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Wingham Advance-Times, 1977-08-03, Page 2^g. 1i; ra: ee-Timese August $, 1977 eallagh One out of every ten ,people suf- fers emotional breakdown at one time or another in his lifetime. It LS very often caused by the every- day stresses of life which may begin as little things but drive a person to the breaking point. You probably meet several people as you go about your daily duties — people who smile at you and say a cheery "Hi" or "How are your. Ninety-five per cent of these people may not be what they semi. They are hiding be- hind a facade, a mask. Their smiles and cheerful ways hide a variety of feelings, hurts, doubts, troubles, complex and simple, that can destroy. Specific experiences in life cause them stress — it may be their jobs, the expectations of spouses, family conflict, un- realistic goals, the demands and pressures of society, shifting moral values or the rapidity of change. These stresses can build up until a person is no longer able to make it through the ordinary re- quirements of everyday living. And when the experience of everyday living gets to be too much for the human personality to cope with, it. breaks down. The emotional stress and strain is greater than the person's ability to adjust to it. SHOWS NO •FAVORITES On the average, One out of ten persons breaks down. It happens to anyone — the rich, the poor; the beautiful and the plain; geni- uses and low IQs; people of every occupation, social standing, age and. nationality. People break down emotionally because they r%, akin are not prepared to withstand the stressful situations of life or re- main strong against the pres- sures constantly fighting them. Sometimes these pressures come from inside a person, some- times from outside and some- times from both. From within come pressures to achieve, to strive for perfection, to suppress our feelings, self-doubt, the need to please, to be accepted. From without come the demands and expectations of others, the re- , sponsibilities placed on us by job, family, friends, the pressures of society that expect us to be some- thing we don't really want to be — until we become tied in knots and retreat into a world of pretense and lead double lives. And there is a compromise which takes place in each of us — a compro- mise between what we are and what our society expects us to be. MOLEHILLS . BECOME MOUNTAINS. A noted psychologist, Dr. John Sullivan of Utah, through much research and study, claims that stress affects everyone in one way or another, at one time or another. Much of it begins with the small and trivial and mush- rooms out of proportion until it becomes unbearable and drives people to medication to calm their nerves and ease their troub- led minds. Society and inability to cope with its demands cause stress for many people. No matter how much we claim that "Keeping up with the Joneses" is not import- ant, it is. We borrow money so we can have a standard of living as good as or better than our neigh - THE WRONG SOLUTION -Many people who are suffering from a great amount of stress, no matter what the cause, often turn to drugs for relief. Drugs will only intensify the problem which becomes greater if an addiction is formed. A solution should be sought elsewhere. Buy your home, life, boat, ,,and auto insurance from a friend The Co -Operators your credit union sponsored insurance company Co-operation among Co -Ops. Located in the Credit Union Budding. 8 Alfred St", [corner of Josephine St.] Wingham, Ont. North Huron Credit The Co-operators Union 357-2311 357-3739 A bors or our relatives in the city. Then we worry that we may not be able to keep up the payments or might lose our health before we enjoy the luxury. We worry if we do not belong to that little so- cial clique of swingers in town and wonder what we're doing wrong that we aren't accepted. There is almost "constant pres- sure — we are late for appoint- ments, we drive too fast and get speeding tickets, we miss meals and nibble on junk food, we get ulcers, we eat pills, we wonder why we get headaches and we go from crisis to crisis. Little mole- hills become big mountains and we can't cope. We escape into a world of work — and that brings more tensions. We talk ourselves into believing we're indispensable and find, when we are ill for a day, that things run smoothly without us. Then we feel we may lose our job. Or we feel we can do nothing right and perform to only a frac- tion of our,.capabilities, losing, along the way, our self-respect and price in a job well done. We begin to look on our jobs as noth- ing but meal tickets. Relation- ships with employers and fellow employees become strained and the pressures cause poor work and tense working conditions. PROBLEMS AT HOME Family and home conditions very often add to the problem. Women's Lib brought a more dominant role to the woman, to the point where Father has an identity problem and Junior isn't sure whose role is that of discip- linarian, if, in fact, it belongs to anyone. The aggressive female becomes a threat to the establish- ed status of the male. Junior be- comes unmanageable and home relationships are strained, with only a tiny spark needed to start a -raging inferno. The generation gap