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HomeMy WebLinkAboutExeter Times, 1916-4-6, Page 2CANADIANS UNDER ARMS NUMFR ABOUT 246,0001 Of 29o,eoo Who Have .Joined the Colors 43, to Are Out of Action Through Ca ualties or Other Crluses, A despatch from Ottawa stays: Case unities of every :. description among the. Canadian forces since the oat - break of war total : 22,000, and the wastage evert from . casualties has been 91,700. This makes.. a total of 43,700 men, out of 290,000 who have] joined the colors to date, who cannot now be numbered hi the effective' fighting force. The 'Canadian army actually under arms at the present time is therefore about 246,000 men. or thee 112,000 are overseas, either in Great Britain or at the front, while in training in Canada there are ap- proximately 134,000, counting those on guard duty, on Headquarters staff. Thee were among the interesting fart', given to the Commons Thurs- day by Sir Robert Borden in reply to a series of questions by Hon. Charles Marcia. In regard to Mr. Marcil's `•. question as to whether the Govern- meat• had derided to enlist 500,000 ("au adians for overseas service, after cree siting the British authorities, the', Prime Minister said that the Govern- ment etwaye, took pains to ascertain the views of the Imperial authorities, pareletai a:ly the War Offiee, with re- gard .o the: e matters before coming -to any decision. Nothing had hap- pened since that decision, he added, to induce the Government to change its mind as to the number to be en- listed, With regard to the question as to how long it took the Canadian troops to be ready for the fronts from the date of enlistment, the Premier said that the period varied. Six months might be taken as a minimum for in- fantry, but other arms of the service required a longer period before they , were ready to go to the front. The total expenditure by Canada for war purposes up to the end of February, Sir Robert said, has aggre- gated $187,000.000, nob taking into account the millions of dollars which Great Britain has spent on behalf of Canada for munitions of various kinds supplied to the Canadian forces at the front through the War Office. The accounting for these will not be made until the war is over. In reply to Mr. Boulay, the Pre- mier said that the members of the Military Hospitals Commission served without salary, but that they were al- lowed $10 per day and railway fare while engaged on the business of the Commission. LLA WOUNDED BAND N FLIGHT United Stews Troops Surprise and tatter the Mexican • Outlaws. STRIKERS DELAY `.IN MRS° al VA l>' 1d: i v.'ai : Jk, +, V&W♦ y..i. k AMIA lattavalk -copyright by The London Daily mat. These are types of Turkish fighting men. The group shown in the picture was among the Turks captured by the British during recent fighting on the Tigris. Markets of the World HOER OF BRITISH AT HArD Breadstuffs. Toronto, April 4. -Manitoba wheat --New crop, No. 1 Northern, BRITISH $1.11; No. 2 Northern, $1,081 ; No, Sir John Haig's GUNS, 3 Northern, $1.06, in store Fort Wil - U T a IS NOT YET A.RRIVED AR i� Y R Q S � 1 �Q 'RPM NG THE FORR R PI . B!!, . fAII HUN ss W A WRECKS" All Araila,blc Hay, ()ate and Wheat Straw Have Boon Secured. A despatch from London says: An army council notice i:a ued on Thurs- dey night says that "all hay or oats or wheat straw, the eehed or unthresh- ed, now standing on farm or other premises in bulk in Great Britain," is requielttoned by the War Departlnent. Farmers and stock dealers are au- thorized to use a normal quantity of straw for their live stock. The amount allotted for private eou sump - tion is to be restricted to: the monthly average of the preceding; three ma°nths. QUARTER .BILLION WAR P RO T� WN A despatch from Ottawa says: Sir Robert Borden has- given notice• of a resolution providing for a war appro- priation of $950,000,000 for the com- ing fiscal year. The resolution eon - tains the same provisions as last year as to the objects for which the appro- priations niay be expended. This in- cludes the defence and security of Canada, and promoting the continu- ance of trade, industry and business communications, whether by means of insurance or indemnity against war risk or otherwise. It is further pro- vided that the money may be raised -Drees Now Hold