HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 1987-08-19, Page 4PAGE 4 —GODERICH SIGNAL -STAR. WEDNESDAY. AUGUST 19. 1987
Gassing up at Ed's Shell is normally an
uneventful, staid chore. Cruise in beside
a vacant pump, remove the nozzle, flip
the switch, unscrew the gas cap, insert
the nozzle and pump.
Despite my limited abilities, I have
successfully completed the venture
several times on my own. Occasionally, I
have reread the instructions just for safe-
ty sake, but the sequence of events is
pretty much committed to memory.
The station was relatively busy this
muggy, Monday afternoon and I watched -
out of general interest as several vehicles
bearing blue Michigan license plates pull-
ed in around me.
As a vehicle with two extremely
healthy young ladies parked nearby, 1
watched with greater interest while try-
ing not to exceed my $5 limit on the
unleaded brand.
My interest may have unknowingly
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111111111111111111111111111111111111111.1111111101111111
DAVE SYKES
slipped into a fixed, open-mouthed stare
as the healthy young ladies got out of the
vehicle. It must be stated here une-
quivocally that Monday was my first day
at work after a two-week vacation and
frolic, rest and inactivity had, basically,
reduced my normally sharp cerebral
parts to mush.
That I happened to be drooling and
staring by the gasoline pump had more to
do with my return from holidays than the
physical attributes of the young ladies.
Anyway, that's my assessment of the
situation and I'm sticking to that meagre
excuse.
But then, one of the young ladies ap-
proached with a broad smile that reduced
this agent to mere Jello. It caught me off
guard and in mid drool.
As she drew close, I had to wonder if
she was going to plant a deft knee in a
vital area in retaliation for those stolen,
furtive glances. My fears were unfounded
and my life, I reasoned, was not in any
real danger.
"Excuse me," she offered while flipp-
ing up her sunglasses. "But, now I feel
really silly, but would mind if I was, well,
'perfectly rude?"
"Ohhhhhhh, ohhhhhhh, ahhhh well," I
stammered while trying to compose
myself as visions of rude things ran
through my mushy brain. "I don't see
any real problem with that if you don't.
Let's just be perfectly rude."
"Well, actually, I was wondering if you
would mind if I took a look at your
guages?" she asked rather politely.
"My guages? "I responded rather
weakly in a high voice, my eyes widening.
at the prospect of having my guages in-
spected. "Ohhhhhh, ahhhhhhh gee, that
would be alright with me. No problem at
all. Just go ahead and check my
guages."
"Thanks," she offered while brushing
right past me and sticking her head in-
side the family Tempo. "I was curious to
see if your guage was any different."
"You mean in the car," I offered
rather embarassed. "I knew you meant
the guages in the car. Of course I did.
Sure the guage is different. Yours is
American. Yes. Sure there's a
difference."
"Oh, I see. You've got the kilometres
on top and the miles per hour below," she
observed matter-of-factly. "You know,
your guage is much better than mine."
"Gee, thanks," I replied, buoyed by the
fact that my guage was considered to be
above average. "That's very kind of you
to say that."
So I chatted with those healthy young
ladies and several of their friends for a
few minutes about their holiday in
Canada before departing for an unevent-
ful afternoon at work.
That has to mark the first time I've
ever worked up a sweat pumping gas.
And so what if gas is 47 cents a litre. I
only pumped about 12 litres on the park-
ing lot.
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50 FAR WE'VE* ADM/T7E1, 72 REFUGEES
F/ 'I 1 7E GOLF COURSE --- 3 f FR0"2 ME
. U/VnVER corM &E o - - 96 FROM NE YAC(
CLUB mo.. 24 FROM
Good decision
The Goderich Police Commission, in deciding to increase the manpower of the local police
force, has made a good decision in every respect.
Goderich Police Officers, residents of this town and the commission itself, have for too
long been putting up with an unfortunate situation. With officers off on lengthy absences due
to illness or injury, and others absent due to annual holidays, the town has been inadequate-
ly policed for several months.
Problems created by the situation ranged from complaints of overwork from officers to
an increase in the local crime rate. Neither situation was acceptable and were creating ten-
sions between the police, the commission and the public.
