HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 1979-08-02, Page 17dave
syks
/
I am rather desparate. 1 Am I boring? Is my life so dull that
To be honest, the summer and this nothing of a humerous nature crosses
weekly toil, is beginning to take its toll. -my path at frequent intervals and
I am wilting. � warrants a spicy column of 700 words.
• In fact this offering is likely to be The evidence would substantiate
punctuated and inundated with those claims.
meaningless gab indicating I am going Where are the humerous anecdotes
about my wgrk with an air of that comedians. consistently run into on
desperation. This morning frustration, a daily basis. You know the guys who
is more to the point. , always have the cute stories about
Wit, humour, stimulating copy and seemingly routine things.
lines that , provoke gut -wrenching A funny thing happened when I was
laughter or at least a half-hearted slap driving to work the other day or,
on the knee are not at my command. yesterday I was walking to the grocery
Not that I am so bold to suggest that store when I met this naked lady.
previous works have contained same I have no such stories,
stimuli, but my mind .has reached Why couldn't I go home and discover
unknown depths of despair. the dog had chewed. my best boxer
In preparing this weekly offering for shorts, or that the little woman
almost two and a half years, ideas, or whipped up a gourmet delight that
reasonable facsimilies have been at my could successfully be marketed as a
command on a moments notice. driveway sealer or hockey pucks.
But not today. Where are the endearing yarns about
So the predicament led to some self children who hold centipede races in
evaluation. the bed or use mother's best pair of
Charlie Young celebrated his 97th birthday last Wednesday with a gathering
of friends and relatives at his Maple Grove Lodge residence on Nelson Street
here. He said he only felt "a bit older." (Photo by Joanne Buchanan)
He doesn't feel older
BY JOANNE •
BUCHANAN
Friends and relatives
gathered at Maple Grove
Lodge on Nelson Street in
Goderich last Wednesday
to help Charlie Young
celebrate his 97th bir-
thday with tea and bir-
thday cake.
Mr. Young was born on
July 25, 1882 in Colborne
Township to Mr. and Mrs.
William Young. ____He
worked—on —nth parents'
farm until he, was 18 and
then went to Chicago
s
where he spent a year
delivering groceries. He
then moved back to this
area, settling in Goderich
where he worked at the
Purity Flour Mill.
In 1903 Mr. Young
married Frederica
Walters. They celebrated
their 73rd wedding an-
niversary before she
passed away two years
ago. They had no
children.
Goderich for many years.
He has seen many
changes in his life' time,
some good and some bad,
he said.
He has no special ad-
vice for people who want
to live to be his age. He
claims he's never given
himself any "special
treatment" for longevity.
Mr. Young said he only
felt a "little bit older"
.1141r-.— . Young _•naeved---to.._•-East Wednesday:.Afteial
Maple Grove Lodge about turning 97 is not much
a year ago after living on different than turning 87
Victoria Street in or 77, he said.
tderich
132 YEAR -31
queen size panty hose to strain Weir
mud pies or house their latest bug
collection.
Understandibly readers look to a
columnist for such real life experiences
with a touch of ornamentation.
No such luck.
Must I admit to being the type of guy
whu wears his own lampshade to a
party but sits in a corner all evening
without being noticed. Perhaps a
change in lampshades would help my
plight. ,
But let me confess that being boring
is not a great.deal of fun.
Now 1 know what you're thinking.
You're saying, Dave Sykes where do
you find time to be boring and dull•? ,
Weil in between growing rare weed
species on my front lawn and collecting
neighbourhood children, it's not that
difficult.
But as a dull person I. find that
nobody laughs at the punch line of my
best joke while I roll on the floor in fits
of laughter. Groups engaged in
stimulating conversation invariably
disperse as I approach and ladies
whose companionship you seek spend a
great deal of time washing their hair.
Such is the life a bore.
Dogs prefer my car tires to trees or
bushes and the sign on my parking spot
at work reads,: Temporary Help.
Even my mother would hint to others
that my stay at home was only tem-
porary. and I was encouraged to seek
employment from the age of 12.
It does little for one's confidence:
So .following the self-evaluation
exercise I must make a vow to,shed this
boring image and dull personality.
I have already considered buying a
new lampshade in case you were
considering inviting me to your next
party. (hint)
And who knows, maybe I will meet a
naked lady on the way to work
tomorrow.
SIGNAL
THURSDAY, AUGUST 2, 1979
STA
SECOND SECTION
About 6.6Hkids have benefited
SES makes camp a reality
BY JOANNE
BUCHANAN
A lot of children, who
might not have had the
chance otherwise, are
going on Damping trips
and fun outings this
summer thanks to an
. Experience '79 'program
called FACES (Family
and Children's Excursion
Services).
The program, which is
under the auspices of
Huron County's Family
and Children's Services,
is being conducted by
Rosemary Foran,
Margaret Foran, Pauline
Hall• and about 20
volunteers from several.
different towns.
The program is divided
into three parts.
Rosemary makes
arrangements for
children to attend
organized camps in the
area; Margaret conducts
day camps or outings;
and Pauline takes
• children on • overnight
camping trips.
