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The Goderich Signal-Star, 1979-01-18, Page 19r - Some guys in life are destined to be what can best be described, as loser- s.The kind of guys that just 17'ave things go from bad to worse. It doesn't seem to matter to these guys how bad things get, something happens in their lives that makes them worse. The other day I was having coffee with a bunch of friends and the con- versation rolled around to the funny little things in life that never seem to happen to anyone you know. The little human interest things that involve some poor slob somewhere and you can laugh at the poor guy but you never - want anything like that to happen to you. Somebody told a story about a couple that were taking a vacatioh in China and had taken their dog along with them. Apparently it was one of those dogs that rich widows have in the movies. The kind that gets pampered and is treated more like a child than a illommommeimelmolommlow 4;r dave sykes • Inside: Have yety ever dreamed of winning big bucks in the lottery Making that dream -come -true ride to Toronto,sauntering into the lottery offices and flashing a winning timet before the officials -eyes and walking out with a cheque for $1 million. Has the thought ever crossed your mind as you doled otit $5 or $10 for a ticket. Sure it has I think,to be honest, that the numerous lotteries now on the go have made hopeless romantic dreamers out of the thousands of Canadians who play the lotteries for that one shot at,, security. .1k6 Most lotteries are now at least three years old and Lotto Canada officials recently commissioned a team of sociologists to study the lives of millionaire winners and the effect the windfall had on them. Now if you won that big prize it's easy to picture yourself lazing on Jack Riddell ..... .... Page 2A Awareness Day Page 3A Captain Comet . page 4A Entertainment • Page 5A • Church page Page 8A W.E. Elliott feature ...... Page 9A • Farm news • Page 11A More than a woman driver! glistening white sands amid the palm trees as the warm,tropical waters lap at your feet. And of course there would be a refreshing beverage or two just to tone down the thirst a little. The scenario spells security,a life without worries. Well the sociologists found that the average lottery millionaire winner is a 51 -year old, English Canadian with a grade 10 education. And with those few extra•bucks the average winner gets an • urge to bily •a nevy Chev or Ford, nothing flashor ostentatious. And with all„that extra cash four out of five new millionaires quit their job and increased •their daily television consumption on the new colour set. And what do the do with their money while they watch tv Most of them just dumped it in the bank and that was all the security they needed. Now really there has got to be more excitement to being a millionaire than the -ode-nal buying a new Chev, and watching television'all day while the money sits idle in the bank. So should you happen to win a bit of, cash in a lottery it 'would be helpful on I my part to offer some wild and crazy suggestions on how to dispose off that income while having a good time. , Just for fun enroll several of your friends in a Polish speaking class,enlist them in a home study aircraft mechanics course from the back of a matchbook cover or write numerous suggestive paragraphs about several close associates and have it inserted in the companiOns wanted column of a newspaper. If you want to drive your neighbours wild with envy install electric driveways and walks at your place eliminating the need for shovelling even during the fiercest storms during the winter. Should you happen to win a big lot- tery prize do not quit your job. Rather, limit your work activities to calculating your bank and investment interest, reciting several large figures out loud for other office cohorts to hear. Occassionaly ask another employee to recheck your figures for accuracy. In a few days fellow office workers should be reduced to wimpering idiots. If your friends are up to their wallets in mortgage and car payments phone them up and blabber, enthusiastically about the great bargain you found on an around the 'world cruis.e; Explain that you•realized they wouldn't -want to pass, up the $50;000 bargain. Never carry loose change in your pocket and always borrow a quarter for coffee explaining to fellow workers that the machine won't accept $100 bills. My list of fun things goes on but realistically I don't think there will ever be a chance to use them. SIGNAL • 132 YEAR -3 THURSDAY, JANUARY 18, 1979 SECOND SECTION She's a driving instructor Mrs. Tolchai d heard through 'word of mouth that the high school was looking for a private driving instructor and when she expressed some interest, school officials pretty easy job just