This move, along with the promoting of two current officers to the rank,of Acting Sergeant
should go a long way toward easing the rumblings of discontent among those involved and
providing the citizens of Goderich with the level of protection they are entitled to expect.
P.R.
Learn safety habits
Motor vehicle accidents are the leading cause of death for school-age children the Ontario
Safety League says. With schools due to open in a few short weeks, now is the time to talk to
your children about safe pedestrian and cycling habits.
If your child is attending school for the first time, or if you have moved to a new area, it is
a good idea to first find the quickest and safest route to school. Then walk with your child
over the route a few times before school begins, pointing out the various signs and signals.
Remember, children tend to copy their parent's behaviour. If you jaywalk, or cross on a red
light, so will they.
Teach children to cross only at corners, and not to dash out between parked cars. They are
safer if they cross at signalled crossings, or corner's where a crossing guard is stationed.
Children are also generally safe if they walk to and from school in` groups. Discourage
your children from walking alone, or taking short cuts through strange neighbourhoods.
If your children ride buses, teach them not to roughhouse while boarding or alighting. If
possible, meet them at the bus stop and walk home with them.
Make sure that your children understand the rules of the road for bicycles. Check your
child's cycling skills before letting him or her cycle to and from. school.
Dress children in light or bright coloured clothes on grey days. If they must be out after
dark, look into purchasing reflective clothing or tape. In rural or poorly lit areas, supply
each child with a flashlight.
Here are a few other tips for safety on the streets for children:
Children are adventurous. They will frequently devise their own short cuts and travel pat-
terns. Get to know your child's habits and friends better by asking them to take you around
the neighbourhood: to the store, to school, to friend's houses to the playground.
Emphasize that children should not talk to strangers on the street. Make sure that they
know to report to you any person who approaches them on the street.
Cute though they may be, clothes with the child's name on the outside are not a good idea.
Too many children respond trustingly to adults who call them by name.
Make sure your children know their complete names, address, and phone number.
If your child carries his or her own house key, don't mark it with your name and address.
if it is lost, the finder has all the information needed to enter your house at will.
In a civilized society such as ours, only
two ancient, barbaric rites of passage re-
main for the "sophisticated" North
American male.
One, is the daily practice of rising each
morning and scratching the entire width
and breadth of one's face with a sharp
object. This bizzare ritual, known by the
innocuous name of "shaving," is one for
which the original purpose has long since
been lost. Why bother?
As you can readily acertain with a
glance at the image which accompanies
this column, I have long since recanted of
any further participation in this par-
ticular form of self -punishment.
Which brings us to the second ritual,
namely the practice of men banding
together to commisserate with a fellow
male who has engaged himself to offer
his nuptials to a member of the other
gender.
In some quarters this gathering is
known as a "Bacheolor Party," in others,
a "Stag". Whatever the name, the prac-
tice has grown somewhat rarer in these
times in favor of the co-ed versionf
popularly known as a "Stag and Doe".
Why the bachelor party was named for
a member of the deer family, I really
can't say – unlesg it's because any such
event is always attended by at least one
large person invariably nicknamed
"Moose".
Since no woman has ever been invited
to witness a Stag, except perhaps from
the inside of a large cake where the view
is undoubtably not the best, I thought I
would take the opportunity to enlighten
Horticultural novelty, siamese
tomatoes weigh two pounds
25 YEARS AGO
August 23, 1962:
A horticultural novelty in the form of
Siamese tomatoes, with a total weight of two
pounds, is the prideful display of Mr. Amos
Andrew at his dairy farm on West Street.
The twon heavy -weight, vege-fruits are firn-
ly joined by a hidden umbilical cord, or
something, with the plant stem barely show-
ing at one side. The tomatoes were grown in
Mr. Andrew's garden on South Street. The
design of the united fruits follows the pat-
tern of an old-fashioned top -and -bottom loaf
of bread.
The Council of the village of Lucknow is
protesting the annoyance to district
residents caused by the breaking of the
sound barrier by high flying planes. A pro-
test has been officially lodged with the
Department of National Defense. Com-
plaints have been received at Lucknow of
damage to commercial roofs, windows, etc.,
by the blasts from the planes believed to be
from a USA base.
Rev. E.A. Cooper, minister of the Free
Methodist Church, will preach his farewell
sermon on Sunday. He will be leaving next
week for Hamilton where he has been ap-
pointed minister of Buchanan Park Church.
