HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 1986-02-26, Page 42Showcase '86, page 16
triedo
RealitieS of marriagecan get
BY SUSAN HUNDERTMARK •'When couples come to see me about , These sessions attempt to help a couple w
Marriage is serious business. It's a getting married, the first thing I ask is deepen its commitment by exploring
lifetime commitment with its Share of both 'How much longer do you think you'll various topics, discovering areas of con -
sorrow and joy. It's a joining of two people live?' They usually say 50 or 60 years so 1 flirt and skills to deal with them.
who must cope together with their remind them that their vows say, 'Ali the "We do not push beliefs at you but
strengths, weaknesses, desires, ambitions, days of our life,"'says Father Hardy.' rather encourage you to understand each
goals, values, finances, sex, children and When I marry them, I presume they'll other and how your attitudes affect your
family and all other aspects of daily life. stay married. So, if they don't see inar- relationship," says the pamphlet.
But, too often the realities of marriage • riage preparation as,important, 1 have to Or, they nay attend a weekend retreat
get lost in the confetti and glitter of a wed- worry about what they do see. They may with Catholic Engaged Encounter in Lon-
ding, which is really only one day out of a see a wedding as one tremendous game,' don for $85.
lifetime, says Father Joseph Hardy, of St. he says. The weekend retreat is designed to help
Peter's Roman Catholic Church in
Goderich. Because marriage courses are not couples "concentrate exclusively on one
That's why Father Hardy expects the available in Huron County, Father Hai'dy another, free of the tensions and pressures
couples he marries to take ma iage offers two options to engaged couples. and interruptions of the world"and to
p They may attend five sessions covering .:'give the couples planning marriage an
preparation„�ourses. In fact, the Roman
Catholic Church has been offering mar- topics such as finances, legal aspects, con- opportunity to dialogue honestly and inten-
riage courses for the past 40 years. But, flirt and commitment, faith in marriage; sively about their prospective lives
the church's increased insistence on sexual intimacy and the family and values together."
courses has resulted from growing divorce in marriage at the Christian Renewal Cen-. Two Catholic couples and a priest run
statistices tre in London.for $25. the discussions after which couples
.a
att.!
separate to write down a list of questions
to be answered and then come together to
read each other's answers.
"When a couple knows each other, they
presume they know what the other will
say. But, when they discuss what they've
put down on paper, they [nay find areas or
agreement or disagreement that they've
never talked about before," says Father
Hardy.
The courses also emphasize how to
argue in a constructive way and why com-
munication is so important in a marriage.
They also talk about how the church or
faith in God enters into a marriage but
couples don't have to be Roman Catholic to
take the courses.
Often Father Hardy sees that couples
who are most interested in marriage
preparation courses are the best can -
Turn to page 17
•
Rules for second -time -around weddings are changing
Nearly 30 percent of all marriages to-
day are remarriages. But the number of
remarriages isn't all that's growing. So is
the spirit of celebration.
Traditionally, couples embarking on se-
cond and third marriages faced strong
pressure to keep the wedding a small,
quiet affair bearing little resemblance to
a first wedding. Etiquette books address-
ed the subject with an abundance of
negatives: "The remarrying bride does
not wear white", "a second engagement.
is never announced in the newspapers."
All that has changed, says Bride's
•
O
ite
IVA?.
Vid
magazine. The emphasis now is a lot Tess romantically long and lacy gown, in party as you wish, complete with all the
on rules, a lot more on the importance of white or your favorite color. The only ac- wedding traditions — a receiving line, the
sharing a joyful new beginning surround- cessory best omitted is the veil - long a first dance, the ceremonial cutting of the
ed by family and friends. symbol of youth. A more sophisticated cake and a champagne toast. A warm
way to welcome guests is to head up the
Some of the magazine's suggestions for -
a remarrying couple:
eAs the bride, be a little bit selfish at
this time, Wear an engagement ring. In-
dulge in a beauty day at the salon - com-
plete with lavish hair care, facial and
manicure.
•Feel free to marry in the outfit of your
choice. The traditionally simple, cream-
colored suit still is lovely - but so is a
ntA
p.•
choice might be a hat, cloche or wreath
-of flowers.
•If either of you has children, try to in-
clude them in as many plans as you can.
They'll feel especially important playing
a role in your ceremony. Depending on.
their ages, they can be ring bearers, or
flower girls, bridesmaids, ushers or
honor attendants.
•Make your reception as extravagant a
receiving line yourselves, rather than
leaving it to, your• parents. They, in turn,
will be free to circulate among guest.
•Don't feel a, honeymoon isn't
necessary this time around. Getting mar-
ried is tiring, even if you've been through
it before. Plan a trip just for the two of
you first, then a group honeymoon with
your children so you'll all feel like a
family.
WEDDING
TRADITIONS
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