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HomeMy WebLinkAboutExeter Times, 1913-6-19, Page 7JOKES BY THE TOBBLERS HUMOR FRon TILE 'MOUTHS OF LITTLE CHILDREN. Boys and Girls Say .Some Rea/IY Witty Thinge Quite Dino. eently. ,IEALTH AWAITS GOOD DIGESTION When the Stomach is Wrong the E, Whole Body Suffers—How to Keep It ,Healthy. Indigestion is oae of tatO DIOSt distressing maladies afflicting man- kindi Tho, stomachis enable to Stories of children have a charm perform thc work nature calls epen all their own, and there, is a reason it to do, and the resnit iseXtreme --the humor of a child's remark is pain after eating, nausea, heart - unconscious. burn, painful fluttering of the Willie, aged four, had been in- her ick headache, and often a vited out to tea with his mother, loathing of food, even though the and, while he was beiiag dressed for sufferer is. half starved. People the occasion, the delights in store with poor digestiion aro prone to for him had been depicted in glow- try all sorts of experiments to aid ing terms, the process of cligestion, and tberei While his mother eliatted withlis only one way in which the trouble agitheir hostess, Willie sat in eolemn can be aeibially enred, and that is eilence, and at last the lady of the through the blood. That is why tho honee rozei ow I mast bring in. tea," she . announced; then added: "Would Willie like some tea?" flis Star of floe. Thechild eyed her in As went, and, in a deeply -hurt tone, reiSponded "Why, that's what we came for Outside it was onowing hard, and the teaoher eoasidered it ben duty to warn her charges, "Boys end girls should be lieu eareful to avoid 'colds at this timo," the said widen -lady, ".1 had a darl, ing little brother, only seven years old. One day he went out in the snow with his new sledge, end caught eold. Pneumonia set in, and iu threo days he was dead," A hush fell upon the seboolaroorn; then A youngster in the baelt row stood up and Asked ; "Where's his sledge'? It is to be feared that Tommy was not so kind to his little brother Robert as he ought to have been, .1Ie tried hard to shake him off, so that be might go and play with older boys; but Robert stuck close, "You should be ashamed to treat your little brother in that way," admonished father. "Ile ought to be sacred to you." Tommy made no ropy; but later, when, ho believed himself to be free from parental observation, he ad, &eased Robert fiercely: 'iilways taggin' after me If you weren't sacred, I'd break your faee for you," Edith, aged six, had just been told that she bad now two little baby brothers—twins. She looked thoughtful ---very thoughtful. At last she &poke; "That's funny! Minnie and I both prayed for a baby brother, but we meant the same one I" Their Selection. Another story told by two little 'girls:, this time on the, Way from school, is equally worth recording. They had quarrelled, and Mabel became vindietiiie. "I don't care," she said. "You are only an adopted child. Your mother and father aren't really yours?" "Don't care, either I" retorted Jenny. "My father and - mother picked me- out I Yours had to take you just as you came I" The inspector had called to in- spect. Had he known how well Miss Primly, the school -teacher, had all her little boys and girls trainedhe would have been on his -guard. As it was, he eyed • the youngsters benignantly, rocking back and forth cia his heels, and with his hands thrust deep in his pockets. , "Now, children," he begane,in n uctuoits tones, "I wonder if yoa know who I am?" There was an expectant silence and one small hand was raised. "Well," said the inspector en- couragingly, "who am 17" "You're no gentleman," was the piping reply, "or you wouldn't have your hands Pi your pockets I" tiorce of Example. tooie treatment with Dr. Williams' Pink Pills curea even tho mast ob- stinate vases of badigestion. They make, the rich, red blood that strengthens the eitomach and its nerree, -anis enabling it to do its -work, The proecee la simple, hitt tho result means A good appetite and inereased health and pleasure in life, Mr„ R. Luesier, of Sorel, Que., offers ample proof of this. Ho says; "For several