overconfi- dent. But, even though he wields a mean sling -shot, does little David have the killer in- stinct, the ruthlessness re- quired to get the job? Is he too, decent, too human, too caring? Could be. Let's go on with our fairy story and look at the other hopefuls. Joe might startle the bog fellow by shaking his jowls and stabbing his finger at him. He did once before. But the giant quickly real- ized that behind that mas- tiff's mien lay all the terror of a spaniel, uttered one roar, and sent him scuttling. What about Brian? He might try to cow the big guy by jutting a massive chin at him, pointing toward mas- sive reinforcements in Que- bec, and hurling some insults in French. But a couple of massive shrugs and some fat subsidies toward Francos would squelch that threat. There's Jolly Jack the giant -killer from the Island. He might huff and puff and stick out his not inconsider- able belly at the giant. But unless he made the creature in capable of action by some witty remarks that sent it into paroxysms of laughter, it would have him for lunch. Last time he tried it, with a perfectly honest 18 -cent tax on gas, the critter laughed all the way to the next elec- tion, then charged twice as much. That creature can out - tax anybody, any day. • How about the others? "Puck" Pocklington has the right nickname for a fairy story, but what chance has he, an entrepreneur, against a monster that goes to bed with sick corporations, gob- bles up others, and washes them down with oil com- panies? It's just possible that Michael Wilson, far too hon- est and logical to win any- thing, might put the dragon to sleep long enough for some of its own mini -dragons to devour it. But that's a long shot. ,That leaves John Gamble. All he's got is a looping right swing that is telegraphed all the way. The giant, dragon, creature, will merely counter with a few sharp, left jabs, and John is no longer even a bet, let alone a gam- ble. Well, I hope I've sorted things out for you, with this melange of myth, analogy and fairy tale. I really don't care who wins, since the Tories have no way to go but up. Is Joe a loser Is Mulroney too smooth 1 • nd untested? Is Crombie t • ,, tiny? Is Crosby too far a ay? Is Wilson too dull, Pocklington too busi- ness -oriented, Gamble too neanderthal? I'd be more comfortable with Crombie than any of them, with Crosby as second choice. But nobody ever lis- tens to me. I told them Mac- kenzie King was a charlata, Diefenbaker a dope, and Trudeau a cynic, but they wouldn't listen. Too bad Flora McDonald didn't run, I'll bet she'd poll a huge vote. But being raped once is enough, I guess. See you at the polls. Fruit! Today let's just talk about what fruit really is. Botanically speaking, fruit is the heart of the growing plant. If it is sweet, it is generally called a fruit. If it is not sweet, we call it a vegetable. Fruit is a thirst quencher, it contains a Tot of moisture, is easily and readily digesti- ble, has lots of essential vi- tamins and minerals. Most of all, it's popular all over the world for whatever rea- son you eat it. Fruit uses? There are dried fruit, fruit ices, fruit juices, jelled fruit, pickled fruit, fruit salads, sugar- coated fruits and candied fruts, and probably a lot more that I have forgotten. You can do more things with fruit than you can with vege- tables. Here's a bit of trivia. If you like fruit and eat it often, you are what is called a fruitarian, and there are lots of them around. Still scrappy at 92 A day or two after his in- auguration in 1933, Presi- dent Franklin D. Roosevelt, learning that Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes was celebrating his 92nd birthday, paid his re- spects and said, "We face grave times. What would you do?" 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