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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Advance-Times, 1983-02-16, Page 16Page 4-- Crossroads—Feb. 16, 1983 Bill Smiley The d pression similismiamow• Depressing, isn't it?' And I'm not talking about the weather. 'Although I could. Carlie home from work yes- terday, mid-January, in pouring rain. Didn't even bother to plug in the block heater. Got up this morning and it was below zero. Guess what didn't happen. And how about that ramp- ant 'flu that is striking down huge, burly men as well as little old ladies. I fall some- where between the two, and it has certainly stricken me down — about four times. 'Price in the last two weeks we have scheduled a party for friends. Everything set: tire laid; glasses polished; booze bought; rug vacuumed almost to death. And twice Ole Mistah Floo has knocked everything into a cocked hat, whatever that is. Do you have any concep- tion of the effort required, when all you want to do is die and be incinerated, to have to call up about fifteen people, two weekends in a row, and tell them the party is off? And 80 per cent of them are out on the.first, and second, and third call? But what the heck? That's what this country is all about in winter, and it is only then that I curse me ancestors, not loud but deep, for setting forth from the peat and pota- toes and deciding they'd go to Canada. Why not Australia or South Africa, or Tahiti? The only smart person in my entire family collection (connection? 'That's The Floo) is a nephew who went to Costa Rica, started a small business, made a happy marriage, and has three little girls. We had a happy Christmas card froin him. Everybody else in the fam- ily is sick or stupid or broke or old or having marital problems. And that includes yours truly. Why didn't I go to the Yucatan Peninsula in Mexico, as Roman Woychuk MAKE IT YOURS Quilte.d... window shade Old mattress pads are ripe for recycling as a quilted window shade. Or- dinary dyes brighten them up; appliques neatly cover any stains, holes or frayed spots. Since mattress pads are already quilted, hardly any sewing is needed. .Since they're padded, the shades are energy-saving too. It's especially easy to make a` window shade, be- cause it's hung from a Vel- cro strip rather than rolled around a rod. To let the light in, the shade simply foids up. Here are directions for the quilted window shade: MATERIALS: For a 43x75 -inch window: Two double -bed size mattress pads, two bottles of dye. Suggestion: Rit evening blue u dye; dyeing supplies Y Y g PP as indicated on bottle; scraps of felt, other fabric or trims; fold -over braid; mylar insulating fabric; Velcro strip and tabs; pen- cil. ruler and scissors; sew- ing supplies; optional fusi- ble webbing and iron. Note:. Be sure cover fab- ric on mattress pad is at ieast 50 percent cotton DYEING: 1. Dye mat- tress pads according to di- rections on the dye bottle. 2. Let pads dry completely. Do not put them into the dryer PREPARATION: 1. Using a pencil and ruler, niar•k dimensions of win- dow on each mattress pad. 2. Stitch along pencil lines to keep fabrics and quilt t_ c *I:J.' -, 14 • . t.r)(-! stitching from raveling or fraying. Trim close to stitching. APPLIQUES: 1. Cut ap- pliques from felt or other fabrics. 2. Turn under raw edges, if any, and baste in place. 3. Stitch appliques to right side of window. shade. 4. If preferred, attach ap- pliques to shade with fusi- ble webbing according to package directions ASSEMBLY: 1. Cut mylar fabric to same di- mensions as shade pieces. 2. With right sides of shade outside, sandwich mylar between front and back of window shade. 3. Stitch pieces together. 4. Enclose edges with fold -over braid. FINISHING• 1. Stitch Velcro strip to wrong side of shade's top edge. 2. Glue corresponding half of Vel- cro strip to top of window. 3. Stitch three Velcro tabs to wrong side of shade's 'tom edge. 4. Stitch cor- responding tabs to wrong side of shade, somewhere in the shades's upper half (a). Fold up shade to let in light. 