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The Goderich Signal-Star, 1987-09-23, Page 15Chil GODERICH SIGNAL, -STAR, WEDNESDAY. SEPTEMBER 23, 1987 PAGE 15 BY PATRICK RAFT'S Must adults, rio [natter how troubled their youth, can look back on their childhood years and find at least some pleasant [memories. Not su, fur Paris, Ontario native Maury Blair, who describes his nightmare childhood in a book aptly titled "Child of Woe". As an illigitirnate child, despised by his step -father who referred to him only as "the black bastard," Blair suffered over 1:3 years of physical and mental abuse; never eating meals with his family, living in an attic room where he wasn't even allowed a light, in constant terror of con- tinuous beatings. At one point, he was left in the wilderness by his mother to die, only to be saved by the conscience of his aunt. abuse victi TURNED TO GOD If you met Blair today, you would - never imagine what this outgoing, gregarious man has been through. Now a director of the Toronto Teen Challenge, a teatment centre for young men with emo- tional, drug and alcohol problems, he counsels -"hurting children," through this program and other ministries. He credits discovering "a relationship with God," with bringing him out of the depressed and often suicidal state he was left in by years of abuse. Blair visited Goderich on the weekend, spending Friday speaking at GDCI and three area public schools. For the rest of the weekend he was the featured speaker at the Victors Youth Evangelism retreat, held at Bethel Penecostal Assembly, on Bayfield Road, Goderich. UNWANTED CHILD Blair's story really began before he was born, when his mother Alice, a former evangelist, married a rough mechanic from Paris Ontario. The couple had three children before Alice's husband died, leaving her to raise the children with virtually no income. She originally refused an offer of mar- riage and•finacial• support for her children from her first husbands brother, a World War 1 veteran, who, embittered by a war injury, was known to have a _history of violence,--_ . Leaving the children 'with her oth , Alice left for Michigan, USA, whe he found'work in a machine parts factory and romance with factory worker Maury Blair Senior. She became pregnant with Blair's child and, not wishing to ruin both their lives, left Michigan without telling him and returned to Paris. REAL ESTATE Spacious, custom built, 3 bedroom home located 5 minutes north of Goderich on 47 acres. 1500 sq. ft. living area, fireplace, finished 2 car garage. CaII 521-4228 after 5 p.m. Back home, she was again offered mar- riage to her brother-in-law, but only on the condition she gave up the other man's child'she was carrying. Initally, she agreed to this, but had a change of heart after having the baby and brought it with her into her new home. "That's when the home became a war zone, when I came in," said Blair, adding that the abuse began almost immediately and never ceased until his step -father fell ill when Blair was 13. "I don't have an earliest recollection his beating me; I could only remember being beaten, always being beaten," Blair said in his book. LEFT TO DIE While the story of Blair's survival of years of abuse and neglect is an amazing one - it is ironic that he almost didn't survive his infancy to experience it. Prior to marrying Blair's step -father, his distraught another packed him off one day for a visit to her sister near Brant- ford. Her sister lived in a rural area and Alice set off with the baby for a walk in the woods and returned without him. When Alice said nothing about the child's absence, her sister said, "Alice, I won't be a part of a murder," and set off to find the child, a task she accomlished after a search lasting several hours. Equally ironic, was the fact that Blair's mother, out of concern for the natural father, had never had him registered with the government when he was born. He had no record of his birth. "My mother probably could have got- ten away with it, as the government had no record of my existance," said Blair, noting that the lack of a birth certificate later caused him problmes when he went to get married. NEVER UNDERSTOOD As a child, Blair never understood the ctirc'umstances behind his step -father's unreasonable hatred of him. "I began to assume all the blame for the abuse, myself, wondering 'why does he hate me, what have I done?"' he said. Teachers and other citizens were not required by law to report suspected child abuse cases then, as they are now, so even though the family's neglect of Blair must have been obvious, the auth-orities -were never .notified. . The abuse ended,•only when Blair's step -father feel ilr, when Blair was 13. At that point, Blair was nearly as large as his weakened step -father and he had quit school to go to work and support the family. - "When I got a job and threw in my paycheck, suddenly I was wanted, sud- denly, I was needed," said Blair, adding that his step -father "tolerated," him after that. Blair was 19 when his step -father died, tells his st leaving him the sole support of the seven family members still at home. Although the beatings had stopped years ago, "the damage had been done," said Blair, and that, combined with the financial pressure left him lonely and depressed. "I used to go out at night and tell my mother, "This is it, it's over, I'rn going to kill myself," and then spend the night driving on backroads at 85 or 90 -miles - per -hour, Blair said. The family moved to Michigan at this point, looking for a better life, but that didn't work out either," said Blair, and they returned to Ontario, where they end- ed up living in a tiny shack, with only Blair's Unemployment Insurance cheque for income. It was then Blair read a book, "Stay Alive, All Your Life," by Norman Vin- cent Peele. From that book, Blair took the message that ':God loves me," and began to get his life in order. He continued to work and support the family, but also got involved with the local church and eventually went away to attend a Bible college. "It was at col- lege that I began to tell my story per- sonally, to friends, but I never dreamed at that