HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 1979-12-27, Page 14PAGE 14-GODERICH SIGNAL -STAR, THURSDAY, DECEMBER 27, 1979
Ontario -made Christmas tree stand irks Goderich police chief
OPEN LE'PFER
The Manager,
Tree Stand Manufac-
turer,
City, Ontario.
Dear Sir:
I am not happy this pre -
festive season. Today,
following the Santa Claus
parade in Goderich my
wife, daughter and I went
out into the countryside
and purchased a spruce
tree to our liking.
I had wanted an ar-
tificial tree but my wife
wanted a real tree; so, we
compromised and I
bought one as it stood
majestically in the bush.
Dragging it back to our
car my daughter 'and I
sang, in rather a
Dickensian manner,
"bringing home the
Christmas tree"...even
though it was not actually
Christmas Eve. All was
well. The true spirit of
Christmas prevailed.
Rather than use • a
-bucket filled with rocks to
hold upright our tree as in
previous years, my wife
suggested that such an
,e Not yet
.s..
• from page 6
well-being. It will snap
when we come back from
behind the looking glass
and begin paying world
prices for oil. Mind you,
the release of the tension
and the return -to reality
is deeded to set Canada
on a solidly based pattern
of true economic growth.
Thus, 1980 may be a year
of hard times necessary
to get the economy on the
road to "steady im-
provem ent".
Further long term
straightening out of our
economic situation could
occur .. if Canada is
allowed to float to its own
viable economic level. In
this I am referring to the
(Financial Times, Nov. 5,
1979). Bouey's seeming
assumption that
Canada's economic
future is tied inseparably
to that of the United
States, the basis of his
monetary policy, is
totally false. Bouey
argues ---that-- if -interest
rates are lower than
those in the U.S., capital
will flow out of Canada
into the high -yielding
U.S. markets, thus
pushing down the
Canadian dollar, and
forcibly raising our in-
terest rates anyway due
to a squeeze on the funds
available to lend in
Canada. What Bouey
does not see is that this
phenomenon does not
always occur in such a
situation. Look at West
Germany. North
Americans are willing to
invest in it, despite in-
terest rates there much
lower than those in 11
Canada or the U.S. This
willingness is due to the
fact that the investors do
elegant tree would look
elegant tree look
better in a tree stand. Off
we went to the local store
to purchase same.
The first one we
examined looked frail so
we decided to get a more
expensive and sturdier
type; one that would last
for those proverbial
"years".
The box read
"Christmas Tree Stand.
Four legs for stability.
Large ring - stands any
tree!!
These words, though
not underlined on the box
indicated clearly that this
was the stand to buy:
"Stands any tree"
then surely, I thought, it
will' hold my spruce tree
and all of its three-inch
diameter, seven -foot high
trunk with its 36
protruding branches,
countless branchlets,
hundreds of leaflets (?)
and their thousands upon
thousands of needles
attached thereon.
We bought it! This was
our first mistake.
When I got the stand
home I attempted to get it
together. Rather a
not expect inflation to
erode their investment.
Canada has the
potential to be a "sound
currency" country, if we
would only let it. We have
a great many assets,
particularly in the area of
energy supply, and if our
economic policies, in-
cluding monetary policy,
were managed with more
sagacity, perhaps the
other countries in the
world would see that we
are substantially dif-
ferent from the U.S. Our
economy is naturally
more stable than that in
simple, elementary rhino
simple, elementary thing
according to the picture
on the box. I got three
legs on but, try. as I may,
the fourth one would not
fit.
Then, after several
very frustrating attempts
ended in failure I
discovered that the hole
in the leg, through which
the retaining screwbolt
goes had been drilled
about 15 mm too far down
and no attempt, rib
matter how Herculean,
was going to get the leg
bolted to the ring.
This was my second
mistake. I 'had bought
something proudly
stamped "Made in
Canada". This, I had
imagined was testimonial
enough to warrant a
purchase.
Not only was it made in
Canada but it was made
in Ontario. Double -good I
thought. "A place to
stand, etc." was per
Roberto ' Gimby.
"Ontario, hairy, airy, ..
Oh".
Mistakes can happen ...
so my wife went and got a
replacement. The ki7lid
man in the store even put
the second one together
for her to ensure n� ill -
drilled hole would stop
me this time. The, third
mistake was happening.
The four metal legs
looked like they could
hold the General Sher-
man sequoia, a gigantic
redwood or a mighty
Douglas fir. My spruce
tree shrank into in-
significant, Liliputian
dimensions:.
Despite this, and the
fact I had bought
Canadian, I knew that to
put too much eight on.
one leg while standing the
tree upright might, just
might, bend the leg..'
the LLS.�hut bytrying-to- My daughter, not the
rn y g young one whose clear,
treble tones had sang
with me _as we dragged
the tree in bush but her
older, larger sister, and I
very gently took the
weight of the tree and
stood it upright ... well,
not quite,
No. , Our tree was
leaning a bit so I checked
not through the monetarythropolicy presentf this the base. Low and behold,
despiteour efforts i he of
country' those four legs "for
+ + + stability" had actually
I think from all of this bent slightly
prop up the dollar
'unrealistically and keep
in lock -step with the U.S.
we have made it appear
more unstable. Thus,
confidence in it has
faltered and con-
sequently it has actually
become more unstable.
