HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 1978-08-24, Page 19•
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ptain Comet
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SiT;EteViihele eat the trehtes of For
flaworthe weelkite tie tegetettes ai rather
intrigteling alumnae ie suttee, run
eseteriemee in the &nese
t
w
Mae
•teif ttlittegi trirallee@
wvtta illaaaraRtege iq
VW65.111at' t the mere wink mann air
Mieneeerneassiem for heatealish
i s �, ex situate
th the atattetAltintit WraIS amble. tame able first
f Bun slime the thee th et spate
was etteenvet flateaaSitwell-Star
Me write a rust hunt a*�,�y�,n,,�tt of the11"'•414 t1"� ,, may. tri7i inns v
ete
hileow 11 Ia.:ut trelehtnntitt agreed tt(j @Meer
tans tote flee i, ra;t ;eareeses Fitt as
IIS tweeild iii este nt.. II wanshnetted ottli rte
Cisme Rettentatow Mr as tem, week sriiimt
:1510y4t Y4.t
end hatlitedinfeit theengegenQent.
Klatt the lett that II was ariginally
#331raliagd tm trihalefected t0 the seri
oIFeigenhaS Eft aokall> snwr
as tilt bike a date 'ata the drive-in„ iitiekedi
' mind into thoughts aebautt aa>iy
trPAOq,t�• EL
S
There fame newer leen aare read
teeming doubts afnnt tarsi—eat
lentaltahongh my, ph}ysieaII stature
is '
sll . c - the
. s side e• cw petiteas II peer to Lette ' tet h. B 0 :: q0 at ttie
situate:Itt .. :aYYit*:. 044 „ Irma clow fright'
Nat then it bathers me a great deal.
tehOugs1 �'..avi Il frrrde'believe�}�that
m hla kame h 00: tp.. nkeep in shape
easter than Qherrs whrn are tkii boned,.
seenaxe hate
Rut Lust like the consci tious
d tterrs,. wtxx will tare any scheme
inn an efffart to shed a few ainuwanted
pounds,11 would desperately love to add
a few inches is the weistlinet belga,
hest or just about anywhere they
--wear6e wilting to attad..themae ves
toz ny brzdt v
En fast orae of mfr favorite fantasies is
entitled bazrae from: work„ relaxing in a
reclining position in front of the '
televielo to set quaffing a few cans of
brew: and emitting the occasional
thunderous belch while my stomach
ripples rii a ace accordion over my belt.
Right now Il am hard pressed •ta find a
ripe_ Hones I can easily find, but'Etino ,
&nue people cannot eat, drink or
evert inhale anything without out adding on
a few extra pounds. My situation is the
extreme_ Il can drink till I'm dizzy, eat
fattening desserts and gorge myself on
five meats a day. Nothing. Maybe a
ha,1'f pound if Ilio lucky.
Now ally situation is jut.: as
distressing as others what are COM -
mined to a life of dieting. Wait., till
you're 'older, friends caution, then you
wig really pack an the old pounds.
While being skinny may have its
advantages; there are definite
disadvantages that can be easily
overlooked by the dieter. For instance.
an school burly boys of a pugilistic .
nature took a fancy to beating on nay
bones just because I was skinny. And in
high school it was such fun getting
met med into lockers, just f a ' , or
'old standard of getting satiiiled
in your face at the beach.
Itt never happened but I like to keep
a -watchful eye on passing feet when in
a prone position at the beach. Just in
case.
Oh Well. I think I'll go home and stuff
myself.
Dog Show P. ''d i,4 3A
.®®mPa,aa:47A
P
P 9A
Tev:. .
Anniversaries .........
Gardening . . .
Kim ey ..... a .. . .
Farm news ..
Fitness t
BY JIM HAGARTY
The last ' titre 1 took a
fitness test was 27 years
ago when a kindly doctor
slapped me on the bare
bottom and declared
above niy first-ever
screams, "It's alivel"
T.a-Qt Thursday, I ula-
derwent my second
physical fitness
examination courtesy of
the ministry sof culture
and recreation's- fitness
van and the diagnosis of
the tester was the same
as- ray est one: 'It's
alive," gasped Jeff
Stapleton as he motioned
for the other testers to
come have a peek at what
he obviously thought was
one sof the wvontt3Jr of the
Now I w tzliet mealy
say ran out of Daae,, but II
am the (telly persoanII
1 onv who .gam wvi ndet
eetimie suppeet And smelly
there are y t0 -.0.01e aWiratI�i9,
have less st1 - n r' iia len thee'
arm Muscles them 11 have,
bat Chow tmene have
tremble 1o1 3.,71n inn their
teeth " m the tuaraing
without shifts—hg the h
three or fear times beim
tbear left hand flo their
fright and hack agaamt`)
I
tried to get eint of eras.
assiitgmaament, II meetly did
Bet may pll- _ oinn a with
the editor ahnmtt n y
danger 0 o6.1! •+ Weak heart
fell on extretnely un -
0
- STA
IFIEAR-3341
IIIIIRSDA.Y, AUGUST 24, 1978,
SECOND SECTION
symapattbretir mus mei
.Thattsheyeratioat.11_` off
tto the Vt a Ch1
/trena Skate dressed
imm
minty and
denim tenteafee
A bre
flittness test to a chtonin
p the ileac
tete )flee tri n yf;^::01 min bateautt
as does the sight off brats tot
a&lietit11hein;d hearth
Maybe tib t"s why the
flit gel fir atmil
shape l mem se_
Aikawww, le ere II was.