time of going public. On advice from some friends, Blair went to Toronto and began work as a counsellor in the Teen Haven program,. and has continued to work in that field ever since. He met his met and married his wife of 18 years, Bev, who is also in the youth counselling field. The couple have two daughters. Blair now spends his time carrying "a message of hope," todabuse victims everywhere. '"Kids that are being abused need to realize that there is help available," he said, noting that society today is doing much more, especially in terms of repor- ting abuse cases, than it was when he was a child. Still, Blair points out, the nature of to- day's society also creates a potential for child abuse. "We're living.in a society where parents don't want to parent - they want to have fun," he said. ._Early detection and action in abuse eases, is one of the most important fac- tors in salvaging the situation, he said. "You have to get to these kids early, because, as they suffer, they take it out • on society." More openness. on the subject is needed as well, he said. Too often, problems are not solved because people, both abused and abusers, are afraid to talk about it. Blair himself, says he does not have any hesitation about discussing his ordeal. "My life's been healed. I talk about it now like it happened to someone else. In fact, I have found some humorous (��� NATIONAL REAL LNJ.ESTATE SERVICE NORTH AMERICA'S,rILz REAL ESTATE MARKETING SYSTEM. For all the NRS properties Pick up your FREE COPY of THE REAL ESTATE. ADVERTISER at all convenience stores in town. or call Sales Representatives JOHN TALBOT or LINDA TALBOT at 524-2520 for information NRS L • NDON REALT (HUR • N BRANCH) W.J. HUGHES REALTY LIMITED 30 Kingston St. Goderich 524-7373 524-8100 Cameron St. Beauty 1 floor home, 2 baths, main floor den, patio doors to sundeck, hostess kitchen. Maintenance free, garage, deep lot. Call Rita -Allen 524-8480. New Listing Bluewoter Beach. Cosy year round bungalow, 3 bedrooms, eat -in kitchen with lots of cupboards, deck, garage and cabin. Well treed lot. In 50's. Call Norma Taylor 482.9921. Huron Road Properties Cosy bungalow plus adjoining home needing some work. Both Tots total 132' x 132'. Good commercial potential. Open for offers. Cal) Rita Allen 524.8480. Deluxe Mobile 14' x 68' Canadian built, woodstove in living room, covered deck, garage, cen- tral air conditioning, satellite dish and much more. Situated on 150' x 150' well treed lot. CaII Norma Taylor 482-9921. Investment Property Modern duplex, central, hot water heating, good condition. Asking in 70's. Call Rita Allen 524-8480. 18 Acres Mixed bush, 2 streams, Goderich Twp. Call Norma Taylor 482-9921. Building Lots Clese to Goderich, '/a acre & '!o acre. Port Albert Aprox. ' , acre building lot. Rita Allen Ebb Ross Barb Shewfelt Norma Taylor 524-8480 524-8786 524-9581 482-9921 •Appraisals •Property Management •Investments 76 Hamilton St. Goderich N7A 1P9 524-2671 ' 524-9097 • Residential • Farms •Business •Resort Property DDD MILTIPlr LIMO tiIrue ry WOODLAND HOMES NOW OPEN FOR INSPECTION - Immediate possession. Quilty -built, 3 level backsplit. Over 1140 sq. ft. of luxury living. High effi- ciency gas furnace, costs approx. 5300. a year. Located on Jones St. Extra Targe lot. Phone Bill Clifford for more details. EAST ST. COMMERCIAL - Excellent income potential. Over 800 sq. ft. of retail outlet plus 2 apart- ments in excellent condition. CLOSE TO HOSPITAL YEAR-ROUND CLASS IT'S ALL HERE - Minutes away from marina, golf course, beaches and Bayfield shops. This immaculate 3 bedroom home features cen- tral air, formal dining room, 2 baths, attach- ed garage, sheltered deck, satellite dish and more. OWN YOUR OWN PARKING LOT - Steps to beach and to this unique cedar -sided cottage with changehouse. 245 feet of lake frontage. Located Cutline Beach. Asking S69,500.00. Call Jack. PORT ALBERT AREA 2 BEDROOM Modular Home with an in- sulated worksho'p. Just a minute from the lake and river. Suitable for a year-round cot- tage, and priced to sell at S39,000.00. Call 0111 Brown today. 116 EAST ST. FAMILY 3 BEDROOM HOME • Professionally redecorated. Natural woodwork, country kitchen, new carpet in living and dining room. Sundeck to privacy yard. Excellent value. Please call Enid Bell for an appoint- ment, price & terms. BUILDING LOTS EXCELLENT residential building lots. Take your pick • 3 only - 521,000.00, S21,S00 and 522,000.00. Located on Bennett St. 70' fron- tage by 121'. Call Enid. SPACIOUS 4 bedroom family home, close to Square. "Could be duplexed," Large 82' x 132' lot. New siding, new roof and insulated under the CHIP program. Call Bill Brown for details. Maury Blair published a book entitled "Child of Woe" which describes his years as a child abuse victim. Blair was in town recently to talk about child abuse to'school children. aspects-of-it,"-wtiiJ h he.incorpocates into his public presentations, he said. .. Blair's story was onewith a happy en- ding. He is married with a family of his . own now and he says he enjoys a good relationship with his brothers and sisters his mother diedll years ago ). Despite the fact his life is so much better now, Blatt- says he -is not bitter and would -not - .change a thing from the early 'years. "I don't blame God for what people do. Even if I could grow up with parents who loved me and could give nie everything, •1 wouldn't go back now and change that - for the joy of what I'rn doing now." TI ALL POINTS REALTY INC. 234 Bayfield Rd... at Blake St., 524-2111 Ask about our21 Point MarketingPlan. Want To Be Spaced 'O A Lot For A Little t? Where can you buy all this for 869,900? 5 bedrooms, family room, Targe lot. Call Karen Scruton today to view at 524-2111 or 482-9716. 120487G) 'Reduced - 6 Acres No problem with this well kept bungalow. Features include a wide landscaped lot, base- ment finishing, private deck and pletity of room to garden. 1233870 mmediate Possession - '89,900 WHEN BUYING OR SELLING - CONTACT: BILL BROWN ENID BELL JACK CUMMINGS BILL CLIFFORD 524-7417 524-4928 524-9624 524-9090 Just a short drive to enjoy country living. 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