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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 1978-08-17, Page 17(rT' 71, daveyk e: For the past two weeks television viewers have been fed a steady diet of Commonwealth Games from Edmonton. Of course, there was a choice available by simply flipping the channel to bowling for dollars or other. such dynamic sporting events depending on one's excitement threshold. Not that I'm in the market for a deluge of sympathybut the awk- ward little antenna atop the Sykes' abode screened out everything but the Games. So afternoon or evening, whenever the tube was turned on in a fit of boredom, there were the Com- monwealth Games to watch Now that wasn't bad. I can almost survive on a sports diet. And the Canadian athletes, who turned in a remarkable performance, could have easily been mistaken for A1inr.rc with the amount of gold, silver Ho 2 ewe store ..... Page 2A Antique show Page 3A Bean harvest _ ................ Page 12A St_ Augustine church Page 8A Page 9A Theatre Page 5A and bronze they plucked from the games. • But soon the number of days of events turned into weeks and there I was throwing left jabs in the dying seconds of the third round, swimming the final leg of A relay event and bur- sting through the tape in front of the field in the 100 metre sprint. Now while I yelled, screamed and coerced Canadian athletes to a record performance from my living room, the thought occurred that there should be some type of medal compensation for die hard fans like myself. Afterall, there is a certain amount of physical exertion involved. Medals should have been" offered to the spectators who pranced and hopped on one leg in front of the television set, refusing to go to the bathroom until the next commercial break. That's great dedication and body control. There -.definitely should have been medals offered in the spectator clean and jerk competition. This competition would be open to viewers who could lift a beer can while in a reclining position on the sofa and drink a substantial amount of their favorite beverage while not spilling a drop on their un- dershirt or missing precious seconds of viewing. Undoubtedly medals should have been up for grabs in the spectator heavyweight division. Medals would be awarded for the best demonstration of left jabs and right cross combinations into the back of the easy chair while urging a Canadian combatant to vic- tory. The spectator 10 metre open bowl spring. Medals in this event would be awarded to viewers who were'able to dash to the washroom and return to their vantage point ;in front of the �_- oclerich televi.siori set in recordtime, without missing a single event. The spectator open style wrestling competition. The Commonwealth Games'top medals would be doled out to viewers for the best hammer lock, cross-over toe hold and full nelsons performed on the better half or girlfriend on the living room floor while viewing the wrestling competitions. Body slams would result in a disqualification. The hammer throw and shot put. Gold, silver and bronze medals would be presented to armchair athletes who in disgust at the results of an event, threw a plate, bottle or neighborhood youngster through the television screen. Bonus points would be awarded to owners of color television sets. If only they awarded medals to spectators, I might be somewhat of a celebrity. IGNAL STAIR 131 YEAR -33 THURSDAY. AUGUST 17. 1978 SECOND SECTION Summer at Goderich beach right for many things A lot of sr lovers took advantage Of the warm weather Friday to soak up some rays ' and some knowledge at the same time. Effie Hulzebos of Brussels, was one of the many people who relaxed with a good book on the Goderich beach while Old Sol deepened her tan. (Photo by Jim Hagarty) • Lauren MacEwan, kneeling, and her sister Carol spent part of their time on . the Goderich beach Friday building castles out of sand. The two Goderich girls also took intermittent water breaks in the warm Lake Huron waves, heated just right by last week's Warm weather. (Photo by Jim Hagarty) This young swimmer was caught doing The Hustle in mid-air on Friday after vaulting off the diving board at the end of the south pier at Goderich's Harbour Beach. A group of young people took turns demonstrating unique diving styles and if this girl didn't win first prize, the judges must have been looking the other way. (Photo by Jim Hagarty) Heat waves. such as the one we're enjoythg in the Goderich area right now, cause normally sensible people to rill I sorts of strange things to beat the heat Soote people, normally very.. conservative in their dresshabits, remove all clothes but those required to keep therm out of jail. Others spend hours in the kitchen mixing fluids to satisfy their taste buds while..-quen- chning incredible thirsts. But the strangestrituals usually take place at night Exhausted by the tortures of functioning in 90 degree beat people desperate for sleep seem quite willing to go to almost any lengthto get comfortable in the sack. Around our place musical beds is a very popular sport. The rules are simple and the whole family can take part_ ft goes like this. The kids are exhausted and- get sent to bed fairly y early 'Meson is. still izgt,aiidtpaz•.erttis_go. to great lengths to convince the _..yotmgsters..that. It...is .night- time and - ether children are going to bed all over the country. This .Ktlte.,first battle, won. by the parents, sets the stage for .musical beds. A mere half hour after silence per- vades the children's sleeping area the youngest wakesup. Trapped in her crib she begins to moan like someone that has just crawled 100 miles across a desert and is unable to get water out of a fountain he has just discovered. Rushing to keep the moaning from waking the older child you try to beat the clock by pouring the child's favi3urite beverage into a glass or bottle and getting it to her before she really starts to complain. Gasping for breath you listen carefully to - see if your feet got the•job done and hearing nothing. froth the bedroom of the oldest you head back down to the living room. Five minutes later you see that the children won Round Two. The oldest is standing in the doorway rubbing her eyes as- tee felts, -you S c etslee-pp her rooter. There's a lot of noise from across-the-hafthat-wakes her up, 'You -fedi an urge to lay down the law and send the, youngster back to her • r. room but you know that if you do the.. she'll only kick up a fuss and wake up the baby again: Being the quick thinking (and supposedly smarter) person you advise the child to go in your bed and sleep. Hiding a faint smile (that's exactly what she had in mind) she shuffles off to the bedroom. The National is over, the-weatherinan has told you you won't be able to sleep tonight because of the heat, and Carson has died doing his monologue so you decide to hit the sheets., , It's then that you remember your bed is full. Doing your best impersonation of a thief you whisk the child to her room trying to stay silent.,Just as you walk out of her room crying from across the hall stops you in your tracks. The youngest is up. Whoosh+„It's the old race to the refrigerator again. ..–Panting acid `sweating you fall int* bed hoping exhaustion will keep di0cornfort ?rum' detlyiwg -you your sleep. The shuffle of feet says no. Looking towardthe door you see the silhouette of the oldest rubbing her eyes. Realizing you've lost the battle you tell her to crawl in beside her mother. The extra body in a double bed does little to add to the comfort level'so you shuffle off to the living room ih search of a place to lay your head. The chesterfield is unoccupied ,butte the material on the old sofa is some kind of fancy btftlap that's. like sleeping on a piece of ipsulation. Bemoaning your plight you drift off to sleep only to- awaken to several hundred birds chieping outside your window. You can't decide on the time because the alarm is in the bedroom so you haul yourself to an upright position and stagger to the kitchen. It's barely dawn. The bedroorn looks like something froth a refugee camp with bodies littered everywhere. The sun is peeking ' over the horizon and it's already 85 degrees.' ' The hell with it I'll go to work and telex in the air conditioned office. As you head to the bathroom the moaning upstairs signals another race. The old „e dash for the refrigerator before the rest of the family gets up. If the heat wave continues maybe the kids will want to play a best of seven series. They're already up one. " jeff Seddon