years I was a sufferer from indigestion, Anti the torture I suffered after xneale was often almost uneadurablo. Often would go without a meal rather than undergo the sufforing that fol- lowed, Aocompanying the trouble I had headaches, dizzinees, and of- t -en a feeling of nausea, All the time I was taking one 'medicine af- ter another i the hope of getting hut without email Finally I road Of tho ease of A similar stif- ferer cured through the 'use of Dr. Williams' Pink Pillnd I deeided to try them, I took therpillssteadi- • Lor about six weeks with resitit that I was fully mired, and could eat anything I eared for. I may, 4 that I have nob since had any •Itrn al the trouble," you ari> suffering from indigea- tion do not Waste tme exporimerst- but begin to eure yonrself to- day with Dr. Piuk Pills, which go right to the root of the trouble through the blood. Sold by all medicine dealers or by mail at 50 cents a box or six boxes for $2 from The Dr. Williams' Medicine Co,, Broekville, Ont, BOW TO PRESIMVE EGGS. Can Be Rept Practically Fresh for Eight The following is taken from the Farm and Fireside "There are just two methods of storing eggs for future use that are worth considering. The first of these is to place them in a cold- toralee plant until needed. The other is to keep them by the use al water glass, or silicate of soda. This is more convenient,, and for the family costs less. "Eggs kept in a solution of wa- ter glass for eight months are prac- tically as good for' every kitchen purpose as freslr eggs, except for the purpose of boiling. To be boil- ed successfully a small hole should be made with a needle in the large end of each egg, to permit the exit of air from the egg, which other- wise will burst the shell. "Water glass is not a preserva- tive. The eggs keep in it by rea- son of being hermetically sealed in their shells. The eggs to be kept should be perfectly fresh and clean. It is better that the eggs be infer- tile, though this is not necessary. 'Another requisite is that the re- neeptacle in which the eggs are placed be of stone, earthenware or wood and not ofmetal, which might rust and discolor the eggs, and that it be perfectly clean. The eggs naay `13e stored all at one time, or as gathered front day to day. . "-Water glass may be bought at any drug store at from 50 cents to $2 per gallon. We buy it in tins containing about a quart and cost fifteen cents each. These tins will preserve fifteen or sixteen dozen eggs of ordinary size. Each quart of the fluid should be diluted with eleven quarts of water, boiled 30 minutes and allowed to cool before mixing. After mixing pour into the receptacle which you have pre- pared. The eggs are now placed in the water 'glass. We generally plape them in with the little end down. The fluid should come three inches over the eggs when all are in the recentacie.'' Jane , Was the elder, and, at the party, telt responsible—for the he- , , havior of her younger sister a? 3. Madge.. - Therefore, it., shocked her terribly. when Madge proceeded to put hard-boiled 'egg in to- her mouth---' whole. St,raightway Jane. reseifrom ir Win. Dillon Otter, li.C.B., Geil neral Otter, or Sir Wliam Dillon Otter, K.C.B., 0,N.O., as he is now, is the most widely known of the five Canadians honored with knighthood 'in the list of King's birthday honors recently. Re is the "Grand Old Man" •of the Cana- dian military service. )Efc started as a private in the Queen'e Own Rifles, and served in the supnres- eion of the Fenian Raids in 1366- Ile also served in the Northewest Rebellion, in 18$5, and commanded the first Canadian contirigent to Smith Africa in 1899. That ieto say every time, sin sine awayback in the early sixties, when Canadian troops have beea called on to fight the battles of Canada or the Em- pire, General Otter was in the cam- her place .at. the table; ivalloci over , 1110 dinner "bY. tihe''t°11° ° 1)110 be the b'tiinea fowl has been class- ed as belonging to the same family Ai woman can make pie, out f d f wl He -has proved a,lnioste any old tiling. e omes o „ to the (lelinquent,.and adrniniteed r • , ' • • .