HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Advance-Times, 1984-02-01, Page 16Page 2 CrasSrOads—Feb. 1, 1984
Shirley Whittington
A compendi
There should be a Pulitzer
Prize for the overwrought
prose that pours from the
pens of fashion writers. How
rich, and fruity it is! How
they must comb their ima-
ginations to find suitably
fanciful phrase ,s to describe
a nice dress. To a fashion
writer a nice dress could be"
. . . a charming spirited
dance dress.. . with an exu-
berant skirt."
Anybody out there want to
take an exuberant skirt to a
party? Don't let it drink too
much.
Consider this blushless
conceit: " . . . a low -slung
cowl neck that might with
cunning modesty be knotted
up or left gaping, hell -cat
fashion,. . " Decisions, deci-
sions.
Where would you wear "an
amazing little study in silked
linen?" To night school?
Would you really want to
own a sweater that was
"soft, comfortable and
amusing?"
When clothing becomes
that densely literate, it's
hard to know what to reach
for in the closet each morn-
ing. It becomes necessary to
keep a dictionary beside the
make-up mirror.
For slow readers" some-
times it's easier to simply
choose a Look, rather than
plowing through paragraphs
of breathless, ruffled .de-
scriptions. For those of you
who want to be au courant
but who are in a hurry I've
compiled a definitive list of
Looks, as follows:
The Layered Look: This
look is, not popular in Tahiti
or Mexico, but those of us
who live in draughty pld
houses or corner apartments
still cling to it. It is some-
times hard to, believe that
there is an actual person at
the kernel of a layered look,
but in there somewhere is a
naked human who has pro-
gressively donned a T-shirt,
HEY KIDS! LEARN TO DRAW
WITH DANNY COUGHLAN
DA PPy (g)
Pits
1. Here's Danny's complete drawing.
0Q
2. Finish what Danny started,
IN
3. Now try it yourself! ,
of I • • ks
a shirt, a vest, a sweater, a
jacket, a shawl and maybe a
muffler. And that's just the
top half. Nether regions can
be buried in socks and leg -
warmers and boots and long
pants and goodness know
what all. The best thing
about the layered look is that
if you fall down — and you
might — you won't hurt
yourself.
The Preppie Look: This
puts both sexes into flannels,
button-down collars, ties and
pure wool sweaters. The re-
sulting fashion plate stands
as a model for nagging
mother who speak thusly to
their feckless untidy off-
spring: "I saw Mrs. Summ's
boy Hans today and he look-
ed so neat and clean. I hear
he's very good at his studies
too. It certainly wouldn't
hurt you to get out of those
filthy sweat pants Once in a
while. It doesn't cost any-
thing to be neat and tidy."
It costs to look preppie
though, with argyle sweaters
retailing for $50 and the grey
flannels costing a little more
than a week's groceries.
However, once suited up, a
preppie looks innocent and
noble, almost. A preppie -
dressed kid could smoke
banana skins and steal
money for Donkey Kong
from his mother's Florida
fund, but nobody would sus-
pect him of a thing if he was
dressed 'in flannels, a nice
sweater, a shirt and,a tie.
The Japanese Street Look:
This is catching on fast in
high fashion circles. Unless
they are big for Meir age and
move with confidence, wear-
ers of this navy-blue black
and brown look tend to look
like derelict children living
in Dickensian poverty. Flat -
heeled boots, flapping black
capes with uneven hems,
baggy trousers and blouses
with holes torn artfully here
"Your shirt's on inside -
"1 know."
"Well, aren't you going to,
changeit?"
"Of course not. In the city,
this is high style."
and there -- thaMhe Street
Look, and it's a gloomy one.
This is a difficult look to
achieve but once assmbled it
doesn't show the dirt and is
ideal for those who never get
around to stitching up hems
and gaping seams.
The Punk Look: Now
here's an ugly kettle of fish.
Shaved heads, stark white
make-up, leather, chains,
and metal studs — it certain-
ly isn't the look you'd choose
for your nephew's christen-
ing party. You should only
dress punk if you don't mind
being stared at. One can't
help gawking at a girl whose
hair has been shaved in two
wide- bands above her ears,
who wears black lipstick
hockey socks and red plastic
sling -heeled pumps. They
tell me the Punk Look is re-
lated to the Headbanger
look, the Hard Core Look and
the Rocker Look. Do you
care?
New Wave seems angular
and brittle with asymmetri-
cal closings aid bare shoul-
ders popping up unexpected-
ly. If you are the kind of per-
' son who goes nuts' if the can-
: dlesticks are not arranged
symmetrically on the mantel
this look is not for you.
.. It is difficult to keep up
".4ith all the new Looks but in
the interests of a better -
dressed You, I have done my.
bet. I'll continue to keep my'
e€ 'open for trends and am
in fact researching some
right now. A young person,
home for the festive season
appeared for breakfast one
morning With his sweater
inside -out. The following dia-
logue ensued:
crossroads
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So there you are. Wearing
your shirt inside out is high
style in the city.
Conversations like this
lead to another look — one
worn often by parents. It's
called the Puzzled Look.
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