grows wider. Dinner tables are no longer havens of relaxa- tion where family members dis- cuss the days happenings. Moth- er has night class; Daughter has band practice; Father has a meeting; Son goes bowling. So it's eat and run and children grow in stature, but not necessarily in wisdom.T'hey are surrounded not with harmony but with discord and disunity. And to escape these, many enter into unhappy marriages with the fust person who appears genuinely interested in what they do and what they want out of life: Then there is inflation. Try to stick to a budget, and y will probably find yourself in frustration. Food bills mount up, credit cards occupy more wallet space than money, bank accounts are overdrawn and we are living not "from hand to mouth" but "before hand to mouth". Impulse spending cures our blues for the moment but only adds to our stress in the long run, for with the overdrawn bank account and long list of creditors, comes a' oirit feeling of insecurity and indebt- edness that causes worry, anxi- ety and panic. - WHAT TO DO The obvious question is "What can we do?". Perhaps the first answer lies within each of us for the problem can be solved only if we admit it exists and we need help to allevi- ate it. There should be no feeling of shame in admitting we have a problem that sometimes drives us up the wall, nor in admit ng we need help, with an emotinalr or family crisis. We, of course, can help our; selves, if we want to. Solutions within our reach are many. The most important thing is to keep busy. An active .mind and busy fingers have no time for worries or troubles. If you have time on your hands, get involved with others. Volunteer workers are needed in many places and if you are helping others, you are help- ing yourself even more.. Very often, a good talk with someone close might be all you need to get you back on the straight path again. Form a close friendship with someone you can trust, someone to whom you know you can tell anything in strictest confidence - and be that kind of friend in return. Share your trou- bles and find answers together. Perhaps the one thing that is causing you stress is not within your power to change. Learn to accept the things you cannot change and with that acceptance will come peace of mind. If you can't change it, why worry about it? Obviously, your physical health has a great deal of bearing on your emotional health. If you are healthy physically, everything looks better to you. And avoid getting overtiri. When you are tired, little things bother you and you become upset over nothing. If ' you are well -rested you are more able to take things in your stride. OUTSIDE HELP If you cannot find the help with- in yourself, there are many people who would like to help. In all areas, there are interested people who care about the stressful situations in your life. The obvious people are, of course, your doctor and clergy- man'. But there are others. Health Units can always refer you to the specific help you require and Children's Aid Societies are spe- cially. trained to assist families living under stress. In Huron County, the Chil- dren's Aid Society, Health Unit and other interested persons are organizing the Huron Centre for Children and Youth, a centre for - the youth of the county who suffer emotional or learning problems. The centre alreadyhasa charter!, and a board of directors and it is hoped that soon a staff will be ob- tained and the centre will be serving young 'people from its Amish communities leaving over milk board regulation Almost all the members of two Amish communities in South- western Ontario are selling their farms and dairy herds and /moving to the United States in response to Ontario Milk Market- ing Board regulations. They have chosen to move to Pennsylvania, Delaware and Michigan rather than comply with a regulation requiring a switch to bulk coolers from milk cans for shipping milk. The marketing board ruling would make it necessary for the Arnish to install' electricity or diesel motors to operate the bulk coolers. Their religious beliefs forbid mechanization or the use of modern devices, so that the Amish have not used tractors, automobiles or electricity. Seven Amish communities ap- pealed to the board and the Ontario Milk Commission for an exemption on religious grounds, but have been flatly turned down. The regulation takes effect Oct. 31. By last week, two thirds of the 35 family community located between Wroxeter and Gorrie had left, mainly for Michigan, a Ldhdon newspaper reported. The remaining members have their farms listed for sale and plan to follow. A smaller community located (near Tavistock has decided to leave for Pennsylvania. The Amish expressed regret at leaving but preferred not to "make any fuss" about the move. "1 don't want to make the govern- ment any trouble. I'd sooner leave it and go." John Peadhey, a member of the Tavistock com- munity, was quoted as saying. "This part of Ontario is the best land • in the world," he said. "I would like to pick up my whole farm, my land, and take it down there." Mr. Peachey noted the Amish are just a small group of people. "If they could only let us ship in cans." The milk marketing board and the' milk commission tried to persuade the Amish to switch