• a sound box. on.tlie eat ,11„Ladge had a tearfail tale to tell her mother .When they got arid'. 'Mother remonstrated ' with Jane. , • • • 'How could you, dear 1'' ,she asked;"A0din publio, too t'? was the reply; •.`ilE: just ...wanted 't.p. show • them that, eVeniiif Madge .•rbehaved • ' , badly I, at . least, haiveipoid naanners., ---London Answers. e Have Been An Untold Benefit New Brunswick Woman ?raises Dodd's Kidney She Suiferied for Four Years, and the Innittor Cotild Not Help Ile But Dedd's Eldney PiUs Gav Her a New Lease of Life. Porton, Carleton GO., B., June 10 (Special). --"I find ,c,old's Eid- ney Pills the beet kidney medicine htlYe ellOr nad. Thev laa.ve itc,en of witold benefit to me." The speaker is Mrs. John S. Dick- inson, of this place, She is enthu- siastic in her praises of the great Canadian kidney "remedy, and net without reason "I suffered from kidney trouble at started in a cold," She contin- ues. "And for four years 1 was never free of it. I Was treated by a. doctor, but he did not seem to be able to do nee much good. 'I had rheumatism and neural- gia, and my joiuts were stiff my useles wore eramiPe4, and 1wes alwaystired and rierii0114, 1per red freely with the slightest ex ertiooi 1 was depressed and low spirited, my linibe swelled, and had a dragging sensation aeross the loins, "Nine boxes of Dodd's Efdnay Pifla made a pew woman Qf Aro not Mrs,. Dieldnsonis. spire Lorfts t1106e of any rundown worn- out woman' They are also the symptoms of kidney disease, Dodd's Kidney Pills give new WO tO run -dawn women by curing their kidneys. Sir Wtflia He was appointed and in 1910 became InspeeLOl General of the Canadian Militia 0 the expiration of the term of Mae jor-Geueral Sir Perey being the first time in the history f Canada that our senior officer was a Canadian. In December, al% Generti, Otter retired from the serviee, and was succeeded by General Cotton, chief of thO Tanen- to distriet. General Otter has been a strict diseiplinarian, but he has been very popular and has tivo combination of edesty and daring which wins the ospect 4:4 anon, especially in antine, out door work of any kind. knighthood is richly deserved. CHILDHOOD COLIC COMPLETELY CURED N'a other medicine -will so quid:1y euro colic as will Baby's Own Tab- lets. They regulate tho bowels, sweeten the stomach and drive out every traee of this trouble* Con- cerning them Mrs. Wm. A. Smith, Itockhaven, Sask., writes: "I like Baby's Own Tablets and elways keep them in the 110uSei. Whenever my baby has eolie I give her a couple of Tablets and she is !soon well again. I know of no other medicine for little one,s to equal them." The Tablets are sold by medicine dealers or by mail at '25 cents a box from The Dr. -Williams! Medicine Co., Brockville, Ont. BLOOD CRYSTALS VARY. Studies of Prof. Reichert of Char aeteristies of Men. 'Prof. Edward T. Reichert has an- nounced interesting diseoveries of blood characteristics. He says that as soon as he has completed his ex- periments he will be able to differ- entiate between the blood of a Chinaman, Indian, negro and other races. Dr. Reichert says he has found tha,t it is possible to tell positively the blood Crystals of one animal from those of another. He ,clescribes his discovery by enumerating some, of the animals that he has re-classi- fied. In the old method of classify- ing animals according to their tribes, the bear was always placed in the same family as the dog, the wolf and the fox. By the new me- thod ,of comparing the blood crys- tals of those animals, Dr. Reichert has proved to his satisfaction that the bear is related closely to the sea lions, and the seals, and is not re- lated to the dog, the wolf, or the fox. You can't judge the qua ity In the ,bird. world Dr Reicher _ The One -Terns Idea, i"Don't ivou think it would be a, "c;CPC1, thing if cur legislators were tin4Oto one .terill eta on ✓ ias also to his satisfaction- that the guinea fowl's blood' crystals are like the oStrich's. Dr. Reichert's report decla.res that the crystals of man's blood are light, rectangular plates and rods, and those of the „ orang- outang, the chimpanzee, the bai • boon and the monkey, Are nearly the Same form but