Most of the children
participating in the
FACES program are
foster children or clients
of Family and Children's
Services. But the
program is open to 'any
children who want to
participate. Children
going on overnight
camping trips range in
•age from five to 1-5. but
some of those par-
ticipating. in day camps
are as young as two and
three.
There are several ideas
behind the program,
explains Margaret. It
gives parents a break
front, their children and
vice versa. It provides
children with., fun. And it
gives `many _children_-..,
opportunities •to do things„
they might not otherwise
get the chance to do.
About 66 children have
attended three different
organized camps so far
this summer. Parents
pay whatever they can
toward camp costs and
Family and Children's
Services subsidizes the
rest. The agency is able
to this because of
generous donations made
to it by the public.
About '15 children are
signed up for each of five
different day camps.
Each day of the week
Margaret travels to
Clinton, Seaforth,
Wingham, Huron Park or
Goderich Where ,she takes
the kids on the program
in those communities to
the beach,' a park, a
museum or some other
type of place. Sometimes
she just plays games with
them or teaches them
arts and crafts.
Margaret, who just
graduated from Grade 13
at G.D.C.I. and plans to
go into nursing at Fan-
shawe College in the fall,
saysthe program has
been really good ex-
perience for her.
The overnight cam -
pouts average about 12
children each time and
besides Pauline • there are
usually five volunteers on
each one. Each volunteer
has been required to take
a special training
Turn to page 2A •
.FA C.ES_.(Ea.milyand Child ren's.E.xcursion.Servlcees.).is. prov.iding__
the opportuni-tyformany children in I-i[uron County to go camping
arid on other fun outings this sunimer. Back row, left to right, are
Margaret and Rosemary Foran, two organizers of the program
and volunteers Denise Maize, Kim Black, Patsy Keller, Lori
McPhee :a and Audrey Beacom -En-front are'same partiriparrts.irr-
the program. The van was loaned to the program from Jim
Hayter Chev-Olds Limlted for transportation to and from
camping sites. (Photo by Joanne Buchanan)
I'm sitting here a mere 10 feet away
from my buddy Spike (he's the guy at
the top of the page with the seagull on
his elbow) and we've got eight minutes
to get our columns out. I-Ie's starting to
break out in a sweat and I can't help
him out. -
His problem is simple. He can't think
of a thing to write.pbout and he now has
seven minutes to write it. I'd like to,
offer him several novel ideas he can
string into a column but I'm unable to
do that. That's because I'm listening
intently for his response to a question I
just asked. I asked him what I can
write my column about.
Spike is starting to get bitter about
his dilemna. He knows his column
takes roughly 3,500 characters and he's
come up with about 200. He is note
thinking of filling in the middle with
garbage and wrapping it up, with a
snappy closing. I better help I
"WO yb don't you write abo t those two
seagulls you < spotted on he way to
work?" I ask.
• When I pulled in the parking lot Spike
was just climbing out of his car and told
me today was' a sad day in his olife.
Apparently on the way to work he came
across two seagulls that had come
away on the bad side of an.arguement
with a car.
He offered me the classic response of
a columnist that is dry.
"Naw I can't make the death of two
seagulls funny. I just can't find any
humour in it."
That's the crux of the problem, When
you don't think your funny and you
have to write something that is sup-
posed to be funny you die. You do what
Spike just did. You slumps your
shoulders over your keyboard, let out a
long sigh, stand up and dig into your
pocket for some change and head for
the coffee machine.
What's compounding Spike's
problem is that I'm busy pumping out ,
this trash and he think's I've solved my .
problem. He's still pressing for
something to say and he's now four
minutes late. As he wracks his brain
for an idea he glances my way and
see's me hammering away on the
keyboard. He figures I'm in the process
of filling my space with a few laughs
and his frustration mounts..
Little does he know that his situation
is what is keeping me busy.
I know it's not nice to take someone
else's misfortune and turn it into your
own fortune but you've got to'look out
for number one.
For those of -you that read these two
literary delights on a semi regular
basis there's a message in all this.
Spike and I are going through your
basic trauma. We're trying :hard to
entertain you and we're doing a lousy
job.'
If you have an ounce of compassion
in you you'll realize that nd give us a
break. We didn't want to ore you with
what we did or are going to do on our
•
summer vacation. We really wanted to
give you that laugh you needed when
you started reading but we're fresh out
of laughs.
When I started this thing I really
didn't think I'd be able to flog it enough
to fill this space and I was right. So I'll
just keep boring you •for another few
paragraphs and hope that.by next week
my slump will have ended.
Spike appears to be welt on his way to
getting the job done. I snuck a peek at
his piece and see that he decided` to
bare his soul and tell his readers he's
fresh out of anecdotes.
He's going to pound out 3,500
characters detailing some of his
inadequacies and tell me he hates
doing what he just did. He'll add that
he's glad his column is done and all he
wants to do is forget it.
I'll agree and won't mention columns
agains until next week when I ask him
what I can write about.
Enjoyed your column Spike.
ti
jeFf -- -
seddan