HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 1978-09-28, Page 39Captain
Comet. , .
• from page 17A
(Anthony (Tony)
Ferkembaker), may be
the handsomest man you
ever saw but out. of all the
tests, survey and
researches done we have
found that Tony has an
I_Q. of .380.
This does not mean that
he will be taken off of the
air. It just means he will
not be given anything too
hard to do. Such as:
walking a dog, making
lunch, writing a letter,
etc., etc. Also, we have
found out that he dropped
out of school at age of 7
and is still living with his
parents at the age of 28.
We also know that he is
bald on the right side of
his head and thought
cottage cheese was ac-
tually made of cottages.
And for a month he didn't
take a bath to see if
potatoes really can grow
behind your ears!
;So remember, -Anihony
may be beautiful but
under all that hunk of a
guy he's a homely, stupid
Sesame Street Fan.
BARB HALL
This is a story about an
operation on Dracula who
flew into a hydro pole
while in his bat form.
Back at 13 Horror
Road, Transylvannia
Dracula was on the
operating table with a
temperature of 212
degrees C. Master and his
bumbling assistant Igor
are trying to remove a
malignant wire, wrapped
around his fond fangs.
"Igor pass me the
electric saw," Master
said tensely.
"Yes, Master," Igor
replied, tripping over a
dirty magazine he was
reading.
They had the large
parts of the wire off and
Master was using the
sander (giving them a
good cleaning, of course)
when Wolfie-Baby
walked in. He let out a
howl and . set to work,
looking at Igor's
magazine: There was a
fight and the magazine
was ruined.
Master Von Slick was
now completing the
operation . by- varnishing
Drac's teeth.
Wolfie-Baby howled,
"Bring' down his temp.,
Boss!"
"Right o," Master said,
trying to sound cool.
Master's ingenious
method for bringing down
temperatures was
slapping the person's
face with icy -cold orange
slabs.
Drac woke up on the
15th day and everyone let
out a shout of glee.
So, the moral is "Never
fight over a dirty
magazine."
JOHN PETERS
The wasp population of
Ontario this year has
close to tripled. For
visitors into Ontario it
has been a very stinging
event. The wasps tend to
live in cottages and
garbage pails. "The little
wretches attack you in
your sleep," says Al
McDonald of Michigan.
"You can be sleepin' a'nd
in the mornin' you got bee
stings all over your
body."
I recently had an in-
terview with a wasp and
this is what he said, "All
our lives we've been
swatted to death, sat on
and many other cruel
tortures. Not until our
scientist at Bees and
Wasps of Ontario
developed our heavy duty
stinger were we able to
defend ourselves." Right
now the Prime Minister
of Canada is trying to
negotiate with King
Waspenside so that
cottages and garbage
cans can be released.
An M.P. Official says
that the two leaders have
retired for the day. Other
officials say the Bees and
Wasps Society plans to
take over Canada. They
say they can't make the
country any more worse
that it already is. Canada
says though, that she
won't give up.
This morning I had an
interview with a
Canadian Scientist. He
says, "The over-
population will end before
next summer and wasps
will
e be back in their
place."
So there it is folks the
War of the Wasps will end
very soon.
THE GODERICH SIGN.lI,,1f;.-STARAY: SE M$ER 28.1078—$AGF 22A.
SPECIAL PRICES IN EFFECT
WED. 9 A.M. SEPT. 27 TILL CLOSING
TUESD4IL.L>GT013E #-3., 1.+9-#8.
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OVEN-READY UTILITY GRADE
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A SPECIAL TREAT 1 Ib.
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• - PASTRAMI.. OR
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7 POPULAR VARIETIES ALLENS F WHITE- YELLOW- DECORATED- GREEN
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TRAC 11
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AVAILABLE ONLY IN ZEHRS "COUNTRYOVEN" STORES.
FRESH CHERRY OR
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69°
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PRODUCEr OF CALIFORNIA
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SCHNEIDERS CHEDDAR 12 oz.
KEN FROZEN 12.5 oz.
ORANGE JUICE 59c
GAY LEA SWISS STYLE
■ OGURT 500 g.
69 c'
BATHROOM TISSUE ONTARIO NO. 1 MILD _ ONTARIO NO. 1
$ SPANISH ONIONS _ Ib. _ 250 SWEET PARSNIPS
CQ'iJONELLE 4 ROLL1 ■09
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ICE MILK 2 LITRE '1.79
THIS SPE IAL IN ZEHRS MARKETS OFFERING DELICATESSEN COUNTERS.-
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2i8P JUMBO SUMMER SAUSAGE
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DIETRICHS ROLLS
$1
79c . PKGS. OF 10
REG. 60' EA. R
690 SCHNEIDERS CHEESE
MEDIUM
12 oz. $1.59 ■.59
$2 SCHNEIDERS COLOURED OR WHITE a®�
®9 OLD CHEESE 12 oz. X1.59
HWY. NO. 8 OUR MANAGER IS:
LD
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11