sit- her fault. She was Ideally, says • Mrs. BY JOANNE BUCHANAN' ting there all day," , literally shoved off the Tolchard, she would like laughs Mrs. Tolchard, road- by another vehicle. students to spend half 'Women drivers are "but there aren't many When she is inyolved in their time driving in the often the brunt of male who can do it." an accident, she doesn't summer and half in the jokes and sarcastic She says she knows of react in the same fashion winter but the Driver's remarks. But Mrs.Donna many people whb think it as most people,she says. Education course is not Tolcharcl of Garter -kb_ -is • came to her. will be a slack job and .Instead of getting upset, set up in such-a,WaY-thie - czica‘kZk!1\.. "I• .olgtAv Iwo" not only a woman driver,she is also a • driving instructor. She feels that those women driver jokes are '-outdated and after nine "years of teaching driving, ,both through the high - school and privately, she says female students are no worse than male student s. "It doesn't make a bit • of difference," she says. "Although more girls •haven't had the op- portunity to do as much • driving before they take lessons, they seem to pick . it up faster." Another trend that Mrs.. Tolchard has noticed as a driving instructor is that • " girls tend ti5" be cautious drivers as teenagers but get more reckless when they reach their twenties. Teenage boys .on the other hand tend to be reckless drivers but settle right down. when they get older. "Older men are by 'far the 'most • courteous drivers on the- road," claims Mrs. Tolchard. ' Driver's Education, a Department of Transport course, was taught by • regular high school teachers once upon a time. But at the end of a • long day of regular qasses,the extra • curricular drivingcourSe was placing too much work on the teachers so the school board began to look for private'. persons to teach the course in- stead: "They were take the course to fast • she gets furious ° at the this can be accomplished. only two or three weeks guy who is in the wrong. The biggest "hang-up" as instructors. Mrs. Tolchard always of her students is parallel "If you're inclined to be teaches her students to parking., says Mrs. desperate," she laughs. "I didn't know if the school board would ac- cept a woman instrikTor or not but they didn't hesitate a bit." The fact. remains though, she says, that there are still a lot more male driving instructors around than female in- structors. Female in- structors are becoming More common all the time and in fact, female students seem to prefer female instructors. Mrs. Tolchard feels that the reason for this is that male instructors tend to remind women of their husbands who often yell at them if they are trying to give them lessons. SAFETY LEAGUE GRADUATE Mrs. Tolchard,before being able to give driving instruction at the high school, had to take a two week course- in Toronto sponsored by the Ontario Safety League. "I was petrified," she admits. The course involved a lot of book work and teaching methods. Mrs. Tolchard's driving was evaluated and she was given many tips on how to teach. • "You really don't learn what it's all about until you're on your own though. It's a learning on the job experience," she •says. "People think it's a nervous, you can't -teach .dr i V,e de f e ns ively Tolchard.. Also Most ,of people to, drive. That's because one never knows - •the students have a why there's a shortage of what the other perSon on tendency to drive too slow driving teachers," she the road will do. • She even though they may bd." says. •says it really bothers her driving well. Others have Mrs. Tolchard admits when she is trying to a tendency to go too fast '. that sometimes her teach her students how to but thisis usually just a "insides turn over" when drive properly and then she sees an accident some other driver on the corning but she keepsher, road will do something emotions in check. obviously wrong right in "People say to me,`You front of them. ' must have nerves of Driving, around the steel', but it's just a Square is especially matter • of not getting confusing for the new flustered. It's like a built- in calmness," she says. Cartoons often portray harassed driving in- structors tearing out their hair because some silly students (usually women) have just run into a fire hydrant or police • cruiser or something equally stupid. "My students often bring these cartoons into me when they see them, - says Mrs. Tolchard. • But, she says, in real life, being a driving in- structor, is not that bad. In the cities, instructors probably have more problemA and accidents, she speculates., but not in a small town like Goderich. In fact, she says, she has never had an accident in her nine years of teaching where the student driver has, been at fault. Mrs. Tolchard herself was