Still se different that each can be:distinguished from the, others, In the same -way the blood crYstals'of,the gorilla can be .diatinguished from 'those of the erang'-iontang,, and they have a ceri‘ likeriessitio- those ofitha negro,. ...smissemommarasammail ReoeiftYthegifobriowagoersdst:aa,nitha'bscUltinteeSathe m f waste matter fro,the 9qdiwhich c°11Cet° •th,er.q /.9t Tici el at ie4st once adalY, it deake and potters! t •ebod ca n biliousness, in todiald sick heroii. tind other harsh r .011 t irritate the delicate I bowels, Dr. &torte's Ellt1 Root Mk( entirely vegetab the bowels effectivelyI?, thoiat *teak. ening, sickening or griping. Use r. M ors eLs 1 11 9 Wise man 'who an oeeds m sed of equal parts of ad cheek, nian will get along p wall e keeps his heart warm Lis head cool. Some men are more teusibive to the toueh than others, as many thronie, borrower has discovered. We CAO get ueed to anything. The longer a man is married tbo less he seems to mind it. The fellow who blow bis own horn is always it soloist. Charity begins at home, even when the home doesn't need it. liven the eontinual chringina of one's mind is apt to wear it outi Betting is a fool's argument, but we don't realize it until we lose. The people who are quick to take offence have no difficulty in finding a plentiful supply, It's a good thing to make your money grow' but a -dollar always looks largestwhen it'sithe only one you have, If we had our lives to live over, it would enable us to make our mistakes easier. Success is always due to our own efforts; failure we can blame on someone else. Even the people Nyho realize that the wages of in is death console themselves with the thought that payday is a long way off, Travel will broaden some fellows almost as much as a padded vest will. It isn't ignorance of the la,w that defeats a client so often as the ig- norance of his lawyer. A woman hates to feel that she is old enough to be justified in ly- ing about her age. The girl who thinks no man is good enough for her is quite sur- prised to find that the men are satisfied to have her think so, rx. Money a man has saved repre- sents the good times he didn't have. LIFt OFF IN SHEETS Hair Dry and Lifeless. Almost MI Hair Out on One Side of Head. Used Odic= Soap and Cuticura Ointment, Hair Coming in Nicely and Scales All one 176 Adelaid.o St. St, .10M; oared ray little boy or a bad case of dan- druff with:. cutieur4, Soap arid Oiintinenr, d andr romied on ids bead soon after birth. 1eio ints VR. -4 dry aria iirQ- Citskes aod aiiriasti cub on ono aide of Ms b.end... 1 vaashed the lit, e head twice a claY with werna V.(,? l's and Cult - Soap; drieil It; and Writ ato otichra Ointment mad in about ea hoar took a very fine little t.a.mab., and the dandre would lift oft in sheets, Aga some of ti,, hair woadtteoe too, Then I woaldt pht Sante Ottiicursi Ointment on auci lopes pain, tat time to rasa tho beati agahl, VOr.--tt a iiimo be.4 et Ckitieura Ointment with the CutleinA Soap mid Ws tAr coming in nicely and, eba welts ail Celle, Today he llatt s II -ICS a head of Lair and ra free from dal3Oraft es you wouta (Sicaed) Mrs. Cir,,E'essr,iidiir 411610 nIsof Ctiagariii Poan Anti tie= of Cutieura, Onxp.5 are °No Mit4P4044 trben alt oleo besroiled„ Ovid by druggists And dealers Averpsfierei Liberia sample el eanti planed free. th- ati-p, Address poet card 'Potter Drag Com., Dent. 32Di Doetoa., 11. 8, 4,* ANTS THAT BARE BISCUITS. Dalmatian SpecieThat Under- stands Cookery. The extraordinary habits of the harvester ant have long been known to naturalists. Certain spe- cies not only harvest and store in 1 granaries the seeds upon -which :they, feed, but actually plat and cultivate an animal crop of their food iseodsi Still more remarkable stories are id of an ant that is Common in Dalmatia, the Messier barbatus, According to Dr. Neger, of the Dresden Forestry Sekool, tiffs ant not .only cuts leaves and gathers secds, but actually makes bread or biscuit! The, seeds are first sprout- ed, thee carried into the .situ and dried, then taken back t dergrotind enamiiers, where they are chewed ilito a dough, The doughis then finariy mode into tiny