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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 1976-10-07, Page 36e 4 PAGE 16ALGODERICH SIGNAL -STAR, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 7, 1076 M arriage counselling does help is. the. ke "•k`Y when couples .want it to work It maybe that improved health and longer life ex- pectancy may betaking their "toll. It may be that marriage :. breakdown is due in part to these very things. "At one time people didn't have to live together for 50 years," says John V.Penn, the newest supervisor at. the Huron County ehildren's Aid. Society offices m Gooderich;, Mr. and Mrs. P.M. Donnelly • Recent wedd!ng Baskets of white gladioli and wheat shafts decorated St. Peter's Roman Catholic Church September 11 for the wedding of Darlene Yvonne Reid, daughter of Mr.. and Mrs. W.H. Reid, Goderich,' and -'Paul Michael Donnelly son of Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Donnelly, also: of Goderich. The. R.ev. Raymond Moynahan officiated at the double - ring ceremony. • . Organist Mrs. Joseph , 'Herdman accompanied, the. soloist, Mary;Ann Frayne who sang Morning Has Broken and Ave Marie. , The bride was given in marriage by .her father: She wore an, off-white polyester satin cape style gown featuring. round neckline ending -in a. V at back• and a waist sash. Her three-tiered"waist=length veil was held in placeby a crown of orange dried flowers. She carried brown and.orange dried flowers amid shafts of wheat and tied with dark brown ribbon. • Maid of honor was Mary Willis, Goderich. She chose an earth brown brocaded satin calf -length gown. She carried shafts' of wheat identical to the ones carried by --,the bride, and tied with dark brown: ribbon•. ' Bridesmaids -cue- Sherr=y R-eid, Goderich; Trudy 'Clements, Sarnia; . Barb. Reynolds, Goderich; Heather Jewell, Goderich. They were gowned in earth shades of green and rose styled identically to the gown worn by the maid of honor. They carried shafts of wheat tied in a darkbrown ribbon. • • Flowergixl• was Pam Clements, Goderich; in, a 'floor - length coral brocaded satin dress trimmed with white lace. She carried.:m'iniature shafts of wheat tied in adark ribbon: R ingbearer was Kenny Morley, Goderich. Groonhnan was Brian Schmidt,-.Goderich. Ushers were Larry Donnelly, .Goderich; Dan DeMers, Auburn; Brad Eidt, Mitchell; and George Hoy, Goderich. - Thr_. reception was at the Vanastra Shillelagh, Clinton. The bride's mother selected a coral polyester jersey gown with a sheer figured jacket and brown accessories and a corsage_ of white roses. The groom's mother wore a fl'oor-length•crepe rose'gown'with white accessories and a corsage of white roses. Following her wedding, the bride changed to a two- • piece striped skirt and _top set in fall shades with a cor- sage of dried flowers. also a qualified marriage counsellor. "They didn't have to get a divorce," • said Mr. Penn. "They died." According .to` Mr. Penn, marriage breakdown . is' growing More and mrore common. Still more and more people are getting 'married -a good many of them perhaps for the wrong reasons. ' • Pregnancy isn't such a common reason es it, once was for marriage, but it still happens despite the new and improved methods df birth` control. This is considered by. Mr. Penn to be'a poor reason for marriage. Other poor reasons arew getting married to escape from an unpleasant home situation; marrying . to, capture in real life fantasies about. Marriage and what itis like; choosing a hesband or wife to build up self-esteem (e.g. a man marries a beautiful girl to strengthen the impression he has of himself); or .to. marry to ;resolve' some problems ,they have observed in their own families. , What good reason is there, for marriage then? "When two people love each'other," states Mr. Penn. But even this statement must be qualified. The kind of love to which Mr. Penn referred was not' the heart -thumping variety so often •found in early relationships between a man and a woman. It is really more of an ability to i n- dersta.nd . each other, 'to communicate. • . . "`After marriage, people .. start to define love interms 'of .• behaviour.," •Mr. ,,,_Fsenn peinted out. He s,aid that when a couple is dating, each one js• doing "an enormous =number of positive things," for the other.: He may be sending her flowers, taking her to dinner aria the theatre, com- plimenting her •on her ap pearance, putting into practice all this .'good man- -ners. She may be dressing carefully for those times 'when he'll see • her; greetinghirn with tenderness and affection, cooking all his favorite dishes,. - listening attentively to his every word, saying .only . those things which will please him. "After marriage, some of the positive things may stop," _ Mr. Penn said. ',There may start to .be- more negative things than positiue thing Love really•d'epends on what people are doing to each other within the marriage." In marriage counselling, Mr.' Penn has found that when -two people really