HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Advance-Times, 1984-01-18, Page 16•
Paget -*Crossroads—Jan. 18,1984
(
CURLY MAPLE DESK
Early American Chippendale
You?/never taik alone
People who talk to them-
selves are often considered
to be as loony as a northern
lake, but this is not neces-
sarily true. I have talked the
notion over with myself and I
can assure you that people
who hold long conversations
with themselves are as sane
as bishops.
You are only crazy when
your inner voice suggests
something bizarre like
"Let's shove Smarties up our
pose," and you say," Hey
great ideal!"
Antique
or
Junque
Everybody has an inner
person locked away in the
back of the brain. This is the
little guy 'who after the mir-
ror you hung on one of those
gummed adhesive things has
fallen and shattered into a
million shards says, "I told
you that would happen. Now
you're gonna get it."
The little inner voice is al-
ways there. To paraphrase a
favorite old song, "It walks
with me and it talks with me
F"lls me I am inade-
quate."
You are not the only per-
son in the world who looks m
the bathroom mirror in the
morning and hears an inner
voice saying, "Good morn-
ing, Ugly." I'm sure it hap-
pene to Queen Elizabeth now
and then, or even to Brooke
Shields on those days where
she can't pay the rent.
Because I grew up without
siblings in a remote country
area. I learned to talk to my-
ramminafts. ,Bill Smiley
The well of goodness
Early 1900s
covered pitcher..
By James G. McCollam
Member, Antique
Appraisers Association
of America
Q. 1 have a, small (61/2 -
inch) covered pitcher with
geometric designs. On the
bottom is the enclosed mark.
Who made it, when, where,
and how much is it worth?
A. This- was made by
Knowles, Taylor, and Know-
les in East Liverpool, Ohio.,
It dates back to the early
1900s and would sell for
about $50 to $60.
Q. This curly maple desk
has been in my family for
over 100 years. I would like
to 'know what you can tell me
about its vintage and value.
The sides are joinedto the
top, with dovetails and_ other.'
joints are secured with pegs.
A. Your desk is Early
American Chippendale and a
choice antique. It was hand-
made in the late -18th century
and would sell in the $2,500 to
$3,000 range.
Q. Why should some pieces
CHINA.
of Depression Glass and Car-
nival Glass made in the 20th
century be worth more than
a fine piece of hand -cut cry-
stal made 100 years ago?
A. Good question! Theyo--
shouldn't.
Brilliant -cut glass is a
work of art and beautiful to
behold. Depression and Car-
nival Glass were cheap
molded glass with little or no
artistic merit. When brand
new any piece ,could be
bought for less than $1. One -
hundred years ago cut glass
was an expensive luxury.
Collectors have bid the
prices. up on Carnival and
Depression Glass and deal-
ers have fostered the fad.
Unfortunately, I have to re'
port what glass sells for —
not what I think it is worth.
RETURN WITH VSTO...
1;)-:
li
A FEMALE PRIVATE EYE ? THAT WAG
VIRTUALLY UNHEARD dF UNTIL THE
BEAUTIFUL ANNE FRANCIS PLAYED
. DETECTIVE HONEY %JEST IN THIS
ACTION -FILLED ASC=Tv SERIES
IN 1965-66.
0
HONEY WAS PROFICIENT 'IN JUDO AND
KARATE, USED ALL KINDS OF AMAZING
DEVICES' AS WEAPONS, AND CARRIED A
MODIFIED LIPSTICK CONTAINING A RADIO
TRANSMITTER. THERE WAS LOGIC IN
HER CHOICE OF PROFESS,ON... SHE
INHERITED THE FAMILY DETECTIVE
BUSINE86 AND PARTNER' 5A -M BOLT
FROM HER LATE FATHER '
HONEY WEST WAS
INTRODUCED TO
TV AuDiENCES
IN AN APRIL,
1965, EPISODE
OF ANOTHER
DETECTIVE
SHOW...
BUR/ -es
LAW
Since this column will not
appear until after Christ-
mas, I won't send greetings,
except that I hope you had a
merry one and didn't get run
over on New Year's Eve.
Run over either way.
Last year was a violent ,
and fearful year on this
earth. If I were a Bible -
thumper, I'd surely believe
that Armagedden is just
around the corner. Even the
plea of the American diplo-
mat at the U.N. to the Israe= _
lis and the Arabs that if only
they'd get together and settle-
their- grievances" in a Chris-
tian manner didn't have
much effect.
