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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 1982-11-17, Page 4PAGE 4--GODERICH SIGNAL -STAR, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 17,1982 DAVE SYKES - Parenting is more of an acquired art than an inherent trait, trendy psychologists are advising. In truth, I have to agree with that deduction. While a relative neophyte at the game, I have gained some deep respect and un- derstanding for the monumental task I placed on my own parents. I would submit that I taxed my parents' skills to the limit. Mother would eagerly agree with that hasty assessment and often phones to exercise her parental rights and powers, ever reminding this agent of the burdens unposed upon her. Parents nevergive up but I must concede to the fact that I am guilty of mental cruelty to parents. Now, I fear, my young son, is paying me back for the years of torment I unknowingly inflicted upon my parents. I have the eerie feeling, that at 20 months of age, he is wise beyond his years and already manipulating the heck out of his parents. Whenever the youngster's antics warrant a father -to -son type conversation, he simply drives me around the bend by casually ingoring my sage advice or engaging in diversionary tactics. In short, the kid ignores his father and is undoubtedly con- vinced I'm a soft touch While engaging m such tete-a-tetes the little guy will idly stand by, place his hands behind his back, roll his tongue around and look the other way as if to say "Are you finished yet." It's infuriating but I've been forced to laugh or snicker a few times and been duly chastised by the missus for not taking the matter seriously. I don't particularly mind if he considers his father an air -head, but the least he could do, out of courtesy and respect, is listen to what I have to say. It would, at least, fuel the old man's ego somewhat and give me the false impression that meagre attempts at parenting are getting through to him. If the little guy isn't blatantly ignoring my fatherly advice, he employs the backup tactic of pointing out diversions. Of course he alternates tactics so that simple-minded parents can't identify a distinct behaviour pattern. He doesn't give me much credit. At best, it is difficult to determine if the father-sgn talks produce any concrete results. He attacks his daily routine in the same truculent style and a visual examination of his habits would suggest he doesn't see much merit in my line of thinking. On a more encouraging note, there is evidence to indicate that disciplinary measures don't go unnoticed. He will go to great lengths to put his grimy paws on a humble household treasure and im- mediately slap himself on the hand, just to let us know he is well aware that it was off limits. But, at.the same time, he is telling us that while he realizes a slap is in order for touching something, he's going to do it anyway. Do parents ever win. I think kids take great delight in testing parental skills and its impossible to be wishy washy or they'll take advantage of it. I can't blame them, as a youngster I seized every opportunity available. It's just that parents become stodgy in their approach and I'll bet every parent and child has grown upwith the same phraseology, "How many times do I haveto tell you," and "If I told you once I told you hundred times." Give children credit, they understand. They simply think parents don't know what, life's all about. *CNA BLUE RIBBON AWARD 1979 Second class mail registration number -0716 SINCE 1848 THE NEWS PORT FOR GODERICH & DISTRICT founded In 1$4$ and published every Wednesday at Ooderlch, Ontario. Member of the CCNA and OWNA. Adver. , diking rates on request. Subscriptions payable In advance °10.N In Canada, °SO.M to U.S.A., °SO.M to all other count. , trios. single copies SOC. Oisplay advertising rotes available on request. please oak for Rate Card No.13 effective Oc- • tabor 1. MO. Second doss moil Registration Number 0810. Advertising Is accepted on the condition Met In the , event of typographical error, the advertising space occupled by the erroneous Item. together with reasonable allowance for signature. will not be charged for but that balance of the advertisement will be paid for at the ap- I p11nNe rate. In 1M event or a typographical error advertising services or servls at • wrong price, goods or services may not be sold. Advertising 1a merely an offer to sell, and may be withdrawn at any time. The SIgnul•Ster Is not responsible for the loss or damage of unsolicited manuscripts. photos or other materials used for reproducing pur- 1 poses. PUBLISHED BY: SIGNAL -STAR PUBLISHING LIMITED ROBERT G. SHRIER-President and Publisher DONALD M. HUBICK-Advertising Manager DAVID SYKES-Editor P.O. BOX 220, HUCKINS ST. INDUSTRIAL PARK GODERICH N7A iB6 FOR BUSINESS OR EDITORIAL OFFICES please phone (S19) 524-8331 A lesson learned Community and Social Services Minister, Frank•Drea„ may learn a valuable lesson in his attempts to effect the closure of the Bluewater Centre for the Developmentally handicapped. And that lesson is that full consultation with parents, ti staff , and surrounding communities should be a prerequisite to government policy. Doing it after the fact excludes the affected people from voicing any concerns. Those concerns are now being voiced in strong fashion but certainly the objectors have, to wonder if they carry • any weight. While they are not resigned to the fact the policy will be implemented as presented, they have doubts. ' . The parent and volunteer associations of Bluewater Centre requested a meeting with Drea following thean- nouncement of the closure. What meeting . didn't materialize and instead, Dr. Gary Baker, administrator . of the ministry's five-year plan, met with a group of hundreds at the centre Wednesday. Staff and parents adequately articulated their concerns and fears to Baker and ministry regional director Murray Hamilton and while Dr. Baker assured the group its concerns would be personally passed on to Drea, the • group was not offered any false hopes. But, it did at least serve to .unite the group. Staff, parents,volunteers and interested citizens directed Baker to tell Drea not to close the centre. That was their distinct message. 