. ,tta+a face With a
smite yanteng Greek
and three goddesses
wales go at ,gam itt
iis tto tell teed - the tenth
mitt the rte sttatte of ter
health.
ntni^
•;-tort;
IIt wvoxniIldim" t home leen a
there weren't m'tt Tomes tat fiiidll
oat and sante enough>, they
were t etre_, 11 chteklh'
ever as stemmenet
II was •:et t.01 too sib.. Wet iia
anal faun n c+ t fare testers
a It ethellestm e®set ttm
drag me bank tette time
gym after rail tri the
part admit waiting aalld
Dinh eel 1151 t„, et as ttrE
persamell iieejuame qtr dent n
teething i ntem the tit..
""lateattba!!," II yelled..
mean
II"dd
,arm ameett anetit
foe a SIERTlfkmt cQluYaikie d
wont.
Stagradetc,nma tried to
teasett with home_ He said
t
oat he three
oik nrtac.oi
It0)01::
hill
in :•
01:00
11
Fitness tester Jeff Stapleton, flea, can't bear to
watch as Signal -Star reporter Jim Hagarht tears
his abdominal muscles trying to break the sil-np
record. Hagerty is blurred linethe pbnto because et
the speed with which he comp eied 32 sit-ups in one
minatte. The exeveise was part et a t g
mess testing prograwk, sponsored by the stataisttry tad
mature and rte set up Thursday in
. Viii public schooL Tbe fitness van will reliant to
next most& ((Photo by Cindy Jia
female testers work out
off II.o im><m.: taala;ioirg their
ttaitmne s awn --omnia - -COM-
mestrity tztr Cron +e ntamentity'
offering: f er a SDS free" as
cotmmpllete a fitness
examination as it is
possible to give out of a
vaun.. Their vat is just one
o sew!En that Finave been
touring Onttarii@, since
early siasommer in ane of t: t
to) 0 , 0 0 discover
then- fitness ieved anel for
take se me steppe for iimm-
>v
So that was it. They jiutst
warned treTh vane-. Where
we II heard tibat before?
lies:
Every Craiter:on experieni;e•
Fee ewer had, was in-
thoduteed wiitih, the
trrrrmtnmisse that 11 was shout
for he helped hElow be Il
help yeut 7" quteestiirriiured
the testers.. No way.. They
"t meed any- help they
t esti& Dot—WITS, ttberaapaiists
ami hospital orderlies
teener din
They did say 1 could
helign by dli;lndniing deem off
the gy ccasunitnm roof,
however„ and .,...itethete
ae»esnt ori insanity, II
obiduged..
To Jeff"s command,. 11
trugalmed off my shirt and
my shoes and had my
a anal statistics mmeasuarerd..
Height, mete t" waisitlinie
and legs. Alli recmrded an
per.. Si far,. sol
Then the apparently
sante young= loam grabbed
a half -pound of flesh from
my midriff, gtnnlllledf it
straight out iwn fnnat of me
wait itt was so thin 11 could
see mmy feet them et the
zin, and stuck a pair et
smelly llee king "callipers -
en int_ it was late benne
dntunmg by the stemmechh inn a
clothes dnnne with a
wox Fenn0 1..
"Joist checking year
batty fat„" said Jeff. Wen.
t atlitntnutt my body fat?
IIs
itt healthy body at or
tmmt? 2Atmyw Et075C can a
d . 0) n 0. met weakling have
Body fiat?
""We pnnst,wannt to Brow
.1.1 011111
0145
0"I 116
0 0 05
Q
L
of you” re carrying more
flat theaa you need to„" he
expila,rtae-d[ . .
- Then it was off to the
a.ereithe capacity booth.
where 1?1 was handed a
cardboard cylinder and
tot& to blow my brains .
out_ Deep breath,
cylinder to' n2ouila. empty
the lungs and pass out..
The whole operation was
recorded on a little
computer screen that
enteindly gave away:. my
secret.
-Do you smoke?"
asked Jeff.
Ramming my- nicotine -
'stetted fingertips into, the
pockets of my shorts, I
squeaked. " A little bit. a .