One-fourth of the by way of loan, temporary or other - Wise. liam. Entire Western Front. Manitoba oats -No. 2 C.W,, 423'ac; Lloyd George Makes Sensational No, 3 C.W., 401se; extra No. 1 feed, A despatch from London says: The Charge in British House of ' 40%c; No. 1 feed, 39%c, in store Fort official communications having re- Wi.lzaen. vealed the fact that the British armies Commons. American corn -No. 3 yellow, 81%c, have taken over a length of the line A deepat,?a from El Paso says :ti oak Toronto. ' previously held by the French," says Panche Villa, the Mexican bandit lead- A despatch from London says: Dur- i et, rets .mitd iii the hi esti ed from ing a discussion of the Clyde strike t Canadian corn -Feed, 68 to 70c, Renter's correspondent at the British p' P in the House of Commons Thursday track Toronto. headquarters in France, "I ani per - the DepoStates troops in his first , Ontario oats -No. 3 white 43 to clash with them on Wednesday. night David Lloyd George, the Muni miffed to make reference to it. ,_ tions Minister, declared that the bi 44c, commercial, 42 to 43c, according "The new dispositions were carried Villa lest e) men killed, two machine g ; to freights outside. I out withgreat skill and gun, and a number of saddles and guns which the army wanted has been secrecy, and rifles, u.'.;u some horses. The Ameri- held up through all its stages of Ontario wheat -No. 2 Winter, per the result of them has been the re - vane l,urwounemanufacture and that the sbrikers !car lot, $1 to $1.02; No. 1 commercial, lease of large French forces who were battle took �ptaaee imen the edge of theholdingupimportant guns 96 to 98c; No. 2 commercial, 94 to 96c; manifestly of great value to another were most . No. 3 commercial, 91 to 92c; feed ' town (if Geerrero, capital of the des- needed by the army. That the Clyde wheat 85 to 87c according•to freights trii•t dominated by Villa in the daysstrike caused a ferment out of all s outside. 9371 85'8/ feed, when as a i.andit he defied the forces, proportion to the number of men in- Peas -No. 2, $1.60; peas, according) -No. 2 C.W. 41T8c; No. 3 C.W., of Porfirio Diaz for years. Villa was! volved e's stis atementy itr. was Lloyd! re- to sample, $1 to $1,30, according to 39%e; extra No. 1 feed, 39Sec; No. taken from the field in a carriage, g freights outside. I1 feed, 38%c; No. 2 feed, 37%c. Bar- limpin: according to reports of the! sponsible for holding up guns needed Barley -Malting, 62 to 04c; feed :ley -No. 3, 59c; No. 4, 54%e; rejected, United i Mates officers with Col. Dodd, at the British front. t barley, 59 to 62c, according to freights 151c; feed, 51c. Flax --No. 1 N.W.C., confirmed by Mexicans made prisoners; ""- ; outside. '• j $1.9234; No. 2 C:W,, $1.8934. by the Americans. 'WITH RIGHT LEG GONE, Buckwheat -68 to 69c, according to I T - .........._ea____...... I CORPORAL FIGHTS.'. freights outside. Minneapolis Wheat LARGE; INCREASE E ASE IN `� Rye -No. 1 commercial, 86 to 87e; Minneapolis, April 4a -Wheat --- BRITISH RE i'E1 UE. Amazing Act of Courage on British' rejected, according to sample, 83 to ; May, $1.14% to $1.14%; July, _ Front V.C.'s Conferred. f 85c, according to freights outside. i $1.141/4; No. 1 hard, $1.19%; No. 1 I'rolrerty aaxd Income Tax Are Re- S A despatch from London says :Six Manitoba flour -First patents, in !Northern, $1.14% to $1.17%; No. 2 sponsible for Increase of newaawards of the Victoria Cross' jute bags, $6.50; second patents, in i Northern, $1.11% to 31.14%. Corn �, were announced on Thursday.. The jute bags, $6; strong bakers', in jute ! --No. 3 yellow, 73 to 74c. Oats -No, 258,9 21,000. !most amazing act of courage was that: bags, $5.80, Toronto. ! 