HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 1985-06-26, Page 4P #," " 4 (t + 'I .f S+iONMI .TA , WE
One of the basic unwritten rules of the
Sykes' household' ( it's more of an
understanding between parents) is that
details of ,upcoming events are carefully
guarded;,from §,QUBradley.
It's not that we're attempting to conceal
relevant information about life from the kid,
or prsposelly keep him in the dark on
salient issues, Rather, the four year-old has
a penchant for driving his dutiful dad crazy.
with an inquisitive mind.
In short, given a little information, the kid
is dangerous. And slightly irritating.
Give the kid a little inside information on
an upcoming event and he will drive any
reasonably sane human around the
proverbial bend in a matter of minutes. No
doubt parents can understand.
Inform the kid that we'll play ball or
something after lunch and it immediately
triggers his thought process. "When is it
sK
t'.
DAVE SYKES
lunch?", "How long is that," "Is it lunch
yet?", "I think I'm hungry, do you wanna
have lunch dad?"
To circumvent that scenario, we tend to
spell things out rather than say the actual
words. But, then children know you're
talking about something you don't ware
them to hear. Have you noticed that children
have the innate ability to render parents
silly,
"Don't forg t we're taking the K -I -D -S to
the C-I-R-G-U4S on Friday," I offered to the
lady of the house.
But as soon as you begin spelling things
out, kids get suspicious. Bradley picked up
on it right off.
"Are you going to the R -U. -S dad?" he asks
as if he knows exactly what we're talking
about. "I think I'd like to go to the R -U -S too.
Laura do you wanna go too? We wanna go
dad. What's an R -E -S dad?"
At this stage parents exchange knowing
glances. We're beat and reason that one of
us will have to spill all the details and be
subjected to a barrage of questions.
For reasons unknown I volunteer for duty
and make the horrific mistake of making_a
big deal of going to the circus. I read the
contents of an advertisement that appeared
in the paper, changing ' inflection to
emphasize the features of the circus. Tons
and tons of elephants, I read, thrilling
acrobatic acts etc.
The suspense begins to mount and the
children respond with resultant "Wows"
and look rather wide-eyed at nothing in
particular. Even Laura, who is too young t4
know much about anything, is rather
impressed with the manner in which her
father reads about the thrilling circus acts.
I have the children worked up to a fevered
?itch with is exactly the situation I was
ervently trying to avoid. Bradley insists
that his father re -read the _circus
advertisement several times and Laura
walks about the house making rude animal
noises.
For three days my son asked if it was time
to go to the circus yet and his behaviour
reaffirmed our household policy. Don't tell
the kid anything until scant seconds before it
unfolds. .,
We held an unofficial countdown until the
day of the circus out of necessity and I
misleadingly regaled the kids' minds with
the propsect of fending off lions and tigersin
the front row seats at the Goderich Arena.
The mother of the children suggested we
should possibly sit in the back row, only
because the rear seats afforded a better
view she reasoned.
On the day of the event, milli -seconds
after a very early hour in the morning, I was
stirred by someone gently tapping on my
body. 1 opened an eye and focused on a
slightly excited boy who grinned and said,
"Guess what dad. It's circus day."
I'll never tell the kid another thing.
Opinion
THE NEWS PORT FOR GODERICH & DISTRICT
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oaericr
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Secure our airports
. Hijackings and air disasters have always been tragedies in remote corners of the world or
the product of demented terrorists in countries that seemed sufficiently removed from our
own situation to be of little consequence.
13ut while the world watches the developments unfold on board a Trans World Airline
jetliner on the tarmac at Beirut Airport in Lebanon where, hijackers are holding the crew
hostage, two bombings aboard aircraft that left Canadian airports on the weekend has
brought the problem of airport security close to home. ,•
A powerful bomb exploded in the baggage compartment of a Canadian Pacific jet at
Tokyo International Airport Sunday killing two Japanese baggage handlers and wounding
four others. The Canadian plane had left Vancouver and while the aircraft lande(. eight
minutes ahead of schedule in Tokyo the bomb exploded 30 minutes after landing.
Police are still pondering whether the bomb was designed to destroy the CP jet or it it was
to be transferred to another plane before going off.
Within an hour another bomb exploded on an Air India jetliner 100 miles off the coast of
Ireland, killing all 329 people aboard.
It was suggested that if both flights had been on schedule, the explosions -would have taken
place over Tokyo and London, England. There was also speculation that the bombings may
have originated in Toronto and are linked.
The fact that both the planes left Canadian soil with bombs aboard is most disturbing and
raises•serious questions about our airport security.
‘Vhile the TWA incident has sparked controversy over the safety of air travel, the tragedy
of the weekend bombings should be a loud and clear signal that airport security has to be
tightened all over the world.
