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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 1984-09-26, Page 3F ATURE Huron Centre for Children and Youth staff members held a day long workshop with Dr. Howard Irving last week. Dr. Irving is an expert in divorce mediation counselling. Taking part in the seminar were (left to right) Huron Centre Director Don Keillor, Laurie Thomson, Dr. Irving, Sandy Stuart, Doug Reberg, Janie Gattinger, Nancy McLeod and Shirley Hackman (in front). Huron Centre counsellors have been working with divorce mediation ser- vices for the past year. (Shelley McPhee photo) Divorce eiati®r�• - an alternative A pilot project, the first of its kind in this and puts it back to the family. area, it attempts to help separated, divorc- `The family are the ones who have to live ed and divorcing couples make mutual out- with the consequences of the decision and of -court settlements for child custody and . mediagtion project, lets them make the decision," Dr. access. said. Dr. Irving calls the Huron Centre Irvin e added, "We try to get the smoke out of "an innovative program." .the situation. We're not interested in - she's Counsellors at the Centre work with this and he's that - we're not interested in couples to develop plans that will be in the marital behaviour. We only want them to be best interests of their children. The good parents." mediators act in a partisan manner, as ad- Mediation stresses that divorcing couples visers for couples who want to consider the and children are still a family and they best future of their children. should continue to worktogether as a unit. Mediation involves individual and joint Facts show that 70 to 80 per cent of the meetings with counsellors and couples. couples who use mediation reach satisfac- After as few as five sessions, agreements tory, durable agreements. are made and lawyers finalize the Let- tlements. Mediation promotes personalized agreements, that reflect all aspects of the couple's and children's lives. It encourages joint custody, where both parents establish equal, but flexible, responsibilities, geared specifically to meet the child's needs. By Shelley McPhee They seemed like a perfect couple. They were happily married, financially stable and the parents of three young children. However their 15 -year marriage ended in divorce court. Marital bliss became an emo- tional war zone. The happy family was divided and, the children became involved in a painful situation that they couldn't," understand. When couples separate and divorce, their children often suffer the most. They become innocent victims in their parents' arguments and custody battles. Children who have watched their parents' split up often feel rejected and unloved, torn apart and guilty. Some feel that their parents are forcing them to choose between mom or dad. Others feel abandoned and frightened as they watch the secure founda- tion of their family crumble. Dr. Howard Irving is working to change the system. Through a new alternative known as divorce mediation he is making divorce less of a bombshell and more of a peaceful compromise. The prime objective in divorce mediation is to create a amiable agreement between separated couples, one that allows them to act in the best interests of their children. Pilot project "A large percentage of children out there are suffering because they become paivns in their parents' battles," says Dr. Irving. The University of Toronto professor was the guest speaker at the Huron Centre for Children and Youth's annual meeting in Goderich last week. Divorce mediation is not a new concept for the Clinton based centre. For the past year the Centre has been working to develop such a program. Litigation junkies In contrast, couples who battle in court often return to court, time and time again. Dr. Irving calls them, "litigation junkies - they become addicted to the process. They believe it must always be a win -loss situa- tion, not a compromise." Mediation doesn't exclude lawyers. In fact, counsellors advise couples to each No winners, no losers have legal representation. Lawyers help Mediation has been called the positive ap- finalize agreements that are developed proach to divorce. It deals with compromise through mediation. Dr. Irving believes that and understanding, unlike the court system mediation counsellors and lawyers should where winners and losers are determined. have a team work approach to divorce set - Dr. Irving explained that divorce court tlements. puts couples at opposite ends, "When one The ultimate goal of mediation is family party starts to fight, the other will likely life after divorce. Mediation doesn't mean fight back." that couples have to like each other, says Divorce, he noted, "Is not like Monopoly. Dr. Irving, but it promotes that idea that There is life after' separation and divorce. adults can put their hostilities aside, for the No one can win in an adversary situation. sake of their children. They get back through the kids." :'We're not advocating that they have to The mediation alternative stresses that go out for Sunday brunch with the kids," he co-operation between parents can exist noted. after divorce. The process asks parents to "In the final analysis it