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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Advance-Times, 1983-05-11, Page 30Page 16—Crossroads—May 11, 1983 iimmilmmiummaw Bill Smiley Failing senses? Most people begin to lose thein• senses, if not their sense, as the passing years exact their toll. Sight, smell, hearing, taste and touch grow less acute, steadily but 'inexorably, in most of us. This didn't bother me much. Deafness runs in the family. My nose has been broken so often that I can't smell much, and this affects my taste buds. I thought touch and sight would last. forever, or at least to the grave. Touch is still pretty good. If I touch a hot burner on the stove, or the cold nose of a dog, I can tell the difference. But since they started us- ing that tiny print in books and newspapers, I've had to rely on specs to read, and even on the highway, they seen to have pygmies paint- ing the signs these days. What disturbed me was that my wife seemed to be failing rapidly. She has al- ways been noted for' having eyes like a hawk, ears like a deer, and a nose like a blood hound. The nose is still there. She can sniff an illicit beer at forty yards. She knows exactly when I haven't had a bath for a week or washed my hair fora month. But recently her sight and hearing seemed to be grow- ing dimmer and foggier. It was strange. It seemed to be much worse in the TV room. She could still hear the top coming off a beer bottle in the kitchen when she was up- stairs with two closed doors between: She could still see a'. -----speck of-dUS on a surface I' swear was pristine. However, when we were watching TV, the deteriora- tion began to show. At first, I was always hollering at her to turn up the sound, or try to sharpen the picture. She'd retort that I was getting deaf and blind. Then she herself got fed up with the shadowy picture and the inaudible sound track, and I noted with some satisfaction the failing of her faculties. This went on for weeks, the symptoms steadily getting worse, until we had someone in Ito watch a special pro- gram with us. "Good Lord!" quoth our guest. "What is this — days of the silver, silent'screen? How long have you had this set, anyway?" After the usual bickering that married couples go through to establish any- thing — even the time of day — we agreed, not without a certain amount of awe — it seemed like only last year we'd bought it? — that; the machine was fourteen years old. Our friend snorted in dis- belief. '`That thing was worn out six years ago. No wonder the picture looks like a 1920s movie, and the sound track is as sharp as a stomach rumble." We just looked at each other askance. I think that's the word. At any rate, there wasn't much skance in us. We felt pretty much the way one would feel if the doctor told one that a favorite aunt had terminal cancer. I mean, we had lived with this old girl for fourteen years. We had almost come tier blows :over whether _Blies d wou-la' watch 'Dallas or I would watch a real, unreal Western. We had settled family problems of great moment,' during the commercials. Our grandboys had suckled at this fount of pap,' and thrived, turning into in- credible hulks, Batman and Robin, Darth Vader. To just throw her out into the dump would be like throwing your library out, burning your 'Encyclopedia, ripping up Plato ',end Hegel and Kant — that's a law firm that has given us a, lot of trouble. An end to all culture in the home. Well, we had to steel our- selves, but we did it. Just as one throws a beloved aunt to the wolves, we let the brutal TV men come and carry her off to an unknown grave, still alive, but barely; still whispering. Then came the great wrench. How to replace her. There was a confab that last- ed all day. We certainly weren't going to just go out and buy the first thing on the market. After all, we weren't born yesterday. None of this nonsense that we have always used to buy cars. When we buy a car, we go and look at them, kick the tires, check the color of the upholstery, and buy the thing. We have never yet visited more than one car lot. We are the salesman's dream. And we've never got a lemon. Some people spend more money on gas driving around and comparing prices than they do in their first year of driving. But we weren't going to be taken in this time. After all, a car is merely a car. A TV set is much more. As well as being a source of entertain- ment and information — how would I know anything about Mini -pads without it? — it is a refuge, a solace, a baby - Did You Know Paper, from papyrus By PHYLLIS WEAVER Did you know the pa- pyrus plant was the forerun- ner of the paper we use so freely in books and newspa- pers? Papyrus, a member of the sedge family, once grew abundantly in lower Egypt's marshes. Today, it flour- ishes only in the Sudan. The Egyptians had many purposes for papyrus, such as baskets and ropes. But mainly papyrus was used for making writing materi- al. The inner part of the papyrus stalk was sliced into thin strips, placed side by side and then the other strips laid across at right angles. Nile water moistened the strips which were pressed together and dried in the sun. According to Pliny, Roman naturalist and au- thor, Nile water in a muddy state had gluelike qualities. Some" authorities say that instead; a paste was made from the finest wheat flour mixed with boiling water. Pliny lived in Christ's time, but the Egyptians had made papyrus sheets for thousands of years before that. This week on your Country Cable Community Channel CHANNEL 9 Listowel, Gowanstown, Palmerston, Harriston MONDAY EVENINGS - KINSMEN CLUB BINGO 8:00 P.M. May 16 - Following Bingo PUBLIC FORUM On Childhood Development and Early Identification of Learning Disabilities Guest Speaker Dr. Mervyn Fox, London country cobl6ltd. For After H urs Cable Service Call 1-800-265-3227 6 sitter. A TV set is much. more important than parents or children. It is an escape from the real world, an anodyne for pain, physical or psychic, a sleep -inducer, a thing to make one feel superior to one's fellow man, a warm, intimate look into the lives of practically anyone from the cop on the corner to Sir Law- rence Olivier. FI You can't handpick your family. But you sure can be choosy over your TV set, thank goodness. So what did we do? We went out and bought the first one we saw, after judiciously flicking it on and off several times. You can't even kick the tires on a TV. But it has remote control. Now, we're really going to fight about who sees what. I'll just be settled into Hill Street Blues when my wife, deliberately and malicious- ly, will switch to one of those dreary, endless, stupid soaps she thrives on. Like murder myteries? Watch for The Remote Con- trol Button Murder. Oh, well. There's no such thing as an ill wind. At least we've got our sight and hear- ing back. ST S 84 See us for your Invitations! Let us assist you with your plans for that all important wedding day. COME IN AND SEE OUR COMPLETE SELECTION OF o INVITATIONS • ANNOUNCEMENTS • INFORMALS • ACCESSORIES Your choicer of earioc+s paper stems, type styles and sizes. task for . . . Select your wedding invitations, announcements and, accessories with complete confidence as to quality and correctness of form. LISTOWEL BANNER WINGHAM - MOUNT FOREST ADVANCE -TIMES CONFEDERATE 291-1660 , 357-2320 323-1550 4 s 0 INC IN CANADA F R TEMPI L J r. JF W {��cr{J 'yam`' �%''"� �,,.•:�;., The Ford . Tempo/Mercury Topaz - fully predictable, very respectable handling, but most of all fun to drive. SUDDENLY IT' 1 ' 114 ..."What Ford's got here is a pretty good compact car. The concept ... is solid, the surface are not without cosmetic appeal, the performance is cer- tainly in the ballpark of this class, and the car is definitely in step with the thinking behind the com- pany's unrelenting onset of fresh, frequently daring new product." — Motor Trend March 1983. On display in the showroom at Harvey Krotz Ford starting May 12. Representatives from the Ford Motor Com p an y of Canada will be on hand this Friday and Saturday. * Friday May 13 - Udo Kahl, Ford Regional Manager * Saturday May 14 - Jack Clissold, General Marketing Manager, Ford Motor Company of Canada LIVE ENTERTAINMENT SATURDAY 11 am - 3:30 pm THE MERCEY BROTHERS Wallace Ave. N. Listowel Car City 291-3520 F Where the lights burn bright till 10 each night. Saturdays till 5 p.m.