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The Wingham Advance-Times, 1985-05-29, Page 29^fir_ • tele II I ® ... CKVR Barrie ® ... WIVB Buffalo Q ... CBC Toronto Q5 ... WDIV Detroit 0 ... Global . WKBW Buffalo Q`.-. WJBK Detroit Wed., June 5 AFTERNOON 12:00 ®()iiC)® News OW Waldo Kitty O Beaver ® Flintstones ® Ryan's Hope ® Midday e French Open Ten- ' nis Champ. 12:25 ID Agri -News 12:30 Q© The. Young and Restless QQ News Q Wheel of Fortune ®Q Loving ® Every Second Counts Q Super Pay Car Q FYI Noon Edition 1:00 Q Soapbox as You're Beautiful Quo®Q All My Children ©O Days of Our Lives el The Don Harron Show 1:30 000 As the World Turns ® City Lights 2:00 Q TBA Q Let's Make A Deal mQ Midday ® 20 Minute Workout Q Dallas One Life to Live OM Another World 2:30 Q® Capitol Q Do It For Yourself Q Rituals Micromagic Q Pitfall 3:00 Q Do It For Yourself EQUUS Big Band Show - Top 40's Appearing At The WINGHAM INN' May 30, 31 & June 1 $2.00 Cover Charge ® Expo Baseball: Montreal at San Fran- cisco Laverne and Shirley O The New You ®p General .. Hospital ® Coronation Street ®Q Santa Barbara Q Fitness Break 0a)® The Guiding Light 3:30 0 All In The Family ® The Green Hornet ID Too Close For Comfort Q Kids World a) TBA 4:00 Q Love Boat MC) Divorce Court Q Soapbox ei The Young and the Restless ® Hart To Hart 00 Video Hits Q Beverly Hillbillies ® Toronto Rocks © Jeffersons Q Do It For Yourself 4:30 Q7 QQ People's Court ISO Jeffersons Q MASH Q Going Great Q Eight Is Enough 5:00 7QQ Benson Q Jeffersons Q Sale of the Cen- tury ® Hogan's Heroes Q Video Hits 080 The Price Is Right Q Three's Company Q News 5:30 BO News Q Three's Company The one investment He said he was a fi• • nancial planner. He dropped in to learn more about investment funds in order to do abetter job for his clients. -He wanted to do his hest for them, he they the ordinary worker or the six -figure an- nual income person. I Drove 300 miles 1 liked him. He really wanted to do the best job possible for his.clients and• he had now driven almost 300 miles to "pick my brains", He wanted to learn all he could' about mutual funds. • • I asked: "What do you know about mutual funds?" ' He responded with the usual' answers stating "they were investment • pools managed by experts" • and "everyone has- the same gain (or loss) over the same time span" and •'"some have exceptional track records over tihe past decade with averages ex- ceeding 20 per cent per year" and "they are ex- tremely 'safe' beca use of the -diversification of having many .investments pooled together:" , • Yes, he hail done his homework. ' He went, on -to say that there were many different 'types of mutual funds. ranging all the way from the most popular — equity funds — to income funds, bond funds. money market funds, real estate funds, gold funds, precious metal ADVERTISEMENT IT'S YOUR MONEY. Paul J. Rocket ' funds. natural resource funds, etc. " But . the next question threw him. I asked: "Have you any idea. of the pro- . ,.grams mutual funds have, • and how 'they can be' ap- plied to save on income taxes, or provide virtually . tax-free Monthly incomes?" He didn't know what 1. was talking about, but he wasn't alone. i would estimate that less than one-tenth of' one per cent of Canadians know anything about these pro- grams. Thus my financial planner friend was simply one of the majority who know little or nothing about what I call the most fabulous thing ever in- vented by') the financial world, namely, a mutual fund withdrawal plan. He was absolutely amazed when' I illustrated how a person with $10,000 could take out a monthly in, come of' 'any percentage they wanted and have it come to them almost' tax free. Then I explained and showed that a person with $10,000, taking out $100 a month (which'is $1,200 per year) would probably pay less than $30 in income tax even if they were in the 50 per cent tax bracket. That leaves them with $1,1711 to . spend. Then we did the.samecal- culation, showing $.10,000 invested at -12 percent inter- est, earning $1,200peryear, with tax in the 50 per cent bracket eating up $600 per year, leaving only •$600 to spend. Same $$less tax Same dollars invested, same "income", but one had a $30 tax liability, the other a-$600"taz liability. He was amazed. He, like 99.9 per cent of Canadians didn't know. When he learned about many of the other pro- grams available thr gli • mutual funds, he s• id "I really didn't know, • ut this one type of inves ent pro- • vides almost a the an- swers to tax ',wing, and asset growth." He now kno an has decided to join ouri stry, • For a FREE illustration . of a "withdrawal plan" • write: Paul J. Rockel, 153 Union St. E.,. Waterloo,' Ont. N2J 1C4 and ask for! "withdrawal plan". Paul J..Rockelis President of • Regal Capital Plan, els Ltd. and of the Independent In- vestment Fund Dealers As- sociation of Canada. - new-lifeoriClls limited DON'T WAIT UNTIL YOUR ...PASTURE DRIES UP.. . think about your grass -feeding program now. Feeding a balanced ration on pasture is a proven method of putting extra, pounds of beef on and getting. the maximum yield from your pasture. - New -Life Pasture Rations are designed to limit in- take and maximize gains. Contact your local New -Life Sales Representative to discuss booking your summer requirements now. Phone your nearest New -Life Mills outlet or contact your local Sales Representative. Al Bye Carl Wright Steve White Res. 376-3313 Res. 369-3658 or 1-800-265-5510 Res. 364-1180 P.O. Box 219, Hanover, Ont. N4N 3C5 — 519-364-3260 Q ... CKNX Wingham ... CFPL London CHCH Hamilton ® ... CKCO Kitchener Q...TSN ® ... City TV .Toronto The following programs, listed as supplied by the TV stations, are subject to change. Crossroads—May 29, 1985 -Page 7E1 dill Smiley Right in the eye! MIND JO Taxi =jeopardy 10 WKRP In Cincin- nati ® Baseball Bunch EVENING 6:00O®®fp® News ® Citypulse Q Star Trek IQ Scan Newshour ® FYI at 6:00 ® IHRA Drag Rac- ing 6:30 00 News 7:00 OO Wheel of For- tune ® Jeopardy W Entertainment Tonight WOO One Day At A Time Q Square Pegs Super Password' ® Sportsdesk ©C News Q Telefest Mini Series 7:30 Q Julius Erving's Sports Focus ® Blue Jay Base- ball: Minnesota at Toronto) Q MASH Q Three's A Crowd mg Three's Com- pany Q Silver Spoons IID Don Cherry's Grapevine ® Wheel Of Fortune Q Family Feud QQQ PM Magazine Detroit Q Name That Tune 8:00J Double Dare Q Highway To Heaven BOO The Fifth Estate ® Movie "The Salzberg Connection" Q Just Jazz Q Fall Guy Q Mike Hammer I0D French Open Ten- nis Champ./s 8:30 m The Performers 00 E/R 9:00 Qs Facts of Life QQ Q Movies "TBA" Steel ©0010 Remington " Q TBA IID Fame 0 Movie "The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia" 9:30 ® Sara 10:00 QQ St. Elsewhere IID Citypulse Tonight 00010 National m Cagney and Lacey Q Knots Landing u' 10:20 00010 Journal 10:30 O Benson 11:00 FYI Final Edition Q Newsfinal OOj OcQOImQ- News - ®SCTV ® CTV National News m Sportsdesk 11:20 0 Ontario Report Q National Update 10 10 11:30 0010 Entertain- ment Tonight Sportslirie ®. Tonight Show 11)Q Taxi Nightline 0 Movie "Isabel" ® Barney Miller ® PKA arate 11:50 63 Ontario Report 12:00 Q Dallas ®® Charlie's Angels O Movie "Juarez" Q Movie "Malibu Beach" Q Movie "Earth vs. Flying Machine" W® Mery Griffin f Rat Patrol ® Movie "The Manipulator" 12:30 Q Late Night Q Love Boat 1:00 Q Eye On Hollywood in Medical Centre QQi The Saint W Expo Baseball (R) 1:30 Q News Q Welcome Back, Kotter ® Late Night 1:40 I® Movie "Badge 373" 2:00 ® Nightwatch MC) Maude Q Highlights Q Chico and the Man Q Flipper 2:30 Q Flipper Q Movie "TBA" 3:00 (ihi Eight Is Enough 3:30 Q IHRA DragRac- ing 3:55 ® Movie "Joe Hill" 4:00 (1)0 Night Watch 4:30 Q French Open Ten- nis Champ. ® News 5:00 ® Here's Lucy Q Telling Secrets 5:50 ® Abbott and Costello Step by step (NC) — Yogesh lives in the Third World, His village is a scattering of mud huts. For every step forward, pov- erty pushes his family two steps back. But they could have a chance to improve their lives. When children like Yogesh are supported through Foster Parents Plan, education, clean water, job training, medical care can be provided. You can make the difference. Fora free booklet en Fos- ter Parents Plan, write Box 900, Dept. PS, Station Q, Toronto, Ont. M4T 2P1, or call toll-free 1-800-268-7174 (in' B.C. 112-800-268-7174). Movies on Channel 6 " MONDAY, 9:00 P.M.