The Goderich Signal-Star, 1981-08-05, Page 4PAGE 4—GODERICH SIGNAL -STAR, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 5; 1981
elegwailiateessansteaws
days
sykes
BLUE
RIBBON
AWARD
Second class.
mail registration
number -0716
•
It is extremely painful
Returning to work following a languid but
enjoyable two-week respite is somewhat
painful and a touch depressing.
The female contingent •of the pulsating
newsroom neglected -to hop about the room
while feigning much glee at the propsect of
my return. In fact, there was nary a mur-
mer, exchange of pleasantries or even a
feeble salutation that hinted this
correspondent was sadly and dearly missed.
a' -I was ignored in the usual rnanner which is
in accordance with .company policy as
failure to comply with the .Ignore -Spike
Policy results in stern retribution by
management.
So there was just a touch of despondency
on my part considering the staff was not
unduly pushed at the loss .of my dutiful
labors. In short, many employees expressed
displeasure that my holidays were of such
short'duration.
Returning to the rigors of a rigid work
schedule after a period of relaxation is
demanding on the psyche, but when no-one
seems to take notice, well, the ego does take
a bit of a beating. But I am big enough to
handle it.
One of the most negative aspects about
returning to work is that things haven't
changed and all the,office idiosyncracies are
still much in evidence.
And the most demandipg aspect of this
job, the deadline, is still haunting and
nagging at this wretched writer to produce a
column or reasonable facsimile by the 5,
p.m. curfew. Some thipgss refuse to give in to
change. �.
The only change in the holiday plan,, as
mentioned .earlier in these grey bits, was.
that the vacation was actually planned to
the point that two weeks were booked during
the summer. It turned out to be a welcome
change from the frigidity of October.
For two solid weeks this correspondent
did little of any consequence and in
retrospect it was pleasant. Naturally there,
were a few household.maintenance projects
that required my inept attention but, for the
most part,it was just boogaloo and barbeque
time.
Unfortunately, the resident better half is
much more comfortable with a life planned
five years in advance. Being on vacation
with me, two weeks of unplanned euphoria,
was something of a novelty and trying ex-
perience. We struggled throughwith some
semblance of sanity.
And it just so happened that mother
phoned one evening, and realizing that her
son was also on holidays, zipped up to the
homestead the very next day. Now two days
with mother is like trying to pretend the
tornado in the living room doesn't exist.
Dear mom took it upon herself to assign
this vacationing vagabond a limitless list of
projects and 'proceeded to rearrange the
entire grounds. Now I didn't mind the way
the greens were shaping up around the
home, but mom took a different view of
things and buzzed around like a runaway
tractor. So much for her faith in my gar-
dening ability.
As for the bulk of thetime off, there were a
few lenghty trips to the golf course, a visit
here and there and some genuine lazy days
spent in a lounge chair with book and
refreshing beverage in hand.
Of course the wee guy commanded a large
chunk of attention too and I watched with
surprise as the youngster grew, learned how
to project his slobber onto -other people's
faces, inflicted excruciating pain upon his
dad with a firm grip on the nose and marvel
at how a snug fitting Pamper isn't a
qualified guarantee.
Many people feel travelling is a must on
holidays but I am rather content to simply
detach myself from work.
But I sure would feel better if someone at
the office noticed that.:I was away.
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Not a cozy winter
While the weather of the past week has been decidedly
'hot, the meteorological patterns have adequately
reflected the economic climate. -
The Canadian dollar; l headlines scream,. is sliding
nearer depression levels; -bra no mention is made of the
depressing state of the bearer of such bills. There is an
obvious correlation. -•
The dollar and interest rates are, heading in opposite
directions, stretching hie consumer to harried limits.
Canada is now a high risk in the financial jungles.
Traditionally, higher interest rates have attracted foreign
investment, namely American dollars, and such in-
vestment has served to at least prop up an ailing Canadian
dollar. But interest rates now have surpassed the 20 per
cent barrier and it has not served the economy in the
traditional sense.
One money trader suggested that money markets are
fearful of holding Canadian dollars and the market is
psychologically negative towards the dollar. So, despite
escalating interest rates, investment money will not be
flowing into Canada
Consumers cannot play catch up with interest and in-'
flation • rates, although- efforts - in that direction are in
evidence across the country. Canadians are being hit with
strikes at an alarming rate aas workers seek new contracts
with hefty increases in payrates, benefits and the
ultimate concession of job security.
If it is any consolation, Canada is among the leaders in
man hours lost to Strikes and bigger numbers are being
racked up with the current unrest oh the labour scene. The
postal service has been shut down as 23,000 inside workers .
seek' a new deal from the Government.
