HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Advance-Times, 1985-11-27, Page 24Page 8A—Crossroads—Nov. 27, 1985
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The criticisms w d ch age
has always levelllat youth,
do not seem to hie changed
much through the years. The
youngster of today, so his
grandrnother.will tell you, is
sadly lacking in manners,
morals and manly ambition.
It is an old, old plaint.
Youth has been going to the
dogs ever since Adam raised
Cain, and the downward
trend was just as evident in
grandmother's time as she
.thinks it is today. But yester-
day I heard a grandmother
make a comment which was
just a little different.
"There's no such thing as
courtship anymore," the
seventy -year-old lady told
us. "It's nothing but just
necking nowadays."
. Just how. much close ob-
servation this particular
grandmother had been able
to make on the subject, I am
not too sure, but she is Cer-
tainly right in her contention
that the relationship of the
sexes of her day was con-
siderably different than it is
noly. And had she been able
to recall the prescribed.
course for the true loves of a
hundred odd years ago, the
difference would have been
more stri tng.
We c me across an in-
terest' g bo, ' the other day
call9M"Tht f':tiqu'ette of
Co tship ant.: lLoma'nce". It
. bels the date mark 1852.
"It is legitimate," says
this noble old book, "for a
gentleman to find out where
the lady of his eye may
dwell. But in no case must he
approach the lady herself.
Neither is it good taste to ask
any member of her family. It
is much better to make:very
discreet inquiries from the
most ready means in her
neighborhood. But in no
case, should the young man
mention the lady byname!"
The book goes on to advise
that if all other means fail to
make contact, a man might
consider attending the lady's
place of worship, or to meet
her "so .often as to be
manifestly for the purpose,
'in the course of her morning
promenades."
Still, the well bred young
gentleman of the Victorian
era was warned that 1 e must
not' be so rash as to a tempt
words with the young lady
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herself. First, he should
judge from a distance if the
lady seemed to have the
qualities which he would like
to have in a wife. (The book
goes into a great deal on the
method here.) Next, the
young man should attempt to
judge, again silently,
whether his attentions were
distasteful or otherwise. A
timid blush or "a smile lurk-
ing in the half -dropped eye"
are favorable signs, the book
declares, and once obtained,
the young man may then
with propriety attempt the
next step, that of writing to
her father. '
"All secret and un-
acknowledged meetings are
to be avoided," the book
warns. "The repetition of
Clandestine meetings is
always more or less injur-
ious through life. The
romance evaporates, but the
memory of the disgraceful
indiscretion survives."
Certainly the love arrows
aimed from such foggy
distances must have failed
more often than they struck
home, and . yet unrequited
love was apparently a very
serious matter. If the re-
jected suitor had the time
,,and a suitable taste for
words, he might drown his
sorrow in the writing of
poetry, and volumes of verse
seem to have been -as
common in those days as
video tapesare now.
For the less versatile of the
rejected swains, there were
the alternatives of emigrat-
ing to a new country, a duel
with the man who won- or' of
simply languishing in
melancholia for a suitable
time.
But the most significant
information which the book
has to offer was of a nature
so delicate that no comment -
other than the briefest of
statements could be risked.
This was the sad admission
of one small and shy little
paragraph, that never befol'e .
in British history had the
percentage of illegitimate
births been so shockingly.
high
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