HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Advance-Times, 1984-05-02, Page 18age
• 11
Minor, flM:ment$
in scien
A person I know recently
hurtled in after an afternoon
of skiing, pulled his toque off
and regarded himself dole-
fully in the hall mirror. "Hat
Hair," he mourned. "I've got
Hat Hair."'
Indeed, his head did have a
somewhat bevelled appear-
ance whichis what happens
when you jam a woolen hat
over a full thatch. It's ike
stuffing your head into a
pencil sharpener.
Hat Hair is one of those
minor maladies that only
dares whisper its name. Mil-
lions suffer from it. And if
Hat Hair is hell, what about
Cheap Shampoo Hair? Or
We're -Out -Of -Creme -Rinse
Hair?
Who has not had, at one
time or another, Bedsoring
Fingernail? Imagine not bit-
ing your fingernails, for two
weeks and getting them all
the same length and filing
therd into graceful ovals and
maybe even painting them
Mushroom Blush and pa.
ing thirty times a day to a
mire their lustrous sheen —
and then making the bed and
catching one of them on a
bedspring, bending it back
and breaking up the perfect
set. This is the sort of thing
that drives people to water-
beds.
Screendoor Heel is an af-
fliction of affluence because
it hits households which are
well regulated where screen
doors spring shut smartly
after they're opened. What
happens is this: the bottom
edge of the door scrapes your
escaping heel and bites it,
drawing blood and heavy in-
vective.
Spinach Tooth is ugly.
HEY KIDS! LEARN TO DRAW
WITH DANNY COUGHLAN
n
1. Here's Danny's complete drawing.
2. Finish what Danny started.
3. Now try it yourself!
Alas, you are the last to know
about Spinach Tooth. You're
out for lunch. You toss back
your Perrier, munch through
the garden salad with a
merry sally and daintily
drain your cup of Earl Grey.
Later, in the privacy of the
loo, you smile •into the
mirror, congratulating your-
self on all the clever things
you said at table. And there
it is a great mossy green
thing is wedged between
your cuspids. How long has it
been there? Only your lunch-
eon companion knows.
The story of Secret Goodie
Mouth is not a pretty one. It
goes this way. You are over-
come with a yearning for a
largetoffee Crisp bar. You
buy one. You sneak it into the
kitchen and wait until ad the
kids are downstairs watch-
ing WKRP. Then you wolf it
down, but in your haste to
finish it 'before the kids
swarm upstairs and catch
you and demand to know
why you aren't sharing like
you taught them, you teeth
go "crunch", right into the
inside of your face. And that
sore place gets sorer and
sorer because every time
you bite down on something
for the next two or three
days, the same vile teeth
sink into the same open
wound.
Did you ever suffer from
Lapsed Lids? These are eye-
lids that flop shut even as
you are gritting your teeth in
a grimly conscious effort to
hold them open. My lids have
lapsed in church, in operas,
in movies, and every time I
get into a moving vehicle.
Our car is the only one in
town with "Mystery Tour"
written on the front. I never
know where I'm going till I
get there and the Squire
hollers "Wake up!"
Most mothers have been
temporarily concussed by
Bunkbed Head, which is in
the same generic family as
Kitchen Cupboard Brow.
How often did I lean over my
darlings when they were
tiny, murmuring sweet
motherly comforts, only to
suddenly rise and smash my
head on the upper bunk? The
kitchen cupboard doors have
sprung open and attacked
me so often that I now wear a
preserving kettle on my head
when I make the lunches.
Let the beautiful people
suffer from blueblooded ail-
ments like tennis elbow and
jogger's nipple. Millions of
ordinary folk like you and
me face .the daily bread of
Hat Hair, spinach tooth and
even Peanut Butter Breath.
But overcoming them only
makes us stronger. When
other comforts fail, it helps
to remember that because
some of us go around with
spinach jammed between
our teeth the rest of the
world looks smart by com-
parison.