cakes, ;chic:1i are baked ie the see, then carefitiiy, stored for filtilre UF -e, From these oliservatiions it would appear that, the, art of cookery is EOL confined to the human race, All -eking is done h, the sun, whether ;lis the ripening oi fruit or in the iilesid in a stove. Ihe VACCINE TO ROUT iriiiviloio? hieago Health COramissiolicr Pre- dicts Its Eradication. adication of typhoid fever near future through Art mid vaccination, is the nrodZc.' of Health Coromissiotie Young, of Chicago. After several years af exper ents hy tho governments of the United States, Great Britain, France, and Germany, more than 100,000 immunizations f aern "the great American curse" were re- ported. These conclusienS, states, aro accepted by pr all authorities: 1, Anti -typhoid vaecina fors it notable immunity again phoid infection, . 2. It reduces by 75 per cent, case incidence of typhoid in group i of individuals submitted to nrinn ization. 3. It reduees the fatality rate typhoid about 430 per cent. 4, The disease runs milde roars° among tho previously i munizecl who contract it than does among those not so treated, The health commissioner reecnin mends all Chicagoans to obtain anti -typhoid vaccination before leaving for vacations, as this class furnishes a large part of the city's autumnal typhoid. Sass '-the ireporiino Please the Home Folks By serving Post Toasties They are among - the good things to eat, but not in the cook book, because they require no cooking. Toasties are always crisp and appetizing—ready. to 'eat direct from the pack- age.- You save heaps, of time and avoid hot work in the kitchen. Some rich cream—sugar If You want it—orcool fruit juice, with these fluf- fy bits of corn, and you have a dish that is fascin- ating for any meal of the ' day. Toasties are sold b grocers everywhere. Canadian Pastaza Cereal Co., Ltd, Windsor, Ontario, ; beat outaineol from fuel is ; stored IT sunlight, set 1, Tim Arab and the native Mexican speak of rine fruit. as fruit which .bac been cooked in the sun. The !ant has somehow learned the Air iof see cookery, tlm ovally& with 1whicii it irlei§teMi the grain proba- bly taking tho plaeo of yeast And sweetening through changes set up by its, influence upon stareb, — Ti13 efAM and P4L. htst!P•eat — then oe aninfateum tsoubt =4.9=4 DAWSON nt,o• e.,' Bram,r, Any Ileadaclie .Cntek. TircASYgems.Re-TOnc WITIE OR XiitYLt't rackeige, T her towns sod- eft R,OPFATTgi ;Aga etlier tom. W4lONOft5M '*t -TOMO% 0 ERRE 7631E. -- proved tarps, Pest graiu ?qui Write eiieuratP,Ps4P?r, Trade. lifuseholdt. $4,01t, tlMjt # EMPliOnlEis "ES 'IOU right- "Learn barber 4t1TSY Sur -0 inoinvnienr for bilrfier. 0,0 4.712: tornvon azetaeee, een#iaet Pract)re ctn% You for Priiiiiien in, abort time. Sood tor eatalccue. !doter Coliegai 24 Queen E., Toronto, Of.i4SE REST- S Otiif AND NICHT SOMETHIPIC THE STOMACH, PIe, iI QuIs5ssst cure t P never POVatI to Mese whit Ws Me, and this W tbe Assistant gagazi 11, Canander, bettet dieino %ban iiron'o Pills. W WO them rerular Nr of marvelous cures that re- Lnsr else. Tlicia oleaMisi tb net. at; a tonle ell the blood, ealtveri digestion, lie%) tiro stern. In and malio you feel strong and well. indinmaion and stoniach am VOria41011, that, the one nreseriu n is Dr, lIatuilionie nr ompokied of natural vegetable 'tUe, Dr. Hamilton's rais essers real power.Yet they are harmless. 'navy ths tsonnected with the stow and bowels. In consequence, rood 15 properly digested, lilt blood is pure and nourishing, tbe body is lent strong and resiotis disease, all and ntoreiceepers sell Dr, Ilamition's Tins, , per box, .5 for SIM, or by mail from the Catarrhozono Co., Buffalo, N.Y., and Eingsthu, Canada. BUNIONS BO JOKE. Not to ;be man wbo has to move abut, but a slight application of "Putnam's" softens the thickest iSilelul and curca the bunion quickly. 