3 white, 41 to 411/ac. Flour -Fancy A floss :ath from London Nays: At of Corporal Cotter, of the Sixth East' Ontario flour -Winter, according to i patents, ten cents higher, quoted at the dost• of the financial year on Kent Regiment. When his right leg. sample, $3.95 to $4.05, track Toronto; ! $6.35; first and second clears un- Thuyeria y night the Government is- , had been blown off at the knee, and • 34.10 to $4.20, bulk seaboard, prompt changed. Shipments, 61,370 barrels. sued a report showing that the total he also had been wounded in both, shipment. Bran, $18 to $18.50. revenue of the United Kingdom for arms, he made his way unaided for; Millfeed-Car Iots, delivered Mont - the year amounted to £336,766,824, be- fifty yards to a mine chater and' real freights -Bran, per ton, 325; Live Stock Markets. ing ars increase of £110.072,744 over steadied the men who were holding it. shorts, per ton, $26; middlings, per Toronto, April 4. -Choice heavy last year. The largest increase was He controlled their fire, issued orders! ton, $27; good feed flour, per bag, steers„ $8.35 to 38.75; butchers' cat - in property and income tax, including and altered the dispositions of his men $1.60 to $1.70, tle, choice, $8 to $8.25; do., good, the supertax which was 858,921,000. to meet a fresh counter-attack by the $7.75 to $7.85; do., medium, $7.15 to -"-- enemy. For two hours he held the Country Produce. $7 , 50; do„ common, $6.60 to $6.76; MARRIED MEN CALLED position, and allowed his wounds to Butter -Fresh dairy; 28 to 31e; in- butchers' bulls, choice, $7.25 to $7.50; TO JOIN COLORS. be roughly dressed only after the ate ferior, 23 to 25c; creamery prints, do., good bulls, $6,85 to 37; do., rough tack had quieted down. ; 34 to 36c; solids, 32 to 34c. bulls, $4.65 to $5.15; butchers' cows, A despatch from London says : Nine Eggs -New -laid, 25 to 26c; do., in choice, $6.75 to $7.25; do., good, groups of married men who attested COMMITTEE TO CARE " `cartons, 27 to 28c. 36.25 to $6.50; do., medium, $5,85 to for service under the Derby plan are f FOR BRITISH GRAVES t Honey -Prices in 10 to 60-1b. tins, $6.10; do., common, $5.25 to $5.75; to join the colors on May 5. The , groups concerned are numbers 33 to A despatch from London says: A; $3; O. 2, $2.25 to $2.40. $7.25; choice feeders, dehorned, 950 41, consisting of men from 27 to 3: national committee has been appoint- Beans -$4.10 to 34.40, the latter to 1,000 lbs., $7.15 to $7.50; canners years of age, It is the calling out of ed by the Government for making per-: for hand-picked. and cutters, $3.75 to $4.50; milkers, these men before all eligible single manent provision for the care of Poulbry-Chickens, 21 to 22c; •fowls, choice, each, $75 to 3100; do., common men have joined the army that has graves of officers and men in France} 18 to 19c, ducks, 20 to 22c; geese, 18 and medium, each, $40 to $60; spring - caused so much agitation throughout and Belgium. The Prince of Wales; to 20e; turkeys, 25c. ers, $50 to 3100; light ewes, $8,50 to the country. In consequence of this is president. It was decided that no Cheese -Large, 19c; twins, 19144e. $9.50; sheep, heavy, $6 to 37.50; feeling an earlier summons issued t permanent memorials will be erected Potatoes -Car leo Vs of Ontario, $1.80 ; yearlings, 310.50 to $12; bucks and these men was cancelled in any British military cemetery dur- to 31.8 5, and N Brunswicks at culls, $3.50 to $4.50; lambs, choice, ....................ase____ 31,90 to 31.95 per bag, on track, RUSSIA HAS ORDERED ing the continuance of hostilities, ori $Il bo 312.50; spring lambs, $7 to until the military situation should ap-c 310.50; calves, good to choice, $8.50 MUNITIONS ENQUIRY pear to justify giving the necessary Provisions. to $10.25; do., medium, 37 to $8.50; sanction. All requests for fnforma-i Bacon, long clear, 16% to 161/zc per hogs, fed and watered, 310.85; do., A de patch from Petrograd says:: tion regarding graves of officers and , lb. in case lots. Hams -Medium, 20 weighed off cars, $11.25; do., f.o.b., The Council of the Empire, recogniz- men fallen in France and Belgium; to 21c; do,, heavy, 15 to 17c, rolls, 17 310,50, ing the nces,ity of investigating the should continue to be addressed to to 1714e, breakfast bacon, 21 to 24c, Montreal, April 4. -Butchers' steers, recent insufficiency of munitions at the director of graves registration,` backs, plain, 25 to 26e; boneless backs, best, $7 to 38; good, 37.40 to $7.65, the Russian front, has ordered the' 28 to 29c. general headquarters. fair, $7.05 to $7.25; medium, $6.50 opening of st preliminary inquiry into. 1 Lard -Pure lard, tierces, 13x14 to to $7; rough, $6 to 36.75. Butcher accusation:, against Gen Soukhomlin I14c, and pails, 1434e; compound, 13 bulls, $6.25 to $6.75; medium, 36 to off, formerly Minister of War, and • PUBLIC CELEBRATION to 14c. against Gen. Kouzmine-Korowaieff,OF BATTLE OF YPRES. $6.75; common, $5 canners, $4 to $5, Hogs -Selects, $11 to $11.50; Montreal Markets. rough and mixed lots, $10.25 to Private Citizens Asked to Fly Flags , Montreal, April 4.