There is no reason for people who must rely on air travel to have to be subjected to the
demented terrorism that we have been witness to over the past few weeks. There is no ex-
cuse for innocent people dying on flights that originate in Canada or anywhere else.
in view of what has transpired on the weekend, the Canadian government could show
sonic leadership with respect to airport security and not just a hastily contrived knee-jerk
reaction to the weekend's disasters.
.fudging from the evidence of the weekend bombings, both passengers and cargos will
have to be examined more carefully and stringently before planes leave our airports.
It ran be arguer) that those bent on destruction and murder for a ca use will find a method
-
ti) their message �d ri,sti irrespective of air�µrt-t Security . - _
Hut. it is aIs() conceivable that lives could be spared if more stringent measures were im-
posed on Intl, carr;o and passengers of commercial airlines. It is the least that governments
and ulr 105l-tlu.ltl tit).
c'onslderine the events of the weekend, Canada's airports and security systems would
have to he considered vulnerable to groups and factions who resort to terrorism.
There can he nu consolation to the people who have been injured and the families and lov-
ed ones of those killed. but now every effort miistFbc mare to secure air (.raveTan the air-
ports for the puhlir
The world will still watch Beirut anxiously in hopes a settlement can be reached there and
ih;lt crew it lei \,5 itt he released. In the meantime, the air travel community has a job to
do. i)
O.
Changing from a wooden bridge in 1913
Sugar and Spice By Bill Smiley
A newspaper article the other day remind-
ed me of one of the inexorable laws of
modern life: Things multiply in inverse pro-
portion to their use.
11 is a simple fact, and we've all been
through it, that there are certain things in
Life that multiply like rabbits, and others
that invariably disappear forever.
No )natter how hard you try to get rid of
pennies, they just build up, and if you carry
your loose change in your pants pocket, as I
do, after a week you are listing heavily to
thejaght. You pile your 18 pennies on the top
the dresser and start again, and aeek
later you have 22 pennies in the
pocket.
Another multiplier is the single sock. Start
out a new year with 12 pairs of socks. In
three months you'll have six pairs and six
odd socks. In six months, you'll have' 12
single socks. After years of suffering this,
I've counter -attacked. I now buy 12 pairs of
identical socks, so that after six months, at
least I have six pairs of socks.
Ladies used to have the same problem,
before the invention of panty -hose. But this
discovery hasn't lessened their problem. In
.the old_daysi if they got a run, they usually
had a spare single to match the good one
with. But now, if you get a hole in one leg of
your panty -hose, you're scuppered. Out they
go,_th_e intact one ath:thebum one.
Women also have other multipliers in the
singles division: earrings and gloves. How
many women in this fair land have seven or
same
and earrings proliferate ifi their solitary
glory.
Old keys multiply at a fantastic rate, until
cupboard drawers and plastic bowls are
overflowing with them. We have a huge col-
lection of car keys going back to our fifth -
last car, every key to the house before we
changed the locks, and enough skeleton keys
to outfit James Bond on one of his capers.
New keys are diminishers. I have lost two
sets of keys to my present car, and
sometimes search for half an hour to find
one of the new sets I had to order. The new
keys to the new locks disappeared, and I had
to take off the locks and go to the key man
for new ones. I wonder where they are, at
this moment? The new ones that is.
Paper is definitely in the multiplier list,
especially if you are a writer and/or
teacher.I sit to write this column in a sort of
tunnel between two massive piles of paper
higher than my head. Makes me feel like AP'
old badger.
Bottles, particularly those on which there
is no deposit return, pile up about as fast as
you can empty them. But prepare to take
back your beer -case of empties, and there
are always two miss.W.,_Where-did-thex go?__
Is there 'a guy, or a dame, hiding behind the
furnace who sneaks up when you are beddy-
byes, drinks two of your beers, then eats the
bottles? _ .__ ... ..
For the ladies, the wrong shades of
lipstick and half -empty bottles of nail polish
multiply, along with saucers for which the
eight exquisite simile earrings and four or _.cups have disappeared-
five superb single cloves? Wire coat hangers reproduce like rats.
It's quite fashionable these days for a man
to wear a single Barring, and a practical
chap who lost a glove would wear the other
and put his bare hand in his pocket. But
women don't think that way, and the gloves
i't is not one of life's great problems and as
a subject it would hardly cause high blood
pressure in passionate discussions, but in
the order of things in our daily lives it does
have its place. The municipal council is tak-
ing it seriously enough by including
references to the matter in a by-law and has
just passed a further amendment for more
restrictions.
1 am speaking of dogs and where you may
or may not allow your pet to accompany you
in town. Although the town council' members
had discussed the subject on several occa-
sions, one is left with the impression that
realistic thinking of all consequences had
not gone far enough.
You may walk (using a leash not more
than six feet long), carry or drive your dog
in any of the usual public street and park
areas in town, but no animals, including
dogs, are permitted on the beaches.