1 They all have legitimate concerns and fears for the residents and subsequently the loss of jobs in the com- munity. The bottom line of the discussions was that Bluewater Centre is one of the finest institutions of its kind anywhere and residents consider it home. A happy home. That speaks well of the staff and the dedicated service they provide on a daily basis. • Governments are elected by the'people and ideally work for the people. The ministry is laying some of the blame, for deinstitutionalization on Associations for the Mentally Retarded. Group homes will work for some people but are obviously out of the reach of lower functioning. residents. Drea has been to the centre before. He knows the kind of facility that exists' and what it means to the community. He : knows that the dedication of staff, parents and volunteers has created a comfortable and loving at- mosphere for residents. He has commended that effort with words. It may well be for those reasons that Drea did not seek consultation on the closure matter. And for those same reasons, he is not likely to face the people affected by his unilateral policy% D.S. New home is welcome The decision by the Huron County Family Crisis Committee to establish a home for battered wives and their children in Goderich is a welcome one. While area residents may be content to languish in the fantasy that the Huron County community is atypical, far removed from the problems plaguing larger urban cen- tres, the Mennonite sponsored committee recognized a problem and is making genuine attempts to offer assistance. Councillor Elsa Haydon, at Monday's council meeting, said it was unfortunate that a need existed for such a home but she added that it must be recognized that some men do indeed beat their wives. The home, located at 101 West Street, will provide shelter for victims and their children until alternate arrangements can be made. Personnel and funding will be provided by the Mennonite Central Committee, a renowned relief and service agency. The committee initiated its own investigation or needs study before pursuing the prospect of purchasing a suitable home. That study, they suggested to town council, indicated that ,a home for battered . wives and their children was needed in Huron County. Both police and social service agencies endorse the project, claiming the number of reported cases warrants the establishment of such a home. It will provide adequate accomodation for victims until they are able to make a rational decision on options and, alternatives to living at home. . Previously, victims may have been placed in a hotel or motel, and they were often forced to make decisions while emotionally distraught. The home will at least offer' an alternative, and victims will be afforded the luxury of time to make a rational decision for themselves and their children: The home will only house three victims at any one time and while licencing is required by the Ministry of Com- munity and Social Services, the Mennonite Central Committee will staff and fund the operation of the home. Council welcomed the initiative of the Huron County Family Crisis Committee and the' home will be a welcome and needed, addition to the community. D.S. ur-MR- f alk -deserve more Dear Editor: It's nota ease of "Either -Or" Our M.R. folk deserve much more So let'ssuniteandwin this war And help all M.R. folk. It seems that Com-Socs Mr. Drea Seeks to divide and win that way But if we unite with a power play We can help all M.R. folk. If we fell for the Either -Or ploy. And made you feel a "Whipping Boy." we're very sorry to hurt or annoy That would hurt our M.R. folk. We of local One Two Two Respect the work that others do And hope you see we're working too To help all M.R. folk. For they need you in the Community And they need us in the B.W.C. So together let's show the powers that be That we love our M.R. folk. The Huron County Hick First snowfall By Dave Sykes DEAR READERS SHIRLEY KELLER I wasn't going to say a word about the.Iast elec- tions. I was just going to shrug my shoulders and try to forget it. I was planning to adopt the at- titude that "If nobody else cares, why m the world should I?" But I can't keep quiet, even though I know my. opinions fall somewhere between rhetorical and redundant. I guess it is because I'm, the eternal optimist who has to believe that because yester- day was the pits is no reason not to hope tomor- row will be tremendous. re, I've been working in newspapers in Huron County for the past 20 years or more. And during that time I've been making a study of the Huron County voter - his aims and objectives. There's one thing I can say without hesitation. Voters in Huron County are loyal. All one needs to do in Huron is to get elected that first time. After that, it is clear sailing. The average incumbent in Huron County elec- tions does not need to worry, that his record of decision-making during the previous term of of- fice will have much to do with whether or not he gets the nod from his constituents for another three years. Huron County voters seem to forget all and forgive everything at election time. By far the majority of voters - or so the results year after year would lead one to believe - simply mark their ballots out of duty. An excellent case in point is the election for council in Goderich. Jim Magee made it quite clear that although his name was on the ballot, he would not be eligible to serve. Jim said he was moving away from Goderiqh. Yet Jim tallied 490 votes from 490 voters who either didn't have enough interest in the election to know that Magee was out ... or were using a strange way to register their disapproval for any of the other 1p'candidates. One wonders if those 490 votes had been assign- ed to other candidates if the outcome would have been different. There were 26 votes separating Don Wheeler and Bob Cornish, and only three votes separating Bruce Ryan and Cornish. Is it possible that the sixth member of council would have been a dif- ferent man 1 or" woman - Maria Metcalfe could have slid