The Goderich Signal-Star, 1979-12-13, Page 25c.i
This is the season of the party.
Whether it's a small house gathering,
a formal company affair with a bit of
turkey on the side or even an im-
promptu office gathering with a couple
of drinks and secretary probing -this is
the season to be jolly.
Certainly, before you've had a
chance to deck your hallstor check out
the effectiveness of the mistletoe, you
have been invited to 13 parties and 149
people, under the influence of the
Christmas Five Star, have' asked that
you drop into their place for a
refreshing beverage over the holidays.
The Christmas season tends to bring
people together like that.
But are all those parties becoming a
bore. Were they all so non-descript that
the memories are meshed together
with no party standing out as a classic.
That's understandable. Good cheer is
spread fairly thin over the holidays,
Do you want to bring some ex-
citement back to those parties, a tinge
of electricity, a certain nonchalance
and joie de vivre.
Well look no, further Canadian Club
breath.
This correspondent, for the first
time, will humbly offer his services at
your next gathering free of charge. And
only as a public service in the interest
of livening up your next get together.
Wow, what an incredible offe-,you
are saying to yourself. But what can
this guy do to make my party a
memorable event.
My list of entertaining antics is
almost endless.
For formal type affairs I can stand in
a corner and radiate boyish goodlooks,
flash the occasional winsome smile
that would melt stuffy guests and
charm the pants off...excuse me,
correct that to read -will add a char-
ming touch.
I can recite some of Knowlton Nash's
more memorable newscasts and speak
knowledeably about Joe Clark's
wardrobe.
Dull stuff you say.
Well, if yoga really want to let your
hair down, I can attend your next party
wearing only a lampshade and simply
mingle among the guests. What a great
time thils can be. Have all your guests
bring their own favorite lampshade.
This package also comes with free
whQopie , cushion and a fake nose,
glasses and mustouche disguise for the
host. Your friends will never forget a
party like that.
If your parties are putting guests to
sleep don't despair. For those par-
ticularly dull moments I have
something that is sure to bring your
guests to their feet. But this party
favorite is only a last resort for the
most despicable gathering.
When everyone is threatening to,
leave I will recite a medly of my hit
column. Watch in amazement as this
witty stuff dispenses much mirth and
merriment in a contagious fashion
among the guests.
Party goers are sure to slap their
knees or pound one another on the back
in fits of snickers. Or, surely, many will
be rolling on the floor, clutching their
stomachs in a rage of gut -wrenching
laughter. Others will have to hold back
the tears.
Already, I can see you giggling in
anticipation.
Maybe, through unfortunate cir-
cumstances, you have undesireable
and unwanted guests at your party. No
problem. take advantage of my rude,
crude and lewd package. >
Again, free of charge, I can rid your
house of unwanted ,atrons by belching
rudely in people's ears, pinching and
making lewd suggestions to many of
the ladies, chew a whole sandwich
while engaging in conversation, drop
ice cubes down the front of dresses or
spill drinks on fat ladies.
I mean, I like a good time, just like
the next guy.
Parade winners
Floats better than average •
The quality of the majority of the floats in this year's Santa Claus Parade, Gthed,
Goderich version, was extremely high according tb parade watchers along
the route.
As usual, Santa himself was the hit of the parade. But running close
seconds were the cast of characters in the parade who carried candy and
balloons to eager youngsters from the area. `
Prize winning parade entries were:
Schools, Vanastra Public School, first; Colborne Central School, second;
and Victoria Public School, third.
Commercial, Research and Development, first; Humpty Dumpty, second.
Youth, Goderich Municipal Day Nursery, first; Vanastra Guides, Scouts,
Cubs and Brownies, second; and 3rd Goderich Girl Guide Company, third.
Individuals, Christmas Misfits, first; Sesame Street, second; and Sherry
Lynn MacDonald, third.
Non -commerical, Goderich District Optimist Club, first; Vanastra and
District Lion, second; and Huron County Library, third.
The non-comm.er.cialclass was the ,largest, having 12 entries. Parade
judges agreed special mention should go to Goderich Performing Arts
Foundation for their gas saving livery bus and to Goderich Knights of
Columbus who depicted the Christian side of Christmas, including a live
donkey. ,
The theme for this year's parade was Christmas in the Year 2000.
IGNAL
STAR
132 YEAR -50
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 13, 1979
SECOND SECTION
School concert dates set
Christmas programs make a big comeback
Optimist's cast of characters firstin non-commercial
Vanastra PS students' float showed imagination and innovation
Ever read your horoscope? Better paragraph an astrologist can tell me possible just because they think I'm
yet do you ever pay any attention to the day will be one I will quickly want amusing or something.
your horoscope?. to forget or will,remember forever. The only distance I can think of
I make a habit of reading That's if I understand what it means. between me and anyone I know well is
newspapers and because of that I On most occasions the message is read some friends and relatives on the East
generally come across and read my and forgotten because there appears to Coast. I don't think I'll be able to get
horoscope. I don't read it with the in- be no way it can apply to me. down to see them today and besides I
tention of finding out what is going to For instance. Today my horoscope don't know if English language east
happen in my life on any given day but instructs me to publish, advertise, coast style qualifies as a language
rather to see if the : stars suggest bridge distance and language barriers. barrier.
something decent is going to come my Publish what, advertise what, bridge But if that portion of the message is
way or I should go bactt home and go to what distance and I don't know of any clouded the next sentence puts it all in
bed. language barriers causing me any perspective. I will perceive potential in
difficulty. clear, creative manner. I.