has to be the think primarily of their children. It takes children and the parents who have t� live the responsiblity from the lawyer's hands with the agreement," Dr. Irving said. Huron Centre offers mediation program Services like the Huron Centre for Children and Youth may obtain more assistance with mediation programs through a new government funded program. Family Mediation Canada is a new organization that will promote and develop divorce counselling programs. Headed by University of Toronto professor, Dr. Howard Irving, the service is being funded by with a sizable federal government grant. At the annual meeting of the Huron Cen- tre, Dr. Irving explained that Family Mediation Canada will develop training courses and promote and study programs, like the one at the Huron Centre for Children and Youth. Family Mediation Canada will develop standards and ethics for mediation services and will monitor the practice. While mediation it a relatively iww t on- cept in Canada, Dr. Irving explained that in Europe and the United States, the out-of- court settlement process has been very suc- cessful. Laws in California state that mediation is mandatory. Divorce cases are not allowed into the court room unless the couple has previously had mediation counselling. In that state, the service is financed through the tax system. Anyone who files for divorce,in California is taxed $10 for each filing. This money is earmarked for mediation program funding. In Canada, through Dr. Irving's work, mediation is becoming a recognized alter- native to divorce court. In 'Toronto the Legal Aid agency is cur- rently studying mediation. A comparative study between the court system and media- tion settlement will analyse cost different es and final results between the two systems. According to Dr. Irving, mediation means less psychological stress on children, it creates lasting settlements, and costs less. A 1983 study in the United States showed that if litigation cases used the mediation alternative, $9 -million in court fees alone could have been saved. - I)r. Irving met with staff from the Huron. Centre for a day -long seminar on September 20. For the Huron Centre counsellors, the workshop offered additional instruction and re-inforcement of pilot project. For Huron County couples, the mediation counselling offered at the Huron Centre for Children and Youth, provides an alter- native. It allows divorcing couples the op- tion of solving issues relating to the future of their children without court room hostilities. Unit course will help smokers butt out ' Hospital, beginning at 7:30 p.m. For more information, or to pre -register, call 482-3416. CLINTON - Smoking can kill. So efforts by the Huron County Health Wednesday, October 3 at the Clinton Public Unit to arrange a program to help people kick the habit will be good news to smokers who want to beat their addiction. The program is organized by Cheryl Gilbert of the Health Unit and starts Oc- tober 3 in the Clinton Public Hospital con- ference room. It consists of five evenings and a follow up evening in November. A number of speakers will be featured, covering subjects from the non-fatal effects of smoking with Dr. T.A. Steed of Clinton to the first hand experiences of Dr. R.G. Lomas of Goderich as a former smoker. Dr. Lomas will also be discussing the motiva- tion behind smoking and quitting. Stan Hill of the University of Western On- tario will also be speaking about the substitution of physical activities for smok- ing and another speaker may be featured. A variety of films and handout material will also be included. "We want to create a lot of self- awareness," said Cheryl Gilbert of the pro- gram. The program has been based on two others developed by other health organiza- tions. The Porcupine Health Unit in the Tim- mins area and the Lambton County In- teragency Council on Stroking and Health provided some of the basis for the course with the Larnbton agency claiming a 60 per cent success rate. This is an outstanding rate as most programs can claim a 20 to 25 per cent rate of success. However, the health unit employee noted that, "if the motivation is not within them (participants), then these tools won't help. It's like fitness. Somebody can tell you to get fit but if you're not motivated..." Another clfnin, was held earlier in Huron Ct unty and "the evaluations were pretty positive at the end," she noted. The upcoming program will begin on NEW FROM BIOTI-ERM HEALTHY MAKE -UF For All Skin Types BIOTHERM OFFERS 5 GUARANTEES . Nondrying formula 2. Allows skin to breathe 3. Allergy tested 4. Composed of materials carefully tested to ensure perfect tolerance 5. Bacteriologically controlled GODER,I,GH SIGNAL -STAR, WEDNESDAY, SEPTE144BER 26,1884—PAGE 3 IE s' - at iY Pharmacy 14 SHOPPERS SQUARE 24_ 7241 FREE GIFT with any 51500 make-up purchase GODERICH cJ rnuESWR LATEX PEARL FOILS WHI1E PERLATEX 4 llTIIES ACRYL,C LATEX SA 7tli' 1ltT INTERIOR . iCO-3117TV 4 LITRES P 4ITE Free Tinting in a variety of 250 pastel shades. Exterior Acrylic Latex Flat (260-110) White 1 999 4 Litre Want to kick the habit? The Huron County Health Unit is sponsoring the five week course for smokers who want to quit. 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