But listen. What's that soft
flopping sound? An epidemic
of Lapsed . Lids, drooping
from ennui, I fear. I'll take
the hint.
Goodbye, and look after
yourselves.
My wife and I were driving
into Toronto from the coun-
try recently, and my outlook
was even gloomier than the
lowering skies. "You know,
I said to her as if it was a
feshly minted idea, "for two
cents I'd give up television
and move out to the country
for good." My wife has heard
that line before, and her re-
joinder was about as stand-
ard as the remark itself,
"You'd be bored silly in two
weeks," she said, "and don't
forget, it's Spring.
I had forgotten it was
Spring. We've been married
twenty-seven years, and she
knows my moods better than
I do. The truth of it is that
every year about this time, I
slide into a shallow but fairly
long-term depression. I fly
off the handle even more
easily than usual during this
period; tend to become
morose, cynical and filled
with. self-doubt. After my
wife reminded me of this, I
asked myself why this should
'be. In many ways Spring is
the season I like most. The
first robin, the return of the
Canada geese, preparations
for the boating season, the
greening of the Landscape,
the frogs beginning to sing . .
these are all major events
crossroads
Published every Wednesday by We.nger Bros Limited as the lifestyle and
entertainment section in The Listowel Banner, The Wingham Advance -
Times, The Mount Forest Confederate and The Milverton Sun Members -of
the Canadian Community Newspaper Association. Ontario Community
Newspaper Association. and the Ontario Press Council. Controlled distri-
bution in Elmira. Palmerston. Harriston, Brussels. Millbank, Newton,
Atwood. Clifford. Drayton; Wallenstein, Moorefield and Arthur
Display and Classified advertising deadline — 5:00 p.m. Thursday week
prior to publication date
Advertising and Production
The Listowel Banner
188 Wallace Ave. N .
P.O. Box 97,
Listowel, Ont.
N4W 3H2
Accounting and Billing
The Wingham Advance -Times
Josephine St.,
P.O. Box 390,
Wingham, Ont.
NOG 2WO •
The Listowel Banner 291-1660. The Wingham Advance -Times 357-2320.
The Mount Forest Confederate 323-1550, The Milverton Sun 595-8921
' o
t
COPY for • Crossroads Classi-
fieds mast be received by 5
p m. Thursday of week prior
to publication.
FOR SALE
DUTCH windmills. Phone
357-1403.
2rrb
LIVING ROOM. suite, $90;
four piece bedroom suite,
$150; oil heater with tank,
$35; 12 foot work bench with
dowelled plank under steel
top and cast legs, $125. 323-
2241.
MOBILE HOME 50' x 12',
with attached porch ,4' x 8'.
Phone 392-6734.
1975 9.9 EVINRUDE out-
board motor with electric
start and long shaft. Excell-
ent condition. Also, a Little
Dude tilt boat trailer for 14-
16' boat. Ca11 357-1385 after 4
p.m.
ANTIQUE,.'Spinit desk and
antique parlor chair. Other
antiques. Phone 887-6220.
YARDS of Bargains. Cardi-
nal Street, Elmira, curbside
yard sale May 5 at 8 a.m.
GLASS and screen for three
sliding windows, 12 pieces
26" x 36" x 3/8". Phone 887-
6398.
FARMERS, before you buy
your hog slats check with the
Lahman line of farrow to
finish reinforced concrete
hog slats. Paul Lahman 699-
4501, after 6 p.m. 699-4173.
2,9,16,23
in my world, events that
make me feel better about
myself and the universe.
Why, then, the annual bout of
gloom? Perhaps it is because
I have always beenrestrain-
ed in Spring, kept indoors —
first in a musty schoolroom,
and then in a newsroom
without windows.
I remember the first apti-
tude test I ever took, when I
was in Frederickton High
School, and I remember the
hilarity at supper that night
when I produced the result of
the test for my father. It
recommended that I should
become,a tree surgeon. I am
less inclined to laugh now
than I was then. I have al-
ways loved the out-of-doors,
and I have a passion for trees
and things made out of wood
that borders on obsession.