—"SHADOW ON THE LAND". (1969): A futuristic look at a totalitarian state where the Leader commands an elite Internal Security Force to keep ordin- ary citizens in line,4ith established policies. An under- __ ground movement .called., the .Society of Man .Is_.formed.._in .__. rebellion to the rigid structures. Starring Jackie Cooper, John Forsythe, Gene Hackman, Carol Lynley. Movies on Channel 7 SATURDAY, 11:30 P.M.—"THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHT= FOOT". Stars Clint Eastwood, George ' Kennedy. A bank robber posing as a preacher is saved by a young stranger when his former colleague come gunning for him because e they, think he double-crossed them over the loot. They make up and plot to repeat the caper. SUNDAY, 12 NOON—"BATTLE FOR THE PLANET OF TH4 APES". Stars Roddy McDowell, Paul Williams. Whi. the ape civilization' is trying to live peacefully with humans .who are atom bomb mutations, the "humans" plan and carry on an attack on the apes. There is also trouble within the ape community as one of their own plans a military dictatorship. SUNDAY, 2:00 P.M.—"NOTORIOUS". Stars Cary Grant,' Ingrid Bergman, Claude Rains. A government agent and a girl whose father was convicted of treason, undertake a dangerous mission to Brazil. SUNDAY, 8:00 P.M.—"THE SHINING". Stars Jack Nichol- son, Shelly Duvall, Danny Lloyd. An innocent family is marooned in an evil dwelling with a grim history. The father who experiences violent outbursts, is gradually possessed by the demonic hotel that he was hired to care - take for the winter. As the father goes mad, the only pto- tection the mot, and child have is the boy's clairvoy- ance — The Shining — which allows him to outmaneuver the devil. SUNDAY, 11:30 P.M.—"JOHN AND MARY". Stars Dustin Hoffman, Mia Farrow. Following a pick-up in a bar, a young man and woman spend 24 hours of lovemaking be- fore learning each other's names. WEDNESDAY, 9:00 P.M.—"THE NIGHT THE LiGHTS WENT OUT IN GEORGIA". Stars Dennis Quaid, Kristy McNichol, Mark Hamill. A country western singer sets out for Nashville with his teenage sister serving as his man- ager, Along the way they become entangled in small town life and backwoods justice. If ever you decide to do some research on the lower forms of wit, I can tell you how' to go about it. Just get yourself a black eye. I had a doozer one time. My wife gave it to me. All right. Not that way. She was sitting in the car, waiting for me to carry the groceries into the house through the rain. Just a I bent and reach- ed for the car door to open it and ask her if that was all, she opened it smartly from the inside to ask me why I . hadn't brought out an um- brella. When the door nailed me in the eye, I thought I was a goner. My wife shrieked and ran straight into the house to see whether my "loss of limb or eye" accident policy was paid up. Within a few minutes, the eye was the size and color of a bartender's beezer. But by the time we'd finished argu- ing about whose fault it had been, it was obvious that I'd live. We didn't have a piece off steak, and if we'd had, I doubt that it would have been sacrificed. But the Old Girl, bless her, dug out some ham- burg that was going a bit blue, and made me lie down with a big hamburg poultice on the injured 'optic. Right off the ice, it felt pretty good at that, and I dropped off to sleep, moan- ing but brave. During the night, the bandage worked loose, and when I woke in the dark, I thought the eye had fallen out. But it was only hamburg, all the pillow. Next morning, the orb looked like a purple golf ball. We patched it up as best we could, and I set off to face the wits. The comments were hilarious. They ranged from the simple, dry brilliance of "Hoo hitcha?" and "Forgot to duck, eh?" to the coy, in - At wit's end by Erma Bombeck fitF' I never go to a class reunion that I don't come away feeling desperately sorry for all those pathetic people in their twilight years who look their ages, but don't act it. With me, it's different. I look the same as I did in col- lege, have the energy of a 20 - year -old and the body of an athlete. I cannot fathom why age has not taken its toll on me. And don't ask me to explain why we were all 21 or 22 when we graduated