However, I'm not going to
write about the evil in the
world and in -man's heart.
r It's too obvious.
I'm going to write about
the good. I've been bereft for
some weeks (I know, Roger
Bell, you'll be saying he's
been bereft for years.)
Anyway, I've learned, and
I. hope it's not too late, that
there is a deep well of good-
ness and kindness beneath
our world-weary, ordinary,
every -day sterility.
I still can't believe that so
many people care about me.
My colleagues, to whom I
thought I was just Old
Smiley, have shown a sensi-
tivity I honestly didn't credit
them with.
With the men, it's the obli-
gatory three thumps on my
sore shoulder and a mum-
bled word of sympathy, or a,
"How are you, Bill?" instead
of the usual, casual "Hi."
With the women, it's more
subtle. It's just a caring look,
a special gentleness, an invi-
tation to supper, an offer to
help me into my jacket,
which is a painful business.
My principal has been a
brick (watch your type -set-
ting there, Jack.) .He has
done everything logically
possible to ease my physical
and emotional pain.
Had I wished, I could have
dined out every night of the
week. As it is, I've had three
roast beef dinners, more
than I.'ve had in three years,
with charming, caring
families, -
A lady friend and col-
league, who is an excellent
cook, sent around a hot, right
out of the oven, chicken pie.
When I phoned to thank her
and tell her it was the best
chicken piei'd ever eaten,
there was a;k:rash of thunder
and a big limb fell off my oak
tree. (Take it easy, Suze,
HONEYS TRAVELING
OFFICE... A VAN
wm SoLr
& CO. LETTERED \-
ON IT.
crossroads
11111816
wherever you are. I was only
being polite.)
There have been letters,
not just cards of sympathy,
from two former cleaning
ladies, my wife's hairdres-
ser, herformer piano stu-
dents, and many others she •
dealt with, saying how much
they had liked her.
My neighbors have been
superb, as always. Flowers,
food, offers of help, and the
decency to leave me alone
for a while, to gnaw the
bones of my grief.
Her piano -tuner and his ,
wife drove two hundred
miles to pay their respects. A
card would have done.
Even my son, with whom
my relationship has been
rather hit-or-miss in the past
few years, has turned into a
hovering ,angel. No phoney
sympathy, no . maudlin
meanderings. Hard work.
He's done more practical
hard work around here than
in all -the other years put
together. Preparing food and
making me eat. Shovelling
snow. Vacuuming rugs.
Shopping for groceries.
Making me rub castor oil
into my sore shoulder. Forc-
ing me to. eat porridge (ugh)
but making it so delicious
with fruit and stuff that I
actually enjoyed it.
I could go on for two
columns. But I won't. This is
just a note of thanks to God
that he has put into people
not nastiness and bitchiness
and self-pity and self-cen-
tredness ( they developed
those on their own), but
kindness and tenderness and
goodness and gentleness and
the ability to care for one in-
significant fellow human.
Something else I've
learned. John Donne said,
"No man is an island." Of
course he isn't, A man is a
mere tuft of grassin a quag-
mire. In comparison, a
woman (most women), are
continents.
Suze and I used to bicker
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constantly, as I'm sure you
do, about who had the hard-
est job.
She: "'You have -ne idea
what I do around here.
You're useless. You can't
even change a light bulb; or
won't. I have to deal with all
the workmen, pay the bills,
clean the house, wash your
dirty clothes, and come up
with a gourmet dinner." And
soon.
I: "Yabbut you can sleep
in in the morning if you want,
have a nap after lunch,
watch soap operas, visit
friends, and you don't have
to get up every morning and
face those rotten kids all
day. And, besides, who earns
all the money so you can
have all that freedom?"
On both bended knees, I
take it all back. You'll never
hear a male chauvinist in
this column, ever again.
She's been gone only a few
weeks, and I'm surrounded
by unpaid ;bills, dirty laun-
dry, grubby . sinks, ring
-around- the bathtub, and
huge piles of paper that have
to be de{lt with. I can't run
the washing machine. I burn
everything I put in the oven.
And I can't FIND anything.
Yes, there's a triumphant,
slightly malevolent radiance
in the sky. She's reading my
column.
Silver Dart flew first
Canada formally entered
the aerial age Feb. 23, 1909,
with the first successful
flight in Canada of the Sil-
ver Dart. The first aircrft
designed and manufac-
tured in Canada, the Bad -
deck No. 1 was completed
in July 1909.