The Oesch sisters trio from Zurich will pro-
vide special music for the occassion. The in-
terior of the church has been tastefully
decorated and a large congregation was
present last Sunday for the first service
since renovations were completed. On Sun-
day, September 2, the new minister will be
here. He is Rev. R. Glen Pelfrey, BA, BD,
them about the goings-on at such events
as the one I attended on the weekend.
Contrary to popular perception, there
are no "dirty movies" shown at Stags.
Oh sure, occasionally some enlightend
organizers will procure an eight
millimetre projector to show educational
films on common mating practices, but
these are shown soley for the benefit of
the groom -to -be, so he will not have to at-
tend his own honeymoon uninformed
about such matters.
The second common misconception is
that gambling takes place at bachelor
parties. Nothing could be further from
the truth. Why do women find it so hard
to believe that a group of men could
spend their time from sundown one day
to sunup the next, playing a friendly
game of euchre, with matchsticks for
stakes?
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LOOKING BACK
recently returned from missionary work in
Jamaica.
50 YEARS AGO
August 20, 1937:
While at work in the harvest fields near
Clinton yesterday, Fergus Van Egmond,
Hullet Township, and Harold Taylor, his
hired man, found three balloons, one of
them still partially inflated, lying among the
oat stooks. A note attached stated that they
were sent up August 11 from the Lansing,
Michigan, playground circus and requested
that the finder return them to that address.
Mr. Van Egmond complied with the request.
The first game of the Huron -Perth
Baseball League playoffs will be played at
Zurich on Monday night, when the local nine
will meet the Zurich squad. Zurich ad-
ministered a 10-5 drubbing to Clinton on
Wednesday and seem intent on capturing
the pennant. They are the top team in the
league with Clinton, Goderich and Crediton
following in the above order.
Prize lists for the fall exhibition of the
Goderich Agricultural Society are issued
and copies can be obtained from the
secretary, Mr. C.E. Groves. The list con-
tains many special prizes in various classes.
The directors at their meeting on Saturday
night last made arrangements for a pro-
from
this
angle
Patrick Raftis
With such cammraderie taking place,
why would anyone need the added incen-
tive of $100 pots keep them playing
gram before the grandstand for opening
night, Tuesday, September 21. The artists,
of metropolitan standard, will be entirely
new to a Goderich audience and a first-class
entertainment i5 assured. Mr. W.H.
Ranesbottom of Walkerton has been engag-
ed as started for the trials of speed to be held
on Wednesday afternoon. There are three
events in the program – 2.20, 2.28 and free-
for-all, with aggregate prizes of $350.
70 YEARS AGO
August 23, 1917:
At a meeting of the public school board on
Thursday evening, Mr. Charles Cook was
appointed caretaker of Victoria school at a
salary of $600. It was arranged to advertise
for a kindergarten teacher to take the place
of Miss Dickson who resigned to take a posi-
tion in Dawson City.
Mayor Munnings has been informed by
Mr. Thomas Stothers, trustee of the OWS
Railway, that the material sold to the Pro-
vincial Hydro Commission is turning out
better than was expected and that probably
about $200,000 will be realized from the sale.
This is considerably better than was ex-
pected and the information is very
acceptable.
The West is not going to receive much help
from Ontario this year, if other districts
send no more than Goderich. About half -a -
dozen left her on the harvester excursions
today. The next excursion will be on August
30 and, as the harvest here will be more than
nearly finished by that time, a greater
number of men may then be free to go West.
throughout the night.
Many people also believe the real pur-
pose of the Stag is to get the guest of
honor blind drunk. This is. preposterous.
In fact the last time I saw the guest of
honor at a Stag, he did not appear to me
to be in the least intoxicated despite the
lateness of the hour. As 1 recall, he was
actually resting quite peacefully on the
open tailgate of a moving pickup truck.
How could anyone accuse such a serene
soul of being over the legal limit.
So, how that I have irrevocably refuted
the entanglement of myth and misinfor-
mation which has long surrognded the
fabled Bachelor Bash, I would like so-
meone to return the favor.
Can anyone out there tell me what real-
ly goes on at a "Lingerie Party"? And,
how can I get myself invited to one?
Aww c'mon, I told you!
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