HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 1980-02-28, Page 87W
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dave
sykes
l !J
I have a new playmate.
Last week readers were shocked to
learn of the sudden departure of half of
the Sykes -Seddon combination that has
appeared regularly on this page.
Jeff left our office in great haste to,
pursue a new and challenging career
within the company and I was left
without a playmate.
To' be honest, I„ believe my partner
was developing a nervous tick and at
times was prone to a severe •saliva
displacement problem (slobbering).
While being dragged, kicking and
screaming fromthe office, he muttered
rather incoherently that he "didn't
want to play anymore."
The rigors of being a columnist tends
to do that to normally sane adults..
lout- neither- - Jeff no -r-- - I----w-ere
presumptuous to assume that either
one of us was a sane adult. We knew
better.
And in all modesty, our mish-mashed
musings and demented perspective on
life achieved a hint of notoriety with the
readership. It defied all logic to be
sure.
Jeff and I go back five years and two
months when the Signal -Star beilieved
my qualities would blend in with the
weekly newspaper. I was vulgar, foul-
mouthed, narrow-minded, demented
and terribly sick.
I was apeefect partner.
Working with -Jeff was an experience
and fortuneately I am still alive to tell
about it. The caricature that•appeared
beside his column depicted Seddon in a
reclining position, phone to ear and feet
up on the desk. My desk, never his.
He was afraid of getting' horse
droppings on his desk and preferred to
prop the cowboy leather on my desk
top_It sN' as an ongoing battles
During the lighter moments of our
employment, 'which was most days of
the week,we were easily given to
distraction. One of the favorites was
closing the editorial room doors and
playing a stylized version of basketball
with tennis balls and garbage pails.
When the token female member of
the pulsating newsroom staff refused to
join the game, she was generally pelted
with tennis balls. It's rude to refuse an
invitation.
There was also the odd hockey
skirmish with miniature stick (we only
had one) and the editorial tennis balls.
The female member refused to play
,goal despite our insistence.
And pounding ourthis light-hearted
prose that, readers feasted 'on .weekly
was no easy chore. At times i was
more labor than fun.
The column faces a Tuesday morn jng
10 a.m. deadline and generally by 9.30
we sat facing each other groping for a
meagre inspiration.
"What the hell you gonna write
about?" he would ask.
"I don't know got any ideas," was my
humble response.
Somehow we managed to fill the
space but the deadlines took a beating.
One of the strangest aspects of our
wori1ing relationship Was the fact that
people always confused us. That was
difficult to comprehend but it happened
consistently.
My identity was .limited to being the
guy at the top of the page with the
seagull and I suspect Jeff was
recognized in the same way.
With his departure I have a new,
playmate at the bottom of the page but
I face a new problem. I am surrounded
by worrien.
As I sit in the pulsating newsroom
there is one on either side of my desk. It
is difficult to determine whether the
fact they ignore me is their way of
being friendly. •
They___ dial _smoke.,play tennis,
hockey, talk sports, goof around or
adorn their bulletin boards with rude
pictures.
I think I'm developing this nvous
tick, tick, tick.... •
Winners in the Grade 4, 5 and 6 category of Legion Branch 109's annual
public speaking contest held last Wednesday evening included, left to right,
Lori Millian of Colborne Central School who placed second for her speech op
Jimmy Skunk, -Mike Howe of Robertson Memorial Public School who placed
third for his speech on Blg Brothers; and Mary Michelle Morrissey of 'St.
Mary's Separate School who placed , first for her,speech on Shoes. Mary
Michelle will advance to the zone level in Clinton on Saturday. (Photo by
Joanne Buchanan)
Winners in the Grade..7 and 8 category of Legion Branch 109's annual public
speaking contest held last Wednesday evening included, left to right, Kim
Fritzley of Robertson Memorial Public School who placed second with her
speech, My Pet Peeves;Chuck Egener of Colborne Central School who
placed first with his speech on Nervousness; and Helen Conlon of St. Mary's
Separate School who placed third with her speech on Tennis. Chuck will
advance to the zone level in Clinton on Saturday. (Photo by Joanne
Buchanan)
the
derich�
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132 YEAR -9
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 1980
SECOND SECTION
Nervousness, pet peeves and big brothers
are the topics of winning speeches
Goderich Legion
Branch 109 held its an-.
nual public speaking
contest for elementary -
and high school students
on Wednesday evening,
February 20 at the Legion
Hall.
Seventeen •students
competed in the contest.
The • judges were . Pat
Kira,Goderich Police
Chi` f, Shirley Keller,
—Gadarre13---Si•g•n-al St
Editor, and 'Madelaine
Edward, a former school
teacher.
Mary . Michelle
Morrissey of St. Mary's
Separate' School won first
place in the Grade 4, 5
and 6 category with her
speech on Shoes. Lori
Millian of • Colborne
Central School was
second with her speech,
Jimmy, Skunk and `Mike
Howe of Robertson
Memorial Public School
was third with his speech,
Big Brothers.