I don't understand and that's what
So how do I handle that message. If scares me , about horoscopes. Am I
someone asks me if I want- to go for a supposed to pay close attention to
coffee and I shoot back with Nescafe is every situation I find myself in to en -
the best going. sure that any potential that comes my
This column can't be what I'm way is not missed.
supposed to publish because this drivel I know what's going to happen if I do
will in no way make this day one to 'that. Ninety percent of what's said to
remember. me today will go unheeded and the one
reasons I can't accept. I don't know what to advertise for time I smell potential will be the time
except perhaps someone willing to pay the person is not even talking to me.
message. In one short me as much as possible to do as little as Instead of a once in a lifetime op -
I've yet to be convinced stars and
moons can control, or have anything to
do with my destiny.
But no sooner will I make that
statement than someone will phone or
write saying the stars and moons leave
nothing to chance. Everything I do is a
result of what is happening in the wild,
blue yonder.
One of the
astrology is that I can never un-
derstand the
BY
SHIRLEY J.KELLER
Hands up, those who
-..:.remember the ex-
citement that ac-
companied the annual
Christmas Concert at the
school when you were a
child..
Those were the days
when somebody's mother
washed the white bed
sheets that served as
curtains; when school
choruses were practised
over and over until they
were letter perfect; when
only the best singers got
to do solos and duets;
when recitations were
handed out to just about
everyone in the class;
and when chicken pox
and mumps 'broke out
.:. just about the same night
as the concert was due to
,take place..
There was always a
play - a comedy of course
- with ' the biggest kids
dressed up as mom and
dad and the shortest kids
drawing the parts of
children. Most times, it
was the student's first
and only experience at
drama, and it was quite a
thrill to he selected for
this annual theatrical
venture.
And after the last carol
was sung under properly
dimmed lighting, Santa's
sleigh bells were heard on
the school yard. Within
seconds, the old gen-
tleman himself was
striding down the school
aisles, pinching the
ladies, shaking hands
with the men, and kissing
the babies:
Then the school
children would wait with
wide eyes until Santa
called their names. The
gifts were always from
other classmates who had
drawn names earlier in
December, but it was
absolutely mandatory to
receive the gift, from
Santa's own hand.
Just before Santa left
the school, one of the
trustees would explain to
Santa that there was a
bag of candy for each and
every child in at-
tendance. Almost im-
mediately, the line "would
form and Santa would be
kept busy for another few
minutes handing out the
packets and trying to
elicit conversation from
unwilling toddlers.
For a while, school
Christmas Concerts were
unpopular. Children who
attended school in -the
sixties and early
seventies often didn't I
have much of an op-
portunity at Christmas to
display their talents.
Practising for school
concerts was considered
a waste of time by some
educators and although
mothers and fathers from
time to time complained
about how much they
missed seeing their
children- perform at
Christmas time, the
concerts remained passe.
In the last few years,
though, the Christmas
Concert has 'made a
comeback. This year,,,
every school in The
Goderich Signal -Star
readership area is having
a concert. Of.course, the
public is cordially invited
to all of them.
The Goderich public
schools are breaking up
their concerts into three
mini -concerts each. It's a
good idea, too, because it
provides more 'children
with the opportunity to
get some stage ex-
perience.
At Robertson Memorial
School, there is a per-
formance at 2:40 pm on
Tuesday, December.-' 18;
at 7 pm Wednesday,'
December 19; and at 2:40
pm on " Thursday,
December 20.
At Victoria Public'
School-, the children will
be .entertaining at 9 am
Friday, December 14; at
1:30 pm Monday,
December 17; and at 1 :30
pm Tuesday, December
Turn to page 2A •
This youngster' wasn't-- : taken aback by Donald Duck to refuse a candy from the
Famous cartoon character. Donald followed the route of the Goderich Santa Claus
parade Saturday offering candies to children that braved the cold awaiting the
arrival of Santa himself. (photo by Jeff Seddon)
portunity I'll probably end up with my
foot in my mouth.
And then there's the cruncher. Today
'a scenario will bring teaching, learning
processes into focus.
That's almost enough to make one
panic.
How am I going to know what the
scenario is and when it unfolds. •
I've been out of bed a couple of hours
now and still no scenario. Not that
time's running out but with the day I've
got ahead of me there could me several
scenarios.
Which one is the right one.
What little faith I had in horoscopes
vanished this morning. I figured for
sure the stars would suggest I go out
and fill the gas tank of my car up
tomorrow.
Nothing doing. Tomorrow a family
member who was an adversary is
going to lay some plaudits on me.
Unfortunately there's no one in my
family I'm at odds with. I'm not even
aware of any adversaries.
jeFF
Seddon