5. Add extra rows of Velcro, • if desired, to let shade fold up to different levels MIlliMmenk '10 owl A ( 1.0.1b0.1 51tin, Let us sort out your office supply problems 323-1550 and I planned to do as soon as — and if - we got out of prison camp alive' And I wonder what has happened to. Chuk. He was a. brilliant cartoonist, but had an eccen- tric streak Last time I saw him. we were out at a night club with our ladies Toward the end of the evening, he picked up his glass, pretend- ed it was a grenade, pulled the non-existent pin out with his teeth. and hurled it through a mirror that must have cost twenty grand He probably couldn't even —pick up his glasses now, let alone a glass But I hope he has some of the old esprit left ' He was a Canadian t.'kranian and coached us in a few words of Russian. be- cause we knew the Russians Were Coming. All I remem- ber is, "Nistrali", meaning, "Don't shoot" But what am I doing in the Yucatan Peninsula with a crazy Ukraman? A colum- nist is supposed to have a theme, state it, defend it, and leave the reader in a state of serenity, a problem solved, a difficult dilemma made clear as crystal And all I've done so far is muddy the waters, obfuscate the obvious, and leave' the reader with raised eyebrows that indicate- Smiley should be put out to pasture. What 4 really wanted to talk about was The Depres- sion. And don't talk to me about a recession, a slow- down, a shake -down or any other of the cant phrases used by economists who -are able to tell us, in double-talk, and at fifty thousand a year, that things are tough all over. We're in a Depression, and note the capital D. How do I know? Well, gentle reader, I've been there before. I know the territory. A few years ago, in my youth, I stated that we could never have another Great Depression, like that of the '30s. After all, we had unem- ployment insurance, a rea- sonable Old Age Pension, medicare: all sorts of buf- fers against poverty, hunger, humiliation, raggedy -asses, and the like. I was wrong, and though I hate to admit it, as everyone does who is wrong; I was Oh, we're not quite back to the thirties, but we're on the way. In the town where I live, roughly thirty per cent of the people are without em- ployment.. the town where 1 lived during the Great Depression, the figure grew to about forty per cent That's why my Dad lost his business He was a softy, and gave credit. People couldn't pay their bills. He went broke What's going to happen in this country when the unem- ployment insurance what- ever runs out of money? When there isn't enough left in government coffers to pay the doctors? When there isn • t enough honey to pay the interestbn the massive defi cit We've acquired by bor rowing on the future'' When there 'isn't enough money left to pay old, age pensions, ,and child-care subsidies, and welfare,' and look after all the prisoners and retarded people and insane? Well, it'll be interesting, at any rate. There's going to be a lot of bitterness in the land. Personally, I'm going to buy myself a double-barrel- led shotgun. And when I go down to collect my old -age pension, and the twerp who still has a job tells me there's no money left, I'm going to throw down on him, and make him extract it from his own hip pocket. And then I'rn going to go out and shoot up some metric signs. just for the helluvit. • ▪ Mat `VIVA' PAPER TOWELS 2 ROLL PACK Strong and absorbent 2 ply paper towels CASHMERE BATHROOM TISSUE 4 ROLL PACK A bargain) Single ply bathroom tissue Wrth toothbrush' Regular mint or gel .SAVE $202 2 PIECE ROCKER SET Quality foam filled cushion sets in as- sorted upholstery fabrics. Reversible. pack LIMIT THREE PER CUSTOMER MINIMUM OIJANTIT V PER STORE - 360 LIMIT THREE PER CUSTOMER MINIMUM QUANTITY PER STORE - 360 LIMIT TWO PER CUSTOMER MINIMUM OUANTIT V PER STORE — 126 ;rr rx • r.• i:�6s. ri til.1X..4iS :•••:.............. 3•� ▪ • Sale ends Saturday, February 19, 19183. We reserve the right to limit quantities. ;,•ri.�......:..:., tin:"o-:z>• PLANTERS COCKTA 350gTIN A delicious teat in a resealable tin. NUTS LYNCH:O CHOCOL 500 g . each Just add watert • . �'sr•'ray .: RE®HEART 'LOW BOY' Tyles indlutfe fitted sheet ptu: lowcaaes.. (Twat t?a '':' • case): 12° d0110f f1B'tro polyester. 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