Actually.. a ' buddy
passed name taaT---first
cigarette when 11 was
fifteen and before 1 even
finished it, 1 took off to
the corner service station
to buy myself an eight -
pack carton. Eve -r since
then, it's been smoke a
pack, try to sunt, smoke a
pack, try to quit_
ell your lung~"`Wcapacity seems pretty
geed,- said Jeff. The test
would have showim any
serious blockages in my'
lungs. and windpipe, but
apparently I scored
pretty well on that one_
All systems go on the
lungs,. the our testers
carried nee over to the
bteart-testing area. L was
wired for sound into an
electro -cardiogram
machine and for DO
minutes 1 marched up
and down this flight of
three stairs -steps in tine
to music they must have
taken from a Winnie the
Pooh record_
Trouble is, the darned
tape recorder was ob-
viously running too fast.
A glance at the heart -
monitoring tided; sereen
indicated that both my
heart, and the screen
were about to explode.
Just when the music
Turn to page 4A •
The four testers from the Ontario government's fitness van which set up
shop last Thursday in Victoria public school, were utterly amazed at the
stamina, strength and stunning physique of Signal -Star reporter Jim
Hagerty. 1lipley's.Believe It.Or.Not wassailed in after Hagarty's heartbeat
disappeared altogether following his 10 -minute march up and down the
flight of stairs pictured above. The van will return to Goderich sometime
next month, but the four London testers have already requested that some
other reporter cover the event, complaining about damage to their sensitive
testing machinery. (Photo by 'Cindy Jones)
lr
It's that time of the week again_ Time
to park the frame in front of the eft
writer and come up with something Tor
this space so tenuity saved for me_ The
trouble is I 0 nit have anything to fill)
this space with. I had a couple of
Snappy ideas but when it actually clime
down to writing about them 1
discovered they weren't as snappy as 1
thought they were_
predicament made e wonder
what me I'm doing writing a column
anyway. I nonan when the average guy
sits down to read- a colnarnn in his
favorite journal, magazine or
newspaper he really doesn't give array
thought to what effort went into
preparing the piece. He just wants his
favorite writer to come up whim, a
subject thatt is controversial or at least
interesting and provide some insight
into the matter in a humorous and
entertaining fashion. You just want to
read the column and then pretend all
the wnattex-iall im itt is year when the
sailleet crones at armee brew lk_
ttty hard tta believe_ For' some
pude itt may be very easy tuna silt dowel
and pound mut a calamine ort semmettfinmmg
(valeta bragging itcan say that thne
odd one rve written has lutea a piece of
cake) bat eavem the belt writers can
came nap day_
So what Fw e decided to /n to It3i 1:"t.
readers play columnist foe a ono, y,
t lege t the news, watch your Vis,.. see
if the Familymuttroan=0. ; Ina; Ie;niieng ffnumay,
tread one' paper's and ooy attentive to
all yemaver—dere around; he mead
hopefully wall get that fresh i +,tea your
readers are no confident you'll come
with.
That's s the reel strep. Okay now
yarn"ve gent am idea that you tlaii-nak is
unusual anad interesting collect
thoughts sera the subject and telt tem on
paper. Emind Ienat yea have tto
etaterttain your ffriends, Fannie, and
u'00
ffellnw workers sm you"we gat to try te
include senrinethitmg for everybody_
AHD right you"ve gat the subject and
some ideas on he to present lit_ Let"s
gets lit written, we've get a deadilline to
mmeett_
New that should have taken you
about MT minutes_ Get a coffee and find
a comfortable place tea sat because we
ate: ve to edit the work_ As your check it
over keep in mind that despite what
ynsn think not every, one has the same
mpiumirrnas an the subject as you. There
are people out „n ere who are going to
seaff at your work passing you e t i as an
t®iitmf'or,sne•ad *flint_ Others are goiinng to
think itt was funny which is ,just fine if
you i;anttended on tin be fumy.. Others are
going to Bre shacked which' isn't so bad
gxa°n r ded yearn"vie donne a good ,job and
tth ey"re shocked because your"ve cast
same new liitr -It en the subject that has
caused them to take a second look at it_
Now yen figure you've govt it all
Y
together and it's ready for the public.
You can't try it out en your. family
because it really won't matter what
yeu've written they'll tell you it's great.
The people at work will either be polite
and de the same thing or razz you artd
give you the impression they're root
being honest when they tell you it's
good.
Type it up in a neat fashion and take
it to a restaurant where morning coffee
people wild pick it up and read it. Once
they've finished it casually ask them
what they thought without letting on
ttBnat you wrote fit. If they liked it sit
down and write three more, you may be
an undiscovered columnist. If they
thought it was trash don't be too hard
on yeersetf, it is hard to do and keep
that in mind the next titre you pass a
writer off as an idiot because you didn't
Bike his work.
jefr
ddon
m
e 4