HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Advance-Times, 1983-03-02, Page 21Page 8—Crossroads--March 2, 983
wismilmmlunimiew Bill Smiley
ackto the ' as cs
With parents screaming
"Back to the Basics",
teachers trying to remember
what the basics are, and
Ministries of Education
never letting the left hand
know what the right hand is
trying to do, it's almost in-
evitable that the subject of
corporal punishment in the
schools is revived.
It's a perennial, and it's al-
ways good for a headline,
whether you are for or
against.
It's almost as popular as i
capital punishment for
criminals. And you have no
idea, gentle reader, how
many people, including stu-
dents, are in favor of that.
I'm quite sure that a referen-
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dum would show a majority
of Canadians would vote to
restore that particular form
of official murder.
But while criminals make.
up a comparatively small
segment of our society,
rotten kids are always there
in great numbers. And
there's always someone who
wants to pound them,
vicariously, through the.
school system.
Usually, the business of
beating kids is seen in black
or white. Or black and blue.
On the one hand, you have
the funamentalists, who go
back to the Old Testament,
"Spare the rod and spoil the
child." These people forget
that several of the disciples
were fishermen, and that
what this particular one
meant was, "If you don't let
the kid use your spare rod
once in a while, he'll grow up
to be a lousy angler."
I don't remember Jesus
ever saying anything about
pounding kids, but I may be
wrong.
On the other side of the
stick are the other crazies:
psychologists and such, who
think a kid who is thumped
will be warped for life;
mothers who read articles by
psychologist; and former
child -beaters who are now
vice principals.
And in between, as usual,
are all the confused, decent
and sensible people like you
and me, who have given our
kids the odd belt, and felt
rotten about it.
Both the extreme camps,
of course, are full of crap. In
the first group, we have peo-
ple who were whipped un-
mercifully when they were
kids, and now, by some
weird type of logic, insist it
was good for them. They can
hardly wait to spread some
of this "good" around.
And in the second group
are all the other people who
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were whipped unmercifully
when they were kids and are
trying to prove that that is
what has made them queer
ever since.
A plague on both their
houses. Most of us olders
were whipped now and
again, but not unmercifully;
and we deserved every
stroke of the hairbrush,
skelp of the yardstick and
swish of the willow -stick.
It didn't warp us physi-
cally or psychologically. It
taught us something about
the society we would be liv-
ing in as adults — that there
are certain limits, and if you
transgress them, you take
your licks.
My mother 'used to work
over my kid brother and me
about every two weeks,
whether we needed it or not.
She used a fly swatter, which
has a sting like a scorpion, or
a yard stick, which transfers
fire to the bum, when we got
under the bed andAhe fly,
swatter wouldn't reach. It
did us no harm whatever,
and probably saved her
sanity.
My dad, like most men
leaving the dirty work to the
mother, rarely laid a hand on
us. But when he did ... boy,
some hand. He could spank
your whole ass, not just one
buttock at a time, with that
hand.
The same kid brother and I
were in the same class in
school one year, and once a
week, our teacher, Old Mary
Walker, would give us a good
strapping, along with a few
other delinquents. We
thought the world of her, and
she of us. The strappings
stung, but once hi a while,
Old Mary would give herself
a good crack on the thigh.
This doubled the number on
each hand, but rasied our
status in the class.
I've smacked my own kids,
occasionally, and the grand -
boys, but their smoldering
anger, and mine, never
lasted more than fifteeen
minutes, because the smack-
ing was not done in malice,
and they knew they were
asking for it.
Beating kids in school?
Many parents would like it
done. Many others would
have a lawyer on you. There
are only two reasons for a
teacher to use a strap: 1. he
or she is a poor teacher; 2. it
adds a little drama to the
humdrum of the classroom.
In fifty years, I've never
seen strapping scare any-
body or deter anybody.
A word to the bleeding
hearts. There are many
more insidious ways to warp
a child's personality than
physical punishment. The
real sadists of the classroom,
and they are very few nowa-
days, are those who use per-
sonal harassment, hectoring
and sarcasm. These can do
far more damage than a
good thump. Ask any kid.
In the whole debate,
naturally, my sympathies
are with the teacher. There
are times when I would have
been happy, not just to whip,
but to strangle some kid, and
go to jail for life meaning
five years, with good
behavior. Looking back, I al-
most wish 1 had. It's peace-
ful in prison.
But I have no time for the
bully in the classroom.
Teachers who know their
stuff and have some strength
of character have few disci-
pline problems.
However, let's think for a
moment about the sensitive,
young woman teacher who
asks a lout to do something,
and he says, "Screw you."?
So the punk gets a "suspen-
sion" for a few days (trans-
lation: holiday). And the
teacher sits, shattered,
among her crumbled ideals.