involved in an ac- cident once but it wasn't nervous reaction. "Once I can talk to the students --and get thein relaxed, they do okaY," says Mrs. Tolchard. She says that most of the students seem to feel that she can prevent driver since -there are no them from having' an par..icular - lanes for • accident. Perhaps the anyone to stay in, says reason for this is because Mrs. Tolchard. • Others she has a brake at her have a tendency to cut the sla-6-dr the car.. ' new driver off in this "Some of the boys Situation. She finds that a accuse me of riding the brake all the time," she lot of people back out from angle parking spots on the Square without even looking too. The majority of ac- cidents involve human failure and only rarely is mechanical failure _ _to blame, says Mrs. Tolchard. There is no The car Mrs. Tolchard need for most accidents, uses is provided by Jim she feels. She thinks that Hayter Chev-Olds Ltd. It one of the major causes of has a sign on top to ex - car accidents is inat- plain to other motorists tendon. Not adapting to that a student driver is at weather conditions is ' the wheel. • - another big cause ,ar•id "The car is sort of like this can 'happen to even a grant -and the school the most experienced • pays for gas and in - drivers. surance," she explains. Those students who - • MATURITY NEEDED laughs, "but I really don't." She has found that most people don't use four way stops properly though and she uses her brake at stop signs when she has to. learn to drive in the winter also learn, to ad- just better to adverse weather conditions. Mrs. • Tolchard _ feels that it is a lot tougher to Turn to page 6A • :431 ttf2"., • • • 0 • • ••,is4 4; 1 = Being a driving instructor in a small town isn't so bad, says Mrs. Donna Tolchard of Goderich. In fact, she says, she has never had an accident where the student driver has been at fault. She has been teaching through the Driver's Education program .—„latkottOs at the high school and privately in the stammers for nine years now. If you're inclined to be nervous,you can't teach others to drive, she says. (Photo by Joanne Buchanan) • pet. It seems in China dogs are dogs and as such they are fit to eat. So when these tourists tied their dog up in front of a store to go in and do some shopping some street urchin; not believing his good fortune, took the dog home for supper. Before the poor people could find poor Fido he was in a pot with some vegetables. Another tale related. the story of a couple whose marriage was on the rock Y road and the young bride was having tremendous difficulty dealing with the break-up. One arguement too many and the woman. decided to end it all. After her husband left in a fit of rage the woman flung open the window of her apartment and jumped out. Hubby meanwhile was just leaving the building when his wife came down. She landed square on top of him in the true spirit of marriage, sharing everything equally. While those tales tire bizarre they ate somewhat saddening. The kind I like are thekind that have no sad ending. One of my favorites was the poor guy that had his worst hdur when he should have been having 'one of his finest hours. It seems this guy was answering a- call of nature when he met his fate. He *as relaxing in his bathroom, some things in life just can't be rushed, when his life took a strange turn. Just before our friend was settling himself on the throne a gas -line had broken somewhere.beneath the streets of his subdivision. The • gas was somehow mixing with the water and the result was a fairly- explosive solution. This poor guy was about to find out' just how explosive. To pass the time he decided to have a cigarette and after lighting tip he drops the matth into the toilet to extinguish it. BOOM. It was several hours later before doctors could calm the guy down by' assuring him that it was a gas explosiIcn in the toilet not in his body that catsed him the minor injuries, My award award for the loser of all time has to go to the guy that is a home han- dyman and faithfully obeys those Workmen's Compensation com- mercials about safety. The guy is doing some repairs to the roof of his house and doesn't want to work without a net. To prevent a serious fail he ties a long rope around his waist and secures it to the bumper of his car. No sooner does he get up on the roof than his wife merrily waltzes out of the house, jumps in the cat, and goes shopping. The guy came off the roof in 19 foot strides. His". wife couldn't hear his screaming but he did attract the at- tention of a neighbor who managed to sigancalrt.he woman and get her to stop the Amazingly enough the guy wasn't hurt, just shaken up. But you can bet the next time he works on his roof he will tie himself off to a tree or something his wife can't take shopping. (4, jeff seddon 4••