31.1f3t US good for warts, lumps, and eallaueee is Putnam's Painleas Corn Extractor. Use no other, 55c. at all dealers. What Ile Did. In "Little Humorists at School," H. J. Barker tells a story of a school mistress who asked one of the little girls in her class, the daughter of a man who was not always so sober as he ought to have been: "What is your father" "Please, mise," was the prompt reply, "when le's working he's a bricklayer; but when he's out of work he's a teetotaler." Kinard's Liniment cures nIstemosN Still Reep :Kissing Custom. The custom of "tutti-men" par- ading the town and exacting kisses from women and "heaclpence" from men was observed recently at Hun- gerford, Berkshire, England. It dates from John o' Gaunt, about 1370. All the women inmates of the workhouse insisted on being kissed. At the laundry the girls were par- aded and each tutti-man selected two to receive his kiss. The men visited other places in the town and found the women and girls for the most part quite willing to share in the celebration. So Elite nN'ran—and a Man. Husband --Xy love, we must get rid of that cook. Did you ever see ao worse -looking chop than the one I've just put an my plate.? Wife—Yes, dear; the one you've just put on mine! finnard's Liniment Cures colds. Eta. Then and :Now. The Governor (sternly—When was your age, my boo. I was mak- ing an honest living. The Bay— And now look at you! ti—ige-12" Try Murine Eye named No Smarting —reels Pin o—A oto Quickly YO no Try ttf,or Red Weak Watery Eyes an Granulated Eiellds 'illustrated EY' e-satei Boo 1I1 each Package. .3105155 Is cern e e tri Vdni:'..ferrglbff PITbagrinettritld2' by Drugglets at 15c -50c per bottle. liurIn al re Eye Salve In ASeptie Tubes, 2.50-100 Moline Ey Remedy Co., ChIcago "Ever lose a surgical case?" "Nope. I thought I was going t lose one once, but it came out al right." 'The patient came nea dying, eh 2" "Oh, he died. Bu his heirs paid for the operations.' Stinard's Linlment—C—"ures Carpet In Cow Beware the Dust. It is safe to say that if a sarnpl of dust be taken at random fro any office, warehouse, shop or Inc tory, and properiy tested for germ the tubercle bacillus, or the ger of •censumption, will invariably b found to be present in large num- bers: Now, it in the inhalation of dry, germ -laden dust that, is the commonest Call so of consumption, so that anything that tends to stir up 'this dust, which i,vill be breathed in, is literally "tempting Provi- dence," nspec:ally in weakly and anaemic persons with consumptive tendencies. As far as possible re- move all dust from your work and neighborhood by means of a damp ,dusier ;'never apply dusty fingers, stamps, envelopes or other objecti capable of carrying disease germs to your tiongue. r 55 sleiiiaaata. toe lartio MOTOR GAR CO., UMW* ichrttend St. woiti orcnto. Kong It, =7244 \Vesulsome Ant eipa Quid 'aid soca Uve ut workini." 'What area working ab TIOW r "Oh, 1 a&do/rf nothin" now, lot it gite 80 blame tiresome ex - tin' 1 mity have to begin almost; arsy time." YS LINIMENT Is Tho entr iiirdi iseniIll&td for at my store ad the onlY ne we ep for sale, Alt ibo peopa uSo it, ILARLIX, 7'CLTON. leasant Bay4 Cli. job," looked Boob. seller," ttinard's . swear were run those immodest. serve Queer Job. "Here s a man who has a queer said the Cheerful Idiot, as be up from his paper. 'What does be do i' asked the "He is bookkeeper for a replied the Cheerful Idiot. Liniment Cures Diphtheria. -- Dome. Home is a place where a man ca.n and do other things that it anywhere else he would be in for disturbing the peace. Gibbs—Don't you think some ol modern dresses are rathex Dibbsa-No '• but I'll re. my opinion of their wearers. TWO DELIVERY TRUCKS Capacity 1,500 pounds. ) Wired sides. Fully equipped. 10 ILIA i engine. • Price 01,000.00 each. RUSSELL AfOTOR CAR CO., Limited, 100 Richmond St., West. Toronto. Phone 11. 2072-5-4 a . PICIEEU a °NMI° NMIGATION CO. NIAGARA i .'' rmaarca, ---c-- THE SEA ' Lawyer---Thei prisoner pleads that he has the •grip. your 'Honor. Plaintiff—That's right-,ihe's got Your Vacation Trip MIME TO GO . Niagara 'Falls, Torente, Thou- sand iIsland, , SI. La-wrence 'Rapids, Montreal, Quebec and , the ' Saguenay River—ono of lin tnis rels1 most iMpresSive , scenic womlers. i tow rates fortiekets 'including nlealo ,and berths. For infor- 'nation apply to local ticket. agents . or illugh.n.,Raternon, . ' :Gen., Agt.; Toren - to, Ont., or . IL, -. Foster Chaffee, P.T.M., -Mont- real, Ulm.