-Corn-Ameri- $10.75; common, $10; sows, 37.75 to FRENCH GENERAL on Anniversary of Great Struggle. ! can No. 2 yellow, 84 to 85c. Oats- $8. Sheep, 36 to $8; lambs, $0 to $12. KILLED .AT VERDUN A despatch from Ottawa says : The; Canadian Western, No. 2, 52c; No. 3, Calves, milk fed, $5.50 to $8.50. anniversary of the Battle of Ypres,? 50c; extra No. 1 feed, 50c; No. 2 local . A despatch from Paris says: Gen. the famous struggle of April 22, 1915,, white, 48 4e; No. 3 local white, 471/ac; BRITISH CASUALTIES eral Largeau, one of the youngest when the Canadian fought a great and; No. 4 local white, 4044c. Barley- i French brigadiers, has been killed in gallant, and successful fight against: Manitoba feed, 60 to 67c; malting, 75 action at Verdun. Ile distinguished the Huns, will be celebrated officially i to 77c. Flour -Manitoba Spring wheat himself in Africa where he served with' in Canada by the hoisting of flags on' patents, firsts, $6.60 seconds, 36.10; •cle ix eta li frim Landon says: Brit - the Marchand expedition. 'all public buildings. strong bakers', $5,90; Winter patents, ! ish casualties in March, as compiled choice, $6.10; straight rollers, $5.50 from the pubiiehed lists, amounted tc' BELEAGUERED - - ^ to 35.00; do., bags, $2.55 to $2.60, 1,107 officers and 19,3] 7 men. Rolled oats--Bbls., $5 to $5.05; do., - . - .- °--•. MESSAGE bags, 90 lbs., $2.35. Bran, $24, � �;;,I �P HEAR T Shorts, $6. Mddlings, $28 to $30,Rti KING'S Mouill%e, 30 to $33. Hay --•Na. 2, per ; ton, car lots, 320 to 320.50. Cheese-' Finest westerns, 18%4 to 19c; finest Clens Townsend Assured That Every Possible Effort easberns, 18% to 1812, ' Butter- x SendChoicest creamery, 33 to 34e; seconds, , 18 Eei1�, 10'��?�de to Relief, . area. At present the British are probably holding something like one- fourth of the entire length of the western front, extending in an un- broken line from the Yser to tele Sons - me. "Although the hour of the British army may be at hand, it is not yet. i Nor is there any reason to believe that the Germans will succeed by their attacks on Verdun in upsetting the pre -arranged strategy of the great coming offensive." ac; No. 6, sc; ee , 80%c. Oats -� ,13 to 14c. Combs -No. 1, 32.75, to stockers 700 to 850 lbs., $6. 60 bo Chief of the Artillery Department. I• IN MARCH 20,4244. 2 HUN O� � I I BLOWNTO I __ f British Mine Explosions at St. Eloi I PIECES! Have Terrific Effect on Foe Trenches. A despatch from British Head- quarters says: German prisoners captured near St. Eloi on Saturday last after we wrecked their trenches! by a series of mine explosions, pared- I ed to -day before being taken down to the base. These men were lucky in' ;their escape from death. The ex -1 plosion of our mines was so terrific that it shook the ground six miles 'away and its effect upon the German trenches was volcanic. Tons of earth: were flung up hundreds of feet high, carrying away trenches, dugouts and sandbags. A Jaeger regiment which was hold- ing this part of the line suffered heavy losses. A captured officer says that two companies of his battalion were blown to pieces. The earth was so disrupted that the communi-: cation trenches were choked up and there was no possibility of escape for the men who remained alive in the first and second lines of this ector, nor for any supports to be sent up to prevent the occupation of the craters and trenches by the British, who still hold this ground. The Germans sur- vivors were caught in :the trap, and: in a dazed condition were taken pris- oners easily enough. The exact num- t ber of them is still uncertain, as men are still being brought down but the number is about 200 with several of- ficers. i I - ,�--- ! WILL NEVER ATTACK I A despatch from Athens says : "I do not believe the Austro -Germans seriously intend attacking Saloniea," said an Entente general to the As- ociated Press correspondent on Fri- day. "They have an excellent intel- ligence service in Macedonia and are; fully aware of the great strength of our positions. I do not think they will; throw away men needlessly hi trying to take it, especially after the Verdun i experience. In respect to a possible