On the surface this sounds fair enough un-
til one looks at the newly established defini-
tion of beaches. According to bylaw 63 of
1985, the beach is "that area of the Town of
Goderich between the toe of the slope> and
the water's edge which is located to the
south of the north edge of the South Pier and
to the north of the north limit of the Water
Treatment Plant fence".
That covers not only the beaches (St.
Christopher's and harbour beach) but the
entire area from the pier (included) to the
far side of the water treatment plant, in-
cluding roads, parking areas and
everything in between.
It means that you could indeed legitimate-
ly walk your dog in the area beyond the
water treatment plant, since it is outside the
defined boundaries, but you cannot get the
dog there, because the road is included in
the prohibited area.
It means that you are not allowed to walk
your dog on the road at St. Christopher's,
even in winter. It means more. The bylaw
states that dogs are not permitted, without
qualifying it in any way. The bylaw specifies
the area, deliberately including the road
and parking spaces. So one woe d have to
conclude that it is rqually unlawful to take a
dog into the area 10 a vehicle or leave him in
your parked car while your family has a pic-
nic or enjoys a swim.
It means that this is a bit silly.
Last summer I happened to witness a lit-
tle tableau on St. Christopher's Beach. On a
lovely and quiet morning a woman sat
reading, with a very small dog curled up
beside her on her blanket. A town official
went up to her and said something with ob-
vious politeness i he was doing his job)
whereupon the woman quietly picked up her
blanket, book and clog, walked to her car
and drove away. I do not know whether it
was a local person who might have come
back later, leaving her little dog at home, or
perhaps it had been a visitor who simply
went on, taking with her the Goderich ex-
perience of a summer morning. Should she
return now when the prohibited area has
been extended to cover the road and the
parking spots, what would the town official
tell her? How will the bylaw be enforced in-
telligently and fairly, in its present shape?
The other day, while attempting to get my
coat out of the closet, I knocked down six
empty hangers. I carefully fished them up
from among the parts of the vacuum
cleaner, took another 40 empty hangers off
ELSA HAYDON
1111111.
Many families travel with their pets dur-
ing summer holidays. Are we spending
money to attract visitors and thoughtlessly
making rules to confuse the welcome we
promise? I understand the basic problem
and I am not at all promoting any free-for-
all ideas, but I do believe that in this one
area the bylaw goes to the other extreme. It
the pole, tied them all together with cord,
marched calmly into the basement and hurl-
ed them into the woodpile. Two weeks later,
I knocked down eight hangers while getting
my coat, and sat down and wept tears of
• fury and frustration.
Pencils multiply, but there's never one in
the house when you are trying to Oke down
a long-distance phone message.
Odd buttons multiply until it seems like a
button factory. But when you need" two the
same size and color, forget it. You have
6,000 buttons, no two alike.
You think you don't take many snapshots.
Been to the attic lately? There are 12 boxes
of them up there, right from your own baby
pictures, through your courting days, into
your own children at every stage, and about
500 of the grandchildren. But just try to find
that especially good one you want to send to
Aunt Mabel. Completely vanished.
Shoes multiply. My wife had about 36
pairs, most of them out of style, just like
that outfit she had to get the shoes to go
with. She had to tear my comfortable old
shoes out of my hands to put them in the gar-
bage. I go to a half-price sale, buy three new
pairs, and they sit there, stiff and stark.
while I go on wearing the old shabby ones.
Stamps run out ;1,1 -m02 -Ines pileup to iile
ceiling. Bills and receipts multiply while
hank accounts diminish. Pornography
flourishes as sex drive diminishes. Televi-
sion channels mil1tiply awhile their contents
diminish in quality. Workmanship
diminishes as cost of it soars.
And I've just 'touched the surface. How
abour acid rain ane tis r sa e, salted
highways and holes in your car''
Wa ; it always like this, or is it just a curse
of the twentieth century' Make up your own
list: two columns, one headed Multipliers,
the other flirninishers. It will shake you.
v
is a pity that the town council did not take a
close look at a municipality where a scooper
bylaw is in effect and working, like Toronto.
There is no hardship iii being prepared to
clean up after one's dog. I know, as I did it
for years. It ought to be treated as a normal
function.
I should like to see us live with far fewer
ill-considered and negatively restrictive
rules and put-downs. Even children are no
longer brought up like this. A more im-
aginative and intelligent approach to poten-
tial problems would encourage us to develop
our sense of responsibility instead, in this
case for our pets' actions. A scooper bylaw
emphasizing this would benefit all areas.
As a matter of interest, the present parks
bylaw as amended carries a fine of up to
$300, exclusive of costs, upon conviction
under the Provincial Offences Act. Im-
aginary scene in an impressive courtroom.
What is the charge against this woman?
Well, Your Honour, she had her little dog
sleeping beside her on the blanket while she
read on the beach in our beautiful and
friendly town.