Perhaps if I'd followed the
recommendation of that
OVERHEAD doors of all
types for car -garages to
extra large farm buildings or
shops. Free estimates, also
cash and carry. Save money
buy direct. Garage Doors of
Ontario Limited. Phone
Guelph 1-821-7682.
Apr.25-Julyll
FOR. SALE
11QORRY'S TRAIT,IFa ,pre-
season sale. Prowler ST,
Golden Falcon,, Park Model,
truck campers,' truck' eaps,
fifth wheel; parts, repairs,
trailer rentalS, consignment
selling. Highway 4, Hanover -
Walkerton. Phone
anover-
Walkerton.Phone 364-3748.
21 rrb
STRAW, large bales, bright
and clean. Call- Mark
Rohrer, 357-2868, no Sunday
calls. - •
18,25,2
REAL ESTATE
FOR SALE
WORK WANTED
CUSTOM plowing and cttiti-i.
vatiiiig• Phone 291-2155 or 335-
61.4.6. 18, 25, 2
SERVICES
GEORGE'S CAR OILING,
Wingham will open April 23,
evenings 6 to 9 p.m. and
toy m
Saturdays 9 a.m. p .
Also lawn mower and small
engine repair. Phone 357-
1995.
25, 2, 9.
ONE OWNER 2 bedroom
bungalow, 26 years old in
Molesworth, new aluminum
siding, new roof, paved
driveway, large lot for
garden. George Hayden
(519) 335-6293.
2, 9,16, 23
1" OR 11/4" TUBING gates,
10, 12, 14, 16 and 18' gates in
stock. Feed carts 10, 12 and,
16bushel. Self locking cattle
head rails. E. S. Martin
Welding, RR "1, Linwood,
Ontario. 519-698-2283.
Mar. 7 -May 30
PRIVATE SALE - Three
bedroom brick older home,
extra large lot, 20 John
Street, Linwood, asking
$35,000 with $5,000 down, and
will hold mortgage. Phone
698-2589.
25,2
WE HAVE Progressive
Euchre score cards; Court
Whist' tally cards; and
Bridge score pads at The
Listowel Banner, 188
Wallace Ave. N. Listowel.
TF
MORTGAGES
WE BUY and arrange first
and second mortgages on
residential property and
farms. Phone Bill Currie
now at 291-3800, 8:30 to 5:00
p.m., Monday to Friday.
TF
HELP WANTED
RAWLEIGH Distributors to
fill vacancies. No experience
necessary. Write Willard
Metzger, 18 South St. W.,
Ehnira, Ontario, N3B 1K7.
25, 2
BULLDOZING, scraperand
root rake work. Phone
Robert Holborn, RR 1, Ford-
wich, 335-3601 evenings.
18, 25, 2, 9
MAKE YOUR TREES
SAFE. Dead wood removed;
limbs removed over roofs.
Tree removal, stump
removal, shaping, pruning.
Fully insured. Robert's Tree
Service 848-3049.
18, 2, 9
PIANO Tuning. Please call
John L. Finlayson, 821-2574,
Guelph.
COMING EVENTS
LIVE THEATRE
The Grey -Wellington
Theatre Guild presents:
"The Lion in Winter" a
comedy in two acts at Harri-
ston Town Hall Theatre,
Main Street, Harriston,
Ontario on April 26-27-28,
May 3-4-5, curtain time: 8:30
sharp. For tickets, Moran's
Pharmacy, Stedman's Five
Cent -Dollar Store, Brown's
Family Pharmacy, Acheson
Pharmacy, Wallace's Dis-
count (Sears).
• Bennett
Sells for Less
ennett
Pontiac Buick - GMC
810 10th St.
HANOVER
Open Mon. -Wed
9.6pm.