Martial law protests
On Aug. 13, 1982, riot po-
lice in Gdansk, Warsaw and
other Polish cities broke up
marches and demonstrations
marking the eight-month an-
niversary of martial law.
self as soon as I learned to
talk. One day I was the
Bobl�sey Twins and another
day • I was Abbott and Cos-
tello. The hills were alive
with the sound of me.
Inner voices are great ath-
letic coaches. You can hear
them on the ski hills or the
(Wpu 1 U doui't, acayilhi ,
"Steady. Steady now here
comes the hard part. Take it
easy. You're gonna miss it.
You're gonna miss it, you're
gonna miss ... there I told
you you'd miss it you stupid
knothead."
Sometimes the still small
voice of calm becomes an
unruly -great roar. Suppose
you inadvertently poke
somebody with your umbrel-
11 in an -elevator. The inner
voice says, right out loud,.
"Watch it, you clumsy ox."
Sometimes the pokee thinks
the remark is directed at
him and a fist fight can erupt
if he doesn't believe your
"Silly me. I was just talking
to myself."
A friend of mine nuked a
priceless antique lamp once
when she was vacuuming the
living room. In her rage and
chagrin she forgot that there
was a man in the basement
repairing some wiring. Her
inner voice got very loud as
it chastised her with a full
catalogue of colorful invec-
tive which maligned her line-
age, her vision, her co-ordin-
ation and her intelligence.
Halfway through the tirade,
she remembered the elec-
trician who was standing be-
low astonished and no doubt
making notes for his coffee
FOR SALE
Firewood Logs
Hardwood
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Lo -Can Inc.
887-6526
break the next day. (7 01
telling you, you wouldn't be-
lieve the things that broad
was saying. I didn't think
women ever used language
like that.")
There have been times
when I have returned home
after a thorny encounter in
the otitoift world and I've
Slammed things around in
the kitchen muttering things
like "I'll murder him.
Imagine the nerve. Who does
be think he is?" And so on.
I can't tell you how silly, I
feel when a door silently
opens and a kid materialises
and says. "Hi. Who's here?"
I now realize that loud mu-
sic and talk shows were in-
vented to drown out inner
voices. "Play on!" roared
Henry Eighth to his court
musicians after beheading a
wife. Joan of Arc on the other
hand didn't have a Walk-
man. She not only heard but
obeyed her inner voices and
look where she wound up, the
toast , of Rouen.
Inner voices cannot be
trained to sing or whistle or
do much that is amusing.
They- tend to be dry, moral,
perfect, little goody two.
shoes.
They do however exist. A
couple of learned folks have
just written a book called
The Inner Enemy which not
only identifies the source of
that rotten nagging shrew
within us all but tells how to
live with it. Isn't that com-
forting?. _.
Time to stop typing.
Dummy.
There it goes again.
pacts about
-oodburning
stoves.
Frequently inspect pipe -and con-
nections, checking out for creosote
and soot build-up. Monthly clean
out during heating season is
recommended.
Please feel free to contact any of the member companies
listed below for your free copy of "Guide to Installation
and Safety of Wood Stoves".
This ad is sponsored by:
Culross Mutual Fire. Insurance Company
Box 173, Teeswater, Ont. NOG 2S0, 1-519-392-6260
Ronald K. Lamont
Dufferin Mutual Fire Insurance Company
Shelburne, Ont.LON ISO, 1.519.925.2027
Art Reimer
Elma Mutual Fire insurance Company
Atwood, Ont. NOG 1130, 1-519-356-2582
Douglas Little
Formosa Mutual Fire Insurance Company
Formosa, Ont. NOG I WO, 1.519-881.1038
Vern Inglis
Germania Farmers' Mutual Fire Insurance Company
Ayton, Ont. NOG ICO, 1-519.665.7550
Wm. L. Brusso
Grey & Bruce Mutual Fire Insurance Company
262 10th St. Hanover, Ont. N4N 1 N9, 1-519-364-2250
Albert McArthur
Howick Farmers' Mutual Fire Insurance Company
Wroxeter, Ont: -NOG 2X0, I.519-'335.3561
Randall Hutchinson A.I.I.C, -
McKiilop Mutual Fire Insurance Company.
Seaforth, Ont. NOK I WO, 1-519-527-0400
Mrs. Margaret. Sharp
West Wawanosh Mutual. Insurance Company
Dungannon, Ont. 1-519-529-7922
• Norris Peever
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