j offensive by 'the Entente allies it is,' impossible to say anything. I be- lieve Salonica to be absolutely am-' pregnable." , CUSTOMS RECEIPTS ' SHOW BIG INCREASE. Department Returns Place Figures at $`25,000,000 Over Last Year. A despatch from Ottawa Says: A twenty-five million dollar increase in customs receipts during the fiscal year, which ended March 31, is shown by figures issued by the Customs De- partment. The total receipts for the twelve months were 3102,609,621, as compared with 378,26'2,535, or an increase of $24,347,085 for the year. The March statement itself shows an increase of 33,307,109. The total receipts during the month were 310,- 663,234, 10; 663,234, as compared with 37,356,1.25 during the same month last year. Re- turns from the Finance Department confirm the statement made some days ago, that the total revenue re- ceipts for the fiscal year will exceed Sir Thomas White's estimate by from three to four million dollars. The total revenue, including that from the war taxation, will be in the neighborhood of $175,000,000. WOMEN WORK ON DOCKS AT BRITISH PORTS. A. despatch from Liverpool says : Women are now being employed at the Liverpool docks, handling cotton; imports and other bagged goods. At the Leyland Line docks nearly 100, women. are now working. Fears were entertained that the Dockers' Union would raise difficulties, but these have been smoothed over and the women are receiving the same rate of pay as the n•ien. BIG RUSSIAN VICTORY: TRADES FOR THE CRIPPLES OF GERMANY. Many Different Kinds of Artificial Limbs Are Being Provided. An account of how Germany is seriv- ink: to patch up soldier victims of the Kaiser's war lust is contained in a special Berlin letter from Mary Etbe el M'Auley to the Pittsburg "WO - patch." Even now, with the war only a of the "war -wrecks.," even though ".made in Germany," might be com- mended to the attention of the Bri- tish authorities when grappling with this difficult problem. The word "cripple" is a word that hurts, she writes, and in Germany when the people speak of the men who have lost arms, legs, or eyes, they say "Kriegsbeschadigte," which has a softer sound, and means hurt I or damaged by war. I Even now, with are war only a year and a half old, many plans have been ctarried out for these unfortun- ' ate nien, and many other plans are being made. Skilful doctors and arti- ficial limb makers are contriving all • sorts of ways to make various kinds of arms and legs that are suited for ' all kinds of work that the crippiedw . men may wish to do. A. man who wishes to be a carper', ter, fur instance, must have a differ- ent kind of a hook on his new arm to the man who wishes to be a black- smith, Experiments. All this means an enormous amount of experimenting, for there are so many hundreds of trades in the world, and the crippled man wishes, if pos- sible, to follow, the same trade'he had before the war. -Of course, in many cases it is not possible to do this, and for these cases there have been map- ped out fifty-one new trades `which are • easily carried on by igen without arms or legs. The Government also has schools where these trades can be learned without charge. These are not merely oceupaatiaiis for the labor ; ing man, but also for the mean of education, and a man may -study art, music and literature there. ! Most of - the crippled men do not ! return to war, but settle down to , peaceful labors. One soldier, a she maker by trade, found that he coulc make just as good shoes with one leg as with two. Another case was that of a soldier who had lost both his legs at Liege. He was an engi- neer by trade, and now he is run- : ning the fast train between Cologne and Brussels. A tailor had both his I legs cut off. The new feet that were ;made for him were very large, and now he can treadle his sewing ma- chine as well as before. The loss of aiz arm is much more serious than the loss of a leg, and all sorts of hooks and stress must be provided so that the men can do more than one thing. In the sad cases of both arms being gone, im- plements have been invented for holding spoons, knives, forks, cigars, cups, and, indeed, everything, se that the man will not be helpless. Homes For Cripples. Every province in Germany, contin- ues the writer, now issues each week a little