And . recently the picket lines swelled as 18,000 steel
workers across the country walked off the job and other
strikes such as CBC technicians are now a common
ingredient of the Canadian way of life.
The path is a scary one and no-one is quite sure where it
leads. There is little optimism about the dollar gaining
any semblance of strength inthe near future. And interest
rates will remain at record levels for the next twelve
months at least, experts offer:
Which doesn't offer any reassurance for a cozy winter.
A
All ,citizens have rights
In our society, a citizen has the right to drink alcoholic
beverages, the right even to drink himself or herself silly
if such be his or her tastes and tendencies. But this right
must always be assessed in the wider social context.
A person's right to drink must not be exercised in ways
that interfere unduly with the rights of other persons. If
someone's drinking causes behaviour that endangers you
or even seriously inconveniences you, you have the right
to interfere to some degree with his or her drinking, If that
person drinks and then drives on a road which you are
driving, then his or her drinking becomes very much your
business.
A bewildering variety of statistics is available on
drinking -and -driving and an even more bewildering
variety of interpretations of those statistics. But it is
impossible to avoid the conclusion that in an alarming
proportion of ail traffic accidents, especially those
resulting in deaths and serious injuries, there is an alcohol
factor.
Professor John Cohen, an English psychologist, made
some exacting investigations of driving skills. Here is one
of the conclusions: "Moderate quantities of alcohol tend to
make most drivers increase their speed, although they
are usually unaware that this is happening...Alcohol in-
tensifies any driver's tendency to overrate his ability in
relation to his performance.
This conclusion comes Out of carefully controlled ex-
periments with real drivers and real alcohol.
Two psychiatrists working in the same field, Dr. Neil
Kessel and t r. Henry Walton make this comment: "The
drinker is in the worst .possible position to make the
decision whether he is safe to drive or not." They add this
warning: "The drinker himself becomes progressively,
less able to detect his own impairment.
The hands of the police and the courts must be
strengthened with respect to drinking -anti -driving mat-
ters. Breathalizer and other related tests, it must .be
recognized, do interfere to some extent with a citizen's
rights and liberties -but surely we must balance those
against the rights and liberties of all the other citizens.
"Rights and liberties should never be abused, but then
again, they must also be respected in all individuals and in
all cases. (contributed)
Summer berth
by Jason Ainslie
DEAR
REA
' BY SHIRLEY J. KELLER
The whole world is agog and aghast at the
medical revelation that it is now possible for men
to have babies.
But it is the worst kind of newsfor the post
office.
That federal organization has enough
problems right now with women who believe
society should pay them to have their children. If •
pregnancy and childbirth becomes a normal (or
abnormal) function for men as well as women,
the post office will.be majoring in a new kind of
delivery service. And the stamp -licking public
will be footing the bills.
Talking .to a few of the male species , last
weekend left the distinct impression that men
aren't all that thrilled with the possibility of
carrying a child for nine months. '
'Since time began, men have been smug and
Confident when it came to bearing the next
generation. Their passive part in the whole
procedure was quite enough for them.
But occasionally, their ignorance got in the
way. Some men just couldn't help passing curt
comments suggesting women were making too
big a fuss about having children which, after all,
was their biological reason for existence.
'Now that fathers can put their superior for-
bearance to the acid test, they aren't so sure of
their facts. Now that they can get actively in-
volved in the production process while mother
slips through the ordeal slim, unencumbered and
comfortable, they are starting to hedge a bit.
Pregnant males would still have an edge over
women. They woukl always have the choice
alums whether or not they wanted to be with
toplISSININWIr
The latest summer fad is getting out of
hand. For the past few summers, everytime
I turn around, there is a flea market staring
me in the face. I find it amazing that
everybody has discovered a build-up of junk
in their basements, attics, and garages that
needs to be sold to someone. And naturally,
there is that someone who would like to build
up the amount of junk in their basements,
attics, and garages.
There was a time when I was one of these
someones. I am relieved to say that I have
kicked the habit.
I')ke always been what you'd call an im-
pulse buyer, a flea marketeer's delight. In
previous years many a flea market has
drawn me and my wallet like a magnet and I
have the junk to prove it. I made purchases
of neat stuff like forks, salt and pepper
shakers, plates, bowls, old comic hooks.
Once I bought an old Monkees album that 1
often play a speed too fast just fonkicks'
But this summer is different. I made a
vow to control myself and I aril happy to say
that, though I have been exposed to several
flea markets this summer, my impulses
have been squelched. The trick I use is to not
take any money with me.