Thurs.-Fri. 9 - 9
Sal. 9.5 pm
364-2140
early aptitude expert I'd
have avoided these spring-
time depressions. On the
other hand, it may just be
that school and work of any
kind have always offended
me. Ironically, the best cure
for depression, as far as I'm
concerned, has always been
to get off my butt and get to
work. That's what I've been
doing for the last couple of
minutes, and do you know, I
feel better already.
RETURN WITH ens To... by
Carole Landis
b>> t L)PRII
FRANCES RIOSTE BEGAN A
HOLLYWOOD CAREER AS AN
18 -YEAR-OLD EXTRA IN, 1937.
WITHIN THREE YEARS, UNDER
THE NAME CAROLE LAND*, '.
SHE WAS PLAYING MAJOR
ROLES IN MOTION PICTURES.
BEFORE CAROLE LANDIS DIED
IN 1948 AT THE AGE OF 29,
SHE APPEARED IN A STEADY
STREAM OF "A" AND "8" -
PICTURES, INCLUDING...
TP/R/VASOUT (194O),
TORFER RETURNS (1941),
ORCHESTRA VV/PES (1942),
SEH/NO GREEN L/6NTS (1946).
A SCANDAL /N °AR/3(1946)
OUT o. THE BLUE (19471 /
DURING WORLD WAR II TME
BLONDE BEAUTY TOURED
THE WAR ZONE ENTERTAINING
u. S. SERvICEMEN.
CARPETS - UPHOLSTERY
AUTO INTERIORS
Cleaned at your home or place of
business. We use the exclusive Von
Schrader dry foam method recommend-
ed by leading carpet and fabric manufac-
turers. No heavy soaking - carpets dry
2to4hours.
All work guaranteed, - call for free
estimates
Brussels - 887-9095
evenings
,•BESTWAY
CLEANING SERVICE
Prop: Fred G. Stephenson
"We offer the best -
- don't you think you deserve it?"
cue;
AUCTION SALE
Of Household Effects, Appliances, Antiques,'
.and Misc. Items to be held at 23 Racific Ave:
in the Village"of Mi(vretton Of rain to be held at
the Milverton Stockyard Building) on
Sat., May 5, 1984,
12:30 p.m.
HOUSEHOLD EFFECTS: Westinghouse ,frosf-
free refrigerator; G.E. portable mini washer,
like new; Viking clothes dryer; Westinghouse
wringer washer; wash stand; Roy four burner
range; Electrohome 26" color TV, 2 years old;
toaster oven; Hoover vacuum cleaner; 4 piece
Kroehler bedroom suite, 3 years old; news-
paper rack; arm chair; Electrohome record
player and records; end tables; matching
lamps; coffee tables; chesterfield; electric
broom; chest of silver; chrome table and six
chairs; electric, frypan; tea kettle; pots; pans;
towels; bed linens; dishes; knick knacks; and
mise. items.
ANTIQUES: China cabinet with matching table
and six' chairs; hall tree; hall mirror. child's
wicker rocker, good; 'tables; makeup dresser;
blanket box; desk; lantern; flat to the wall,
good; wood box; wicker fern stand; child's
table and two chairs; wine barrels; crbcks of all
sizes; and mise. items.
MISC. ITEMS: G.E. electric lawn mower; alurni-
num 6' step ladder; G.S,W. sump pump, like
new; shovels; forks; rakes; two sets of lawn
bowling balls; lawn furniture; lawn chairs; nor-
mal garden andhand tools; and many more
items.
TERMS: Cash or cheques accepted with pro-
per I.D. Proprietress or Auctioneer not respon-
sible for accidents on day of sale.
Proprietress:
Mrs. Bella Denstedt.
Auctioneer:
John Nicholson
Milverton, Ontario, 595-8596
1
Listowel Christian School
KINDERGARTEN
REGISTRATION
May 15
9 a.m. 0 3 p.m.