and I am now the youngest person in the room. I just accept it. You can imagine my sur - _prise when a survey came out a few weeks ago claiming that two-thirds of the men and women in this country perceive themselves as younger than they are. Once they reach middle age they think of themselves as any- where from 5to 15 years younger .... most of then putting themselves between • 30 and 35. Translation: Two-thirds of this country has the mental- ity and attitude of a 30 -year- old. No wonder Social Secur- ity is in trouble.. No one figures they're old enough to get it. No wonder unemploy- ment, is at a high. No one wants to retire. No wonder car sales are down. Every- one is out running mara- thons: Small wonder divorce rates are rampant. Every- one thinks they're single. can't figure out whaa,t's so great about being 30. I can truthfully say I. never aspired to lock into that decade. They weren't the best of all years for me. My .hair was its natural color, maternity underwear was a staple, and I had a four - phrase vocabulary: "Shut the door," "The cheque's; in the mail," "I'll be out in a minute. What do you want?" and "You should have gone before you left home." The days had 36 hours in them and I felt like I was 50 years old. Age 30 was a time of struggle. A time when you only went to your reunion if you were selling insurance or cars. A time when you got mad if your husband -wife didn't fly into a jealous rage when someone talked to you. A time when the car pay- ments outlasted your car by two years: It's a little scary that 23 of this country are in a youthful holding pattern, . dictating what music will be played, what television shows will be watched, what books will be read and what laws will be passed. Maybe it's, time for some- one to step 'forward and volunteer to assume their rightful age of wisdom and experience. It's a rotten job, but someone has to do it. I'd volunteer, but who would believe me? sinuating, "I knew she'd catch up with ya some day." They ran' the scintillating garnete_ from the inevitable, "I suppose ya ran into a door" to the ineffably. humorous sally, "Meet the former welterweight champ of the Smiley household." I came back with some real funnies myself. "My wife," I replied. "Footwork isn't what it used to be." I admitted. "Yotta see the other guy," I quipped. I can go along with a joke as well as the next bird. But after a while, in fact if I remember rightly, ft was just after the fourteenth "Hoo hitcha?", I began get- ting a little sore, I mean, fun's fun, you know, but, after all. So, when the next joker made his move, I told him, dolefully, that a maiden lady who didn't like my column had thrown acid in my face, and that I'd never have the sight of it again. He turned green. My next customer was a woman, who tittered, "That'll teach you to write things about your wife in that column of yours." I gave her a gentle, sad look from my good eye, and suggested that she not let the divorce alien- ate her from my wife. I left her with her mouth open. 1 quickly disposed of , an elderly lady, strong in the temperance movement, by informing her the injury had been received from, my young daughter, when she clubbed me on the eye with a half -empty whiskey bottle. It's good sport. Next time the old trouble -and -strife hangs one on you, Jack, you'll know what to do. 5th WHEELS by 7iLrly TAURUS New & Used In Stock. COME TO KITCHENER AND SAVE!! MOBILIFE RV CENTRE No. 8 Hwy. between Kitchener & Cambridge (519) 653-5788 NOW OPEN Manoeuvre your way around the tight curves and long stretches and experience the thrill of formula one racing in our ultra -quiet go-karts. , Take a walk through Waterloo County history on our 2 - 18 hole mini - golf courses. These delightfully different courses promise more fun and challenge than you have ever encountered before in mini -golf. Then, after you've plummeted down the 160 foot long dry slide and tried your skill in the fully stocked arcade, relax and enjoy a cool drink, a snack or a full course meal at Rafter's Restaurant and Dining Lounge. Also Featuring: Golf Pro Shop; Souvenir Shop; Ice Cream Shoppe. `653-4442 Open Daily Year Round 10 a.m. to 11 p. Including Holidays