What to do? I'd turf him
out of school for a year, and
let his parents put up with
him. Serve both parties
right.
Any opinions? Let's have
them.
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friends create
inferior feelings.
By DOROTHY
ST. JOHN JACKSON
Certified Master
Graphoanalyst
Dear .II)orothy: I am a
man of 40 and have some
good friends who are all
successful and profession-
al. They tell me of their
projects, their advance-
ments, etc. All I have is an
office job that is routine
and boring. There is oppor-
tunity for advancement,
but I don't seem to be get-
ting anywhere. I always
feel less"than my friends,
but they keep including
me. — Y.L.
Dear Y.L.: Is it possible,
through your association
with these success -minded
friends (whom you consid-
er to be your superior) that
you have developed a neat
little inferiority complex,
seen in the low t crossing?
Is it possible that you
have allowed them to use
you and take you for grant-
ed, seen in the rigid begin-
ning upstrokes?
You strongly resist being
taken advantage of and yet
you yield so easily to their
influence, seen in the
rounded top or slurred s.
You are an intelligent
person, seen in the wedge-
shaped n, and you're a good
worker, seen in the long,
strong downstroke on j, in-
creased by the closely dot-
ted i's. You just need to
open a little.
You are closed in. seen
in your small and tightly
knit writing. You need to
have a dream. You need
something to excite you,
someikting to stir you into
action.
So if you should feel that
your friends are intimidat-
ing you and are standing in
your way of achievement
(because you feel inferior),
you must get the situation
in hand now.
You don't have to give
them up (your friends). You
just have to make more.
Make some friends who,
you inwardly feel, will
make you feel superior.
Balance them out a little.
You never succeed if you
lose your self-confidence
and become afraid of
trying.
No matter where you go
in life or how you do it, one
fact is for certain. There
will always be those who
have accomplished more
than you. And there will al-
ways be those who have ac-
complished less. You have
to be ready for this, by
knowing your top potential
and recognizing your limi-
tations.
Let's
Talk
By REV. LEE TRUMAN
The power
of enthusiasm
As an after-dinner
speaker, I was introduced
by Mike Williams. Mike
had read a research paper
I had written on tension
and he shared his observa-
tions about the paper with
the crowd.
Mike said he had only
read the first two pages of
my paper before falling
sound asleep. This brought
real laughter from the au-
dience, but it was obvious
that Mike was still ner-
vous. He had that shaky
quality to his voice of a
man under pressure and I
saw that the palms of his
hands were wet.
After my presentation he
asked if we could talk and
we spent most of that night
discussing his problems,
one of which was tension.
There are two kinds of
tension:
The first is the kind of
tension that puts drive into
a person and spring into his
step, causing him to excel
beyond what he had even
hoped he would be able to
achieve.
The second kind of ten-
sion is that which gives a
person the shakes and
causes him to fall apart
rather than unifying his en-
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gYQ
s.,a4ly-euo /awJn) 81 sign
-Aailaqun uo po&ptld Jalla4
gots foaAl uoipul puolaAap
ergy for a great achieve-
ment.
The real key to overcom-
ing most of our anxiety and
a great deal of inward de-
structive tension is the
power of excited enthusi-
asm. What this does is get
us out of the state of thin-
skinned sensitivity which is
fuel for the bad type of ten-
sion. A rule of thumb is
that the less one is aware
of oneself, the less likely
the destructive type of ten-
sion will be a problem.
You can put it on a
graph just like a person's
temperature. When enthu-
siasm goes down, tension
will increase. The answer
often is to get away from
the tension -producing situ-
ation even for a brief peri-
od. Break the negative
power of the situation and
you will be able to deal
with it more objectively
and recover your perspec-
tive.
Tension is so much a
part of our modern life
that sometimes we have to
run away from the world
in order to get strength to
live effectively in that
world. There are retreat
houses sponsored by vari-
ous churches where a per-
son can go and a strict rule
of silence is imposed. You
do not utter a word as long
as you are inside the
bounds of the retreat. Only
if you have experienced
this can you know how this
can refresh and rejuvenate
the inner person.
An Episcopal priest,
John Thomas, Wrote: "Si-
lence is the element in
which great things fashion
themselves." •
1 thought of Isaiah 3:15:
"In quietness and confi-
dence shall be your
strength."
Silence does lead to con-
fidence and confidence is
the basis of strength and
strength makes a person
more competent and cer-
tainly happier, which is the
matrix of an enthusiastic
person.
Our lives would be much
fuller if we lived them
more enthusiastically,
received the beauty and
bounty of life gratefully,
and let it all rest in the
hands of the one who made
each of us the unique per-
sons we are.
6
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