past. Don Wheeler with only 300 or so of Magee's votes)? Or if all of Magee's votes had gone to Dave Harrison, Harrison would have been on council with 100 votes more than Don Wheeler. But somehow though, the voters' choice for local municipal councils and public utilities com- missions never seems as crucial as it should. Maybe it is because all of the elected officials live and work right in the community where they are elected. They rub shoulders day in and day out with the people who pay the bills and they are easily accessible because their meetings are held' in the community on a regular basis. One doesn't need to worry about taking his concerns to council because he has nine representatives on that council, most of whom he knows. What's just as important, they usually know him. too. All this means there's a kind of checks and balance system in play that assures that in by far the greatest number of cases, the will of the ma- jority will out. • But when it comes to the board of education, it's an entirely differ,nt matter. Here the local municipality elects just one representative who may or may not know all his constituents. He goes to meetings outside the municipality where the odds are good he'll get swallowed up in a large group of board members, each with his own set of problems. It is not surprising then that board of education trustees complain they seldom hear from their constituents. It • isn't any wonder either, that trustees tend to lose touch with even the 'local schools - the teachers, the students, the parents. the issues. The tendency is to get caught up in the broad overview of education that is too general and too far removed from the specific concerns of the local constituent to be of any help and com- fort. . That's why it is prudent for voters to use a dif- ferent set cif rules for choosing board trustees than other municipal elected officials. Incum- bent trustees 'should be judged on past perfor- mance at the board level; new trustees should be elected whenever the incumbents have .proven they cannot or will not act as you would have wished them to.: Huron County Board of Education trustees voted solidly in committee last winter for a pay hike equalling better than 30 percent over. their. stipend for the previous year. Not only that, they attempted - and almost succeeded - to shroud this high-handed decision in meaningless phraseology within the committee minutes. The whole matter was kept blissfully quiet until this summer when the community weekly press in Huron County finally caught wind of the dirty deed. Every single newspaper in Huron County took • the board members to task for their willingness to grant themselves such a healthy increase while others all around were accepting pay cuts • or suffering layoffs and job losses. More than this, Huron weeklies argued in unison that a board that fails to openly and unashamedly announce in clear understandable terns such decisions to the taxpaying public as they happen, is a board that deserves to be turfed . out at the very next opportunity. With a few notable exceptions, the voters of Huron County chose to return the very trustees who disappointed them and frustrated them dur- ing the last two years. So it's back to the drawing board for rne, land some more study.: Maybe one day I'll understand just how Huron folk -think. And why. Where would we be without servicemen Dear Editor, Not long ago 1 overheard a young girl make a derogatory remark about an elderly Legion ,,n ember. 1 desperately wanted to rep roach ler._ but Lfelt _in- capable of verbalizing my feelings to her. Guilt has plagued me ever since for not standing up to her and defending a cause I believe in: • I wish to take a stand now and dedicate this message to my father, who served Overseas on the HMCS "The Haida", to my uncles who also served in variolas" branches of the armed forces (one of whom did not.make it back ), and to all of the servicemen everywhere. Without their courage, where would we be today? It was not all pomp and pagentry as it appears to be LETTE Els in the movies Ii wseeing your best friend 7 diase by the. a enemy's bull -. li,. There are so many of us today who have never lived through a war. Sure - we hear daily of wars in far off countries; -but- -they :do- not really touch us. We forget 'about there and go on about our business. Our fathers and their fathers before them did not have that choice - their country called them and before they knew what was happening they were off to fight in a war that they knew virtually nothing about. They soon would learn. ballet and feeng despair and hatred and fear —all at Brice. It '1r ani g o the incessant din of the bombs and rifles both day and night. It was sleeping in muddy tremThes or sometimes, not sleeping_._at.. all.was hearing the moans and screams of the wounded and dying. These men lived through horrors that we, in our wildest dreams cannot imagine. In our com- fortable little worlds we tend to forget all this. We scoff at their war stories instead of taking the time to listen and understand. We forget what Conscription was not really -necessary. Young and old alike were eager to join up. hi fact many young men lied - about -their age br-order that they too could enlist. They willingly left their families and their hoiYies to defend their country, because they knew it was necessary. They put down the tools of their trades and picked up guns. They learned to kill or be killed. The war was not glamourous as we sometimes imagine it to be. these men went through for us - for the sake of freedom and peace. We owe them so ranch. Many mei to this day relive over .aad—ovel_again._.-_ s � e nig lh mare of war. It left many invisible scars that will not fade or heal with the passing of time,. but I' truly., ' believe that if the need arose, they would do it -all - again. They were proud to fight for Canada and their pride has never faltered. This is never more evident than on November 11, Armistice Day, when they solemnly march through the streets carrying their flags and banners to the cenotaph on what is usually a bitterly cold and rainy day. But no Turn to page 5 8