The most impressive flea market I've
seen this summer is a few miles south of
Grand Bend. This one has turned junk into
big business and you evert have to pay 50
cents admission. The vendors are real pros
that know when they have something that
someone will want, and they charge for it. In
other words, bargain hunters can forget it.
As 1 walked through, I could feel my
impulses taking hold but I was safe in the
knowledge I was broke.
I was astounded at the amount of military
memorabilia for sale. 1 find military
memorabilia icky and yucky. There were
old buttons, medals, uniforms with bullet
holes in them, flags, bayonets, war money,
and a tiny silver cannon going for $75. To
each his own, I guess.
Nn.
My passion is to go through all the old
dusty books. I discovered one of those great
big home medical journals that were
popular in the early 1900s and spent 15
minutes giggling over it before the vendor
got annoyed.
There were cures for everything from
hang nails to mental illness. There was even
a picture of a doctor in spectacles doing
something disgusting to a cow which ap-
pealed to my sick sense of humor. Out of
curiousity, I' asked the man how much he
wanted for the book. $10.50. Sheesh.
I moved on, looking through the stalls'
selling plastic thingies, beat up wicker
chairs, old clothes that the -new wave.
rockers were ripping through, and broken
toasters.
I then discovered one of those truly
grotesque lamps made out of shells. You
know the kind. I mean. There is a big flat
shell as a background with little shells and
sea horses glued to a base, all painted gaily.
0
ERS
child.
It is understood the fetus would be surgically
implanted and the baby surgically delivered. No
surprises.
You.might think'it all sounds a little hokey. It is
safe to say male pregancies won't catch on
quickly in Goderich.
But there's no doubt about it. Somewhere
sometime out there - and probably very soon now
- some man is going to want to make Ripley's
Believe It Or Not book by being the first male to
deliver a healthy child :
This all reminds me of a film I saw not too long
ago that explored the theory that we are the sum
total of our childhood programming until about
the age 10 - and the significant.emotional events
that enter our lives after that time.
The film explained that the reason so many
elderly people won't fly in a jet airplane is
because when they were children, humans did
not fly and it was felt they never would fly. Now,
humans who fly are not normal humans in the
mind of many seniors.,
Ever ask' your grandmother to fly somewhere
with you? What was her first reaction?
The commentator in the film had it down pat.
He said the average 80 year old today will tell
you, "If God had wanted people to fly, He would.
have given them wings."
But talk to 'a 20 -year old and it's a different
story. Young people are 'ready to fly anywhere
anytime with anyone. Why? Because jet air-
planes were very much a normal exciting part of
their growing -up years. They've been'
programmed to believe that air travel is safer
than highway travel and that, it is faster and
There was a bare socket sticking out of the
middle. I suppose there was a day when
those were fashionable.
My impulses bounced madly when I came
across a milk can. Anybody who leafs
through House Beautiful magazines knows
that milk cans are chic. I don't exactly know
what I would do with a milk can, but I know
I'd be happy if I had one. But alas, I didn't
have my money with me as planned, and the
milk can went to solneone else's beautiful
house.
I stopped by one of those tables that say,
"Anything on this table for 25 cents". In it
was much in the way of junk such as half a
pair of scissors, a frayed measuring tape,
the arm off a dolly, and a small pillow. The
pillow was blue with fringe and had a pic-
ture of Niagra Falls on it - a honeymoon
memento from 1943 I imagine.
I tore myself away from the flea market,
impulses intact, feeling a bit dusty, and even
a bit itchy. It's all in the name.
more efficient. What's more, they've seen it.
They've experienced it. It's right and proper.
Twenty-year olds aren't really more daring
than 80 -year olds. It's simply that they have been
programmed in a different time with different
influences and different standards.
But ask the average 20 -year old male if he is
anxious to take turnabout pregnancies with his
wife in the future, and he might well perceive
you'd blown a main fuse in your thinking
mechanism.
Not on your life, he'll exclaim. He might even
say something like, "If God had wanted men to
have babies, He ,would have installed tummy
zips."
The whole idea of men having babies is
another step to full equality of the sexes. Lots of
today's people are into that whole business of
males and females sharing equally in
everything. To some, it is of utmost importance.
For me, it is the height of silliness: And what's
more, I can envision a multitude of new and
ridiculous social problems because of it. I'm
simply too old to get serious about working them
through.
But that doesn't mean the adventure of male
pregnancies will be forgotten. And who knows
what other strange and foolish fancies will catch
on in the years ahead?
Life is just like a roller coaster ride. You go up
and down, around and over at a speed over which
you have no control. It's a mixture of thrills,
chills and spills. The trick is to hang on tight to
what you feel is solid and secure.
And there's no shame in being frightened. Only
a fool would ride the course without caution or
concern.
1