Others chosen to speak
and represent their
schools in' the Grade 4, 5
and 6 category included
Robin Wark of Colborne won first place in the spoke on Bringing in
Central who spoke on Grade 7 and 8 category Wood and Lisa Baechler
Sailing,. Deane Dunne of with his speech • on of Robertson who spoke
Victoria Public School • N e r vo-u s -n e -ss . K'i m- on &races- --' - -"
who spoke on his Trip.to Fritzley of • Robertson • Paul Murphy of
Bob -Lo Island, . Cathy won second place with G.D.C.I. won first place
Tallow of St. Mary's who her speech, My Pet in the Grade 9 and 10
spoke on Music, Lori Peeves and Helen Conlon . category with his speech
Takalo of Robertson who of St. Mary's won third on Sportsmanship in
spoke on Guinea Pigs, -"with• her speech on Sports: Karen Hyde, also
and• Christine M,cClin- Tennis. - • . of G.D..C_L, was runner -
chez of "Victoria who up with her speech on
spoke on My Favorite • Others participating at Tutankhamun.
Star
Swire-r-rting-Hone - - tl�e-Grade ^� u levet Brand -a-- B itoof
Chuck ggener of included: Lisa Argyle of G.D.C.I. won 'first place
r^!hi;rne Central School Colborne Central who in the Grade 117-12 and 13
category with her speech
on Hypnosis. Mary,
Lillian Simpson, also of
G.D.C.T ,--was runner-up
with her speech on The
Circus.
First place winners •
from. Branch 109 will now
advance to compete at •
thezone level in Clinton
on March 1. From the
zone level, speakers 'can
- advance to the district,
area and provincial
levels.
Queen
Elizabeth
students
win medals
Sue paw 34
Legion Branch 109 held its annual public speaking
contest last Wednesday evening. Winners at the
high school level included, left to right, Paul
Murphy, first place in the Grade 9 and 10 category
with his speech on Sportsmanship In Sports; Karen
Hyde, runner-up in the Grade 9 and 10 category
with her speech on Tutankhamun; Mary Lillian
Simpson, runner-up in the Grade 11, 12 and 13
category with her speech on The Circus; and
Brenda Bolton, first place In the Grade 1T, 12 and 13
category with her speech on Hypnosis. Paul and
Brenda will advance to the zone level In Clinton on
Saturday. (Photo by Joanne Buchanan)
It was a merry and noisy evening as close to 200 beavers, cubs,
scouts, rovers, and their fathers got together for the annual
Father and Son banquet on Wednesday, February 20. The
banquet was held at North Street United Church and was part of
Thinking Week celebrations. (photo by Cath Wooden)
ntroducing Cath Wooden
I've become a consumer.
There was a time when I didn't place
myself in the same category as the rest
of Western society, a time when I
owned nothing and owed nothing. I
preferred to think of myself as a
martyr with a Vision rather than
vagrant. •
It wasn't long ago when this humble
reporter found out that all the good
Visions are taken and most martyrs do
not die in bed whilst sucking back
champagne. And, well heck, what else
is there to do but crash through the thin
ice of solvency and plunge 'checkbook -
first into the freezing water that is the
territory of blink managers, credit
cards, and monthly statements?
I have acquired a car. The bank
purchased it for me. I just went in there
and told the manager I needed a car
. and he paid for it and I don't even have
to give him back the money right away.
I am allowed to give it to him a little bit
at a time, so that I hardly even miss it.
• Isn't 'that nifty? I got something for
nothing.
- On the other hand, I had -to pay out
my own money for something that
hasn't even happened yet and might
not ever. It's called insurance. ¶ un-
derstarel people buy this not only for
cars, hut. also for houses and, animals
and themselves. The insurance lady
told me that if I give her some money
every six months, she will pay to have
my car fix>$d if it gets broken. But if it
gets broken for less than $250, I have to
fix it myself. In other words, I'm
probably getting nothing for
something.
This freezing water is most in-
teresting, and also confusing. I have a
sister who is quite professional about
getting into debt and not letting it
bother her. Perhaps she'll teach me the
ropes.
Mind you, the water warms up
considerably when I slip behind the
wheel of my brand new used car.
I should be ashamed of myself for
deriving so much pleasure from a mere
'thing'. But I confess to having a
terrific time cruising around and
around The Square, my elbow leaning
casually on the door, one hand guiding
the steering wheel, and the 'other
continually adjusting the radio, the
heat, the seat position, and the rear-
view mirr"ars. I've washed the little
beaut three times.
Now I've just -goi, to learn .what
makes the sucker run. What I know
about cars could be stuffed into the hole
• left by an olive pit.
When we took it out for a test -run, my
dad became slightly exasperated when
I informed him my criteria for in-
spection included interior and exterior
colour, and how well the radio worked.
I don't know about any other criteria.
A phone call to B.C. had to be placed
in order to inform another sister about
my new 'wheels'. Let me tell you about
this sister. She owns a white, 1972
0
Dodge Charger with a great huge
engine, mag wheels, a tape deck, and
an upside down breather, whatever
that means. (She also has a .tatoo, but
that's a different story.) I told her I
bought I car,
"Awright!" she exclaimed. "What
kind?"
A relatively simple question. "Blue,"
I answered proudly. I was told I no
longer had a sister and was hung up on.
Now she thinks I'm a failure. My
sister changes her own oil and boughte
set of wrenches with her birthday
money. She has no sympathy for a
female without a tatoo, let alone one
without wrenches. And I don't even
know where to pour the oil in my car.
Maybe she'll give me a correspondence
course.
By the way, if one of you out there
knows where I can get hold of a pair of
giant dice to hang from my rearview
mirror, I wish you A let me know.
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