want to' ;work at 'a marriage, much • can be accomplished. °°But+divorce isn't bad in all cases," he asserted. "When two ,people are locked into a destructive' relationship., where one person may be trying to make the other into something he of she can never be, divorce may be the best thing for both husband and wife. In his : early career, Mr. They are residing at Huron Haven Camp. Prior to her marriage, showers were given in the bride's honor by Helen MacDonald for friends; Mary Lou Clements for relatives; the community of Saltford; and by Debbie Torrance and Penny Blaisdale for friends. mat, issormsew, Penn feltitwas his duty to always be a good marriage make people love each other between their parents eitYer,. again when love appeared to "People who have seen have died: Not so any more. • examples of problem solving, Now. Mr. Penn knows that• n who have watched . their some cases,` love really haV't families work through ended between the couple •••+':,problems, usually go into But when people are emarriage with a better at - committed to each other and titude," said Mr. Penn, to their marriage, some People who have difficulty marriagetherap.yworkswell.- expressing their feelings Mr. Penn explained that in.sometimes have difficulty in such cases, one of the best marriage, too. Mr. • Penn treatments is to discover noted that in general, feelings areas where the husband and of anger 'aria: frustration are the wife may exchange more easily communicated "positive things," He ..may than aare the .feelings. of wish she would make his- happiness and trust and love. . breakfast in the morning; she It is important for roles to may .,wish he 'would put the ' be defined, and from time to baby to 'bed while i[she'.was• time. perhaps, to re,define doing the dishes in the these roles according to Mr. evening. Penn. He said all marriages The marriage: counsellor are constantry changing, may say to the•husband:"if because of circumstances Your wife makes your break- inside and outside the horn: fast in the morning, will you He pointedc out -that marriage put the baby to bedwhile she involves only two people until does: the dishes?" Similarly, the family starts arriving; the' marriage counsellor may .° then after a period'of 16 or 18 ask the wife if she will get up years or more, the children to make her husband's break- leave home and the couple is fast if he puts the baby to bed back where they. started,. in the evening while she doesalone. That's change - and it the dishes. • 'has its affect on a marriage. "If' they both agree, it is Mr, Penn said; for exam - simply amazing what a real ple, that a woman may be improvement will show in the perfectly content to stay at marriage in a very short home for the first five or ten :time, said Mr. Penn. "It years of .the marriage. Then, isn't long before each is doing suddenly'- especially in these more positive things for the , daysof "women's liberation" other." - the _wifemaydecide she Some kinds of people are wants to work outside the better suited for marriage, 'home., -Obviously then, the than are others, according to . roles of both husband . aiid"` Mr. 'wenn. In" his view, wife need to change if there is flexible, adaptable in- to beharmony in the house. dividuals. who have had "People get into problems good examples in their homes over -the little • things," , Mr. while growing Up, have less Penn claimed, "Com - problems in rnarriage ' munication is the . key. The good example need not Marriage is work and com- munication is ` the key ' in terms of getting the work in = marriage done." • Pressures of `finances, varying interests, friends and family, perhaps even sexual ?demands or inadequacies, . cause , problems: Mr. Penn admits there is "'.a. greater focus on sexuality .in marriage now than in the past. "Divorce is easier now." said Mr. Penn. "People are lookiri"g for the best,perhaps sometimes . unrealistically. Sometimes they are just':not willing to work through a crisis. They give up and end. the marriage." He said the people whq look to marriage counsellingare those who realize that what they . are looking • for they might' already have....or• - might not be able tofind elsewhere. + "Ifthey wanttito work at it, usually the marriage can be improved," 'Mr. ' Pdnn. ob- served... • W. J.-Denomme'� • Flowers for All Occasions, & Distinctive Gifts 1 1 + Weddings i4 1 + Funerals ,�/ + Fresh cut Nt t S 1 Flowersw I' '• ' .f T • Dried Flowers • Plants 524-2152 tST /j SHOPPERS SO R•E 000ERICH ! call anytime ,V',7v 524.2132 ' .� .i.op+�,.r..i.erruwu.uyewtea mie•iiH o,www•r.rmeto,""•"'""'""i THE 'FLOWER- • SHOP - Phone ;EaR4t C 1:3 524-8132 �,i DAY =1'oM C1 ,OR .. s .::,NIGHT ` -, ... FILM DEVELOPING L. Agent for 24 -hr... °.w NOTICE We, at JIM HAYTER CHEV-OLDS, would at this time like to thank everyone .who came out and made our NEW CAAR SHOW such a huge success. Listed below are the names of the Door Prize winners. Ed Linner RR 4, Goderich Ont. 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