This can be undone, but
we can draw one major 'It was then the thought
conclusion about 1980. It crossed my mind - do the
will be a year of economic Ja anese make tree
discovery, as with the p
stands?
myriad factors affecting
the world -today, no one First the poorly -drilled
really knowfor sure hole, now the weak leg.
Still, why
what will happen. And legs were still stable.
worry?Three
that is not even taking
into account the Out came the tree. Out
possibility of the in- came my vicegrips and,
withtroduction of ,,an un- minut a couple of
foreseen force, a political minutes, I... had bent the
upheaval, the develop- leg into its ' original
meet of hydrogen as a configuration and, for
viable energy source, or added support, I bent he
any one of a thousand the two sides as per the'
things. So despite all the original specs Press on
analyses and forecasting regardless!
being done, there isreally With the bent leg now
only one sure thing we as strong as it was when
can do. Wait and see. it had been forged
(hopefully in some
JANUARY
Dresses
Hamilton area furnace) �
furnace) I
replaced the tree into the
stand. To maintain the
rigidity of the weakened
leg I added baling twine
around the four legs to
prevent them from
spreading apart. It would
help them "stand any
tree".
• Daughter and I then
again, gently, lifted our
tree upright - taking care
to take the weight off the
legs while doing so. With
the four legs on the rug
we lowered the trunk into
had not done its task - it
had slid up the legs
without retprding the
spreading aetion.
My spruce tree .... my
genuine/out-in-the bush
Christmas tree looked
rather much like one of
those punchbag toys
where the bottom is
rounded and sand -filled
so it always stays upright
after a push over. The
main difference was that
my tree did not spring
upright on its own and,
somehow, it did not look_
"....do the Japanese
make tree stands ?"
the bowl and pressed it
firmly onto the two
ret lining pikes fixed
there.
While daughter
steadying the tree I
tightened the four
retaining bolts. All
secure.
Then we let go of the
tree. Mistake number
four!
Immeidately our tree
fell over. We stood it up.
Released it and it began
to fall over again.
Checking the base I
saw that NOT ONE LEG
WAS BENT - not one
leg...but, ALL BLOODY
FOUR. Bent upwards like
'an inverted flower.
Those four legs, built
for stability to hold any
tree HAD ALL BENT.
Fven my hnlincr
twine
as majestic lying on its
side(?),.
The lights and
decorations would look
rather silly in such a
position and the topmost
star would look like a true
falleen star.
`Twas then my
frustrations caused me to
utter some choice old
English words of, I
believe Saxon ancestry,
plus a few remembered
Arabiar()urses - being
careful because of the
close proximity of my
daugher's ears.
However, I did'nt care.
Anyhow she'd probably
heard worse and read
them in "Catcher in the
Rye" and other similar
naughty books that until
recently were available
AS the "Vele Year begins, Join us in a
prayer lar sc./Tufty-and hope as the future
tintnlr ti. Our gratitude to you .tar
y(nrr taithfiil patronage,
' Shirley Kay, Robert and Bonnie Kay
Joanne Poelman, Elton'Draper,
Doug Jones
ecorc±in ±Jo
J
DRAPERIES PAINTS WALLCOVERINGS
Huron Street, Clinton 482-9542
Winter Coats
Mia. More Party Dresses
GREAT SAVINGS ON OUR JANUARY CLEARANCE
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Spo rtswear
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LADIES WEAR GODERICH
SCHAEFER S
ON THE SQUARE
in our school libraries
(sic). -
Out came the tree. The
stand was flung into the
corner to be returned to
the store for a refund. No
exchange this time. Once
bitten, twice shy was my
maxim.
So, our evening of
erecting the tree and
decorating same had not
been a great side-
splitting success. Not
because of lack of care on
our part. Back to the old
method. The bucket was
filled with rocks from the
garden. I paused to type
this letter while my anger
was extended and my
thoughts were Faustian. -
My wife stated that her
parents had had `‘much
larger trees and that they
always used a stand. I
remarked that that was
in the days when good
and, sufficient metals and
workmanship went into
things and, I ve ltured the
guess, her parent's stand
- the unbending and very
serviceable variety,
probably was not made in
dear old City, Ontario.
However, I suppose I
can be thankful for one
thing. As your box is
printed with the words -
Stands any tree - then, I
must assume, that
my spruce tree is just not
ANY tree. It is something
special!
Monday I'll take,it back
for refund. In future I'll
not buy your stuff. Do
yourself, and your
customers a favour: put
some good steel and pride
in your Christmas tree
stands. Then, perhaps,
your stand may just hold
a tree.
Merry Christmas - but
not with your stand.
To parody that well-
known television com-
mercial about a certain
ti,
tea "Made ' only in
Canada eh? (Bloody)
Pity"
Yours in good
"standing",
P.D. King
SAVE ENERGY
and
Insulate U.F. Foam
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15 years
COMPARE...CONTACT
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524-8821
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