pamphlet to help the crippled men. These pamphlets telt them of trades they can pursue, of things they can make if they prefer to stay at home, and where they can sell what ti TERRIBLE TURK LOSSES Desperate Enemy Counter -Attacks in; the Caucasus Region A despatch from Petrograd says:! Virednesday's official statement says: "In the Caucasus, on the coast sec-' tor, our detachments which had oc-1 cupied the heights on the left bank of the River Oghen Dere sustained, during Monday night a series of des- perate enemy counter-attacks. All j of them were repulsed, and the Turks, i having suffered terrible losses, beat a; retreat., leaving behind prisoners and f a gun. We also took prisoners in the' direction of Erzendjan," 4' ---- SOLDIER SETTLERS The Kaiser and Kaiserin are going to build a home for blind soldiers, where they will not only be cared for, but taught occupations as well. The German Government has also drawn up plans to build houses for the men. Sites have already been selected and plans completed. The houses are to be built near factories in which work will be carried on that a crippled man can do. Some of the homes are single SALONICA DEFENCES.? OFFERED FREE LAND houses, little cottages effects with a slanting roof and a little garden. Then there will be a number of larger apartment houses, ancl, last of all, there will be one very large house in each community, like a hotel, where the unmarried men can live and be cared for. The rental of these houses is to be almost astonishing low. For in- stance, a room for the bachelor in then,,,, large house will cost from 325 to $bb''`✓ a year, and this includes light anil'� heat, and in some cases furniture. An apartment of three or four rooms and bath in the large apartment house will cost • from $75 to 3100 per year, with light and heat. The single W - - -- houses w411, of course, be more ex- pensive, and will cost about 31.50 a year. TAL QIP SUBMA1 LINED IN 30 to 32c. Eggs -Fresh, 27c. rota- T W O 1111 d ed Soldiers 0 n Bo toes -Per bag, car lots, $1.75 to Cross V%c'i5 Pai A despatch from London say -s: An ; "I, together with all your fellow $1.80. aiiicial announcement says the follow- : countrymen, continue to follow with A despatch from London says: The British South Africa Company has an- nounced a grant of 500,000 acres of free land to soldier -settlers from over- seas after the war. The company agrees to provide expert advice and supervision, to aid them in getting a good start in their new homes, TIGHTEN ANOTHER LINK IN BRITISH BLOCKADE. A despatch from London says: Great Britain has put in effect an or- der in -Council under which neither a vessel nor her cargo is immune from. capture for a breach of the blockade on the sole ground that the vessel at the moment is on her way to a non- blockaded port. C SEA Her Reward. Mrs. A ---I met Mrs. Sevelton, the and at the Time a t7 ci RCCI to_dayoand gave her 310 for t of the Home for �iit which nted on Vessel. I couldn't well afford. Mr. B. --Heaven will reward you. admiration the: gallant fightingof the Winnipeg Grain A despatch from Paris says: The n message was despatched by Kin g P ing ?? d g troops under your. command against Wicuaips•g, April 4.. -Cash quotations hospital ship Portugal has beers sunk George to General Townsend, in cone- great odds. Every possible effort is Wheat ---No, 1 Northern, $1.10%; in the Black Sea by a German tor• marsd of the British troops at Itu1-el- being mach, to support our splendid , 2 Northern < 1.08% No. 1 Nor-? Tiede heat or submarine. The Pettus r, Pp y' Is Na $ > � Ainaras itesistanee." thern, 31.05%;: No, 4, $1.02%; No, 5, ;,al had a large number of wounded • Mrs. A, --It has already. She, in - aboard, accozdmg to an announcement of the official press bureau on Thurs- day night. It is said that the Portu- gal had Iced Cross signs conspicuous- ly displayed. vited me to luncheon. When a small boy gets his fingers enught`in the pantry door it i„n't the jam he is looking for. That Balking Word. Husband (testily) -Oh, ifW-if--if l You remind me of what the :fellow who got lost in the woods said to his companion. Wife -Well, what slid lie say? Husband ---He said.. "Now if we had some ham we'd have some ham. and eggs, if we had some eggs." High 0 is best attained by treading on a cat's tail.