to cream production where shipping in cans is still permitted, but this was rejected' because the cream subsidy would make up 40 per cent of their income. The Arnish oppose taking government money in any form, whether it be milk subsidies, family allow- ances or pensions. Belmore UCW conduct worship BELMORE — The United Church Women conducted their annual church service on Sunday, July 24, at the Belmore United Church. Mrs. Wilfred Johann led the isoncregiation in worship. Mr*. Dora McGuinness and Mrs. Bill Mulvey gave the scripture read- ings, followed by a prayer by Mrs. John Rutherford. A duet, "Morning Has Broken", was sung by Miss Joy Rutherford and Miss Nancy McGuinness. David Emke of Owen Sound drew a picture of Mt. Sinai, the cross and the grave, while his wife, Sarah, played and sang cor- responding songs. He then can- structed a model of elle Taber- nacle, while explaining its fea- tures and functions. CITY LIVING—There may be more stress when living in a city enJironment, although small towns and villages have their own problems too. The fellow on the right appears relaxed, probably because he is drunk, but if he can't get money to buy his wine, his stress could 'become apparent. The business man on the lett ignores him, concentrating on his own problems. Note his clenched fist and the worried expression on the woman's face behind him. new office in Clinton. In Winghaxn, A Mothers' Club was started by the Health Unit branch about five years ago. It had eight members then. It now has 60 and meets once a month.. It is basically for, mothers of pre- school children who get together to learn, to share and to better understand how to cope with their children. In Bruce County, more specifi- cally the lake region around Southampton, Port Elgin and Kincardine', a Mental Health Centre has been formed. Its top priority, to begin in September, is a parent effectiveness course, whereby parents will meet and learn "How To Enjoy Your Child- dren". It will strive to show par- ents a better understanding of their childdren and help them be- come more able to cope with de- mands and stress placed on par- ents by pre-school children. A COMMUNITY PROJECT Mrs. Betty. Kincaid, Director of Nursing at Kincardine and Dis- trict General Hospital, explains how the Centre was born. The large number of newcomers to the area each year had trouble integrating into the• community. Loneliness. among. the new fami- lies and increasing problems in the community promptedlocal people to take action. Local clergymen shared the responsibi- lity with school officials, hospital workers and members of the po- lice force, all sharing the opinion that help' was needed. Mrs. Kin- caid prepared a questionnaire for the local weekly newspaper and from that, they learned what the immediate problems were and devised ways of meeting the need. Also somewhere in the future for that area is a telephone ser- vice whereby a caller in trouble may dial a number and receive advice, be referred to profession- al help or merely have a shoulder to cry on. It will take time to find. suitable personnel to man the phones as understandably, they will need special training. "You don't draw names for something ike that," Mrs. Kincaid said. Right now, the main project is the parent effectiveness program as there is. a real need for that. LACK OF KNOWLEDGE Sadly, all programs for the im- provement of mental health suf- fer from the same problem — not enough people know about them. A marriage counsellor who served a large area around Huron and Perth Counties, was recently relieved of her duties be- cause the Ministry of Community and Social Services felt her ser- vices were no longer required. Perhaps, many did not consult her because they would not admit they needed a marriage counsel- lor. Perhaps many did not know about her work. In Bruce, there is a Bruce Wo- men's Directory where people may learn the services available to them and find numbers where help is only -a• telephone call away. Very often, however, the aver- age person does not know who tti6: call or where to go when he feels he is alone in the world. People need to be educated with a num- ber on their phones as handy as a fire number or ambulance direc- tory for the call can be just as ur- gent and the results as tragic if help does not arrive. Stressful situations exist in everyone's lives. They can lead to breakdown. ' But they can be recognized before that and we can get help, if we really want it. Learning to cope is the first, step in getting on top of life's' prob- lems. Help is available; learn where it can be found and seek it out before it's' too late! NOTICE IF YOUR ADVANCE -TIMES LABEL READS AUGUST 9=8-7 YOUR SUBSCRIPTION IS DUE Advance -Timis HOEGY FARM SUPPLY LIMITED Brodhagen, Ontario Tel. 345-2941 After hours, 345-2243 * Barn washing and. disinfecting Spraying with carbola - whitens and disinfects as it dries. * Cattle spraying for Tice and warble xo nt ro I . THE BASE "The Store FACTORY OUTLET That Saves You More" Our Gigantic Annual BIG TOP A Continues..... inside ,our store on AU remaining Men's - Boy's - Girl's - Ladies' Wear and Miscellaneous items, while stocks lasts, at these reduced low, low, prices. 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