At Listowel Christian School
RR 1 ' Listowel
291-3086
nl!!RfI
THE EASY WAY TO ROLL COINS
NO NEED TO COUNT •
i
I
SADLY, CAROLE
LANDIS HAS FADED
INTO OBSCURITY
WITH THE PASSAGE
OF YEARS EVEN
THOUGH Movie -
GoeR9 OF THE
194O91CAN STILL
READILY IDENTIFY
HER AS A
PROMINENT
LEADING
LADY OF
_ FILMS,
y Newe Service
3499 :a. �99
or 2 for s
Coin wrapping paper free at all banks
For Immediate Delivery Send Cheque or
Money Order to:
Wenger Publications
Office Supply Division
P.O. Box 97
Listowel, Ont. N4W 3H2
AUCTION SALE
Of.Property, Mpusehold Effects -a
Valiant For the Estate of- -
Harmon . Mitchell,
Village of Rothsay,
Watch for sale signs in village
Saturday, May 5
1,1:00 a.m. ,
PROPERTY: Lot 66' x 132', consists of two
storey, four bedroom brick house with living
room, kitchen, dining room and 'three piece
bath, and two storey 20' x 30' steel shed.
TERMS OF PROPERTY: House selling with
reasonable reserve bid. 10% down day of sale,
balance in 30 days. To see house prior to sale
day phone: Nora Doig (519) 638-2842 or
John Mitchell (519) 638-3140.
APPLIANCES: Gold Moffatt frost free fridge;
McClary 30" electric stove; older Frigidaire
fridge; older Gibson dryer; Air King humidifier;
Simplicity SupertWin spin washer; small electri-
cal appliances.
FURNITURE & ANTIQUES: Hall seat with brass
hooks, hat rack, umbrella cupboard, drawer
and mirror; dining room suite - ext. table, 5
chairs and arm chair and buffet (Vic. legs on
table); chesterfield and chair; hall table; stack-
ing bookcase with 4 glass doors and top case
has lead in glass; stacking bookcase with 3
glass doors; oval . drop leaf gate leg table
(rough); hall table with carved legs; nest of 3
tables (rough); Fr. Prov. coffee table; lamp
table; platform rocker; swivel rocker; love seat;
chrome table and 4 chairs; wooden ext. table
(rough) and 6 pressback chairs wooden arm
chairs with covered seats; Tong hall style table;.
chest of drawers;. -374 cast iron -bed -with-brace
colored trim; small table: with drawers (rough);
dresser and mirror; wooden bed, washstand,
and dresser with mirror; round ped. hall table;
washstand (rough); long wooden bench; drop
leaf table (rough); day bed; odd chairs. ,
MISC.: Electrolux vacuum with power head,
like new; bedding; cheese box; floor lamp;.
crokinole board; mirror; AM -FM clock radio;
pictures and frames; Singer treadle sewing
machine; pots and pans; kitchen utensils; knick
knacks; 2 oil lamps; Toro power snow shovel;
B & 'D skill saw; wicker basket; ext. ladder;
picket fence; Ingraham 'mantle clock (rough).
IiISHES: Salt and peppers; 1881 Rogers Bros.
cream and sugar; large .Johnson Bros. platter
and 11 plates, gold band pattern; small pink
dep. platter; Bread Is The ,Staff of Life plate;
pink dep. cookie jar aid lid; old glass spoon
holder; purple glass bud vases; H.P. purple
glass vases; blue glass vase with white inside;
glass pitcher with iris pattern; H.P. chamber pot
with lid; odd dishes, grasses and other items
too numerous to mention.
CAR: 1973 Valiant, 4 door; 6 cyl. auto., power
brakes and steering; 50,000 orig. miles. Ex.
shape, 4 new radial tires. Selling certified.
Lunch Booth
Terms: Cash or cheque with proper LD, day
of sale. Estate or, auctioneers not responsible
for accidents day of sale. Any annbuncemertt
or corrections given verbally day of sale.
Auctioneers:
BARRY & KEITH GRAY
Harriston
(519)'3394722 or 3434607
1